Receiving The Books
by Bella Katelyn
Summary: On their arrival home from their honeymoon, Bella and Edward find out that five books have been delivered to the Cullen house. Four from the past and one of the future. Follow my story as they sit down to read. How will Bella react when she hears Edward's thoughts for the first time? How will Edward react when he realises Bella's feelings for him mirrored his own?
1. The Books Arrive

**Title:** Receiving The Books – The Cullens Read Midnight Sun

**Author:** Bella Katelyn

**Rating:** M

**Summary:** On their arrival home from their honeymoon, Bella and Edward find out that five books have been delivered to the Cullen house. Four from the past and one of the future. Follow my story as they sit down to read. How will Bella react when she hears Edward's thoughts for the first time? How will Edward react when he realises Bella's feelings for him mirrored his own?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to author Stephanie Meyer, and are brought to the fandom by Summit Entertainment. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours. With that said I hope you enjoy this story as much as I'm going to enjoy writing it.

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**Chapter One**

**The Books Arrive**

**BPOV**

Edward and I had just returned from our honeymoon after two weeks on Isle Esme. I'd wanted to stay longer; however in my heart I knew returning early would be beneficial not only to my health but the health of our unborn baby. The minute we arrived home everyone other than Alice and Carlisle asked why we were home early; all the questions started to make me slightly dizzy, thankfully Edward sensed how I was feeling, picking me up bridal style and carrying me into the living room where a large package was sitting on the coffee table.

"Alice what's in the package?"

"Books, five to be exact, they were left on the doorstep when I got home."

"That's why you called us home Alice, really?"

I could tell Rose was upset; I'd been on the receiving end of that look too many times. Suddenly I felt very grateful that we were on good terms now. Nuzzling my head into Edward's shoulder I tried to ignore the uncomfortable churning in my stomach. After counting my cycle we'd realised that I'd conceived the first night of our honeymoon, therefore I was only two weeks pregnant however because the baby's father was a vampire, the symptoms earlier. Taking deep breaths out, I inhaled Edward's honey sunshine and lavender scent allowing it to calm my nerves.

Yes Rose really. And before you get mad at me, there is a valid reason we were given these books. There was a letter attached to it I'll read that now."

"Well, let's get started. It's been a long journey and Bella's tired."

_Dear Cullen Family_

_These books are extremely important to your future. There are five in total. Four of them are from Bella's perspective and the fifth is told from Edward's perspective. Don't worry; your secret is safe with me. Like Alice, I see the future however I also have the gift to see the past. It's important ALL of you read this especially Edward and Rosalie. You could learn from some of your mistakes. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing them_

_Stephanie Meyer._

_P.S Jasper don't try and look me up online, you won't find me._

"Bella sweetheart, I made you some dinner, I hope you like it."

Turning my head toward Esme, I smiled slightly not having the heart to tell her I felt nauseous. Just the thought of eating had my stomach churning as I swallowed repeatedly. Suddenly I could smell the food coming from the kitchen as the urge to throw up became unbearable. Covering my mouth I dashed into the nearest bathroom, leaning over the porcelain god just as I lost my lunch. Automatically my hand rested against my belly feeling familiar cold hands rubbing my back in soothing motions.

"So much for keeping our news secret for a while. What are they thinking?"

"Mostly concerned but they don't suspect. Are you ready to re-join the family?"

"I think so, I still feel sick but it's manageable."

Before I could reach out to flush, Edward had already done it; again picking me up bridal style carrying me back into the living room where all but two vampires were looking at me, concern noticeable on their faces. Taking another deep breath I nuzzled my nose into Edward's shirt inhaling his scent again. I smiled slightly feeling embarrassed and a little self-conscious.

"I'm sorry about that. I'm okay now I promise. Alice should we start reading."

"Of course we should?"

"How about I start then we take it in turns? Midnight Sun first."

After Edward had sat down with me firmly in his lap I picked up the first book smiling as I relished in the fact I was finally going to hear what Edward had been thinking in those first few months when he was so confused wanting only to keep me safe. Leaning up I kissed his cheek moving down his jaw until I found his lips smirking as I turned my focus back to the book in my hand.

"If you're good through this I promise not to complain when it's my turn."

"Alright. I promise."

"The first chapter is called **First Sight**."

**This was the time of day when I wished I were able to sleep. High School. Or was purgatory the right word? If there****_was_********any way to stone for my sins, this ought to count toward the tally in some measure. The tedium was not something I grew used to; every day seemed to be more impossibly monotonous from the last. I suppose this****_was_********my form of sleep – if sleep was defined in the inert state between active periods. I stared at the cracks running through the plaster in the far corner of the cafeteria, imagining patterns into them that were not there. It was one way to tune out the voices that babbled like the gush of a river inside my head.**

**Several hundred of these voices I ignored out of boredom. When it came to the human mind, I'd heard it all before and then some. Today, all thoughts were consumed with the trivial drama of a new addition to the small student body here. It took so little to work them all up. I'd seen the new face repeated in thought after thought from every angle. Just an ordinary human girl. The excitement over her arrival was tiresomely predictable – like flashing a shiny object at a child Half the sheep-like males were already imagining themselves in love with her, just because she was new to look at. I tried hard to tune them out.**

"Wow you really didn't like school before I came along. Do I even want to know what they were thinking?"

"Not really. Although something tells me that you're going to find out anyways."

"Dude seriously, that's no way to talk about your wife and mate."

"Shut up Emmett or I'll have Rosalie shut you up for me."

"Fine. You're no fun."

Turning my focus back to the book in my hand, I tried to block out Emmett's incisive commentary. This book was important not just to the family but especially to me. For over a year and half I'd been eager to know what was going through Edward's mind and now I got the chance I wasn't going to let Emmett's jokes get in the way of that.

**Only four voices did I block out of courtesy rather than distaste: my family, my two brothers and two sisters, who were so used to the lack of privacy in my presence that they rarely gave it a thought. I gave them what privacy I could. I tried not to listen if I could help it. Try as I may, still…I knew. Rosalie was thinking as usual, about herself. She'd caught sight of her profile in the reflection off someone's glasses, and she was mulling over her own perfection. Rosalie's mind was a shallow pool with few surprises.**

"Jerk."

"Was I wrong?

"Well no…"

"Well then."

"Children enough let Bella read."

"Sorry Mom." Edward and Rose mumbled together.

**Emmett was fuming over a wrestling match he'd lost to Jasper during the night. It would take all his limited patience to make it to the end of the school day to orchestrate a rematch. I never really felt intrusive bearing Emmett's thoughts, because he never thought one thing that he would not say aloud or put into action. Perhaps I only felt guilty reading the others' minds because I knew there were things there that they wouldn't want me to know. If Rosalie's mind was a shallow pool, then Emmett's were a lake with no shadows, glass clear. And Jasper was… suffering. I supressed a sigh.**

Tears filled my eyes as I realised just how depressed Edward had been before I came into his life, completing him. In comparison I'd hardly had to wait any amount of time. I couldn't imagine how much pain he must have suffered having to wait over 90 years to find me and become whole finally. Watching as his family found their mates, wondering if he would ever find his mate. Suddenly I felt familiar cold hands rubbing across my stomach lightly.

"You okay, love."

"Mm it just hurts to know you've had to suffer for so long and I've not waited very long as all."

"Ssh Bella, this is how it was meant to be. What matters now is that we have each other. We have forever."

"O-okay. Sorry dumb emotions."

**_Edward._********Alice called my name in her head, and had my attention at once. It was just the same as having my name called aloud. I was glad my given name had fallen out of style lately – it had been annoying; anytime anyone thought of my Edward, my head would turn automatically… My head didn't turn now. Alice and I were good at these private conversations. It was rare that anyone caught us. I kept my eyes on the lines in the plaster.**

**_How is he holding up?_********she asked me.**

**I frowned, just a small change in the set of my mouth. Nothing that would tip the others off. I could easily be frowning out of boredom. Alice's mental tone was alarmed now, and I saw in her mind that she was watching Jasper in her peripheral vision.****_Is there any danger?_********She searched ahead, into the immediate future, skimming through visions of monotony for the source behind my frown. I turned my head slowly to the left, as if looking at the bricks of the wall, sighed, and then to the right, back to the cracks in the ceiling. Only Alice knew I was shaking my head.**

**_Let me know if it gets too bad._**

**I moved only my eyes, up to the ceiling above, and back down.**

**_Thanks for doing this._**

"Jeez thanks for the confidence in me Ali,"

"I'm sorry Jazzy, I knew you hadn't fed for a few weekend I was worried. I know you won't hurt anyone."

"You're forgiven Darlin'."

"Whipped. That's what you are."

"What and you aren't?"

I couldn't help but giggle at their antics. I'd always wanted a brother when I was growing up, now I had two for the price of one. Although I did wish that Emmett would act more like an adult than a five year old at times I wouldn't have it any other way. After all, for all Emmett's innuendos and jokes, Jasper's intellect counteracted the stupidity caused by my bear of a brother.

**I was glad I couldn't answer her aloud. What would I say? 'My pleasure'? It was hardly that. I didn't enjoy listening to Jasper's struggles. Was it really necessary to experiment like this? Wouldn't the safer path be to just admit that he might never be able to handle the thirst the way the rest of us could, not to push his limits? Why flirt with disaster? It had been two weeks since our last hunting trip. That was not an immensely difficult time span for the rest of us. A little uncomfortable occasionally – if a human, walked too close, if the wind blew the wrong way. But humans rarely walked too close. Their instincts told them what their conscious minds would never understand we were dangerous.**

**Jasper was very dangerous right now.**

I felt Edward stiffen underneath me; I hated to see him in distress. Reaching up slowly I ran my fingers through his soft bronze hair feeling him instantly calm down at my touch. His golden eyes were locked with Jasper's and I could see the pain and agony in his eyes. Continuing to run my fingers through his hair, I knew this was hard for him, especially after everything that had happened on my 18th birthday. Wrapping my arm around his waist, I slid my hand up his shirt, placing my hand lightly on his bare back, feeling the tension leave his body.

"Jasper I'm sorry."

"Edward don't. You were looking out for me. You don't have to apologise for that."

"I was very bitter back then. I was jealous. I guess now I see what you went through."

""Eddie stop being so sappy I want to hear what happens next."

"Don't call me Eddie."

**At that moment, a small girl paused at the end of the closest table to ours, stopping to talk to a friend. She tossed her short, sandy hair, running her fingers through it. The heaters blew her scent in our direction. I was used to the way that scent made me feel – the dry ache in my throat, the hollow yearn in my stomach, the automatic tightening of my muscles, the excess flow of venom in my mouth… I kicked his chair. He met my gaze for a minute, and then looked down. I could hear shame and rebellion war in his head.**

"**Sorry," Jasper muttered.**

**I shrugged.**

"**You weren't going to do anything," Alice murmured to him, soothing his chagrin. "I could see that."**

**I fought back the grimace that would give her away. We had to stick together, Alice and I. It wasn't easy hearing voices or seeing visions of the future. Both freaks a month those who were already freaks. We protected each other's secrets.**

"**It helps a little if you think of them as people," Alice suggested, her high musical voice too fast for the humans ears to understand, if any had been close enough to hear. "Her name is Whitney. She has a baby sister she adores. Her mother invited Esme to that garden party, do you remember?"**

"**I know who she is," Jasper said curtly. He turned away to stare out one of the small windows that were spread just under the eaves around the living room. His tone ended the conversation. He would have to hunt tonight It was ridiculous to take risks like this, trying to test his strength, to build his endurance. Jasper should just accept his limitations and work within them. His former habits were not conductive to our chosen lifestyle; he shouldn't push himself in this way.**

"Dude I always knew you were depressed, but I didn't know it was to this degree."

"How would you like it if you had to wait over 90 years to meet Rose? Had to watch as year after year went by and your family slowly found their mates and still I was on my own. Until Bella came along I felt like I was destined to be alone."

"Guess you have a point there."

I know you want to keep things light but just think of it this way. How would you feel if someone wrote about your thoughts? I know I hear them but I've never publicly voiced them."

"Emmett?"

"Yea lil sis?"

"One more joke comes out of your mouth about Edward, and I'll make sure Rose does some permanent damage to that Jeep you love so much."

"You wouldn't?"

"Don't push me Emmett Cullen."

"She's serious Emmett I've seen it."

"Spoil all my fun."

"You'll get over it."

"Can we please get back to the book?"

"Sorry Rose."

"Not your fault Bells."

**Alice sighed silently and stood, taking her tray of food – her prop, as it were – with her and leaving him alone. She knew when he'd had enough of her encouragement. Though Rosalie and Emmett were more flagrant about their relationship, it was Alice and Jasper who knew each other's every mood as well as their own. As if they could read minds, too – only just each other's.**

**_Edward Cullen._**

**Reflex reaction. I turned to the sound of my name being called, though it wasn't being called, just thought. My eyes locked for a small portion of a second with a pair of wide, chocolate brown human eyes set in a pale, heart-shaped face. I knew the face, though I'd never seen it myself before this moment. It had been foremost in every human head today. The new student, Isabella Swan. Daughter of the town's chief of police, brought to live here by some new custody situation. Bella. She'd corrected every who'd used her full name…**

I blushed tomato red as Edward's first thoughts of me were revealed. Burying my head into his chest I pushed my flaming cheek against Edward's cool chest. Taking a deep breath out I managed to calm myself down looking into Edward's golden eyes. All I saw there was a look of love, and adoration. Suddenly I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. Resting my hand against my stomach, I couldn't help but smile at the thought of the day that our baby would be born.

"I love you Mr Cullen."

"I love you too Mrs Cullen."

"For God's Sake Bella come on would you just tell them the news?"

Everyone suddenly turned their attention toward us. I swear I'm going to kill Alice. It wasn't her place to blurt out our secret. I knew she could see it all but it's one thing seeing it and a completely different story when you practically tell everyone. Sighing I looked into Esme's eyes as I tried to find the right words. Looking back into Edward's eyes again I smiled before turning toward the family. This was one of the biggest things that we would ever reveal to the family and I felt even more nauseated at the reaction.

"While we were on honeymoon Edward and I found out some news."

"What news is that sweetheart?"

"I'm pregnant."

"That's wonderful news."

"Thanks Mom."

"Woo. You finally popped Eddie boy's cherry."

Glancing over at Rose, my eyes said everything they needed to as I pleaded with her to slap Emmett, as much as I loved my big brother, there were certain things that he needed to realise were not acceptable. Making fun of our love life was one of them. Snuggling into Edward's chest I giggled hearing a thump as Rose's hand made contact with the back of Emmett's head. Pulling my head out of Edward's chest I looked over at Emmett raising my eyebrow slightly.

"I warned you."

"Spoil Sport."

"Jerk."

"Children please."

"Sorry Mom."

"Not your fault Bella."

**I looked away, bored. It took me a second to realise that she had not been the one to think my name.**

**_Of course she's already crushing on the Cullens._********I heard the first thought continue. Now I recognised the 'voice'. Jessica Stanley – it had been a while since she'd bothered me with her internal chatter. What a relief it had been when she'd gotten over her misplaced infatuation. It used to nearly impossible to escape her constant, ridiculous daydreams. I'd wished, at the time, that I could explain to her****_exactly_********what would have happened if my lips, and the teeth behind them, had gotten anywhere near her. That would have silenced those annoying fantasies. The thought of her reaction almost made me smile.**

**_Fat lot of good it will do her,_********Jessica went on.****_She's really not even that pretty. I don't know why Eric is staring so much… or Mike._**

"Wow she really played me. I thought she was my friend."

"I'm sorry, love."

"It's not your fault. I should have known after…"

"After what?"

"Doesn't matter it will no doubt be in one of the other books."

"As long as you're sure."

"I am. Let's just get this chapter done so that I can sleep."

"Alright."

**She winced mentally on the last name. Her new infatuation, the generically popular Mike Newton, was completely oblivious to her. Apparently, he was not as oblivious to the new girl. Like the child with the shiny new object again. This put a mean edge to Jessica's thoughts, though she was outwardly cordial to the newcomer as she explained to her the community held knowledge about my family. The new student must have asked about us.**

**_Everyone's looking at me today, too,_********Jessica thought smugly in an aside.****_Isn't it lucky Bella had two classes with me…I'll bet Mike will want to ask me what she's –_****I tried to block the inane chatter out of my head before the petty and the trivial could drive me mad.**

"**Jessica Stanley is giving the new Swan girl all the dirty laundry on the Cullen clan," I murmured to Emmett as a distraction. He chuckled under his breath.****_I hope she's making it good,"_********he thought.**

"**Rather unimaginative, actually. Just the barest hint of scandal. Not an ounce of horror. I'm a little disappointed."**

**_And the new girl? Is she disappointed in the gossip as well?_**

**I listened to hear what this new girl, Bella, thought of Jessica's story. What did she see when she looked at the strange, chalky-skinned family that was universally avoided? It was sort of my responsibility to know her reaction. I acted as a lookout, for lack of a better word, for my family. To protect us. If anyone ever grew suspicious. I could give us early warning and an easy retreat. It happened occasionally – some humans with an active imagination would see in us the characters of a book or a movie. Usually they got it wrong, but it was better to move somewhere new than to risk scrutiny.**

"Edward did you… …when you looked at me. Did you really hate me?"

"No sweet girl. I loved you from the moment my eyes met yours. I was just scared."

"I guess we'll find out am I right?"

"You are."

"Love you."

"Love you too sweetheart."

2Enough of the lovey dovey crap I want to know what happens."

"Um Emmett. You already know."

"Oh yea."

**Very, very rarely, someone would guess right. We didn't give them a chance to test their hypothesis. We simply disappeared, to become no more than a frightening memory… I heard nothing, though I listened close beside where Jessica's frivolous internal monologue continued to gush. It was as if there was no one sitting beside her. How peculiar, had the girl moved? That didn't seem likely, as Jessica was still babbling to her. I looked up to check, feeling off balance. Checking on what my extra 'hearing' could tell me – it wasn't something I ever had to do.**

**Again, my gaze locked on those same wide brown eyes. She was sitting right where she had been before, and looking at us, a natural thing to be doing, I supposed, as Jessica was still regaling her with the local gossip about the Cullens. Thinking about us, too, would be natural. But I couldn't hear a whisper.**

"I'm sorry I made you worry."

"You don't have to apologise."

"It's because you couldn't hear my thoughts that you second guessed my feelings for you."

"Yes."

"Well I fell in love with you just as strongly as you did me. You were and still are in my every thought."

"That's good to know."

"Silly vampire."

Suddenly my stomach growled as I felt my cheeks instantly burning. Before I could ask Esme was up from her seat and already in the kitchen, making me something to eat. The nausea seemed to have settled down for now, I only hoped that it stayed that way. Resting my head back against Edward's chest I let out a breath as I suddenly thought about the pain I'd put Jake through, he probably hated me. After all I was the enemy now. I wasn't technically a vampire yet but I was still a Cullen. Wiping away the traitor tears, I tried to hide my sudden mood change; however I knew that Edward wasn't fooled.

"He doesn't hate you."

"Really?"

"Really. He's not mad at you or us anymore, just lonely."

"I hope he finds someone to love soon."

"Maybe the books will tell us."

"Mm."

Esme came back into the room handing me the plate of sandwiches. I smiled brightly as I saw the egg mayo inside the slices of bread sliding off Edward's lap onto the floor resting against his legs as I started to eat. As I looked around the room, I couldn't help feel special, and loved. Not only was I going to give Edward the child he had yearned for. I was going to filling a hole in a Rosalie's heart and that meant more to me than anything else that we had to face. Whilst I ate I handed the book to Edward to continue the chapter.

**Inviting warm red stained her cheeks as she looked down, away from the embarrassing gaffe of getting caught staring at a stranger. It was good that Jasper was still gazing out the window. I didn't like to imagine what that easy pooling of blood would do to his control. The emotions had been as clear on her face as if they were spelled out in words across her forehead: surprise, as she unknowingly absorbed the signs of the subtle differences between her kind and mine, curiosity, as she listened to Jessica's tale and something more…fascination?**

"Actually I was trying hard not to make it obvious that I liked you. I guess I failed miserably at that."

"You had my heart from the first moment I saw you, I just wish I hadn't been so scared."

"Edward, I understand if the roles had been reversed I would probably have been petrified of hurting you too. You were not just falling in love; you were dealing with your thirst. I can't blame you for that. There's nothing to forgive. Just like there's nothing to forgive Rose for, you were both protective of your family. I was a newcomer into all of your lives. All that matters now is that we're together and we're going to have a baby. I love you."

"Love you too, sweetheart."

**It wouldn't be the first time. We were beautiful to them, our intended prey. Then, finally, embarrassment as I caught her staring at me. And yet, though her thoughts had been so clear in her odd eyes – odd, because of the depth of them; brown eyes often seemed flat in their darkness – I could hear nothing but the silence from the place she was sitting. Nothing at all. I felt a moment of unease. This was nothing I'd ever encountered before. Was there something wrong with me? I felt exactly the same as I always did. Worried, I listened harder. All the voices I'd been blocking out were suddenly shouting in my head.**

…**_wonder what music she likes… maybe I could mention that new CD…_********Mike Newton was thinking, two tables away – fixated on Bella Swan.**

**_Look at him staring at her. Isn't it enough that he has half the girls in school waiting for him to…_********Eric Yorkie was thinking sulphurous thoughts, also revolving around the girl.**

"The girl?"

"I'm sorry, love."

"You're forgiven."

Pushing the plate away, I stood up sliding back onto Edward's lap nuzzling my head into his chest, resting my hand over my stomach. Hearing Edward's thoughts the first time he saw me was something I never thought I'd get to hear, and now I was I felt excited. To hear the beginning of our relationship through his eyes was the best gift anyone could get me. Wrapping my free arm around his waist I buried my head into the crook of his neck.

"Bella do you want to go to bed. We can continue this tomorrow."

"No I want to hear the end of this chapter. I like hearing your thoughts."

"Alright but if you get to the point where your unable to keep your eyes open I'm stopping."

"Alright that's fair I guess."

…**_so disgusting. You'd think she was famous or something… Even Edward Cullen, staring…_********Lauren Mallory was so jealous that her face, by all rights, should be dark jade in colour.****_And Jessica, flaunting her new best friend. What a joke…_********Vitriol continued to spew from the girl's thoughts.**

…**_I bet everyone has asked her that. But I'd like to talk to her. I'll think of a more original question…_********Ashley Dawson mused.**

…**_maybe she'll be in my Spanish…_********June Richardson hoped.**

…**_tons left to do tonight! Trig, and English test. I hope my mom…_********Angela Weber, a quiet girl, whose thoughts were unusually kind, was the only one at the table who wasn't obsessed with this Bella.**

"I miss Angela."

"I know you do. You've been talking in your sleep."

"Maybe…. …no it doesn't matter."

"What were you going to say?"

"Well I still email her you know that, but I was wondering if it were possible for me to keep her in my life. At least for a little but longer."

"I don't see why not."

"Alice do you see it being a problem?"

"No. We can trust Angela. I don't see that keeping her and Ben in your life will hurt. She's trustworthy."

"That settles it then."

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me, love."

**I could hear them all, hear every insignificant thing they were thinking as it passed through their minds. But nothing at all from the new student with the deceptively communicative eyes. And, of course, I could hear what the girl said when she spoke to Jessica. I didn't have to read minds to be able to hear her low, clear voice on the far side of the long room.**

"**Which one is the boy with the reddish brown hair?"**

**I heard her ask, sneaking a look at me from the corner of her eye, only to look quickly away when she saw that I was still staring. If I'd had time to hope that hearing the sound of her voice would help me pinpoint the tone of her thoughts, lost somewhere where I couldn't access them in a similar pitch as their physical voice. But this quiet, shy voice was unfamiliar, not one of the hundreds of thoughts bouncing around the room. I was sure of that. Entirely new.**

**_Oh, good luck, idiot!_********Jessica thought before answering the girl's question.**

"**That's Edward. He's gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him." she sniffed.**

**I turned my head away to hide my smile. Jessica and her classmates had no idea how lucky they were that none of them particularly appealed to me. Beneath the transient humour, I felt a strange impulse, one I did not understand. It had something to do with the vicious edge to Jessica's thoughts that the new girl was unaware of… I felt the strangest urge to step in between them, to shield Bella Swan from the darker workings of Jessica's mind. What an odd thing to feel. Trying to ferret out of the motivations behind the impulse, I examined the new girl one more time.**

"Wait, you felt that as well."

It was Carlisle who answered instead of Edward. Pulling my head out from the crook of Edward's neck, smiling at my father in law.

"Bella what do you mean?"

"When I was looking over at him and Jessica was saying those things. I felt the urge to punch her. Every part of me wanted to go over to him and protect him but I didn't know why I was feeling like that."

"Fascinating."

"What is it?"

"That's part of the mating bond."

"Wow."

"My Bella, you are full of surprises."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

**Perhaps it was just some long buried protective instinct – the strong for the weak. The girl looked more fragile than her new classmates. Her skin was so translucent it was hard to believe it offered her much defence from the outside world. I could see the rhythmic pulse of blood through her veins under the clear, pale membrane… But I should not concentrate on that. I was good at this life I'd chosen, but I was just as thirsty as Jasper and there was no point in inviting temptation. There was a faint crease between her eyebrows that she seemed unaware of. It was unbelievably frustrating! I could clearly see that it was a strain for her to sit there, to make conversation with strangers, to be the centre of attention. I could sense her shyness from the way she held her frail-looking shoulders, slightly hunched, as if she was expecting a rebuff at any moment. And yet I could only see, could only imagine. There was nothing but silence from the unexceptional human girl. I could hear nothing. Why?**

Suddenly I realised why. I didn't know why it had taken us so long to figure out. Edward couldn't hear my thoughts, Aro wasn't able to hear my every thought, and Jane's ability was useless on me; however I'd clearly seen it work on Edward. No matter how long I lived I'd never be able to get that image out of my head. Biting on my lip I gazed into Edward's honey golden eyes trying to find the right words to tell him. I knew it would put his mind at ease after nearly 2 years trying to figure it out.

"I know why you can't hear my thoughts."

"What? How can you?"

"Think about it Edward. You can't hear my thoughts; Aro couldn't get inside my head, nor Jane. I blocked all of them. I'm a shield. I'm almost certain that if I concentrated on it I could find a physical shield as well as a mental one. Not only that but I think with practice I could probably push it back and let you into my thoughts."

"Carlisle is this… …is she right?"

"I think she's right, son. It makes perfect sense now. Of course I wouldn't want her to test it out while she's pregnant."

"Wow."

"Want me to read again while it sinks in."

"No I'm alright."

"**Shall we?" Rosalie murmured, interrupting my focus.**

**I looked away from the girl with a sense of relief. I didn't want to continue to fail at this – it irritated me. And I didn't want to develop any interest in her hidden thoughts simply because they were hidden from me. No doubt, when I did decipher her thoughts – and I****_would_********find a way to do so – they would be just as petty and trivial as any human's thoughts. Not worth the effort I would expect to reach.**

"How's that working out for you so far?" I narrowed my eyes feeling hurt that he could ever think something like that.

"Well… I… …um."

"Edward she's feeling hurt right now."

"Can you excuse us a second?"

Before anyone could reply Edward picked me up gently rushing to the third floor closing our bedroom door. Looking at my feet I suddenly found the bedroom carpet interesting. Suddenly I felt familiar cool fingers lifting my chin up to meet his eyes. I knew I was being stupid, that it was just the effect of my emotions. I felt stupid for reacting the way I had done.

"Bella please remember these thoughts were from nearly 2 years ago, when I was lost and confused. I had all these feelings going through me that I didn't understand."

"I know, because I was feeling the same emotions. I've never felt the way I feel about you for anyone. I wish I'd been more confident in myself to approach you."

"I'm glad we got these books. We can't go back but we can move forward and remember what not to do."

"That's true I guess."

"Silly Bella."

"Stupid pregnancy hormones. Let's go and finish the rest of this chapter."

"Alright."

Soon we were back in the living room, Edward holding the book in his hand again. Even though it had been my turn to read I had started to realise that he rather liked reading out his own thoughts to me. I only hoped I would feel the same way when the time came for us to read my thoughts. Snuggling my head back into the crook of Edward's neck I instantly relaxed. Edward's arms wrapped around my waist resting on my stomach as he rubbed our baby through my skin. I knew the next part of the story was going to be incredibly hard for both of us.

"**So is the new one afraid of us yet?" Emmett asked, still waiting for my response to his question before. I shrugged. He wasn't interested enough to press for more information. Nor should I be interested. We got up from the table and walked out of the cafeteria. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper were pretending to be seniors; they left for their classes. I was playing a younger role than they were. I headed off for my junior level biology class, preparing my mind for the tedium. It was doubtful Mr Banner, a man of no more than average intellect, would manage to pull out anything in his lecture that would surprise someone holding two graduate degrees in medicine. In the classroom, I settled into my chair and let my books – props, again, they held nothing I didn't already know – spill across the table. I was the only student who had a table to himself. The humans weren't smart enough to****_know_********they feared me, but their survival instincts were enough to keep them away.**

**The room slowly filled as they trickled in from lunch. I leaned back in my chair and waited for the time to pass. Again, I wished I was able to sleep. Because I'd been thinking about her, when Angela Weber escorted the new girl through the door, her name intruded on my attention.****_Bella seems just as shy as me. I'll bet today is really hard for her. I wish I could say something… but it would probably just sound stupid…_**

**_Yes!_********Mike Newton thought, turning in his seat to watch the girls' enter. Still, from the place where Bella Swan stood, nothing. The empty space where his thoughts should be irritated and unnerved me. She came closer, walking down the aisle beside me to get to the teacher's desk. Poor girl, the seat next to me was the only one available. Automatically, I cleared what would be her side of the desk; shoving my books into a pile. I doubted she would feel very comfortable there. She was in for a long semester – in this class, at least. Perhaps, though, sitting beside her I'd be able to flush out her secrets… not that I'd ever needed close proximity before…not that I would find anything worth listening to…**

"Du-."

"Emmet I swear you better not say what you're about to. This part is incredibly difficult for him to read. It's probably going to be hard for us to hear especially me. So before you make some idiotic comment think about how you would feel if your most private thoughts about your thirst were published. And shut up."

"Fine."

Slowly I moved my hand up Edward's shirt as the tension left his body.

**Bella Swan walked into the flow of the heated air that blew toward me from the vent. Her scent hit me like a wrecking ball, like a battering ram. There was no image violent enough to encapsulate the force of what happened to me in that moment. In that instant, I was nothing close to the human I'd once been, no trace of the shreds of humanity I'd managed to cloak myself in remained. I was a predator. She was my prey. There was nothing else in the whole world but that truth. There was a room full of witnesses- they were collateral damage in my head. The mystery of her thoughts were forgotten. Her thoughts meant nothing, for she would not go on thinking much longer. I was a vampire, and she had the sweetest blood I'd smelled in eighty years. I hadn't imagined such a scent could exist. If I'd known it did, I would have gone searching for it long ago. I would have combed the planet for her. I could imagine the taste…**

"Oh Edward, I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry my Bella. You're my life now."

"As your mine my Edward."

"Son, we can skip this part if you'd wish."

"No it's alright Carlisle."

"Alright."

**Thirst burned through my throat like fire. My mouth was baked and desiccated. The fresh flow of venom did nothing to dispel that sensation. My stomach twisted with the hunger that was an echo of the thirst. My muscles coiled to spring. Not a full second had passed. She was still taking the same step that had put her downwind of mine. As her foot touched the ground, her eyes slid toward me, a movement she clearly meant to be stealthy. Her glance met mine, and I saw myself reflected in the wind mirror of her eyes. The shock of the face I saw there saved her life for a few thorny moments. She didn't make it easier. When she processed the expression on my face, blood flooded her cheeks again, turning her skin the most delicious colour I'd ever seen. The scent was a thick haze in my brain. I could barely think through it. My thoughts raged, resisting control, incoherent.**

**She walked more quickly now, as if she understood the need to escape. Her haste made her clumsy – she tripped and stumbled forward, almost falling into the girl seated in front of me. Vulnerable, weak. Even more than usual for a human. I tried to focus on the face I'd seen in her eyes, a face I recognised with revision. The face of the monster in me – the face I'd beaten back with decades of effort and uncompromising discipline. How easily it sprang to the surface now!**

Pulling my head out of Edward's neck I looked at Alice and Rosalie for assistance. I knew if I hit Edward myself all it would result in was me being injured. Before I could open my mouth, Alice and Rose were on their feet, standing either side of us in an instant, I heard two loud thumps as they smacked Edward across the head at the same time.

"Oww. What was that for?"

"That was for Bella. She'd break her hand if she tried."

"NEVER call yourself a monster. Do you hear me Edward Cullen?"

"But Bella that…"

"No! A monster couldn't love me the way you do. A monster couldn't love our baby the way you do. You are my everything. Hearing this, how much you controlled yourself when you were in so much pain. It only makes me love you more than I already do."

"Incredible. You really mean that."

"Of course I do. Promise me despite what is in these books you stop thinking of yourself as a monster."

"I promise."

"Good. Now continue."

"Anything for you my love."

**The scent swirled around me again, scattering my thoughts; an nearly propelling me out of my seat. No. My hand gripped under the edge of the table as I tried to hold myself in my chair. The wood was not up to the task. My hand crushed through the strut and came away with a palmful of splintered pulp, leaving the shape of my fingers carved into the remaining wood. Destroy evidence. That was a fundamental rule. I quickly pulverized the edges of the shape with my fingertips, leaving nothing but a ragged hole and a pile of shavings on the floor, which I scattered with my foot.**

"Edward can we stop for the night. I'm tired."

"Of course we can, love. I'm surprised you managed to stay awake this long.

"I was enjoying hearing your thoughts."

"Come on then Mrs Cullen."

Resting my head against Edward's chest I heard the book thud against the coffee table before he stood up to carry me up to our room. By the time he reached the third floor I was already asleep. I could feel Edward undress me slipping one of his t shirts over my head. I was too far gone to open my eyes; it had been a long day. The minute I could feel the bed sink slightly I rolled onto my side resting my head against Edward's chest, where I fell into a deep sleep. Tomorrow was another day, I was suddenly glad we didn't have school anymore, this way we could get through the books quicker. For now I was in my husband's arms, carrying our child under my heart, everything I ever hoped and dreamed for was finally coming true. Our happily ever after.

* * *

**The Next Morning**

Once morning came, it didn't take long for me to find myself bent over the porcelain god again. I could hear the rest of the family downstairs getting ready to begin reading the books. Thankfully I'd been awake long enough to get dressed before I'd started to feel nauseous. Finally, my stomach settled down as I managed to regain control over myself. Exiting the bathroom I smiled noticing that Edward had left me a glass of water by my side of the bed which I gratefully gulped down. A couple of minutes later we were all gathered in the living room again ready to continue reading the first chapter of Midnight Sun.

"Alright if everyone's ready then I'll start reading."

"Before we start, Bella would you like some breakfast?"

"Not just yet thank you. I'm still really nauseous."

"Alright sweetheart. Just ask if you change your mind."

"I will."

"We're ready now."

**Destroy the evidence. Collateral damage…**

**I knew what had to happen now. The girl would have to come sit beside me, and I would have to kill her. The innocent bystanders in this classroom, eighteen other children and one man, could not be allowed to leave this room, having seen what they would soon see. I flinched at the thought of what I must do. Even at my very worst, I had never committed this kind of atrocity. I had never killed innocents; not in over eight decades. And now I planned to slaughter twenty of them at once. The face of the monster in the mirror mocked me. Even as part of me shuddered away from the monster, another part was planning it. If I killed the girl first, I would have only fifteen or twenty seconds with her before the humans in the room would react. Maybe a little longer, if at first they did not realise what I was doing. She would not have time to scream or feel pain; I would not kill her cruelly. That much I could give this stranger with her horribly desirable blood.**

**But then I would have to stop them from escaping. I wouldn't have to worry about the window, too high up and small to provide an escape for anyone. Just the door – block that and they were trapped. It would be slower and more difficult, trying to take them all down when they were panicked and scrambling, moving in chaos. Not impossible, but there would be much more noise. Time for lots of screaming. Someone would hear…and I'd be forced to kill even more innocents in this black hour. And her blood would cool while I murdered the others.**

"Edward I… …both of you…"

"Rose you don't have to apologise. Like Bella said you were protecting your family."

"I know but still I should have known."

"What do you mean?"

"There's a reason why I dragged Emmett 100 miles for Carlisle to save him. The reason why I couldn't just turn him then and there myself."

"Rose what are you trying to tell us?"

"Everything you experienced with Bella. Her blood, her scent. It's how I felt when I saw Emmett. I was terrified if I tried to change him myself that I wouldn't be able to stop."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I was scared. I was still dealing with what happened. Emmett was my singer, just like Bella's yours. You have to change her. It was never about choice. I get it now. I'm sorry."

"You didn't need to apologise however I'm glad we understand each other a little better."

"So am I. Please continue."

**The scent punished me, closing my throat with dry aching…**

**So the witnesses first then. I mapped it out in my head. I was in the middle of the room, the furthest now in the back. I would take my right side first. I could snap four or five of their necks per second, I estimated. It would not be noisy. The right side would be the lucky side; they would not see me coming. Moving around the front and back up the left side, it would take me, at most, five seconds to end every life in this room. Long enough for Bella Swan to see, briefly, what was coming for her. Long enough for her not to feel fear.**

I couldn't help but giggle at the irony.

"You know you're never going to get me to be scared of you. All I feel with you is safe."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Now. Sorry for interrupting."

"You're forgiven."

"Hey! How come she can interrupt but when I do I get hit."

"Because this is about her and Edward. Honestly Emmett do you have a brain in your head."

"Rosie. I'm hurt you would say that."

"Am I lying?"

"Well no at times I guess I can be dumb."

"At times?"

"I've said it once I'll say it again. You're no fun none of you."

"Aww poor baby. Tough."

"Aww lil sis not you too."

"Okay I'll make a deal with you. If you behave yourself through the books. I'll let you come hunting with Edward and I once it's time for my change. You can catch me a bear."

"Deal."

"Esme I'll have something to eat now if you don't mind."

"That's fine sweetheart. What would you like?"

"Omelette please."

"One omelette coming up."

As Esme left the room to make my breakfast, Edward focused on the book again, running y hand up his back gently I felt the tension disappear from his body. I didn't want him to feel bad again for something he couldn't control. Once he'd managed to compose himself again, he started to read again. His velvety voice comforting me just like it always did.

**Long enough, maybe, if shock didn't freeze her in some place, for her to work up a scream. One soft scream that would not bring anyone running. I took a deep breath, and the scent was a fire that raced through my dry veins, burning out from my chest to consume every better impulse that I was capable of. She was just turning now. In a few seconds, she would sit down inches away from me. The monster in my head smiled in anticipation. Someone slammed shut a folder on my left. I didn't look up to see which of the doomed humans it was. But the motion sent a wave of ordinary, unscented air wafting across my face. For one short second, I was able to think clearly. In that precious second, I saw two faces in my head side by side.**

I couldn't help the tears that were falling freely from my face. I'd always wanted to know what Edward was thinking the first time I saw him in Biology, yet now I was beginning to wish I hadn't. Hearing how much he had to struggle because of me. Because of how I smelled to him. It broke my heart. Cold finger traced my face as I looked into his soft golden eyes. I smiled slightly at him letting out a deep breath. I didn't want to make him sad. Hearing his struggle along with pregnancy hormones was definitely not a good mix.

"I'm sorry I'm just being silly."

"No you're not. What's upsetting you?"

"Just… …hearing how much my scent affects you. I wish I could find my shield so I could block my scent enough so you don't suffer."

"Oh my Bella. How long has this been on your mind?"

"A while. But now I know for certain I'm a shield along with hearing it."

"I understand. But I promise you Bella it doesn't bother me anymore. My throat still burns but it's a lot manageable."

"Oh."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

Just then Esme came back in with my omelette handing me the plate. Reluctant to move from my comfortable position on Edward's lap I balanced the plate on my legs tucking into my breakfast as Edward continued to read. I didn't have to be a mind reader to know that Edward being able to show me what his thoughts were during the early stages of our relationship pleased him. Just the insecure teenager inside him was worried something would still even though we were married and with a baby on the way, would make me run away screaming as he put it.

**One was mine, or rather had been: the red eyed monster that had killed so many people that I'd stopped counting the numbers. Rationalised, justified murders. A killer of killers, a killer of other less powerful monsters. It was a good complex; I acknowledged that – deciding who deserved a death sentence. It was a compromise with myself. I had fed on human blood, but only by the lowest of definition. My victims were, in their vicious dark pastimes, barely more human than I was. The other face was Carlisle's.**

"Mine? Why?"

"I'm sure you're about to find out, Dad."

"I guess your right I'll stop talking now."

**There was no resemblance between the two faces. They were bright day and blankest night. There was no reason for there to be a resemblance. Carlisle was not my father in the basic biological sense. We shared no common features. The similarity in our colouring was a product of what we were every vampire had the same ice pale skin. The similarity in the colour of our eyes was another matter – a reflection of a mutual choice. And yet, though there was no basis for a resemblance, I'd imagined that my face had begun to reflect his; to an extent, in the last seventy-odd years that I had embraced his choice and followed in his steps. My features had not changed, but it seemed to me like some of his wisdom had marked my expression, that a little of his compassion could be traced in the shape of my mouth and hints of his patience were evident on my brow.**

"Wow, son I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything; I owe you everything I have now. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologise I understand you wanted to see what was out there."

"Thank you."

"Come on, already stop talking and read."

"Emmett remember our little bet?"

"Fine!"

**All those tiny improvements were lost in the face of the monster. In a few moments, there would be nothing left in me that would reflect the years I'd spent with my creator, my mentor, my father in all the ways that counted. My eyes would glow red as a devil's; all likeness would be lost forever. In my head, Carlisle's kind eyes did not judge me. I knew that he would forgive me for this horrible act that I would do. Because he loved me. Because he thought I was better than I was. And he would still love me, even as I now proved him wrong. Bella Swan sat down in the chair next to me, her movements stiff and awkward – with fear? – and the scent of her blood bloomed in an inexorable cloud around me.**

"You've never scared me and you never will. The sooner you realise that the better."

"Don't worry, love I know that now. You're the very best part of me."

"I'm sorry I interrupted."

"Are you finished with your breakfast?"

"Mm."

Before I could stand up to take my plate into the kitchen, Esme had already taken it from my hands. I couldn't help but giggle at the irony of the situation. I had always been the one to take care of my parents, it still felt strange to be taken care of. However slowly, with reassurance from Edward I was starting to allow myself to believe I deserved to be pampered. Nuzzling my head into Edward's chest I tried to get some skin to skin contact. Edward obviously guessed what I wanted as he undid some of his shirt buttons pulling me closer to his chest.

"That better, love."

"Mm thank you."

"Woo you certainly have taken away the prude in Eddie."

"Emmett shut up. Don't you dare say out loud what you were just thinking?"

"But… …but."

"Emmett I'm hot that's all, why don't you try being pregnant and then you can comment."

"She has you there bro."

"Spoil sport."

**I would prove my father wrong about me. The misery of this fact hurt almost as much as the fire in my throat. I leaned away from her in revulsion – revolted by the monster aching to take her, to ruin the little peace I had in this non-life of mine? Why had this aggravating human ever been born? She would ruin me. I turned my face away from her, as a sudden fierce, unreasoning hatred washed through me. Who _was _this creature? Why me, why now? Why did I have to lose everything just because she happened to choose this unlikely town to appear in? Why had she come here! I didn't want to be the monster! I didn't want to kill this room full of harmless children! I didn't want to lose everything I'd gained in a lifetime of sacrifice and denial! I wouldn't. She couldn't make me. The scent was the problem, the hideously appealing scent of her blood. If there was only some way to resist… if only another gust of fresh air could clear my head.**

**Bella Swan shook out her long, thick, mahogany hair in my direction. Was she insane? It was as if she were encouraging the monster! Taunting him. There was no friendly breeze to blow the smell away from me now. All would soon be lost. No, there was no helpful breeze. But I didn't _have _to breathe. I stopped the flow of air through my lungs; the relief was instantaneous, but incomplete. I still had the memory of the scent in my mind, the taste of it on the back of my tongue. I wouldn't be able to resist even that long. But perhaps I could resist for an hour. One hour. Just enough time to get out of this room full of victims, victims that maybe didn't have to _be_ victims. If I could resist for one short hour.**

**It was an uncomfortable feeling; not breathing. My body did not need oxygen, but it went against my instincts. I relied on scent more than my other senses in times of stress. It led the way to hunt; it was the first warning in case of danger. I did not often come across something as dangerous as I was, but self-preservation was just as strong in my kind as it was in the average human. Uncomfortable, but manageable. More bearable than smelling _her _and not sinking my teeth through that fine, thin, see-through skin to the hot, wet, pulsing –**

"Suddenly I'm really thankful that I didn't demand to know why you hated me so much."

Again it was Carlisle who answered.

"Why do you say that Bella?"

"Well when I saw him leaning away from me and the harsh gaze I thought I'd done something wrong. I'm sure it will be explained when we get to the other books on my thoughts."

"Oh my Bella."

"I know why now. It's not an issue."

"You sure?"

"Positive. Now read before Emmett starts again."

"Hey!"

**An hour! Just one hour. I must not think of the scent, the taste. The silent girl kept her hair between us, leaning forward so that it spilled across her folder. I couldn't see her face, to try to read the emotions in her clear, deep eyes. Was this why she'd tresses fan out between us? To hide those eyes from me? Out of fear? Shyness? To keep her secrets from me?**

"None of those. I didn't want you to see me looking at you. I couldn't help myself."

"Sweeet. She was ogling you bro."

"Aww Emm it seems like you just lost the bet. Sorry no hunting with us for you."

"Aww man."

I giggled.

"Bella, love. You truly loved me from the first moment you saw me?"

"Mm. I thought you didn't like me cos you saw how infatuated I was with you. My every thought was about you."

"I'm an idiot."

"No you're not. You were scared that's understandable."

"Love you."

"Love you too baby."

**My former irritation at being stymied by her soundless thoughts was weak and pale in comparison to the need – and the hate – that possessed me now. For I hated this frail woman-child beside me, hated her with all the fervour with which I clung to my former self, my love for my family, my dreams of being something better than what I was… Hating her, hating how she made me feel – it helped a little. Yes, the irritation I'd felt before was weak, but it, too, helped a little. I clung to any emotion that distracted me from imagining what she would _taste_ like… Hate and irritation. Impatience. Would the hour never pass? And when the hour ended… Then she would walk out of this room. And I would do what? I could introduce myself. _Hello, my name is Edward Cullen. May I walk you to your next class? _She would say yes.**

"Without a doubt I would have."

"Then I'm very glad I left the room before you. I can't survive without you."

"I wouldn't want to live without you. A world where you don't exist is not a world I want to be a part of."

"You amaze me."

**It would be the polite thing to do. Even already fearing me as I suspected she did, she would follow convention and walk beside me. It should be easy enough to lead her in the wrong direction. A spur of the forest reached out like a finger to touch the back corner of the parking lot. I could tell her I'd forgotten a book in the car…**

"Can someone else read please? I can't… I just can't anymore."

"Edward?"

"I'm sorry love, so sorry."

Reaching up I ran my fingers through his hair praying it would calm him. I breathed a sigh of relief when I felt the tension leave his body. I needed to make him see that it was alright. I understood. I decided after this chapter we would take a trip to the meadow to talk things through. Suddenly I heard Jasper's voice.

"I'll read."

"Thank you."

"No need for thanks. Are you ready?"

"Yes?"

I felt Edward's arms snake around my waist as he buried his head into my hair. I knew he was trying to calm himself down. Seeing how upset he was just defined my decision to talk to him privately after we finished the chapter. Resting my hand onto his chest I followed his breathing as my stomach churned slightly. Before I could say anything else Jasper had started to read again.

**Would anyone notice that I was the last person she'd been seen with? It was raining, as usual; two dark raincoats heading the wrong direction wouldn't pique too much interest, or give me away. Except that I was not the only student who was aware of her today – though no one was as blisteringly aware as I was. Mike Newton, in particular, was conscious of every shift in her weight as she fidgeted in her chair – she was uncomfortable so close to me, just as anyone would be, just as I'd experienced before her scent had destroyed all charitable concern. Mike Newton would notice if she left the classroom with me. If I could last an hour, could I last two? I flinched at the pain of the burning. She could go home to an empty house. Police Chief Swan worked a full day. I knew his house, as I knew every house in the town. His home was nestled right up against thick woods, with no close neighbours. Even if she had the time to scream, which she wouldn't, there would be no one to hear.**

**That would be the responsible way to deal with this. I'd gone seven decades without human blood. If I held my breath, I could last two hours. And when I had her alone, there would be no chance of anyone else getting hurt. _And no reason to rush through the experience, _the monster in my head agreed. It was sophistry to think that by saving the nineteen humans in this room with effort and patience, I could be less a monster when I killed this innocent girl.**

**Though I-.**

"Jazz hold on a second."

"What's wrong bro?"

Bella are you feeling sick again?"

"Mm."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want to make a fuss."

"Edward, I think I know what will take away the nausea. Maybe not entirely but more than now."

"What's that love?"

"Blood."

"Blood… …why didn't I think of that?"

"When you were describing your thirst in the book. I um…."

"You what love?"

"I felt thirsty. And my throat burned a little."

"It does make sense son. The baby is part vampire."

Before Edward could react, Alice bounced back into the room with a plastic cup in her hands. I gratefully took it, my throat burning as I smelt the delicious liquid. I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I brought the blood to my lips taking a big gulp. However all the staring soon became uncomfortable but I'd never tell them that. Cool lips kissed my forehead.

"How does it taste to you, love?"

"It tastes good."

"That's wonderful."

"Can we read again now?"

"Of course."

**Though I hated her, I knew my hatred was unjust. I knew that what I really hated was myself. And I would hate us both so much when she was dead. I made it through the house in this way – imagining the best ways to kill her. I tried to avoid imagining the actual _act. _That might be too much for me; I might lose this battle and end up killing everyone in sight. So I planned strategy, and nothing more. It carried me through the hour. Once, toward the very end, she peeked up at me through the fluid wall of her hair. I could feel the unjustified hatred burning out of me as I met her gaze – see the reflection of it in her frightened eyes. Blood painted her cheeks before she could hide in her hair again, and I was nearly undone. But the bell rang. Saved by the bell – how cliché. We were both saved. She was saved from death. I was saved for just a short time from being the nightmarish creature I feared and loathed.**

"When you rushed out so fast you really did give me whiplash."

"I'm sorry I was so rude. If I could go back and change it I would."

"If we could go back I wouldn't have walked in front of the air con/"

"It's in the past. Your scent really doesn't bother me anymore. Especially since we found out your pregnant."

"Bella?"

"What's up Rose?"

"I was wondering… …maybe if you wanted to that is."

"Spit it out."

"I know you don't like shopping but I was wondering after we read the books if you'd like to just the two of us."

"That would be great Rose."

"Hey how come you caved so easily with her but you fight me."

"Because you don't know when to stop and I'm pregnant and get tired quickly."

"Fine."

"I'll play Bella Barbie with you as a compromise."

"Yay."

**I couldn't walk as slowly as I should as I darted from the room. If anyone had been looking at me, they might have suspected that there was something not right about the way I moved. No one was paying attention to me. All human thoughts still swirled around the girl who was condemned to die in a little more than an hour's time. I hid in my car. I didn't like to think of myself having to hide. How cowardly that sounded. But it was unquestionably the case now. I didn't have enough discipline left to be around humans now. Focusing so much of my efforts on not killing _one _of them left me no resources to resist the others. What a waste that would be. If I was to give in to the monster, I might as well make it worth the defeat.**

**I played the CD of music that usually calmed me, but it did little for me now. No, what helped most now was the cool, wet, clean air that drifted with the light rain through my open windows. Though I could remember the scent of Bella Swan's blood with perfect clarity, inhaling the clean air was like washing out the inside of my body from its infection. I was sane again. I could think again. And I could fight again. I could fight against what I didn't want to be. I didn't have to let her go home. I didn't have to kill her. Obviously, I was a rational thinking creature, and I had a choice. There was always a choice.**

"Why do I get the feeling that there is going to be a lot of you hating yourself in this book."

"Because there is. I was very confused back then, I was in love with you, but I didn't want you to have to leave behind everyone you love."

"Your mine and I'm yours, there is nothing else that matters. Yes I'll miss my father and my mother, however I can live without them, I can't live without you, I tried and it nearly killed me."

"Ssh, love you never have to think of that time again."

"Maybe not, but it will be in those books."

"Oh, I didn't think of that."

"Let's just focus on the here and now. We can talk about it later."

"Deal."

"Now you sorted that out. Can we please continue now?"

"Shut up Emmett."

"Moving on."

**It hadn't felt that way in the classroom…but I was away from her now. Perhaps if I avoided her very, very carefully, there was no need for my life to change. I had things ordered that way I liked them now. Why should I let some aggravating and delicious nobody ruin that? I didn't _have _to disappoint my father. I didn't have to cause my mother so much stress, worry…pain. Yes, it would hurt my adopted mother, too. And Esme was so gentle, so tender and soft. Causing someone like Esme pain was truly inexcusable. How ironic that I'd watched to protect this human girl from the paltry, toothless threat of Jessica Stanley's snide thoughts. I was the last person who would ever stand as a protector for Isabella Swan. She would never need protection from anything more than she needed it from me.**

"Oh how wrong you were little bro."

"Tell me about it."

"Edward Cullen are you making fun of your pregnant wife?"

"Of course not sweetheart."

"Dude you are so whipped."

"You trying to say that you're not?"

"Gah! Suddenly I wish Sullen Cullen was back."

"Shut up."

"Fine!"

**Where was Alice, I suddenly wondered? Hadn't she seen me killing the Swan girl in a multitude of ways? Why hadn't she come to help – to stop me or help me clean up the evidence, whatever? Was she so absorbed with watching for trouble with Jasper that she'd missed this much more horrific possibility? Was I stronger than I thought? Would I really not have done anything to the girl?**

"You could never hurt me. Not then, not now, not ever."

"I know that now."

"Good. Just keep on remembering that."

Yes ma'am."

**No. I knew that wasn't true. Alice must be concentrating on Jasper very hard. I searched in the direction I knew she would be, in the small building used for English classes. It did not take me long to locate her familiar 'voice'. And I was right. Her every thought was turned to Jasper, watching his small choices with minute scrutiny. I wished I could ask her advice, but at the same time I was glad she didn't know what I was capable of. That she was unaware of the massacre I had considered in the last hour. I felt a new burn through my body – the burn of shame. I didn't want any of them to know. If I could avoid Bella Swan, if I could manage not to kill her – even as I thought that, the monster writhed and gnashed his teeth in frustration – then no one would have to know. If I could keep away from her scent…**

"How's that working out for you bro?"

"Emmett I swear to god if you don't shut up you'll regret it."

"Oh really. What are you planning? After all you're only human."

"That I may be. But your wife isn't."

"You wouldn't."

"Try my patience just once more and you'll see how serious I am."

"Fine. But I can't promise that I'll be successful."

"Long as you try Emm, now please stop teasing Edward. This is hard enough for him."

"Just trying to lighten the mood."

"I know but this chapter isn't the time."

"Alright."

"Can I read again?"

"Yea sorry Jasper."

"Not your fault."

**There was no reason why I shouldn't try, at least. Make a good choice. Try to be what Carlisle thought I was. The last hour of school was almost over. I decided to put my plan into action at once. Better than sitting here in the parking lot where she might pass me and ruin my attempt. Again, I felt the unjust hatred for the girl. I hated that she had this unconscious power over me. That she could make me something I reviled. I walked swiftly – a little too swiftly, but there were no witnesses – across the tiny campus to the office. There was no reason for Bella Swan to cross paths with me. She would be avoided like the plague she was. The office was empty except for the secretary, the one I wanted to see. She didn't notice my silent entrance.**

"Jeez thanks Edward."

"I'm sorry love. I know I hurt you so very much that day."

"How? I never told you. And you can't read my thoughts."

"By your reaction to me the week I came home. You were so unsure."

"I didn't understand how someone I didn't know could hate me so quickly."

"I need to make up for more than I realised."

"Later. I promise."

"Meadow."

"Where else?"

"**Mrs Cope?"**

**The woman with unnaturally red hair looked up and her eyes widened. It always caught them off guard, the little markers they didn't understand no matter how many times they'd seen one of us before.**

"**Oh," she gasped, a little flustered. She smoothed her shirt. _Silly, _she thought to herself. _He's almost young enough to be my son. Too young to think of that way…_**

"Eww that's just gross."

"Tell me about it, love. Do you want some more blood?"

"Yes please."

Rosalie smiled as she got up taking the cup from my hands. Within seconds she had refilled my cup and it was sitting in my eager hands. Taking in a big gulp, the nausea instantly vanished and I knew I was on the right track. Nuzzling my head back into the crook of his neck I let everything I'd found out from Edward's thought sink in. I always knew how much of a struggle it was for Edward to be close to me, I just didn't realise how much until now. I was brought out of my thoughts by Jasper's voice as he started to read again.

"**Hello, Edward. What can I do for you?"**

**Her eyelashes fluttered behind her thick glasses. Uncomfortable. But I knew how to be charming when I wanted to be. It was easy, since I was able to know instantly how any tone or gesture was taken. I leaned forward to meet her gaze as if I were staring deeply into her depthless, small brown eyes. Her thoughts were already in a flutter. This should be simple.**

"**I was wondering if you could help me with my schedule," I said in the soft voice I reserved for not scaring humans. I heart the tempo of her heart increase.**

"**Of course, Edward. How can I help?" _Too young, too young, _she chanted to herself. Wrong, of course. I was older than her grandfather. But according to my driver's licence she was right.**

"**I was wondering if I could move from my biology class to a senior level science. Physics, perhaps?"**

"**Is there a problem with Mr Banner, Edward?"**

"**No not at all, it's just I've already studied this material…"**

"**In that accelerated school you all went to in Alaska, right."**

**Her thin lips pursed as she considered this. _They should all be in college. I've heard the teachers complain. Perfect four points ohs, never a hesitation with a response, never a hesitation with a response, never a wrong answer on a test – like they've found some way to cheat in every subject. Mr Varner would rather believe that anyone was chatting than think a student was smarter than him… I'll bet their mother tutors them…_**

"**Actually, Edward, physics is pretty much full right now. Mr Banner hates to have more than twenty-five students in a class –."**

"**I wouldn't be any trouble."**

**_Of course not. Not a perfect Cullen. _****"I know that, Edward. But there just aren't enough eats as it is…"**

"**Could I drop the class, then? I could use that period for independent study."**

"Wow you really did want to be away from me."

"I'm sorry."

"No need. I understand why you tried to swap classes. If things were reversed I'd probably have done the same thing."

"You would?"

"Edward, why exactly do you think I went to James so willingly? It wasn't just about protecting my mother. It was about protecting you. I didn't want you to be hurt because of me. Why do you think I willingly travelled to Italy with Alice the minute I found out you planned to go to the Volturi, because without you I'm nothing. I'd face the werewolves and the Volturi combined if it meant you were safe. You have no idea how much I wish I'd gotten to that phone before Jake. So you could hear my voice instead of his. So you could come home instead of thinking I was dead."

"Ssh, love. I'm here now. I'm never going anywhere."

"I know that. But when…"

"When what, love?"

"When you have to go away to hunt. It brings the nightmares back."

"Oh my Bella. We will definitely be talking about this when this chapter is over."

"Okay."

"**Drop biology?" Her mouth fell open. _That's crazy. How hard is it to sit through a subject you already know? There must be a problem with Mr Banner. I wonder if I should talk to Bob about it." _"You won't have enough credits to graduate."**

"**I'll catch up next year."**

"**Maybe you should talk to your parents about it."**

**The door opened behind me, but whoever it was didn't think of me, so I ignored the arrival and concentrated on Mrs Cope. I leaned slightly closer and held my eyes wider. This would work better if they were gold instead of black. The blackness frightened people, as it should.**

"Eww that's just eww…"

"What?"

"You flirted with her to try and switch classes."

"And you didn't flirt with Jake to find out about me."

"That's completely different."

"How so?"

"Because for one Jake is 15 and Mrs Cope is old enough to be his grandmother. It's just weird."

"She has a point."

"I was desperate."

"Clearly." I mumbled.

"**Please, Mrs Cope?" I made my voice as smooth and compelling as it could be – and it could be considerably compelling. "Isn't there some other section I could switch to? I'm sure there has to be an open slow somewhere? Sixth hour biology can't be the only option…" I smiled at her, careful not to flash my teeth so widely that it would scare her, letting the expression soften my face. Her heart drummed faster.**

**_Too young, _****she reminded herself frantically. "Well, maybe I could talk to Bob – I mean Mr Banner. I could see if-."**

**A second was all it took to change everything: the atmosphere in the room, my mission here, the reason I leaned toward the head headed woman… What had been for one purpose before was now for another… A second was all it took Samantha Wells to open the door and place a signed tardy slip in the basket by the door, and hurry out again, in a rush to be away from school. A second was all it took for the sudden gust of wind through the open door to crash into me. A second was all it took for me to realise why that first person through the door had not interrupted me with her thoughts.**

"And then I had to come and ruin it. I should have just gone straight home."

"It's not your fault I ran."

"I always felt like it was."

"We are a right pair aren't we?"

"Hmm."

**I turned, though I did not need to make sure. I turned slowly, fighting to control the muscles that rebelled against me. Bella Swan stood with her back pressed to the wall beside the door, a piece of paper clutched in her hands. Her eyes were even wider than usual as she took in my ferocious, inhuman glare. The smell of her blood saturated every particle of air in the tiny, hot room. My throat burst into flames. The monster glared back at me from the mirror of her eyes again, a mask of evil. My hand hesitated in the air above the counter. I would not have to back in order to reach across and slam Mrs Cope's head into her desk with enough force to kill her. Two lives, rather than twenty. A trade.**

**The monster waited anxiously, hungrily; for me to do it. But there was always a choice – there _had _to be. I cut off the motion of my lungs and fixed Carlisle's face in front of eyes. I turned back to face Mrs Cope, and heard her internal surprise at the surprise in my expression. She shrank away from me, but her fear didn't form into coherent words. Using all the control I'd mustered in my decades of self-denial, I made my voice, even and smooth. There was just enough air left in my lungs to speak once more, rushing through the words.**

"**Never mind then. I can see that it's impossible. Thank you so much for your help."**

**I spun and launched myself from the room, trying not to feel the warm-blooded heat of the girl's body as I passed within inches of it. I didn't stop until I was in my car, moving too fast for the entire way there. Most of the humans had cleared out already, so there weren't a lot of witnesses. I heard a sophomore, D.J Garrett, notice and then disregard… _Where did Cullen come from – it was like he just came out of thin air… There I go, with my imagination again. Mom always says… _When I slid into my Volvo, the others were already there. I tried to control my breathing, but I was gasping at the fresh air like I'd been suffocated.**

"I'm so sorry."

"Bella, love please stop apologising. Would it help if Jasper showed you my thirst now compared to then?"

"Yea I think that would help."

"Jasper would you mind?"

Suddenly I was hit with a burst of flames in my throat. My whole body tensed as I gripped hold of Edward's hands tightly as I swallowed repeatedly. I felt the muscles in my stomach contract as tears filled my eyes. Before I knew it, the burn in the back of my throat lessoned considerably as I felt my body relax slightly, I didn't need to swallow as much and the burn in my throat had dulled to a dry ache. Instantly my grip on Edward's hands loosened and my head rested against his chest as I gasped for air.

"Wow."

"Wow is right."

"You're so strong. To have suffered through that every day."

"You're worth it."

"So are you. It's about time you realised that."

"I'm starting to. I'm sure I'll be even more sure once I hear your thoughts."

"Good."

"**Edward?" Alice asked, alarm in her voice.**

**I shook my head at her.**

"**What the hell happened to you?" Emmett demanded, distracted, for the moment, from the fact that Jasper was not in the mood for his rematch. Instead of answering, I threw the car into reverse. I had to get out of this lot before Bella Swan could follow me here, too. My own personal demon, haunting me… I swung the car around and accelerated. I hit forty before I was on the road. On the road, I hit seventy before I made the corner. Without looking, I knew that Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper had all turned to stare at Alice. She shrugged. She couldn't see what had passed, only what was coming. She looked ahead for me now. We both processed what she saw in her head, and we were both surprised.**

"**You're leaving?" she whispered.**

Sliding off Edward's lap, practically running upstairs, I was surprised I didn't fall the speed I was going. I didn't even realise why I was upset. I knew the reasons why Edward had escaped to Alaska, especially after experiencing just how painful the burn was in his throat back then. The rational part of my brain understood by leaving he'd saved me. However the irrational part of my brain was still upset that my scent, my blood had almost destroyed everything. I felt the bed sink and Edward's hands running through my hair, instantly soothing me. Pulling my head out front underneath the covers, I looked into Edward's honey golden eyes.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I ran."

"I do. I think deep down I always have. I left that day to save you, but I came back. We fell in love, and then after James attacked and Jasper losing control, I left again. You tried to hide how much my going hunting didn't bother you, but I could see the pain in your eyes every time I left. I did that to you, and although it's different now. You'll be like me after the baby is born. Your mind automatically goes back to when I left."

"I guess I didn't think about it that way."

"I promise we will talk through all of this later."

"I know."

"Should we go downstairs again?"

"Okay."

Before long we were all situated back in the living room. Another cup of blood in my hand alongside a sandwich. Taking a deep breath I tried, desperately to calm myself down. Being in Edward's arms always helped sooth my nerves I felt his arm snake around my waist as he stroked my belly gently. Soon I heard Jasper's voice again as he continued where we had left off before I'd ran from the room.

**The others stared at me now.**

"**Am I?" I hissed through my teeth. She saw it then, as my resolve wavered and another choice spinning future in a darker direction.**

"**Oh."**

**Bella Swan, dead. My eyes, glowing crimson with fresh blood. The search that would follow. The careful time we would wait before it was safe for us to pull out and start again…**

"**Oh," she said again. The picture grew more specific. I saw the inside of Chief Swan's house for the first time, saw Bella in a small kitchen with the yellow cupboards, her back to me as I stalked her from the shadows… let the scent pull me toward her.**

"**Stop!" I groaned, not able to bear anymore."**

"**Sorry," she whispered, her eyes wide.**

**The monster rejoiced. And the vision in her head shifted again. An empty highway at night, the trees beside it coated in snow, flashing by at almost two hundred miles per hour.**

"**I'll miss you," she said "No matter how short a time you're gone."**

**Emmett and Rosalie exchanged an apprehensive glance. We were almost to the turn off onto the long drive that led to our home.**

"**Drop us here," Alice instructed. "You should tell Carlisle yourself."**

**I nodded, and the car squealed to a sudden stop. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper got out in silence; they would make Alice explain when I was gone. Alice touched my shoulder.**

"**You'll do the right thing," she murmured. Not a vision this time – an order. "She's Charlie Swan's only family. It would kill him, too.**

"**Yes," I said, agreeing only with the last part. She slid out to join the others, his eyebrows pulling together in anxiety. They melted into woods, out of sight before I could turn the car around. I accelerated back toward town, and I knew the visions in Alice's head would be flashing from dark to bright like a strobe light. As I sped back to Forks doing ninety, I wasn't sure where I was going. To say goodbye to my father? Or the embrace the monster inside me? The road flew away beneath my tires.**

"That's the end of the chapter."

Suddenly I felt gravity move and I was resting against Edward's chest as he picked me up bridal style. I wanted to ride on his back, but I knew he wouldn't risk our child's safety. Closing my eyes I slid my hand up his shirt resting my hand against his stomach. Before anyone else could speak, Edward ran at vampire speed toward our meadow. Our special place. I instantly knew when we were there. I could smell the wildflowers; hear the waterfall that was close by. He lowered us gently onto the grass holding me close in his lap he lay down. I couldn't help but lay on top of him. Taking a deep breath I decided to start the conversation.

"Talk to me Edward. Don't be sad. You have nothing to feel guilty about."

"But I… …I wanted to kill you."

"But you didn't. You never could. I'm your mate. You can't hurt me even if you wanted to."

"How do you know?"

"Easy, if you could hurt me you wouldn't have stopped when you sucked the venom out of my hand. But you did."

"How can you take this so calmly? Why don't you fear me?"

"Because I love you. I understand so much more now. The reason why you left, the reason why you were so unsure. And after experiencing it for myself. I think you're incredibly brave. Your stronger than you think?"

"You're amazing."

"You're my angel."

"I love you so much Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."

"I love you too Bella Marie Masen Cullen."

"Do you think they'll mind if we stay here for a while?"

"I don't think so. It's been an eventful chapter."

I couldn't help but giggle. Despite the emotional roller-coaster we'd been through since starting the books I knew afterward we would come out of this so much stronger than before. Lessons would be learnt, mistakes realised, but most of all. Finally Edward would understand just how much my feelings mirrored his. As much as I was dreading my thoughts being revealed, especially the period of my life when I was parted from Edward, that would be extremely difficult for us to experience again. But for now we just needed to focus on what was to come with Edward's thoughts. I only hoped Emmett behaved himself. Otherwise I might have to plot my revenge when I was turned.


	2. Open Book

**Title:** Receiving The Books – The Cullens Read Midnight Sun

**Author:** Bella Katelyn

**Rating:** M

**Summary:** On their arrival home from their honeymoon, Bella and Edward find out that five books have been delivered to the Cullen house. Four from the past and one of the future. Follow my story as they sit down to read. How will Bella react when she hears Edward's thoughts for the first time? How will Edward react when he realises Bella's feelings for him mirrored his own?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to author Stephanie Meyer, and are brought to the fandom by Summit Entertainment. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours. With that said I hope you enjoy this story as much as I'm going to enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter Two**

**Open Book**

**BPOV**

Edward and I stayed at our meadow for a little over an hour before we decided to make our way back to the house. I hated to leave our special place but I knew if we didn't return soon then Alice would definitely send Emmett out to come get us. I sighed reluctant to leave; Edward must have sensed my reluctance as the next thing I knew I was back in his arms with my head against his chest as he raced through the forest. I kept my eyes open, for once not feeling nauseous when he ran. Before I knew it, Edward was carrying me back through the house into the living room. Taking a deep breath out I prepared me; for the next chapter, judging by the title I guessed this would start off when Edward had escaped to Alaska. Snuggling into Edward's chest I felt his hand against the small of my back instantly relaxing me as I heard Alice's voice as she began to read.

"This chapter is called **Open Book**

**I leaned back against the soft snow bank, letting the dry powder reshape itself around my weight. My skin had cooled to match the air around me, and the tiny pieces of ice felt like velvet under my skin. The sky above me was clear, brilliant with stars, flowing blue in some places, yellow in others. The stars created majestic, swirling shapes against the black universe – an awesome sight. Exquisitely beautiful. Or rather, it should have been exquisite. Would have been, if I'd been able to really see it. It wasn't getting any better. Six days had passed, six days I'd hidden here in the empty Denali wilderness, but I was no closer to freedom than I had been since the first moment that I'd caught her scent.**

"You went to the Denali's when you left?"

"They're family, love."

"I know that now. But Tanya… I don't have to be a mind reader to know she still thinks of you that way."

"She has you there little brother."

"Emmett I'm older than you by a decade."

"Tough crowd."

"Bella sweetheart no one has ever come close to making me feel the way you do. My one and only love."

"But she's flawless and I'm plain and ordinary."

"You're not ordinary you're breathtakingly beautiful. And you know what?"

"What?"

"Tanya can't give me a family. You can. You're everything to me."

"You're my world."

"Can we please get on with it now?"

"Mm please continue Alice."

**When I looked at the jewelled sky, it was as if there were an obstruction between my eyes and their beauty. The obstruction was a face, just an unremarkable human face, but I couldn't quite seem to banish it from my mind. I heard the approaching thoughts before I heard the footsteps accompanied them. The sound of movement was only a faint whisper against the powder. I was surprised that Tanya had followed me here. I knew she'd been mulling over this coming conversation for the last few days, putting it off until she was sure of exactly what she wanted to say. She sprang into sight about sixty yards away, leaping onto the tip of an outcropping of black rock and balancing there on the balls of her bare feet.**

**Tanya's skin was silver in the starlight, and her long blonde curls shone pale, almost pink with their strawberry tint. Her amber eyes glinted as she spied me, half buried in the snow, and her full lips stretched into a small. Exquisite. **_**If **_**I'd really been able to see her. I sighed. She crouched down on the point of the stone, her fingertips touching the rock, her body coiled. **_**Cannonball; **_**she thought. She launched herself into the air; her shape became a dark, twisting shadow as she spun gracefully between me and the stars. She curled herself into a ball just as she struck the piled stop bank beside me. A blizzard of snow flew up around me. The stars went black and I was buried deep in the feathery ice crystals. I sighed again, but didn't move to unearth myself. The blackness under the snow neither hurt nor improved the view. I still saw the same face.**

"**Edward?"**

**Then show was flying again as Tanya swiftly disinterred me. She brushed the powder from my unmoving face, not quite meeting my eyes.**

"MINE!"

Suddenly the room went quiet. I didn't quite understand my reaction to simply hearing about Tanya's actions back then. I tried in vain to gain control over my breathing as I clutched onto Edward's shirt tightly. Following his breathing patterns, I finally managed to regain my composure. Feeling embarrassed I buried my head into Edward's chest trying to crawl into his skin to disappear. However it seemed Edward wasn't having any of it, as his fingers slowly glided through my hair as I tried to fend off the tears.

"I'm sorry."

"No need to apologise, love. Your reaction is completely normal."

"I don't understand?"

"We've completed the mating connection. Once that happens we become very territorial over our mates. I'm sure you remember all those times I became possessive over you seeing Jake."

"Mm. I just thought that was you being jealous."

"Oh it was, however mostly it was me being possessive. Vampires are very possessive over their mates."

"That's why you always look like your about to rip Mike Newton apart."

"Yes."

"Is it always that intense?"

"Yes."

"If she even tries anything in this reality and I'll break her apart once I'm changed. Your mine!"

"All yours. Forever."

"Dude can we read again. Jeez you call me out for interrupting."

"Emmett."

"Yea lil sis."

"Bite me!"

"Children enough!"

"Sorry Mom."

"**Sorry," she murmured. "It was a joke."**

"**I know. It was funny."**

**Her mouth twisted down.**

"**Irina and Kate said I should leave you alone. They think I'm annoying you."**

"**Not at all," I assured her. "On the contrary, I'm the one who's being rude – abominably rude. I'm very sorry." **_**You're going home aren't you? **_**She thought.**

"**I haven't…entirely…decided that yet."**

_**But you're not staying here. **_**Her thought was wistful now; sad.**

"**No. It doesn't seem to be…helping."**

**She grimaced. "That's my fault isn't it?"**

"**Of course not," I lied smoothly.**

_**Don't be a gentleman.**_

**I smiled**

"_**I make you uncomfortable; **_**she accused.**

"**No."**

**She raised one eyebrow, her expression so disbelieving that I had to laugh. One short laugh, followed by another sigh.**

"**All right," I admitted. "A little bit."**

**She sighed, too, and put her chin in her hands. Her thoughts were chagrined.**

"**You're a thousand times lovelier than the stars, Tanya. Of course, you're already well aware of that. Don't let my stubbornness undermine your confidence." I chuckled at the unlikeliness of **_**that**_**.**

"**I'm not used to rejection," she grumbled, her lower lip pushing out into an attractive pout.**

"**Certainly not," I agreed, trying with little success to block out her thoughts as she fleetingly sifted through memories of her thousands of successful conquests. Mostly Tanya's preferred human men – they were much more populous for one thing with the added advantage of being soft and warm. And always eager, definitely.**

"**Succubus," I teased, hoping to interrupt the images flickering in her head.**

**She grinned, flashing her teeth. "The original."**

"Wait a minute. That legend is true?"

"Yes, the sisters are the original Succubus, after their mother died. I'm sure it will be one of these books."

"Love you so much."

"Love you too sweetheart."

"Need you."

"Later."

"Promise."

"I promise."

"I'm hungry."

"What would you like love?"

"I'm not sure."

"How about Esme cook for you and we find out what you can and cannot handle."

"Alright."

Before I could realise what happened I felt a breeze fly past me as Esme made her way toward the kitchen. I knew that her sensitive hearing would enable her to hear Alice reading as easily as if she were still in the living room with us.

**Unlike Carlisle, Tanya and her sisters had discovered their consciences slowly. In the end, it was their fondness for human men that turned the sisters against the slaughter. Now the men they loved…lived.**

"**When you showed up here," Tanya said slowly. "I thought that…"**

**I'd known what she'd thought. And I should have guessed that she would have felt that way. But I hadn't been at my best for analytical thinking in that moment.**

"**You thought that I'd changed my mind."**

"**Yes," she scowled.**

"**I feel horrible for toying with your expectations, Tanya. I didn't mean to – I wasn't thinking. It's just that I left in…quite hurry."**

**I don't suppose you'd tell me why…?"**

**I sat up and wrapped my arms around my legs, curling defensively. "I don't want to talk about it." Tanya, Irina and Kate were very good at this life they'd committed to. Better, in some ways, than even Carlisle. Despite the insanely close proximity they allowed themselves with those who should be – and once were – their prey, they did not make mistakes. I was too ashamed to admit my weakness to Tanya.**

"**Woman troubles?" she guessed, ignoring my reluctance.**

**I laughed a bleak laugh. "Not the way you mean it.**

**She was quiet then. I listened to her thoughts as she ran through different guesses, tried to decipher the meaning of my words.**

"**You're not even close," I told her.**

"**One hint?" she asked.**

"**Please let it go Tanya."**

"What part of no doesn't she understand? The more I hear of her the more I want to tear her apart."

Bella, love remember this happened nearly two years ago."

"I'm sorry. I just… it's always hurt me to hear you upset. It makes me anxious."

"All things considered you're handling them remarkably well."

"Really?"

"Really. It's not easy to hear how much I tried to fight what we have now. But here you sit as if it's nothing."

"That's because I understand. Even more so now I know how much it hurt you back then to be near me."

"Eddie boy can we please get this over with I actually don't know this part."

"Emmett babe?"

"Yea Rosie."

"Stop talking and Alice will be able to read again."

"Oh."

**She was quiet again, still speculating. I ignored her, trying in vain to appreciate the stars. She gave up after a silent moment, and her thoughts pursued a new direction.**

_**Where will you go, Edward, if you leave? Back to Carlisle?"**_

"**I don't think so," I whispered.**

**Where would I go? I could not think of one place on the entire planet that held any interest for me. There was nothing I wanted to see or do. Because no matter where I went, I would not be going **_**to **_**anywhere – I would only be running **_**from**_**. I hated that. When had I become such a coward? Tanya threw her slender arm around my shoulders. I stiffened but did not flinch out from under her touch. She meant it as nothing more than friendly comfort. Mostly out from under her touch. She meant it as nothing more than friendly comfort. Mostly.**

I growled furious that Tanya was touching my mate. My husband."

"**I think that you **_**will **_**go back," she said her voice taking on just a hint of her long lost Russian accent. "No matter what it is…or who it is…that is haunting you. You'll face it head on. You're the type."**

**Her thoughts were as certain as her words. I tried to embrace the vision of myself that carried in her head. The one who faced things head on. It was pleasant to think of myself that way again. I'd never doubted my courage, my ability to face difficulty, before that horrible hour in a high school biology class such a short time ago. I kissed her cheek, pulling swiftly back when she twisted her face toward mine, her lips already puckered. She smiled ruefully at my quickness.**

"**Thank you, Tanya. I needed to hear that."**

**Her thoughts turned petulant. "You're welcome, I guess. I wish you would be more reasonable about things, Edward."**

"**I'm sorry Tanya. You know you're too good for me. I just…haven't found what I'm looking for yet."**

"**Well, if you leave before I see you again…goodbye Edward."**

"**Goodbye Tanya."**

**As I said the words, I could see it. I could see myself leaving. Being strong enough to go back to the one place I wanted to be. "Thanks again."**

**She was on her feet in one nimble move, and then she was running away, ghosting across the snow so quickly that her feet had no time to sink into the snow; she left no prints behind her. She didn't look back. My rejection bothered her more than she'd let on before, even in her thoughts. She wouldn't want to see me again before I left.**

"Wish you'd just told me all of this sooner. All the times you were so cryptic. I would have understood."

"I'm sorry love."

"It's not entirely your fault. I could have told you sooner how I felt. Probably would have if…"

"If what sweetheart?"

"I was a little intimidated by Rosalie."

"Bella?"

"I know Rose, I understand, you were protecting your family. After a year and half I can understand more than ever. Especially after Italy. Let's just agree to leave it in the past and look to the future."

"I'd like that. And Bella?"

"Yea."

"Family calls me Rose."

I smiled relaxing against Edward's chest finally feeling completely at ease. The unimaginable had happened, for the first time in a year and half I finally had Rose's approval. Suddenly I couldn't wait for the shopping trip. I had plans to buy as many skirts and dresses as I could, hopefully that would make Alice happy.

**My mouth twisted with chagrin. I didn't like hurting Tanya, though her feelings were not deep, hardly pure, and, in any case, not something I could return. It still made me feel less than a gentleman. I put my chin on my knees and stared up at the stars again, though I was suddenly anxious to be on my way. I knew Alice would see me coming home that she would tell the others. This would make them happy – Carlisle and Esme especially. But I gazed at the stars for one more moment, trying to see past the face in my head. Between me and the brilliant lights in the sky, a pair of bewildered chocolate brown eyes stared back at seeming to ask what his decision would mean for **_**her**_**. Of course I couldn't be sure if that was really the information her curious eyes sought.**

"It was. And the more you avoided me. The more I dreamt of you."

"I'm-."

"Don't. We already talked about this. What happened happened for a reason. We have a lot to look forward to."

"That we do."

Just as the words left my mouth Esme came back with a tray full of food. The smell didn't seem to bother me as much as it did before I'd started to drink blood. Maybe that was the key, a combination of the two foods. Taking a deep breath I prepared myself to eat, praying that nothing would make me nauseated again. First on the menu was some soup. Suddenly I noticed the bucket in Edward's hand as Jasper sat down again. As I picked up the spoon bringing the soup putting it into my mouth just as my stomach instantly started to churn. Covering my mouth quickly, the next thing I knew, Edward had the bucket under my mouth as I retched repeatedly. Once I'd managed to gain control over myself I rested my head back against Edward's chest

"I guess soup is out of the question."

"I'm afraid so."

"Maybe we should try everything else in a little while. I don't think I'm very hungry anymore."

"Whenever you're ready, love."

"Can I read again now?"

"Of course sorry."

**Even in my imagination I couldn't hear her thoughts. Bella Swan's eyes continued to question, and an unobstructed view of the stars continued to elude me. With a heavy sigh, I gave up and got to me feet. If I ran, I would be back to Carlisle's car in less than an hour… In a hurry to see my family – and wanting very much to be the Edward that faced things head on – I raced across the starlit snowfield, leaving no footprints.**

* * *

**EPOV**

Soon after Bella had gotten sick again, I felt her breathing even out as I realised she'd fallen asleep. As much as I loved that she finally got to hear my thoughts I knew she needed her rest. It still surprised me how well she was taking everything that I'd thought the first few weeks of meeting her. Wanting her so badly, but not having the courage to accept that this beautiful woman was meant just for me. If I knew how much she would enjoy listening to my thoughts I would have shown her my diary a long time ago. Maybe I still could. Running my hands through her long mahogany locks I felt her snuggle closer to me. Slowly I rested my hand over her stomach feeling our baby's heartbeat through her skin. I was brought out of my thoughts by my sister's wind chime voice, realising she'd started to read again.

"**It's going to be okay," Alice breathed. Her eyes were unfocused, and Jasper had one hand highly under her elbow, guiding her forward as we walked into the rundown cafeteria in a close group. Rosalie and Emmett led the way, Emmett looking ridiculously like a bodyguard in the middle of hostile territory. Rose looked wary, too, but much more irritated than protective.**

"**Of course it is," I grumbled. Their behaviour was ludicrous. If I wasn't positive that I could handle this moment, I would have stayed home. The sudden shift from our normal, even playful morning – it had snowed in the night, and Emmett and Jasper were not above taking advantage of my distraction to bombard me with slush balls, when they got bored with my lack of response, they'd turned on each other – to this overdone vigilance would have been comical if it weren't so irritating.**

"Whoa bro I'm sorry we made you feel that way."

"I understand why you did it; I just think you overdid it. I'd hunted I was in control of my thirst."

"Dude, do your thoughts ever cheer up I'm seriously getting depressed over here."

"They will. But not for a while, so sorry to disappoint you Emm."

"Emmett McCarty Cullen you apologise to your brother right now."

"Sorry Edward."

"You're forgiven."

"Edward I'm sorry, I'm the one who asked them to guard you."

"Alice, no one is to blame now. I've dealt with it. I've moved forward. However do you see now why Bella doesn't like Bella Barbie sessions with you?"

"I guess I can go a little overboard."

"A little?"

"Alright a lot. But I can't remember much of my human life. I sometimes forget."

"She understands. Just tone it down a little, especially now she's pregnant."

"Fine."

"**She's not here yet, but the way she's going to come in…she won't be downwind if we sit in our regular spot."**

"_**Of course **_**we'll sit in our regular spot. Stop it, Alice. You're getting on my nerves. I'll be absolutely fine."**

**She blinked once as Jasper helped her into her seat, and her eyes finally focused on my face.**

"**Hmm," she said, sounding surprised. "I think you're right."**

"_**Of course **_**I am," I muttered.**

**I hated being the focus of their concern. I felt a sudden sympathy for Jasper, remembering all the times we'd hovered protectively over him. He met my glance briefly, and grinned.**

_**Annoying isn't it?**_

**I grimaced at him. Was it just last week that this long, drab room had seemed so killingly dull to me? That it had seemed almost like sleep, like a coma, to be here? Today my nerves were stretched tight – piano wires, tensed to sing at the lightest pressure. My senses were hyper alert; I scanned every sound, every sight, every movement of the air that touched my skin, every thought. Especially the thoughts. There was only one sense that I kept locked down, refused to use. Smell, of course. I didn't breathe. I was expecting to hear more about the Cullens in the thoughts that I sifted through. All day I'd been waiting, searching for whichever new acquaintance Bella Swan might have confided in, trying to see the direction the new gossip would take.**

"Son, I wish you'd come to me. I could have told you what was happening?"

"I was just so scared. I'd never felt anything like this before. Not even when I was human. Every day she awakens more and more of my humanity."

"The main thing is you two managed to talk. She doesn't only complete your life son, she completes all of us."

"I know Dad. Thank you for saving me. I don't know why I ever fought it."

"Like you said you were scared. I'm guessing Bella was just as frightened but you tried so hard to hold her at arm's length that she didn't know where she stood."

"I see your point. If I could go back and change it I would. We could have been happier sooner,"

"What's done is done. All you can do now is move forward."

"I know."

_Hey Edward, Bella never said anything about me torturing you in my head. Can't believe Bella was your own sexual experience."_

"Emmett stop right now or I swear that I'll total your car."

"No fun."

**But there was nothing. No one noticed the five vampires in the cafeteria, just the same as before the new girl had come. Several of the humans here were still thinking of that girl, still thinking the same thoughts from last week. Instead of finding this unutterably boring, I was now fascinated. Had she said nothing to anyone about me? There was no way that she hadn't noticed my black, murderous glare. I had seen her react to it. Surely, I'd scared her silly. I had been convinced that she would have mentioned it to someone, maybe even exaggerated the story a bit to make it better. Given me a few menacing lines. And then, she'd also heard me trying to get out of our shared biology class. She must have wondered, after seeing my expression, whether she were the cause. A normal girl would have asked around, compared her experience to others, and looked for common ground that would explain my behaviour so she didn't feel singled out. Humans were constantly desperate to feel normal, to fit in. To blend in with everyone else around them, like a featureless flock of sheep.**

"Bella is no normal human though Eddie."

"Don't I know it? But you know what I wouldn't have it any other way. She's perfect just the way she is."

"Awww."

"Whipped."

"No Emm I think you would find that I just appreciate my wife, when was the last time you took Rose anywhere special?"

"Well...um…"

"Exactly."

"Do you always have to have the last say?"

"No you usually have the final say in your thoughts. Not my fault that I take notice on the things Bella enjoys you really should try it sometimes."

"Rosie?"

"He's right."

"Harrumph."

**The need was particularly strong during the insecure adolescent years. The girl would be no exception to that rule. But no one at all took any notice of us sitting here, at our normal table. Bella must be exceptionally shy. If she'd confided in no one. Perhaps she had spoken to her father maybe that was the strong relationship…though that seemed unlikely, given the fact that she had spent so little time with him throughout her life. She would be closer to her mother. Still, I would have to pass by Chief Swan sometime soon and listen to what he was thinking.**

"**Anything new?" Jasper asked.**

"**Nothing. She…mustn't have said anything."**

**All of them raised an eyebrow at this news.**

"**Maybe you're not as scary as you think you are," Emmett said, chuckling. "I bet I could have frightened her better than **_**that**_**."**

**I rolled my eyes at him.**

"**Wonder why…?" He puzzled again over my revelation about the girl's unique silence.**

"**We've been over that. I don't **_**know**_**."**

"**She's coming in," Alice murmured then. I felt my body go rigid. "Try to look human."**

"Human, you say?" Emmett asked.

He held up his right fist, twisting his fingers to reveal the snowball he'd saved in his palm. Of course it hadn't melted there. He'd squeezed it into a lumpy block of ice. He had his eye on Jasper, but I saw the direction of his thoughts. So did Alice, of course. When he abruptly hurled the ice chick at her, she flicked it away with a casual flutter of her fingers. The ice ricocheted across the length of the cafeteria, too fast to be visible to human eyes, and shattered with a sharp crack against the brick wall. The brick cracked, too. The heads in that corner of the room all turned to stare at the pile of broken ice on the floor, and then swivelled to find the culprit. They didn't look further than a few tables away. No one looked at us.

"Very human, Emmett," Rosalie said scathingly. "Why don't you just punch through the wall while you're at it?"

"It would look more impressive if you did it, baby."

I tried to pay attention to them, keeping a grin fixed on my face like I was part of their banter. I didn't allow myself to look toward the line where I knew she was standing. But that was all I was listening to.

"I was so nervous that day."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want you to hate me. But at the same time I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"Oh Bella."

"It's okay. We managed to get passed the awkward stage better than some people do. And we had a lot more to deal with than they did. I don't regret anything that happened because if it hadn't, you wouldn't have as much control as you do right now. Although I do wish I hadn't been stupid during _that_time."

"I didn't make the best impression on you."

"No you didn't but that didn't stop me loving you."

"I love you to."

"Bella?"

"Yes Emmett?"

"Dream of anything or anyone last night."

"Leave me alone."

"Aww man."

"You and me arm wrestling match when I'm changed. If I win you can't make fun of our sex life."

"And if I win lil sis, it will only get worse."

"I know. But I'm going to win this one."

"Alice just read."

"I intended to. You're such a sore loser."

I could hear Jessica's impatience with the new girl, who seemed to be distracted also, standing motionless in the moving line. I saw, in Jessica's thoughts, that Bella Swan's cheeks were once more coloured bright pink with blood. I pulled in short, shallow breaths, ready to quit breathing if any hint of her scent touched the air near me. Mike Newton was with them. I heard both of his voices, mental and verbal when he asked Jessica what was wrong with the Swan girl. I didn't like the way his thoughts wrapped around her, the flicker of already established fantasies that clouded his mind while he watched her start and look up from her reverie like she'd forgotten he was there.

"Nothing," I heard Bella say in that quiet, clear voice. It seemed to ring like a bell over the babble in the cafeteria, but I knew that was just because I was listening for it so intently.

"I'll just have a soda today," she continued as she moved to catch up with the line. I couldn't help flickering one glance in her direction. She was staring at the floor, the blood slowly fading from her face. I looked away quickly, to Emmett, who laughed at the now pained looking smile on my face.

"_Emmett made fun of you again didn't he?"_

"Yes, love but you know Emmett he always makes fun of one of us at one point in the day."

"Hey! Wait a minute… …she didn't say anything."

"That's because she spoke to me in her thoughts."

It was Carlisle who spoke. I should have realised that this would fascinate him.

"What do you mean son?"

"Last night, while we were at dinner, Bella found the trigger to her shield allowing me into her thoughts."

"That's quite something. Anything else?"

"Plenty but I thought it would be best if we talked about it after the book."

"Of course."

"_Need you. Need you so bad."_

"You'll be the death of me Bella Cullen."

"_Hardly you're already dead."_

"Even so."

"Oh well that's just great. I already have to deal with Alice and you talking secretly and now Bella has to go and use her shield to let you in."

"What's the matter Emm, feeling left out?"

"Nope it's just annoying."

"Yeah yeah."

"Children stop picking on each other."

"Sorry Mom."

"You're forgiven."

"Can I continue now?"

"Sorry Alice."

"Not your fault Belly."

"_Oh great that's going to stick."_

"She won't forget, love."

"EDWARD!"

"Sorry Ali. Please continue."

_You look sick bro._

I rearranged my features so the expression would seem casual and effortless. Jessica was wondering aloud about the girl's lack of appetite. "Aren't you hungry?"

"Actually, I feel a little sick." Her voice was lower, but still very clear.

Why did it bother me, the protective concern that suddenly emanated from Mike Newton's thoughts? What did it matter that there was a possessive edge to them? It wasn't my business if Mike Newton felt unnecessarily anxious for her. Perhaps this was the way everyone responded to her. Hadn't I wanted, instinctively, to protect her, too? Before I wanted to kill her that is… But_was_the girl ill? It was hard to judge – she looked so delicate with her translucent skin… Then I realised that I was worrying too, just like the dumb witted boy, and forced myself not to think about her health. Regardless, I didn't like monitoring her through Mike's thoughts. I switched to Jessica's watching carefully as the three of them chose which table to sit at. Fortunately, they sat with Jessica's usual companions, at one of the first tables in the room. Not downwind, just as Alice had promised.

Alice elbowed me._She's going to look soon, act human._

_I was debating with myself whether or not to go to Biology._

"Why? Was I that terrifying?"

_No not really. I was just feeling so many emotions. I promised myself if you didn't look angry I'd go._

"What did I look like?"

_Curious and frustrated._

"Sounds right. I for one am extremely happy."

"Honestly you really like interrupting me."

"Sorry Ali I just want him to know what I'm thinking. I'll try not to do it so frequently."

"I understand."

I clenched my teeth behind my grin.

"Ease up, Edward," Emmett said. "Honestly. So you kill one human. That's hardly the end of the world."

"You would know," I murmured.

Emmett laughed. "You've got to learn to get over things. Like I do. Eternity is a long time to wallow in guilt."

Just then, Alice tossed a smaller handful of ice that she'd been hiding into Emmett's unsuspecting face.

He blinked, surprised, and then grinned in anticipation.

"You asked for it," he said as he leaned across the table and shook his ice-encrusted hair in her direction. The snow, melting in the warm room, flew out from his hair in a thick shower of half-liquid, half ice.

"Ew!" Rose complained, as she and Alice recoiled from the deluge.

Alice laughed, and we all joined in. I could see in Alice's head how she'd orchestrated this perfect moment, and I know that the girl – I should stop thinking of her that way, as if she were the only girl in the world that_Bella_would be watching us laugh and play, looking as happy and human and unrealistically ideal as a Norman Rockwell painting. Alice kept laughing, and held her tray up as a shield. The girl – Bella must still be staring at us.

…_staring at the Cullens again,_someone thought catching my attention. I looked automatically towards the unintentional call, realising as my eyes found their destination that I recognised the voice – I'd been listening to it so much today. But my eyes slid right past Jessica, and focused on the girl's penetrating gaze. She looked down quickly, hiding behind her thick hair again.

_I was embarrassed you'd caught me staring. And of course you know I noticed your eyes had changed colour._

"Far too perceptive for your own good."

"_You think I'm bad, you've heard my mother's thoughts. She scares me sometimes."_

"Yes Renee does have a child like mind."

_That's one way of describing it._

"Edward, she's feeling a little sad."

"Bella, love what's wrong?"

_I miss my mom. I want her to know our baby. I just… …how do we keep her from finding out._

"We'll figure it out. If you want to tell your mom, then that's what we will do."

"It'll work out. I've seen it."

"Thanks Alice. Can I um… …have some more."

"Sure."

Alice quickly took the empty bottle out of my hands, coming back a few minutes later with another. I'd started to find my favourite and just like Edward it appeared to be mountain lion blood. Snuggling back into Edward's arms as I drank my meal, I started to feel stronger than I had done in a while. Now we knew why I was getting sick so often, I'd dedicated myself to my new diet, never giving it a second thought.

What was she thinking? The frustration seemed to be getting more acute as time went on, rather than dulling. I tried – uncertain in what I was doing for I'd never tried this before – to probe with my mind at the silence around her. My extra hearing had always come to me naturally, without asking; I'd never had to work at it. But I concentrated now, trying to break through whatever shield surrounded her. Nothing but silence.

_What is it about her?_Jessica thought, echoing my own frustration.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you," she whispered in the Swan girl's ear, adding a giggle. There was no hint of her jealous irritation in her tone. Jessica seemed to be skilled at feigning friendship. I listened, too engrossed, to the girl's response.

"He doesn't look angry, does he?" she whispered back.

So she_had_noticed my wild reaction last week. Of course she had. The question confused Jessica. I saw my own face in her thoughts as she checked my expression but I didn't meet her glance. I was still concentrating on the girl, trying to hear_something._My intent focus didn't seem to be helping at all.

"No." Jess told her, and I knew that she wished she could say yes – how it rankled inside her, my staring – though there was no trace of that in her voice. "Should he be?"

"I don't think he likes me," the girl whispered back, laying her head down on her arm as if she were suddenly tired. I tried to understand the motion, but I could only make guesses. Maybe she_was_tired.

"The Cullens don't like anybody," Jess reassured her. "Well they don't notice anybody enough to like them."_They never used to._Her thought was a grumble of complaint. "But he's still staring at you."

"Stop looking at him" the girl said anxiously, lifting her head from her arm to make sure Jessica obeyed the order.

_I didn't want you to think I was only looking at you because of your beauty. To me you're so much more than that._

"You fascinated me. I still am. Especially now I can hear your beautiful mind."

_Looking back now it seems silly we were so scared. You truly are my perfect match. The key to my heart._

"As you are mine, love. Forever. I promise."

_Forever is a long time you know."_

"I know and I am looking forward to forever more than you will ever know."

_I think I have some understanding. Especially after everything we found out last night._

"I love you sweetheart."

_Love you too._

"Aww come on dude. Let us in on the big secret. You know how much I hate it when you talk secretly."

"Emmett McCarty Cullen you leave your brother and sister alone."

"But… arrgh. Stupid mind reader."

Jessica giggled, but did as she was asked. The girl didn't look away from the table for the hour. I thought – though of course, I couldn't be sure – that this was deliberate. It seemed like she wanted to look at me. Her body would shift slightly in my direction, her chin would begin to turn, and then she would catch herself, take a deep breath and stare fixedly at whoever was speaking. I ignored the other thoughts around the girl for the most part, as they were not momentarily, about her. Mike Newton was planning a snow fight in the parking lot after school, not seeming to realise that the snow had already shifted to rain. The flutter of soft flakes against the roof had become the more common patter of raindrops. Could he really not hear the change? It seemed loud to me.

_Everything seems loud to you._

"You're right love it does."

_Makes me jealous, especially when you're talking about me._

"Well soon you won't have that trouble."

_I suppose your right._

"Always am."

_Show off._

"Love you."

_Bite me._

"Don't need to as well you know."

_True. You do know that you've just dropped us in it._

"We'll deal with it later."

_I'm still thirsty._

"Esme could you please?"

"Of course/"

Esme rushed into the kitchen at vampire speed, getting my blood out of the fridge before speeding back to my side. Taking it slowly I started to suck on the straw resting my hand underneath Edward's shirt rubbing his stomach. He thought he could fool me but I knew he was still suffering the after effects of eating last night. Staring into his eyes I saw his face go paler with the same green tinge it had been the previous night. Hopping off his lap I watched as he raced into the bathroom. Setting my blood against the coffee table I ran after him, grateful that at least this time I was able to help him.

Throughout the morning, my stomach had continued to turn, I hadn't wanted to say anything to Bella because I knew she was already feeling nauseous because of the pregnancy, not to mention the changes she was experiencing as she slowly changed into one of us, I found myself grateful that she would be changed this way instead of having to go through the searing pain of being bitten. I watched as Esme brought Bella's blood back, just as she slipped her hand onto my stomach, the nausea became too much for me to handle. Bella noticed the change as she slid off my lap quickly, running at vampire speed I made it to the porcelain god just in time before I violently threw up again. I must have eaten more food than I thought. Suddenly I felt warm hands on my back, My Bella. Leaning my head back against her shoulder I took deep breaths still feeling extremely queasy.

"I should have realised you'd still be feeling delicate. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I thought if I didn't think about it, it would go away."

"Did my rubbing it help any?"

"Yes I'd started to wish I wasn't wearing my T shirt."

"Then don't. If Emmett tries anything I'll just remind him of our deal."

"He really thinks he can beat you."

"Then he's going to be upset when he's beaten. Are you ready to go back in?"

"Mm."

"There's some blood on the table for you alongside mine."

"Thank you."

Instantly I felt Bella's hands on my t shirt as she started to pull at it. Instinctively I lifted my arms in the air smiling as she pulled it off in one swift movement dropping it to the ground. Flushing the chain I stood slowly wrapping my arm around Bella's waist as we walked back into the living room. Emmett's eyes bulged at my bare torso. Just as promised Bella put him in his place as I sat down with Bella taking her seat on my lap again as I felt her hand rubbing my tender stomach. She handed my cup of blood with her free hand her eyes still on our oaf of a brother.

"Don't even say one word Emmett Cullen. Or so help me I'll not hesitate to set the wolves on you."

"You wouldn't."

"Put it this way, I still need to add my name to the treaty. We need to see them at one point."

"Why should I shut up? He's showing skin."

"How would you feel if you felt sick and you were made fun of by him? He had to eat last night."

"Oh."

"Yes oh. Now shut up and let Alice read."

"Okay."

Resting my head against Bella's shoulder I closed my eyes concentrating on her scent as it calmed me down instantly. Her hand went back to rubbing my tender stomach as Alice started to read again. I could hear in all of their thoughts that they felt for me. They didn't think that I would actually go ahead with what I'd said and eat. Maybe we should tell Carlisle sooner about Bella's unique transformation.

When the lunch period ended, I stayed in my seat. The humans filed out, and I caught myself trying to distinguish the sound of her footsteps from the sound of the rest, as if there was something important or unusual about the,. How stupid. My family made no move to leave, either. They waited to see what I would do. Would I go to class, sit beside the girl where I could smell the absurdly potent scent of her blood and feel the warmth of her pulse in the air on my skin? Was I strong enough for that? Or had I had enough for one day?

"I_think_it's okay," Alice said, hesitant. "Your mind is set. I_think_you'll make it through the hour."

But Alice knew well how quickly a mind could change.

"Why push it, Edward?" Jasper asked. Though he didn't want to feel smug that I was the one who was weak now, I could hear that he did, just a little. "Go home. Take it slow."

"What's the big deal?" Emmett disagreed. "Either he will or he won't kill her. Might as well get it over with either way."

"I don't want to move yet," Rosalie complained. "I don't want to start over. We're almost out of high school, Emmett._Finally_."

I was evenly torn on the decision. I wanted, wanted badly, to face this head on rather than running away again. But I didn't want to push myself too far, either. It had been a mistake last week for Jasper to go so long without hunting; was this just as pointless a mistake? I didn't want to uproot my family. None of them would thank me for that.

"Rose?"

"Yes Bella."

"I um… …I know how much you wish that you could be a mother. I understand more now than ever before. I'm also aware that my pregnancy must be hard on you. So I was wondering if… …only if you want that is…"

"Bella spit it out. I won't bite."

"Would you be our baby's godmother?"

"Oh Bella I'd be honoured. Thank you."

"Hey lil sis. Thank you for making my Rosie so happy."

"Didn't do anything she wouldn't have done for me."

"Thank was very nice of you love."

_I'd been thinking about it for a while. I know it won't make up for it entirely. But hopefully it will be enough to close the hole in her heart."_

"It has been sweetheart."

"Cam I continue?"

"Mmmhm."

But I wanted to go to my biology class. I realised that I wanted to see her face again. That's what decided it for me. That curiosity, I was angry with myself for feeling it. Hadn't I promised myself that I wouldn't let the silence of the girl's mind make me unduly interested in her? And yet, here I was unduly interested. I wanted to know what she was thinking. Her mind was closed, but her eyes were very open. Perhaps I could read them instead.

"No, Rose, I think it really will be okay," Alice said. "It's… firming up. I'm ninety-three percent sure that nothing bad will happen if he goes to class." She looked inquisitively, wondering what had changed my thoughts that made her vision of the future more secure. Would curiosity be enough to keep Bella Swan alive?

Emmett was right though – why not get it over with, either way? I would face the temptation head on.

"Go to class," I ordered, pushing away from the table. I turned and strode away from them without looking back. I could hear Alice's worry, Jasper's censure, Emmett's approval, and Rosalie's irritation trailing after me.

I took one last deep breath at the door of the classroom, and then held it in my lungs as I walked into the small, warm space. I was not late. Mr Banner was still setting up for today's lab. The girl sat at my – at_our_table, her face down again, staring at the folder she was doodling on. I examined the sketch as I approached, interested in even the trivial creation of her mind, but it was meaningless. Just a random scribbling of loops within loops. Perhaps she was not concentrating on the pattern, but thinking of something else?

_I was thinking of you. As usual._

I smiled holding Bella tighter to me; her soft warm hand was comforting as it rested against my summersaulting stomach. I knew Alice would likely blow up if I interrupted again. She never had been one for patience. Kissing the top of Bella's head, I knew she would know my silent gesture as my answer. She was always so intuitive. As I suspected she smiled up at me resting her head against my bare shoulder, I could feel her hot skin warming my skin instantly. Alice was staring at us as she seemed to have a half smile on her face. It made me wonder just what she had seen this time. Raising my eyebrow she shook her head. Whatever it was she's tell me in her own time.

_Ready to continue now brother dear._

"Yes I'm sorry Alice."

"It's okay I understand."

I pulled my chair back with unnecessary roughness, letting it scrape across the linoleum; humans always felt more comfortable when noise announced someone's approach. I knew she heard the sound; she didn't look up, but her hand missed a loop in the design she was drawing making it unbalanced. Why didn't she look up? Probably she was frightened, I must be sure to leave her with a different impression this time. Make her think she'd been imagining things before.

"Hello," I said in the quiet voice I used when I wanted to make humans more comfortable, forming a polite smile with my lips that would not show any teeth. She looked up then, her wide brown eyes startled – almost bewildered – and full of silent questions. It was the same expression that had been obstructing my vision for the last week. As I stared into those oddly deep brown eyes, I realised that the hate – the hate I'd imagined this girl somehow deserved for simply existing – had evaporated. Not breathing now, not trusting her scent, it was hard to believe that anyone so vulnerable could ever justify hatred.

Her cheeks began to flush; and she said nothing. I kept my eyes on hers, focusing only on their questioning depths, and tried to ignore the appetising colour of her skin. I had enough breath to speak for a while longer without inhaling.

"My name is Edward Cullen," I said, though I knew she knew that. It was the polite way to begin. "I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan."

"Alice would you mind if I read this part?"

"Of course not Edward. It is after all your thoughts."

"Thank you."

I took the book gently out of her hands, starting to feel slightly better the blood and Bella's hand rubbing my stomach seemed to be helping a lot more than I thought it would. Taking a deep breath I started to read again. Bella instantly relaxed as she heard my voice reading my thoughts again. I knew then that I was definitely going to allow her access to my journals seeing how much it pleased her.

She seemed confused – there was that little pucker between her eyes again. It took her half a second longer than it should have for her to respond.

"How do you know my name?" she demanded, and her voice shook just a little.

I must have truly terrified her. This made me feel guilt; she was just so defenceless. I laughed gently – it was a sound that I knew made humans more at ease. Again, I was careful about my teeth.

"Oh, I think everyone knows your name." Surely she must have realised that she'd become the centre of attention in this monotonous place. "The whole town's been waiting for you to arrive."

She frowned as if this information was unpleasant. I supposed, being shy as she seemed to be, attention would seem like a bad thing to her. Most humans felt the opposite. Though they didn't want to stand out from the herd, at the same time they craved a spotlight for their individual uniformity.

"No," she said. "I meant, why did you call me Bella?"

"Do you prefer Isabella?" I asked, perplexed by the fact that I couldn't see where this question was leading. I didn't understand. Surely, she'd made her preference clear many times that first day. Were all humans this incomprehensible without the mental context as a guide?

"No, I like Bella," she answered, leaning her head slightly to one side. Her expression – if I was reading it correctly – was torn between embarrassment and confusion. "But I think Charlie – I mean my dad – must call me Isabella behind my back. That's what everyone here seems to know me as."

"Dude, you tripped up there."

"I know Emmett, I was there remember."

"Oh right."

"Idiot."

"Hey I was just saying. No need to get your panties in a twist."

"Emmett what did I say? Leave him alone."

"Why do you have to spoil my fun?"

"Why do you have to be an ass when you know he's not feeling well."

"Yea well it's his own fault for eating."

"You'd have done the same thing if Rose was human and you wanted to give her a human experience."

"Suppose."

"Jerk."

Instantly I placed my free hand on Bella's back. I knew she was just protecting me as her mate. And it was about time Emmett was put in his place, he'd been making fun of all of us for year and we'd just taken it. Bella however wasn't having any of it. I heard in Rosalie's thoughts that she had just gone up in her estimations even though she was yelling at her husband. I sighed as my stomach turned slightly, determined to at least get through this chapter before occupying the bathroom again. Instantly Bella relaxed as I started to rub her back gently, the same way she'd been rubbing my upset stomach. She must have sated her thirst as she placed her bottle of blood to my mouth as I took big gulps of blood feeling some relief in my abdomen. I think I would need to talk to Carlisle sooner because suddenly I started to wonder if I was developing sympathy symptoms. Alice smirked at me, obviously seeing my decision in my thoughts. Sighing slightly I started reading again before anymore arguments could start.

Her skin darkened one shade pinker.

"Oh," I sighed lamely, and quickly looked away from her face. I'd just realised what her questions meant: I had slipped up – made an error. If I hadn't been eavesdropping on all the others that first day, then I wouldn't have addressed her initially by her full name, just like everyone else. She'd noticed the difference. I felt a pang of unease. It was very quick of her to pick up on my slip. Quite astute, especially for who was supposed to be terrified of my nearness. But I had bigger problems than whatever suspicions about me she might be keeping locked inside her head. I was out of air. If I were going to speak to her again, I would have to inhale.

_I'm sorry._

"No need to apologise."

_I know, but I still feel bad about it._

"Silly Bella."

_Love you too._

"As I love you, sweetheart."

"Get on with it."

"Emmett once more and you'll regret it."

"Fine."

It would be hard to avoid speaking. Unfortunately for her, sharing this table made her my lab partner, and we would have to work together today. It would seem odd – and incomprehensibly rude – for me to ignore while we did the lab. It would make her more suspicious, more afraid… I leaned as far away from her as I could without moving my seat, twisting my head out of the aisle. I braced myself, locking my muscles in place, and then sucked in one quick chest-full of air, breathing through my mouth alone. Ahh! It was genuinely painful. Even without smelling her, I could taste her on my tongue. My throat was suddenly in flames again, the craving even bit as strong as that first moment I'd caught her scent last week. I gritted my teeth together and tried to compose myself.

"Get started," Mr Banner commended.

It felt like it took every single ounce of self-control that I'd achieved in seventy years of hard work to turn back to the girl, who was staring down at the table, and smile.

"Ladies first, partner?" I offered.

_That's more like it Edward. You were raised better than to be rude._

"I'm sorry Mom."

_I know you are._

She looked up at my expression and her face went blank, her eyes wide. We were there something off in my expression? Was she frightened again? She didn't speak.

"Or, I could if you wish," I said quietly.

"No," she said, and her face went from white to red again. "I'll go first."

I stared at the equipment on the table, the battered microscope, the box of slides, rather than watch the blood swirl under her clear skin. I took another quick breath, through my teeth, and winced as the taste made my throat ache.

"Prophase," she said after a quick examination. She started to remove the slide, though she'd barely examined it.

"Do you mind if I look?"

_I still can't believe you tried to prove me wrong._

"You did the same with me if you remember."

_Only because you did. But I guess you weren't to know I'd already done this lab._

"You and me both."

"Hey! What are you two whispering about."

"You'll see."

Instinctively – stupidly, as if I were one of her kind – I reached out to stop her hand from removing the slide. For one second, the heat of her skin burned into mine. It was like an electric pulse – surely much better than a mere ninety-eight point six degrees. The heat shot through my hand and up my arm. She yanked her hand out from under mine.

_Because I felt it as well._

"You did?"

_Yeah. It was then I realised that there was something different about you, I just couldn't put my finger on it at the time._

"You amaze me."

_You've said that a lot recently._

"I mean it."

_I know you do. Now read."_

"Yes ma'am."

"I'm sorry," I muttered through my clenched teeth. Needing somewhere to look, I grasped the microscope and stared briefly into the eyepiece. She was right. "Prophase," I agreed.

I was still too unsettled to look at her. Breathing as quietly as I could through my gritted teeth and trying to ignore the fiery thirst, I concentrated on the simple assignment, writing the word on the appropriate line on the lab sheet, and then switching out the first slide for the next. What was she thinking now? What had that felt like to her, when I had touched her hand? My skin must have been ice cold – repulsive. No wonder she was so quiet.

_Silly vampire. I don't want to give too much of my thoughts away. I'm sure you'll find out soon enough. If not in the book then I'll show me through my thoughts, but remember this. I have never been repulsed by you. All I've ever felt about you is loved and safe. Every time I feel that electric current run between us, I remember how lucky I am to have found you._

"Wow."

"What! What are we missing out on."

"It's private Emmett. Not that you'd understand that."

I glanced at the slide.

"Anaphase," I said as I wrote it on the second line.

"May I?" she asked.

I looked up at her, surprised to see that she was waiting expectantly, one hand half-stretched toward the microscope. She didn't_look_afraid. Did she really think I'd gotten the answer wrong? I couldn't help but smile at the hopeful look on her face as I slid the microscope toward her. She stared into the eyepiece with an eagerness that quickly faded. The corners of her mouth turned down.

"Slide three?" she asked, not looking up from the microscope, but holding out her hand. I dropped the next slide into her hand, not letting my skin come anywhere close to hers this time. Sitting beside her was like sitting next to a heat lamp. I could feel myself warming slightly to the higher temperature. She didn't look at the slide for long.

"Interphase," she said nonchalantly – perhaps trying a little too hard to sound that way – and pushed the microscope to me. She didn't touch the paper, but waited for me to write the answer. I check – she was correct again. We finished this way, speaking one word at a time and never meeting each other's eyes. We were the only ones done – the others in the class were having a harder time with the lab. Mike Newton seemed to be having trouble concentrating – he was trying to watch Bella and me.

_Wish he'd stayed wherever he went,_Mike thought, eyeing me sulfurously. Hmm, interesting. I hadn't realised the boy harboured any ill will toward me. This was a new development, about as recent as the girl's arrival it seemed. Even more interesting I found – to my surprise – that the feeling was mutual.

_I already have morning sickness. His thoughts make me feel worse._

"We'll sort it, love. He'll make sure he never thinks that way about you again."

_As long as you don't do anything drastic. Remember my father lives here I want to stay as long as we can._

"We won't. We'll just make sure he is too scared of us to try and approach you again."

_Good. The last thing we need is Charlie coming up here asking questions we can't answer._

"You're right as usual."

"Whipped."

"Again, and you're not?"

"I'll get you back for stopping me having fun."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Boys, honestly. Grow up."

"Sorry Esme. Sorry Edward."

"You're forgiven."

I looked down at the girl again, bemused by the wide range of havoc and upheaval that, despite her ordinary, unthreatening appearance, she was the wrecking on my life. It wasn't that I couldn't see what Mike was going on about. She was actually rather pretty … in an unusual way. Better than being beautiful her face was_ interesting_. Not quite symmetrical – her narrow chin out of balance with her cheekbones; extreme in the colouring – the light and dark contrast of her skin and her hair; and then there were the eyes, brimming over with silent secrets… Eyes that were suddenly boring into mine. I stared back at her, trying to guess even one of those secrets.

_And here it comes. I must have really freaked you out._

"Yes you did."

"What? What did I miss?"

"You're about to find out?"

"Did you get contacts?" she asked abruptly.

What a strange question. "No." I almost smiled at the idea of improving_my_eyesight.

"Oh," she mumbled. "I thought there was something different about your eyes."

I felt suddenly colder again as I realised that I was apparently not the only one attempting to ferret out secrets today. I shrugged my shoulders stiffly, and flared straight ahead to where Mr Banner was making his rounds. Of course there was something different about my eyes since the last time she'd stared into them. To prepare myself for today's ordeal, today's temptation, I'd spent the entire weekend hunting, satiating my thirst as much as possible, and overdoing it really. I'd glutted myself on the blood of animals, not that it made much difference in the face of the outrageous flavour floating on the air around her. When I'd glared at her last, my eyes had been black with thirst. Now, my body swimming with blood, my eyes were a warmer gold. Light amber from my excessive attempt at thirst quenching.

Another slip. If I'd seen what she'd meant with her question. I could have just told her yes. I'd sat beside humans for two years now at this school, and she was the first to examine me closely enough to note the change in my eye colour. The others, while admiring the beauty of my family, tended to look down quickly when we returned their stares. They shied away, blocking the details of our appearances in an instinctive endeavour to keep themselves from understanding. Ignorance was bliss to the human mind. Why did it have to be this girl who would see too much?

_Because I was completely and irrevocably in love with you._

"I love you to."

"Dude, even before you were together she already had you under the thumb."

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response."

"Emmett if you want to sit here and listen to the rest of the books I suggest you try and keep the jokes to a minimum."

"Fine."

_Edward?_

"What's wrong love?"

_I need to see Charlie. If I don't see him soon he'll go to Billy. That's the last thing we need right now."_

"Your right. I'll take you to see him after we teach Newton a lesson."

_Love you._

"As I love you angel."

Mr Banner approached our table. I gratefully inhaled the gush of clean air he brought with him before it could mix with her scent.

"So Edward," he said looking over our answers, "didn't you think Isabella should get a chance with the microscope?"

"Bella," I corrected him reflexively. "Actually, she identified three of the five."

Mr Banner's thoughts were sceptical as he turned to look at the girl. "Have you done this lab before?"

I watched, engrossed, as she smiled, looking slightly embarrassed.

"Not with onion root."

"Whitefish blastula?" Mr Banner proved.

"Yeah."

This surprised him. Today's lab was something he'd pulled from a more advanced course. He nodded thoughtfully at the girl. "Were you in an advanced placement programme in Phoenix?"

"Yes."

She was advanced then, intelligent for a human. This didn't surprise me.

"Well," Mr Banner said, pursing his lips. "I guess it's good you two are lab partners." He turned and walked away mumbling. "So the other kids get a chance to learn something for themselves" under his breath. I doubted the girl could hear that. She began scrawling lops across her folder again.

Two slips so far in one half hour. A very poor showing on my part. Though I had no idea at all what the girl thought of me – how much did she fear, how much did she suspect? – I knew I needed to put forth a better effort to leave her with a new impression of me. Something to better drown her memories of our ferocious last encounter.

"It's too bad about the snow isn't it?" I said, repeating the small talk that I'd heard a dozen students discuss already. A boring, standard topic of conversation. The weather – always safe.

She stared at me with obvious doubt in her eyes – an abnormal reaction to my very normal words. "Not really," she said surprising me again.

I tried to steer the conversation back to trite paths. She was from much brighter, warmer place – her skin seemed to reflect that somehow, despite its fairness – and the cold must make her uncomfortable. My icy touch certainly had…

"You don't like the cold," I guessed.

"Or the wet," she agreed.

"Forks must be a difficult place for you to live."_Perhaps you shouldn't have come here,_I wanted to add._Perhaps you should go back where you belong._

I wasn't sure I wanted that, though. I would always remember the scent of her blood – was there any guarantee that I wouldn't eventually follow her? Besides, if she left, her mind would forever remain a mystery. A constant, nagging puzzle.

BPOV

As I listened to Edward's voice, the tension I had started to feel seemed to disappear. Snuggling closer into his chest I relished the coldness of his bare chest. If I had my way I'd make him go shirtless all hours of the day. I was starting to surprise myself how well I was taking his thoughts, especially considering most of them were not exactly pleasant for me to hear. The hand rubbing Edward's stomach stilled as I wrapped my arm securely around him. His own arm stroked my stomach gently. I was brought out of my thoughts by Edward's voice reading again. I guessed he had been listening to my thoughts. No doubt we would be talking about everything again on the way to the Newton's store.

"You okay sweetheart?"

"Yea just thinking of a few things."

"I know I can hear them. Your thoughts fascinate me."

"Not surprise considering what I was thinking about."

"That's true."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

"You have no idea," she said in a low, glowering past me for a moment. Her answers were never what I expected. They made me want to ask some questions.

"Why did you come here, then?" I demanded, realising instantly that my tone was too accusatory, not casual enough for the conversation. The question sounded rude, prying.

"It's…complicated."

She blinked her wide eyes, leaving it at that, and I nearly imploded out of curiosity – the curiosity burned as hot as the thirst in my thirst. Actually, I found that it was getting slightly easier to breathe; the agony was becoming more bearable through familiarity.

"I think I can keep up," I insisted. Perhaps common courtesy would keep her answering my questions as long as I was rude enough to ask them. She stared down silently at her hands. This made me impatient; I wanted to put my hand under her chin and tilt her head up so that I could read her eyes. But it would be foolish of me – dangerous – to touch her skin again. She looked up suddenly. It was a relief to be able to see the emotions in her eyes again. She spoke in a rush, hurrying through the words.

"My mother got remarried."

Ah, this was human enough, easy to understand. Sadness passed through her clear eyes and brought the pucker between them.

"That doesn't sound so complex," I said. My voice was gentle without my working to make it that way. Her sadness left me feeling oddly helpless, wish there was something I could do to make her feel better. A strange impulse. "When did that happen?"

"Last September." She exhaled heavily – not quite a sigh. I held my breath as her warm breath brushed my face.

"And you don't like him," I guessed, fishing for more information.

"No, Phil is fine," she said, correcting my assumption. There was a hint of a smile now around the corners of her full lips. "Too young, maybe, but nice enough."

This didn't fit with the scenario I'd been constructing in my head.

"Why didn't you stay with them?" I asked, my voice a little too curious. It sounded like I was being nosy. Which I was, admittedly.

"Phil travels a lot. He plays ball for a living." The little smile grew more pronounced, this career choice amused her.

"You have no idea how nervous I was when you were asking about my mom. Maybe it was because I had all these feelings inside me and I didn't know how to tell you. Top that off with my self-confidence issues and you get the scenario."

"I'm so glad we got these books. It gives us a chance to see how the other was feeling."

"It's certainly not what I was expecting to come home to."

"Son, was there something you wanted to talk to me about. You seem a little distracted."

"There is but I think it would be best if we talked about it after this chapter. I'm not sure it can wait until the entire book."

"Is everything alright?"

"Everything is more than alright."

"Alright."

I smiled, too, without choosing to. I wasn't trying to make her feel at ease. Her smile just made me want to smile in response – to be in on the secret. "Have I heard of him?" I ran through the rosters of professional ball players in my head, wondering which Phil was hers…

"Probably not. He doesn't play_well._Another smile. Strictly minor league. He moves around a lot."

The rosters in my head shifted instantly, and I'd tabulated a list of possibilities in less than a second. At the same time, I was imagining the new scenario.

"And your mother sent you here so she could travel with him," I said. Making assumptions seemed to get more information out of her than the question did. It worked again. Her chin jutted out and her expression was suddenly stubborn.

"No, she didn't send me here," she said, and her voice had a new, hard edge to it. My assumption had upset her, though I couldn't quite see how. "I sent myself."

"Dude, that's no way to treat your future wife, even I know not to piss off Rosie like that."

"You'll feel the back end of my foot if you don't stop. Don't you think I was struggling enough without you making snide remarks. It's not exactly easy having you all hear my thoughts. But I'm allowing it anyways. Somehow I can't see you being so understanding if the roles were reversed."

"Jeez I was only trying to lighten the mood."

"Yes well Bella already told you I wasn't feeling well and you keep pushing your luck."

"Emm he's serious. Just tone it down a little."

"I think I'm going to go hunt."

"Aww poor baby."

"Shut up Bella."

"What not your lil sis anymore."

"Not when you spoil my fun."

"Just go hunt and come back in a better mood."

"Fine."

I sighed as I watched Emmett leave. I didn't want him to feel pushed out, the protective part of me was just coming out. Especially since Edward wasn't feeling well. I was starting to realise just how much Edward had to deal with whilst he had been around all those stupid teenage boys. I was snapping at my innocent brother all because I was feeling highly possessive right now. Resting my cheek against Edward's bare chest I inhaled his scent, finding it the easiest way to calm myself down. Vampire emotions combined with pregnancy emotions seemed to be a bad mixture.

"You alright sweetheart."

"Mm just a lot of emotions right now."

"We understand, so does Emmett he just gets grouchy when he's hungry."

_I have the worst headache."_

"Esme could you get Bella some Tylenol please."

"Of course."

Just like before Esme rushed into the kitchen at vampire speed, standing next to me with some Tylenol and water for me. I wasn't sure how they would react in my stomach considering everything we had discovered but it was better than dealing with the pounding that was going on right now inside my head. Taking the Tylenol out of Esme's hand I popped it in my mouth gulped the water before swallowing, resting my head back against Edward's chest.

"She Edward?"

"Yes Rose?"

"What are you going to wear when you go see Newton. I'm pretty sure going around shirtless will gain some notice."

"Well I'll wear a shirt obviously. If not wearing my shirt makes Bella comfortable then I'll do whatever it takes."

"The perfect match."

"Exactly."

I could not guess at her meaning on the source behind her pique. I was entirely lost. So I gave up. There was just no more sense of the girl. She wasn't like other humans. Maybe the silence of her thoughts and the perfume of her scent were not the only unusual things about her.

"I don't understand," I admitted, hating to concede.

She sighed and stared into my eyes for longer than most normal humans were able to stand.

"She stayed with me at first, but she missed him," she explained slowly, her tone growing more forlorn with each word. "It made her unhappy… so I decided it was time to spend some quality time with Charlie."

The tiny pucker between her eyes deepened.

"But now you're unhappy," I murmured. I couldn't seem to stop speaking my hypothesis aloud, hoping to learn from her reactions. This one, however, did not seem as far off the mark.

"And?" she said, as if this was not even an aspect to be considered.

I continued to stare into her eyes, feeling that I'd finally gotten my first real glimpse into her soul. I saw in that one word where she ranked herself amount her own priorities. Unlike most humans, her own needs were far down the list. She was selfless. And I saw this, to the mystery of the person hiding inside this quiet mind began to thin a little.

"That doesn't seem fair," I said. I shrugged, trying to see casual, trying to conceal the intensity of my curiosity. She laughed, but there was no amusement in the sound.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you? Life isn't fair."

"I'm sorry I was so hard on you. I was confused at why you were so interested in my life. To me it's pretty boring. Or at least it used to be."

"I understand."

"Is everything alright Bella, I can feel some anxiety coming off you."

"Just nervous on letting Mom and Dad know about the baby."

"How come?"

"Because I'm scared how she will take it. I'm 18. The same age she was when she was pregnant with me."

"Oh I see."

"Yeah. I know she's probably going to do the opposite to what I expect her to do. She handled our engagement a lot better than Charlie did."

"I know someone else like that."

"You love me despite that."

"Of course I do."

"I love you to."

I wanted to laugh at her words, though I, too, felt no real amusement. I knew a little something about the unfairness of life. "I believe I_have_heard that somewhere before."

She stared back at me, seeming confused again. Her eyes flickered away, and then came back to mine.

"So that's all," she told me.

But I was not ready to let this conversation end. The little V between her eyes, a remnant of her sorrow, bothered me. I wanted to smooth it away with my fingertip. But of course, I could not touch her. It was unsafe in so many ways.

"You put on a good show." I spoke slowly, still considering this next hypothesis. "But I'd be willing to bet that you're suffering more than you let anyone see."

She made a face, her eyes narrowing and her mouth twitching into a lopsided pout, and she looked back towards the font of the class. She didn't like it when I guessed right. She wasn't the average martyr – she didn't want an audience to her pain.

"Am I wrong?"

She flinched slightly, but otherwise pretended not to hear me.

That made me smile. "I didn't think so."

"Why does it matter to you?" she demanded, still staring away.

"That's a very good question," I admitted, more to myself than to answer her.

Her discernment was better than mine – she saw right to the core of things while I floundered around the edge, sifting blindly through the clues. The details of her very human life should_not_matter to me. It was wrong for me to care what she thought. Beyond protecting my family from suspicion, human thoughts were not significant. I wasn't used to being the less intuitive of my pairing. I relied on my extra hearing too much – I clearly was not as perceptive as I give myself credit for. The girl sighed and flowered toward the front of the classroom. Something about her frustrated expression was humorous. The whole situation, the whole conversation was humorous. No one had ever been in more danger from me than this little girl – at any moment I might, distracted by my ridiculous absorption in the conversation, inhale through my nose and attack her before I could stop myself – and_she_was irritated because I hadn't answered her question.

_Sorry, I really didn't help back then did I. Looking back on it now I realise I only made it worse, especially when I start to get nervous and play with my hair._

"You weren't to know, and in a way I think it helped me. The more of your scent I got, the easier it became to control myself, especially when I started to come into your room and watch you sleep."

_I wish I knew about that sooner. We could have been together sooner. You already knew I was dreaming about you."_

"I was scared if you saw me there you'd be frightened."

_I know. But honestly I wouldn't have been. I guess part of me already knew you came into my room. I dreamt you were standing in the corner of the room._

"Wow. Your dreams are even perceptive."

_That a bad thing?_

"Not in my eyes."

"You know Emmett's right that is annoying."

"You only think that because it's you being left out for once Ali."

"Mm, maybe your right. I am glad that you've found your shield and let him into your thoughts though."

"Thanks Alice. You're the best."

"Your welcome."

"Am I annoying you?" I asked, smiling at the absurdity of it all.

She glanced at me quickly, and then her eyes seemed to get trapped by my gaze.

"Not exactly," she told me. "I'm more annoyed at myself. My face is so easy to read – my mother always calls me her open book." She frowned disgruntled.

I stared at her in amazement. The reason she was upset was because she thought I saw through her_too easily._How bizarre. I'd never expended so much effort to understand someone in all my life – or rather existence, as_life_was hardly the right word. I did not truly have a_life._

_You want me to get Alice to smack you again._

"No. Why do you want that?"

_Because you are living. All right your heart doesn't beat but you're alive. Do you have any idea how much it hurts me to hear you think these things, even if it was nearly two years ago._

"I'm sorry, love."

_You're forgiven. Just remember that you're the very best part of my life. You may not be alive in the human sense but you have a life. With me, with our unborn baby._

"What are we missing?"

"Oh nothing. I'm just being reprimanded in her thoughts."

"Good you deserve it. Jerk."

"Rose stop picking on your brother. This was a very hard time for him, as well you know."

"Sorry Edward."

"It's okay."

"On the contrary," I disagreed, feeling strangely…wary, as if there were some hidden danger here that I was failing to see. I was suddenly on edge, the premonition making me anxious. "I find you very difficult to read."

"You must be a very good reader then," she guessed, making her own assumption that was, again, right on target.

"Usually," I agreed.

I smiled at her widely then, letting my lips pull back to expose the rows of gleaming, razor sharp teeth behind them. It was a stupid thing to do, but I was abruptly, unexpectedly desperate to get some kind of warning through to the girl. Her body was closer to me than before, having shifted unconsciously in the course of our conversation. All the little makers and signs that were sufficient to scare off the rest of humanity did not seem to be working on her. Why did she not cringe away from me in terror? Surely she had seen enough of my darker side to realise the danger, intuitive as she seemed to be. I didn't get to see if my warning had the intended effect. Mr Banner called for the class's attention just then, and she turned away from me at once. She seemed a little relieved for the interruption, so maybe she understood unconsciously. I hoped she did.

_In your dreams Mr Cullen._

"I know. You never have acted like a normal human I don't know why I kept trying so hard."

_You were just trying to protect me as your mate. You mightn't have known at the time but it was there. Just like me running off to James was trying to protect you. Running to Volterra, was protecting you. Cutting my arm when Victoria had her arms around your neck. Like the third wife I distracted her long enough for you to kill her._

"Ssh, love I know. You don't have to explain anything to me. Not now I can hear your beautiful thoughts."

_I like that you can hear my thoughts. I don't feel like the odd one out anymore._

"You were never the odd one out, love."

_Maybe so but I felt like it. Now I'm your equal._

"Love you sweetheart."

_Love you too._

I recognised the fascination growing inside me, even as I tried to root it out. I could not afford to find Bella Swan interesting. Or rather,_she_could not afford that. Already, I was anxious for another chance to talk to her. I wanted to know more about her mother, her life before she came here, her relationship with her father. But every second I spent with her was a mistake, a risk she shouldn't have to take. Absentmindedly, she tossed her thick hair just at the moment I allowed myself another breath. A particularly concentrated wave of her scent hit the back of my throat.

_I'm sorry. I didn't think._

"It's not your fault, love you weren't to know."

_Even so, maybe I should wear my hair up more._

"Mm I like that idea."

_You do?_

"Of course. How could I not?"

_You're biased._

"Nope just in love."

I blushed. I didn't want to but I couldn't help myself. Edward always knew the right words to make me feel special and loved. Without even trying. It was one of the many things I loved about him. Suddenly I realised why he bought me gifts, wanted to buy me a car, it wasn't because he had too much money. It was because he loved me and wanted to show that love. Now I was determined to not complain anymore. He could buy me my own island and I wouldn't complain.

It was like the first day – like the wrecking ball. The pain of the burning dryness made me dizzy. I had to grasp the table again to keep himself in my seat. This time I had slightly more control. I didn't break anything, at least. The monster growled inside me, but took no pleasure in my pain. He was too tightly bound. For the moment. I stopped breathing altogether, and leaned as far away from the girl as I could. No, I could not afford to find her fascinating. The more interesting I found her, the more likely it was that I would kill it. I'd already made two minor slips today. Would I make a third, one that was_not_minor? As soon as the bell sounded. I fled from the classroom – probably destroying whatever impression of politeness I'd halfway constructed in the course of the hour. Again, I gasped at the clean, wet air outside like it was healing attar. I hurried to put as much distance between myself and the girl as was possible.

"I think we should take a break for a while. I'm sure Bella's legs are getting stiff."

"They are actually. I was thinking maybe we could pay Mike a visit. I know Emmett's not here but I'd rather get the message across before we go anywhere else. Maybe once he finally sees he will stick with Jess."

"That sounds like a good idea to me. Alice and Rose can get some food in for Charlie. He's at the station till late."

"Let's go then."

I smiled. This was going to be fun. As much as I'd classed him my friend for the last few years, hearing his thoughts and how possessive he'd been when there had never been anyone but Edward for me had made me incredibly angry. Sliding off Edward's lap I reached for a clean shirt handing it to him, slightly reluctant to see him wear it. I'd gotten used to his bare chest. Before I could speak again Edward had me in his arms heading toward the Volvo. Five minutes later we were on our way to Newton's store. I should have felt sorry for Mike but for once I couldn't find it in my heart to care. His thoughts had pushed me too far, he deserved everything Jasper and Edward gave him. And I had a front row seat. This was going to be fun.


	3. Date Night

**Title:** Receiving The Books – The Cullens Read Midnight Sun

**Author:** Bella Katelyn

**Rating:** M

**Summary:** On their arrival home from their honeymoon, Bella and Edward find out that five books have been delivered to the Cullen house. Four from the past and one of the future. Follow my story as they sit down to read. How will Bella react when she hears Edward's thoughts for the first time? How will Edward react when he realises Bella's feelings for him mirrored his own?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to author Stephanie Meyer, and are brought to the fandom by Summit Entertainment. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours. With that said I hope you enjoy this story as much as I'm going to enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter Three**

**Date Night**

**BPOV**

To say I was surprised Edward had brought me back to La Bella Italia was an understatement however I couldn't help but feel excited. This was the place where I'd finally found out Edward was a vampire. The first time he'd fully trusted himself to be around me. Once I managed to calm myself down, I suddenly realised Edward was standing next to the car door holding it open for me. Reaching out to take his hand, I slowly exited the car instantly making my way into his open arms. I felt Edward's arm snake around my waist as he led the way toward the restaurant. Once we were inside, I frowned realising that the hostess was the same one who had tried to flirt with Edward the last time we were here.

Suddenly feeling self-conscious despite the fact that my stomach was still flat. I could hear Edward growl low as it vibrated through my cheek, whatever she was thinking it wasn't pleasant. The sooner we were in our seats the better. Bringing my hand from around Edward's waist I made sure my wedding band and engagement ring were prominently on display. I knew she'd noticed my not so subtle attempt at marking my territory as she scowled at me.

"A booth for two please."

"Of course sir, right this way."

"I don't like her."

"I know sweetheart, but remember you're the one who has me. She's nothing to me."

"I know. I'm sorry, stupid hormones."

Suddenly I heard the hostess's voice again and my bubble popped. I hadn't been this possessive over Edward the last time we'd come here, but like Edward said we'd become mated, and now my possessiveness took on a whole new meaning. Instinctively I looped my fingers through his belt loops glaring at the way she was looking at _my_ husband. Suddenly I felt Edward's hand on my back, thankfully he must have realised what was going on in my thoughts by the expression on my face.

"Will this be alright Mr Cullen?"

"This will be perfect thank you."

"Your server will be out momentarily."

"Thank you."

Taking deep breaths, I finally managed to get my emotions under control as I sat down, suddenly realising that this was the same table we sat at the previous time we were here. Of course back then I'd been so focused on finding out what he was to take notice of everything around me. I noticed Edward looked apprehensive. Then it suddenly dawned on me why. Because the restaurant was pretty packed and it was night time, he would have to eat. Reaching my hand over the table I took hold of his left hand squeezing it a little, hoping it would bring him some comfort.

"I'm sorry you have to eat. I know it's not going to be pleasant for you."

"I want to do this. Yes I'll suffer later but it's worth it."

"As long as you're sure?"

"I am."

"There's plenty of room back here you know. It's not like last time."

Before I could say anything else, Edward was sitting next to me. You'd have thought after nearly 2 years together I'd have gotten used to his speed. But time and time again, it still managed to take my breath away. No sooner had he sat down than our server came to collect our order. Placing my hand on Edward's leg I prayed that we would be able to get through the meal before he felt the urge to eject it from his system.

"Hello I'm Amber I'll be your server today."

"Bella, love what would you like."

"Mushroom Ravioli please."

"And for you sir?"

"The same please with two cokes."

"I'll bring your bread rolls straight out."

"Thank you."

Resting my head against Edward's shoulder, I allowed myself to relax again. When Edward said he was going to give me every human experience he wasn't joking. As much as I didn't want him to eat, to suffer through something that was ultimately going to make him nauseous, I knew he would do anything for me. This was one of the few last human experiences I would have. It felt strange to think that in a few short months I would be like Edward, finally equals. At my touch the tension in Edward's body started to relax. I wished I could take this experience away from him but he was too like me, once he had decided there was no changing his mind. Suddenly I was brought out of my thoughts by Edward kissing my forehead, just then I noticed the server was back.

"Can I get you anything else? And I mean _anything_/?"

"We're fine thank you."

"Call me if you change your mind."

"I won't."

As we started to eat, I took hold of Edward's free hand, hoping it would give him some support as he started to place the unappealing food into his system. About halfway through the meal I noticed Edward was looking really pale, paler than normal anyways with a green hue to it. I felt bad for him; he'd always managed to skip dinner time at Charlie's. Whilst I ate, I focused really hard on the newly discovered shield around my mind as I tried to find the trigger to pull it backward exposing my thoughts to him.

* * *

**EPOV**

I always knew eating would be a challenge, my stomach felt heavy as I forced the inedible food into my already protesting stomach. I could see Bella looking at me every so often, I hated for her to worry, but at the back of my mind I knew if the roles were reversed, she would do the same for me. I'd always remember our first outing here, I was terrified she was going to run away from me screaming, but just like normal, she never does what I expect her to do. It didn't take long for my stomach to start rejecting the foreign substance, however I was determined to get through this for Bella's sake.

Deciding not to think about what I was putting in my body, I chose instead to focus on Bella. It was then that I noticed the concentration on her face. Whatever she was thinking about must be important. Pushing the remaining food around the plate I hoped I'd manage to last until we got home before getting sick, however that would be too easy. Suddenly I noticed Bella's face relax and she looked smug about something. Her hand squeezed my leg again, no doubt noticing how pale my face had gotten. I was brought out of my thoughts by Bella trailing her hand up my leg I knew what she was doing. And thankfully it was working.

"_I love you."_

"Bella was that?"

"_My thoughts? Yes."_

"But how?"

"_I found the trigger I just need to search for a bubble."_

"You amaze me do you know that?"

"_I do now. I'm ready to go. Do you think you can make it out of here?"_

"No I don't think so. I'll be right back."

"_I wish I could come with you."_

"I know you do, love. I won't be long."

"_I'll wait here._"

"Alright."

The minute I got out of my seat, my stomach started to gurgle and my gag reflex became more apparent. Rushing at human speed into the men's bathroom, making it into the cubicle just in time before I was violently sick. This was the first and last time I would ever be eating human food, it just wasn't worth the after effect. Leaning my head against the porcelain god, I prayed my stomach would stop turning. It felt like I'd had a really bad hangover. Taking unnecessary deep breaths, I somehow managed to regain my composure enough to leave the bathroom, I'd have to hunt tonight, something I hated because it took me away from Bella, and she needed me more than ever now. Sighing I made my way back to the table smiling as I noticed Bella already waiting for me.

Once I reached my Bella, I instantly wrapped my arms around her waist, slipping my hand up her t shirt rubbing her stomach. It didn't take "_Amber_" long before she noticed we were ready to leave, thankfully she had the check already with her. Taking it from her waiting hands, I slid the money into its holder shoving it back into her waiting hand resting my hand on the small of Bella's back as I led her outside. The fresh air seemed to help my still protesting stomach. However I wasn't going to let that interrupt our evening.

"Would you like to go to the meadow before we go home?"

"Yes please. As long as you're feeling up to it."

"I'll be okay. I'll hunt once you're asleep."

"Alright."

Helping Bella into the car, I rushed at human speed to the drivers' side making my way toward the one-o-one. I knew how much Bella loved our meadow, she always seemed to relax more when we were there, no doubt because Emmett wasn't around. Now that I thought about it, I'd have to speak to Bella about her dream. The last thing I wanted was for her to walk back into the house and be bombarded by Emmett's incessant teasing. With my driving it wasn't long before we came to the trail. I knew Bella wouldn't want to walk, and if I was honest with myself I preferred carrying her. Rushing at Vampire speed to the passenger side I held the door open for Bella as she took hold of my hand stepping out carefully. This was one conversation I wasn't looking forward to Bella would be mortified. And I hated it when she was upset or hurt in any way.

BPOV

I could tell Edward was putting on a brave face for me. I had only seen him eat once before, just after I found out what he was. It still amazed me the lengths he would go to in order to make sure I got every single human experience. As he ran me toward the meadow I started to wish I'd been more forceful in trying to stop him from eating. But Edward would be Edward and he was determined to eat. The minute Edward walked into the meadow, I felt myself instantly relax. I would miss our meadow when the time came for us to move. Part of me wished that we could stay here, but I knew that was impossible once I'd been changed. We would have to deal with the pack, not to mention I would no doubt be a danger to humans. Suddenly I felt myself being lowered to the ground as I lay back against the grass.

I didn't need to turn my head to know Edward had taken his usual place next to me. Our positions reminded us of the first time Edward brought me here, he'd been so frightened that he wouldn't be able to control himself, but I knew he wouldn't hurt me, I think deep down I always knew what he was, Jacob confirming it was just the finishing touch. Reaching my hand out I slowly unbuttoned his shirt resting my hand onto his stomach as I started to massage it gently. I heard him groan seeing his face was still a paler tone.

"Is this helping?"

"Mm it feels so good."

"I'm sorry you had to experience that."

"It was worth it. I had dinner with my wife like a normal person."

"Do you have to go hunting? We have animal blood in the house for me."

"That's true. And it would mean we could get back to the books quicker."

"You look like there's something on your mind. Care to share?"

"Well um… …before I brought you upstairs. You started to talk in your sleep."

"Oh no. What did I say."

"You were dreaming about us… …making love. Emmett heard."

"He's going to make fun of me."

"We've already warned him to behave."

"Since when did that stop Emmett."

"If he doesn't want to be torn apart he'll listen."

"When do we have to go back?"

"Soon. I just didn't want to tell you about your dream at the house."

"Thank you."

"Any time, love."

"_Love you."_

"Love you to. It's going to take a while for me to get used to that."

"_We have forever."_

Again, we stayed in our meadow for a few hours, it was only as it started to get really dark out, and I found myself back in Edward's arms as he ran back toward the Volvo. I was dreading going home, especially after Edward's revelation. Eternity is a long time to be made fun of, maybe I could shut him up with an arm wrestling match once I was changed. I would definitely be stronger than him and he wouldn't see it coming. He relies on his strength too much. Before I knew it we were pulling into the driveway, it made me nervous why Edward's speeding didn't bother me anymore. As we made our way toward the house, I was suddenly thankful that Emmett didn't seem to be around. It seemed like Alice had seen my mortified reaction and somehow managed to get them all out of the house for which I was incredibly grateful.

Just as Edward set me back on my feet, I felt my stomach lurch, rushing toward the nearest bathroom, making it just in time before I lost what little sustenance I'd managed to stomach tonight. Before long, I felt cool hands wrapping around my stomach rubbing it in gentle motions. Taking deep breaths, instinctively I snuggled into Edward's chest resting my eyes. I loved being pregnant, I just hated the stinking morning sickness. If Emmett thought making fun of me sleep talking would be fun, this would just give him extra ammunition.

"What happened there, love? One minute you were okay the next."

"I don't know. How does it feel when you eat?"

"Well you already know that the food just sits there because we can't digest it. Our venom doesn't react well to it."

"That's how I feel or felt. It felt heavy in my stomach."

"When did you find this out? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you weren't exactly feeling well yourself, and at the restaurant not before."

"We need to talk to Carlisle after the books."

"Why?"

"Because I think the baby is slowly going to change you into one of us."

"That's a good thing though right?"

"I think so. But still I'd like to be sure."

"Alright. Can you take me to bed now?"

"Of course, love.

EPOV

Picking Bella up I walked at human speed toward the kitchen, grabbing the bottles of blood I'd gotten from the fridge on the way toward the stairs. I hated walking at a human pace, but I didn't want to upset not just her stomach but my own. Tonight had certainly been an eventful day, and I knew it would only get more eventful the more we continued to read. As sick as I felt right now the fact that Bella had enjoyed herself mattered more to me. Once we'd both drank the blood I knew it would help settle out stomachs. Instead of getting her Pyjamas like I'd usually do, I grabbed my t shirt from earlier quickly undressing her replacing her clothes with my t shirt. She was exhausted that much was obvious, yet as usual she was trying to fight sleep. Sighing I stripped down to my boxers getting into bed with my wife handing her one of the bottles watching in awe as she gulped it down. It was then that I knew for sure that Bella would mainly need blood. It certainly was a unique way to be changed into one of us.

Sliding the top off the bottle of blood in my own hand, I brought it to my lips gulping it down almost greedily as I felt instant relief in my abdomen. Bella was right, eating human food wasn't worth the after effects, although once I saw the same hostess and server that we had had previously I knew it had been a necessity this time. Laying down I smiled as Bella instantly moved into my arms dropping her empty bottle onto the floor with a resounding thud. Her head lay against my bare chest and it wasn't long before her breathing evened out and she was sleeping peacefully, Alice was right we had needed this time alone. I'd have to buy her something nice once we'd finished the books to thank her. Maybe a car, I could ask Rosalie for help. But for now, I was going to enjoy the peace and quiet as I watched my wife sleep. Today had been a good day and it could only get better.


	4. Phenomenon

**Title:** Receiving The Books – The Cullens Read Midnight Sun

**Author:** Bella Katelyn

**Rating:** M

**Summary:** On their arrival home from their honeymoon, Bella and Edward find out that five books have been delivered to the Cullen house. Four from the past and one of the future. Follow my story as they sit down to read. How will Bella react when she hears Edward's thoughts for the first time? How will Edward react when he realises Bella's feelings for him mirrored his own?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to author Stephanie Meyer, and are brought to the fandom by Summit Entertainment. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours. With that said I hope you enjoy this story as much as I'm going to enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter Four**

**Phenomenon **

**BPOV**

Five minutes after I woke up we were sitting around the coffee table again, the look on Alice's face was priceless as she saw our attire. She opened her mouth as if to complain, however a warning growl from Edward soon stopped her in her tracks. Thankfully, Emmett seemed to be his usual chirpy self, for which I was grateful, something in his eyes made me realise that Jasper had filled him in on our little revenge act on Mike and Jessica. Edward picked up the book again as he got ready to read. My head settled onto its usual place on Edward's bare chest.

Emmett waited for me outside the door of our Spanish class. He read my wild expression for a moment._How did it go?_He wondered warily.

"Nobody died," I mumbled.

_I guess that's something. When I saw Alice ditching there at the end, I thought…_

As we walked into the classroom, I saw his memory from just a few moments ago, seen through the open door of his last class. Alice walking briskly and blankly across the grounds toward the science building. I felt his remembered urge to get up and join her, and then his decision to stay. If Alice needed his help, she would ask… I closed my eyes in horror and disgust as I slumped into my seat.

"I hadn't realised it was that close. I didn't think I was going to…I didn't see that it was that bad," I whispered.

_It wasn't,_he reassured me._Nobody's dead right?_

"Right," I said through my teeth. "Not this time."

_Maybe it will get easier_

"Sure."

_Or, maybe you kill her._He shrugged._You wouldn't be the first one to mess up. No one would judge you too harshly. Sometimes a person just smells too good. I'm impressed you've lasted this long._

"Jeez thanks a lot Emmett. Nice to know your first impression of me was so bad."

"Aww Bella I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. You didn't know that your thoughts would be published."

"Guess that's true."

"Oh and Emmett I'm sorry about yesterday."

"It's okay lil sis."

"Guess I'm the one interrupting this time."

"Yea but Eddie forgives you anything."

"Jerk."

"Hey!"

"Children, stop."

"Sorry Mom."

"Not helping, Emmett."

I was revolted by his acceptance of the idea that I could kill the girl, that this was somehow inevitable. Was it her fault that she smelled so good?_I know when it happened to me…_he reminisced, taking me back with him half a century, to a country lane at dusk, where a middle aged women was taking her dried sheets down from the line strung between apple trees. The scent of apples hung heavy in the air – the harvest was over and the rejected fruits were scattered on the ground, the bruises in their skin leaking their fragrance out in thick clouds. A fresh-mowed field of hay was a background to that scent, a harmony.

He walked up the lane, all but oblivious to the woman, on an errand for Rosalie. The sky was purple overhead, orange over the western trees. He would have continued up the meandering cart path and there would have been no reason to remember the evening, except that a sudden night breeze blew the white sheets out like sails and fanned the woman's scent across Emmett's face.

"Ah," I groaned quietly. As if my own remembered thirst was not enough.

_I know. I didn't last half a second. I didn't even think about resisting._

His memory became far too explicit for me to stand.

"Is that all you think about Emmett. Ways on how to torture Edward?"

"Not all the time. Right now I'm trying to figure out how to torture Newton since you all decided to go without me."

"I think Edward and Jasper scared him enough for the three of you. Not to mention I gave Jess what she's been dishing out for the last year and a half. They don't matter anymore."

"But… …but."

"Please Emmett. We have so much to look forward to."

"Fine but only because you asked nicely."

"You won't regret it."

"You owe me."

"You love me anyways."

"Course I do. You're my favourite human."

I couldn't help myself; I stuck my tongue out as Emmett pouted everyone else laughed. Resting my hand against Edward's thigh I smirked as he shifted slightly in his seat. Before things could go any further he brought my hand to his lips kissing it softly before resting it against my stomach. Nuzzling into his neck again his free hand traced the length of my back as he started to read again.

I jumped to my feet, my teeth locked hard enough to cut through steel.

"Esta bien, Edward?" Senora Goff asked, startled by my sudden movement. I could see my face in her mind, and I know that I looked far from well.

"Me perdona," I muttered, as I darted for the door.

"Emmett – por favour, puedas tu ayuda a tu hermano?" she asked, gesturing helplessly toward me as I rushed out of the room.

"Sure," I heard him say. And then he was right behind me.

He followed me to the far side of the building, where he caught up to me and put his hand on my shoulder. I shoved his hand away with unnecessary force. It would have shattered the bones in a human hand, and the bones in the arm attached to it.

"Sorry Edward."

"I know." I drew in deep gasps of air, trying to clear my head and my lungs.

Without thinking, I started to run my hand through Edward's bronze hair, instantly feeling the tension which had been building up inside him start to disappear. I hated to see him suffering, but knowing that he had suffered the most painful burn because of me, hurt slightly although I'd never admit it to him. Now I understood why he had kept his distance, taking me to the meadow truly had been the making of us, we had learned how to interact with each other, how to control his thirst. Our first kiss. I felt my cheeks grow hotter as I remembered the way I'd reacted when his lips touched mine. From the corner of my eyes I saw Emmett open his mouth to say something before Rosalie smacked him over the head. I was brought out of my thoughts by Edward's lips on my forehead, before he started to read again.

"Is it as bad as that?" he asked, trying not to think of the scent and flavour of his memory as he asked and not quite succeeding.

"Worse, Emmett, worse."

He went quiet for a moment.

_Maybe…_

"No, it would not be better if I got it over with. Go back to class, Emmett. I want to be alone."

He turned without another thought and walked quickly away. He would tell the Spanish teacher that I was sick, or ditching, or a dangerously out of control vampire. Did his excuse really matter? Maybe I wasn't coming back. Maybe I had to leave. I went to my car again, to wait for school to end. Again. I should have spent the time making decisions or trying to bolster my resolve, but, like an addict, I found myself searching through the babble of thoughts, emanating from the school buildings. The familiar voices stood out, but I wasn't interested in listening to Alice's visions or Rosalie's complaints right now. I found Jessica easily, but the girl was not with her, so I continued searching. Mike Newton's thoughts caught my attention, and I located her at last, in gym with him. He was unhappy, because I'd spoken to her today in biology. He was running over her response when he'd brought the subject up…

_I've never seen him actually talk to anyone for more than a word here or there. Of course he would decide to find Bella interesting. I don't like the way he looks at her. But she didn't seem excited about him. What did she say? 'Wonder what was with him last Monday.' Something like that. Didn't sound like she cared. It couldn't have been much of a conversation…_

He talked himself out of his pessimism in that way, cheered by the idea that Bella had not been interested in her exchange with me. This annoyed me quite a bit more than was acceptable, so I stopped listening to him.

"Argh why the hell did I ever think he'd make a good friend?"

"Because you're selfless, love. I don't think he'll be bothering us any time soon."

"Good. It's about time he realised that no one else will ever match up to you. You're my life."

"As you're mine."

"As for Jess, I think I scared her, I've always been so meek and mild with her, vampire emotions on top of pregnancy hormones seem to make me more honest. For nearly 2 years I've felt like I couldn't protect you against her, but yesterday for the first time I was confident enough to stand up to her and if I had to do it all over again I would."

I meant what I said. Angela and Ben are the only ones from school I want to stay in contact; they're two of the most genuine people I've met."

"Ssh, love everything will be okay. You need to stay calm for the baby remember."

"Okay. I'm sorry."

"No need to apologise sweetheart."

"Yeah Jess had it coming, if I hadn't have been helping you stay calm you definitely would have slapped her."

"Well then I'm glad you were helping keep me calm. Can we just read now? I'm embarrassed."

"Of course, love."

I put a CD of violent music into the stereo, turning it up until it drowned out other voices. I had to concentrate on the music very hard to keep myself from drifting back to Mike Newton's thoughts, to spy on the unsuspecting girl… I cheated a few times, as the hour drew to a close. Not spying, I tried to convince myself. I was just preparing. I wanted to know exactly when she would leave the gym, when she would be in the parking lot. I didn't want her to take me by surprise. As the students started to file out of the gym doors, I got out of my car, not sure why I did it. The rain was light – I ignore it as it slowly saturated my hair. Did I want her to see me here? Did I hope she would come to speak to me? What was I doing? I didn't want to move, though I tried to convince myself to get back in the car, knowing my behaviour was reprehensible. I kept my arms folded across my chest and breathed in very shallowly as I watched her walk slowly toward me, her mouth turning down at the corners. She didn't look at me. A few times she glanced up at the clouds with a grimace, as if they offended her.

I was disappointed when she reached her car before she had to pass me. Would she have spoken to me? Would I have spoken to her? She got into a faded red Chevy truck a rusted behemoth that was other than her father. I watched her start the truck – the old engine roared louder than any other vehicle in the lot – and then hold her hands out toward the heating vents. The cold was uncomfortable to her – she didn't like it. She combed her fingers through her thick hair, pulling locks through the stream of hot air like she was trying to dry them. I imagined what the cab of that truck would spell like, and the quickly drove out the thought.

She glanced around as she prepared to back out, and finally looked in my direction. She stared back at me for half a second, and all I could read in her eyes was surprise before she tore her eyes away and jerked the truck into reverse. And then squealed to a stop again, the back end of the truck missing collusion with Erin Teague's compact by mere inches. She stared into her rear-view mirror, her mouth hanging open with chagrin. When the other car had pulled past her, she checked all her blind spots twice and then inched out of the parking space so cautiously that it made me grin. It was like she thought she was_dangerous_in her decrepit truck. The thought of Bella Swan being dangerous to anyone, no matter what she was driving had me laughing while the girl drove past me, staring straight ahead.

"That's the end of the chapter. Who wants to read now?"

"I will." Rosalie whispered.

"Before we start reading again. I'm thirsty."

"Alice would you get Bella some blood please?"

"Of course."

Just as before Alice raced into the kitchen at vampire speed to get my meal, making it back to my side in mere seconds rather than the five minutes it would have taken me. Taking hold of the bottle I sipped it slowly, nuzzling my head back into Edward's chest as Rosalie started to read the next chapter.

"This chapter is called Phenomenon

Truly, I wasn't thirsty, but I decided to hunt again that night. A small ounce of prevention, inadequate though I knew it to be. Carlisle came with me; we hadn't been alone together since I'd returned from Denali. As we ran through the black forest, I heard him thinking about that hasty goodbye last week. In his memory, I saw my features had been twisted in fierce despair. I felt his surprise and my sudden worry.

"_Edward?"_

"_I have to go Carlisle. I have to go now."_

"_What happened?"_

"_Nothing. Yet. But it will, if I stay."_

He'd reached for my arm. I felt how it had hurt him when I'd cringed away from his hand.

"_I don't understand."_

"_Have you ever…has there ever been a time…"_

I watched myself take a deep breath; saw the wild light in myself through the filter of his deep concern.

"_Has any one person ever smelled better to you than the rest of them?_Much_better?"_

"_Oh."_

When I'd known that he understood, my face had fallen with shame. He'd reached out to touch me, ignoring it when I'd recoiled again, and left his hand on my shoulder.

"_Do what you must to resist, son. I will miss you. Here, take my car. It's faster."_

Moving my head further into Edward's chest, I didn't even realise that tears had started to fall until I felt Edward's cold fingers wiping them away. I could see the worry etched in his golden eyes. I knew it was irrational to be upset over something that had happened nearly 2 years ago. I just hated that I caused him so much pain, why couldn't my shield have been round my body rather than my mind. Sighing deeply I filled my lungs with his scent feeling myself calming down.

"Feeling better now, love?"

"Much. I'm sorry. I just…why couldn't my shield be covering my blood instead of my mind, it would've made things so much easier on us. I hate that I'm the reason you had to leave."

"Sweetheart, if the roles were reversed. What would you have done?"

"Probably the same thing."

"Well then, you can't feel bad about it."

"I guess you're right."

"I'm sorry Rose. Please continue."

"It's alright Bella, I know this is hard for you to hear."

He was wondering now if he'd done the right thing then, sending my away. Wondering if he hadn't hurt me with his lack of trust.

"No," I whispered as I ran. "That was what I needed. I might so easily have betrayed that trust, if you'd told me to stay."

"I'm sorry you're suffering, Edward. But you should do what you can to keep the Swan child alive. Even if it means that you must leave again."

"I know, I know."

"Why_did_you come back? You know how happy I am to have you here, but if this is too difficult…"

"I didn't like feeling a coward," I admitted.

We'd slowed – we were barely jogging through the darkness now.

"Better that than put her in danger. She'll be gone in a year or two."

"You're right, I know that." Contrarily though, his words only made me more anxious to stay. The girl would be gone in a year or two…

Carlisle stopped running and I stopped with him, he turned to examine my expression

_But you're not going to run are you?_

I hung my head.

_Is it pride, Edward? There's no shame in –_

"No, it isn't pride that keeps me here. Not now."

_Nowhere to go?_

I laughed shortly. "No." That wouldn't stop me if I could make myself leave."

"We'll come with you, of course, if that's what you need. You only have to ask. You've moved on without complaint for the rest of them. They won't begrudge you this."

I raised one eyebrow.

He laughed. "Yes, Rosalie might, but she owes you. Anyways, it's much better for us to leave now, no damage done, no damage done than for us to leave later, after a life has been ended." All humour was gone by the end. I flinched at his words.

"Yes," I agreed. My voice sounded hoarse.

_But you're not leaving?_

I sighed. "I should."

"What holds you here, Edward. I'm filing to see…"

"I don't know if I can explain." Even to myself it made no sense.

"Because of me? I held you here."

"And you always will."

"It never made sense for you to love me. You're perfect and I'm…"

"Your beautiful, sexy, the mother of my child, my wife, my mate."

"Well when you put it that way. It's only because of you I have confidence. You are worth my love no matter what we hear in each other's thoughts. We've overcome so much and finally we are together, forever. I love you my Edward."

"I love you too my Bella."

"Awww."

I blushed burying my head back into Edward's chest feeling my cheeks flame tomato red.

He measured my expression for a long moment.

_No, I don't see. But I will respect your privacy, if you prefer._

"Thank you. It's generous of you, seeing as how I give privacy to no one." With one exception. And I was doing what I could to deprive her of that, wasn't I?

_We all have our quirks._He laughed again._Shall we?_

He'd just caught the scent of a small herd of deer. It was hard to rally much enthusiasm for what was, even under the best of circumstances, a less than mouth-watering aroma. Right now, with the memory of the girl's blood fresh in my mind, the smell actually turned my stomach.

I sighed. "Let's," I agreed, though I knew that forcing more blood down my throat would help so little.

We both shifted into a hunting crouch and left the unappealing scent pull us silently forward.

_When will I be able to see you hunt?_

"Not until after your change. You know that."

_A girl can dream can't she?_

"Keep trying, love. One day I may cave."

_You know all I need to say is please._

"Don't remind me."

"Hey! What's the big secret?"

"Nothing Emmy we're just talking about something."

"No fair."

"Awww poor you."

It was colder when we returned home. The melted snow had refrozen; it was as if a thin sheet of glass covered everything – each pine needle, each fern frond, each blade of grass was iced over. While Carlisle went to dress for his early shift at the hospital, I stayed by the river, waiting for the sun to rise. I felt almost swollen from the amount of blood I'd consumed, but I knew the lack of actual thirst would mean little when I sat beside the girl again. Cool and motionless as the stone I sat on, I stared at the dark water beside the icy bank, stared right through it. Carlisle was right. I should leave Forks. They could spread some story to explain my absence. Boarding school in Europe. Visiting distant relatives. Teenage runaway. The story didn't matter. No one would question too intensely.

It was just a year or two, and then the girl would disappear. She would go on with her life – she would_have_a life to go on with. She'd go to college somewhere, get older, start a career, and perhaps marry someone. I could picture that – I could see the girl dressed all in white and walking at a measured pace, her arm through her father's.

"Yeah right. How's that plan working out for you?"

"I've never been happier to be proved wrong."

"You got one thing right. I did walk down the aisle to the man of my dreams. And I can still go to college. I want to go to college."

"Since when?"

"Since I showed Charlie that sonogram picture and I realised that I needed to have a good education. And I know you want me to you always have done. I'll even agree to getting rid of _The Thing_."

"Really?"

"Really. But we need to read these books before I decide which kind of car I'd like."

"I think I can handle that."

"Good."

"Dude seriously, do you have to interrupt?"

"Emmy you do realise you were there for all of this right."

"But still. Not every day we get to hear _his_thoughts."

"Emmett, shut up."

"Yes Rosie."

"Shut up."

_Edward?_

"Yes, love."

_My back aches. Can you rub it for me._

"Of course I can."

Taking a deep breath I relaxed into Edward's arms as he started to rub the small of my back. Closing my eyes, I breathed out enjoying the soothing touch of my husband's hands on my bare skin. I was suddenly brought out of my thoughts by Rosalie's voice beginning to read again. It had shocked me that Rosalie had decided to read, however I was just glad she hadn't gotten the Port Angeles chapter.

It was odd, the pain that image caused me. I couldn't understand it. Was I jealous, because she had a future that I could never have? That made no sense. Every one of the humans around me had that same potential ahead of them – a life – and I rarely stopped to envy them. I should leave her to her future. Stop risking her life. That was the right thing to do. Carlisle always chose the right way. I should listen to him now.

_Cos that worked out so well for me._

"I'll never forgive myself for leaving you."

_I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be so snappy._

"I understand. This must bring back a lot of unwanted memories."

_More like a lot of confusion. It always felt like you were saying goodbye. All I wanted was you."_

"I should have followed my heart sooner."

_We both should have. What made you stay?_

"After Tyler's van. I realised you needed me. Even if I didn't realise it."

_I'm glad you stayed._

"So am I, love. So am I."

The sun rose behind the clouds, and the faint light glistened off all the frozen glass. One more day, I decided. I would see her one more time. I could handle that. Perhaps I would mention my pending disappearance, set a story up. This was going to be difficult; I could feel that in the heavy reluctance that was already making me think of excuses to stay – to extend the deadline to two days, three, four… But I would do the right thing. I knew I could trust Carlisle's advice. And I also knew that I was too conflicted to make the decision alone. Much too conflicted. How much of this reluctance came from my obsessive curiosity, and how much came from my unsatisfied appetite? I went inside to change into fresh clothes for school.

Alice was waiting for me, sitting on the top step at the edge of the third floor.

_You're leaving again,_she accused me.

I sighed and nodded.

_I can't see where you're going this time._

"I don't know where I'm going yet," I whispered.

_I want you to stay._

I shook my head.

_Maybe Jazz and I could come with you._

"They'll need you all the mire, if I'm not here to watch out for them. And think of Esme. Would you take half her family in one blow?"

_You're going to make her sad._

"I know. That's why you have to stay."

_That's not the same as you being here and you know it._

"Yes. But I have to do what's right."

_There are many right ways, and many wrong ways, though, aren't there?_

"Edward can we talk in our room for a minute?"

"Of course, love. You never have to ask."

Ever so gently Edward lifted me into his arms, carrying me bridal style into our bedroom on the third floor. I knew this would be hard for both of us, and no doubt it would be extremely detailed in one of the books from my thoughts. However I needed to tell him everything. I'd hidden the pain I went through during that period when he was gone because I didn't want to make him hurt any more than he already was. Once Edward rested me slowly onto the bed, I looked at the duvet cover suddenly finding it completely fascinating. The mattress sunk slightly as I felt Edward sit down, wrapping his arms around my waist and his head against my shoulder. I hated myself for what we were about to talk about. But I knew it would always hang over us if we didn't find closure.

"Bella, love what's wrong?"

"Hearing about your struggle on whether or not to leave back then. I started thinking. Maybe it's time we talked about _that_time."

"This is why you've been so quiet isn't it? Ever seen we've returned from LaPush."

"Yeah. For the first 4 months I pretty much gave up. I stayed indoors, ignoring everyone, I tried to email Alice, but she never received them. Looking back now I realise why they were changed. Then I went to a movie in Port Angeles, we saw these bikers and it reminded me of those guys when you saved me. I know all this will probably be in one of those books, I just I wanted you to hear it from me first."

"Go on, love. I agree we should have talked about this before now. I wouldn't want you to be changed and us not have resolved this completely."

"After seeing those guys, I moved forward a few steps, that's the first time I heard your voice in my head. That's when I realised when I was in a potentially dangerous situation, you came to me in my head, as if you were protecting me again. Of course you know that Jake and I rode motorcycles, but you don't know that it was my idea."

"You put yourself in danger because you wanted to hear my thoughts?"

"Yes."

"Oh Bella. Is there anything else?"

"The Cliff Dive. I went up there to hear your voice. Jake was out hunting Victoria with the pack. I didn't want to make Billy feel uncomfortable in his own house. I was stupid, I went to the top of the cliff, and your voice pleaded with me in my head to stop, to turn around and go back to Charlie. But I didn't listen."

"Bella are you…"

"I wanted to die. Yes. Jake pulled me out. Of course you know the rest. The minute Alice told me you were going to the Volturi I knew I needed you more than my own life."

I could feel Edward's body shaking behind me as sobs wracked through his body. Suddenly felt immensely guilty, this was the very reason why I hadn't said anything to him, because I knew he still blamed himself. Turning around slowly, I ran my fingers through his soft bronze hair, feeling his tearless sobs slow. Taking deep breaths I leaned my head against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything."

"Bella never be sorry for telling me how you felt."

"But your upset now."

"At myself."

"Don't, I forgave you a long time ago. I just needed to tell you."

"And I'm glad you did."

"Can we stay here. I don't think I can handle anymore just now."

"Of course we can."

Curling up in Edward's arms I closed my eyes slowly, for the first time since that horrible time in my life, I felt light, the huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders now that Edward knew how I was feeling. I knew that portion of the books was going to be difficult for both of us, this was the only way I knew how to prepare him for it. Familiar cool hands snaked up my PJ top coming to rest my baby bump. In that moment all my worries about what else we would find out in the books vanished, it was just Edward and I in our own little bubble. Before long we were back with the family getting ready to read the rest of the chapter.

**EPOV**

After Bella had opened up her heart to me about our time apart, I knew she felt better. I hated that she'd suffered through this pain in silence; however Bella being who she is, I knew she only did it to protect me. My heart broke as I remembered the look of utter devastation on her face as I walked away from her. Once she'd fallen asleep in my arms, I couldn't leave her side, thankfully everyone understood. My fingers trailed through her mahogany locks as she snuggled into my side, getting the much needed sleep she'd been fighting against. As I watched my Bella sleep, I made a decision to show her my journals from our time apart all the way through to our wedding day. She'd been so brave letting me know how she felt throughout that time in her life, the least I could do was repay her by allowing her into my thoughts and feelings of that time. Around an hour after our conversation, Bella started to stir, her breathing pattern changed followed by her beautiful chocolate eyes gazed up at me

"How long was I asleep?"

"About an hour. How are you?"

"I'm okay now. I'm sorry you had to hear it."

"Don't be sorry. I'm glad you did."

"I think I'm ready to read again now."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

"Alright."

Pulling Bella gently into my lap, I stood up heading downstairs toward the living room where everyone was waiting, it seemed like they hadn't moved since Bella and I went upstairs. Curling up on the couch I smiled as Bella nuzzled her head back into the crook of my neck. Rosalie once again had the book in her hands as she began to read where we left off.

**For a brief moment she was swept away into one of her strange visions; I watched along with her as the indistinct image flickered and whirled. I saw myself mixed in with strange shows that I couldn't make out – hazy, imprecise forms. And then, suddenly, my skin was flittering in the bright sunlight of a small open meadow. This was a place I knew. There was a figure in the meadow with me, but, again, it was indistinct, not **_**there **_**enough to recognise. The images shivered and disappeared as a million tiny choices rearranged the future again.**

"**I didn't catch much of that," I told her when the vision went dark.**

_**Me either. Your future is shifting around so much I can't keep up with any of it. I think, though…**_

**She stopped, and she flipped through a vast collection of other recent visions for me. They were all the same – blurry and vague.**

"**I **_**think **_**something is changing, though," she said out loud. "Your life seems to be at a crossroads."**

**I laughed grimly. "You do realise that you sound like a bogus gypsy at a carnival now, right?"**

**She stuck her tiny tongue out of me.**

"**Today is all right, though isn't it?" I asked my voice abruptly apprehensive.**

"**I don't see you killing anyone today," she assured me.**

"**Thanks, Alice."**

"Always said I would never bet against Alice."

"Mmm the little pixie does seem to have her own special way of getting what she wants."

"You wouldn't have it any other way Edward. Remember you gained a lot from me."

"That's true. I'm sorry for making fun of you."

"You're forgiven."

"Can I continue?"

"Sorry Rose."

"**Go get dressed. I won't say anything – I'll let you tell the others when you get ready."**

**She stood and darted back down the stairs, her shoulders hunched slightly. **_**Miss you. Really.**_

**Yes, I would miss her, too.**

**It was a quiet ride to school. Jasper could tell that Alice was upset about something, but he knew that if she wanted to talk about it she would have done so already. Emmett and Rosalie were oblivious, having another of their moments, gazing into each other's eyes with wonder – it was rather disgusting to watch from the outside. We were all quite aware how desperately in love they were. Or maybe I was just being bitter because I was the only one alone. Some days it was harder than others to live with three sets of perfectly matched lovers. This was one of them. Maybe they would all be happier without me hanging around, ill-tempered and belligerent as the old man I should be by now. Of course, the first thing I did when we reached the school was to look for the girl. Just preparing myself again. Right.**

**It was embarrassing how my world suddenly seemed empty of everything but her – my whole existence centred around myself anymore. It was easy enough to understand, though, really, after eighty years of the same thing every day and every night, any change became a point of absorption. **

"That's how I felt. Complete even when I was just sitting next to you in biology, then when I had to go to _Gym _I felt completely hollow inside. My every thought was about you and wondering what you were doing."

"I underestimated you. I never should have done that."

"I have a theory about the electric current."

"Oh and what's that, love."

"Well, it's the way a vampire finds their mate right?"

"Yes."

"Well I feel the current running between us also, so I was just wondering, if things had been reversed and you were the human and I was the vampire, you would become my singer."

"Carlisle is that possible?"

"She's right. Ever since you two got together I've been trying to work it out. The charge is how a vampire meets their mate."

"Wow."

"Wow is right, love."

"Edward can I…"

"Sorry, yes."

**BPOV**

I knew what was coming up next and I was completely terrified to find out what had happened, once Edward had arrived home after Tyler's van nearly crushed me. I knew it couldn't have been good because he ignored me for over a month. Something told me that the next part of this chapter would be far worse than anything else I'd find out.

**She had not yet arrived, but could I hear the thunderous chugging of her truck's engine in the distance. I leaned against the side of the car to wait. Alice stayed with me, while the others went straight to class. They were bored with my fixation – it was incomprehensible to them how any human could hold my interest for so long no matter how delicious she smelled. The girl drove slowly into view, her eyes intent on the road and her hands tight on wheel. She seemed anxious about something. It took me a second to figure out what that something was, to realise that every human wore the same expression today. Ah, the road was slick with ice and they were all trying to drive more carefully. I could see she was taking the added risk seriously. **

**That seemed to be in line with what little I had learned about her character. I added this to my small list: she was a serious person, a responsible person. She packed not too far from me, but she hadn't noticed me standing there yet. Staring at her. I wondered what she would do when she did. Blush and walk away? **

**That would be my first guess. But maybe she would stare back. Maybe she would come talk to me. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs hopefully, just in case. She got out of the truck with care, testing the slick ground before she put her weight on it. She didn't look up, and that frustrated me. Maybe I would go talk to her… Not that would be wrong. Instead of turning toward the school, she made her way to the rear of the truck, clinging to the side of the bed in a droll way, not trusting her footing**.

Snuggling closer to Edward I took deep breaths trying to tame my anxiety. I knew what was happening now and I knew the effect it had on me afterward. I wasn't sure I was ready to hear what Edward had gone through after risking everything to save me. And I'd acted like a complete and utter idiot afterward, when I knew why and he explained everything. Edward must have sensed my distress, either that or Jasper had told him, because his hands were running down my arms in a soothing motion.

"Oh no."

"What's wrong baby sis? What the glum look?"

"Oh I don't know Jazz maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"Oh what I'll hear. You do realise what is about to happen right?"

"Now what?"

"Tyler's Van. Edward's reaction. Not to mention everyone else's reaction."

"Oh."

"The sooner I read the quicker it's over."

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault."

**It made me smile, and I felt Alice's eyes on my face. I didn't listen to whatever this made her think – I was having too much fun watching the girl check her snow chains. She actually looked in some danger of falling, the way her feet were sliding around. No one else was having trouble – had she parked in the worst of the ice? She stared there, staring down with a strange expression on her face. It was… tender? As if something about the tire was making her…**_**emotional? **_**Again, the curiosity ached like a thirst. It was as if I **_**had **_**to know what she was thinking – as if nothing else mattered. I would go talk to her. She looked like she could use a hand anyway, at least until she was off the slick pavement. Of course, I couldn't offer her that, could I? I hesitated, torn. As adverse as she seemed to be to snow, she would hardly welcome the touch of my cold hand. I should have worn gloves -.**

"**NO!" Alice gasped aloud.**

**Instantly I scanned her thoughts, guessing at first that I had made a poor choice and she saw me doing something inexcusable. But it had nothing to do with me at all. Tyler Crowley had chosen to take the turn into the parking lot at an injudicious speed. This choice would send him skidding across a patch of ice…**

Burying my head into Edward's chest my arms instantly wrapped around his waist as I started to involuntary shake with fear. Even now sitting on Edward's lap that day would be one I wished never happened. Rosalie wouldn't have hated me from the beginning; Edward wouldn't have ignored me for a month, one long painful month. But most of all, Tyler wouldn't have felt the need to brainlessly come to my house to pick me up for prom. The only good part about that was already on my way to prom with Edward, even if he did trick me into it.

"Ssh, love I'm here. You're alright."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"Bella look at me."

Slowly I lifted my head looking into Edward's eyes. As usual I got lost in them.

"You are in no way at fault for what happened, neither am I. The one entirely at fault here was and always will be Tyler Crowley."

"I just wish you'd trusted me more."

"I wish I had done."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

**The vision came just half a second before the reality. Tyler's van rounded the corner as I was still watching the conclusion that had pulled the horrified gasp through Alice's lap. No, this vision had nothing to do with me, and yet it had **_**everything **_**to do with me, because Tyler's van – the tires right now hitting the ice at the worst possible angle - was going to spin across the lot and crash the girl who had become the uninvited focal point of my world. Even without Alice's foresight it would have been simple enough to read the trajectory of the vehicle, flying out of Tyler's control. The girl, standing in exactly the wrong place at the back of her truck, looked up, bewildered by the sound of the screeching tires. She looked straight into my horror struck eyes, and then turned to watch her approaching death.**

_**Not her! **_**The words shouted in my head as if they belonged to someone else. Still locked into Alice's thoughts, I saw the vision suddenly shift, but I had no time to see what the outcome would be. I launched myself across the lot, throwing myself between the skidding van and the frozen girl. I moved so fast that everything was a streaky blur except for the object of my focus. She didn't see me – no human eyes could have followed my flight – still staring at the hulking shape that was about to grind her body into the metal frame of her truck. I caught her around the waist, moving with too much urgency to be as gentle as she would need me to be. In the hundredth of a second between the time that I yanked her slight form out of the path of death and the time that I crashed into to the ground with her in my arms, I was vividly aware of her fragile, breakable body.**

"And then I had to spoil it by talking. I should have just thanked you and let it drop."

"Sweetheart, no one blames you for what happened. We all saw Tyler acting like an idiot."

"I know. I just… …ask too many questions."

"One of the things I love about you."

"The month that followed was the longest. Sitting so close and not being able to touch you."

"Another one of my stupid ideas."

"I'm scared/"

"Of what?"

"What is going to be said next?"

"A huge fight."

"You fought over me?"

"Quite a lot."

"Silly Vampires."

"You're right as usual."

"Always am."

**When I heard her head crack against the ice, it felt like I had turned to ice, too. But I didn't even have a full second to ascertain her condition. I heard the van behind us, grating and squealing as it twisted around the sturdy iron body of the girl's truck. It was changing the course, arcing, coming for her again – like she was a magnet, pulling it toward us. A word I'd never said before in the presence of a lady slid between my clenched teeth. I'd already done too much. And I'd nearly flown through the air to push her out of the way, I'd been fully aware of the mistake I was making. Knowing that it was a mistake didn't stop me, but I was not oblivious to the risk I was taking – taking, not just for myself but for my entire family. Exposure.**

**And **_**this **_**certainly wasn't going to help, but there was no way I was going to allow the van to succeed in its second attempt to take her life. I dropped her and threw my hands out, catching the van before it could touch the girl. The force of it hurled me back into the car parked beside her truck, and I could feel its frame buckle behind my shoulders. The van shuddered and shivered against the unyielding obstacle of my arms, and then swayed, balancing unstably on the two far tires. If I moved my hands, the back tires of the van was going to fall onto her legs. Oh for the **_**love **_**of **_**all **_**that was **_**holy**_**, would the catastrophes never end? Was there anything else that could go wrong? I could hardly sit here, holding the van in the air, and wait for rescue. Nor could I throw the van away – there was the driver to consider, his thoughts incoherent with panic. With an internal groan, I shoved the van so that it rocked away from us for an instant. As it fell back toward me, I caught it under the frame with my right hand while I wrapped my left arm around the girl's waist again and dragged her out from under the van, pulling her tight up against my side. Her body moved limply as I swung around so that her legs would be in the clear – was she conscious? How much damage had I done to her in my impromptu rescue attempt?**

"Dude could you-."

"SHUT UP! Just shut up Emmett. No one wants to hear it right now."

"Just trying to keep it light."

"Well you're not helping. If you want to help then be quiet. I need to hear this without interruptions."

"Fine."

**I left the van drop, now that it couldn't hurt her. It crashed to the pavement, all the windows chattering in unison. I knew I was in the middle of a crisis. How much had she seen? Had any other witnesses watched me materialize at her side and then juggle the van while I tried to keep her out from under it? These questions **_**should **_**be my biggest concern. But I was too anxious to really care about the threat of exposure as much as I should. Too panic-stricken that I might have injured her myself in my effort to protect her. Too frightened to have her this close to me, knowing what I would smell if I allowed myself to inhale. Too aware of the heat of her soft body, pressed against mine – even through the double obstacle of our jackets, I could feel that heat… The first fear was the greatest fear. As the screaming of the witnesses erupted around us, I leaned down to examine her face, to see if she was conscious – hoping fiercely that she was not bleeding anywhere. Her eyes were open, staring in shock**_** .**_

"**Bella?" I asked urgently. "Are you alright?" **

"**I'm fine," She said the words automatically in a dazed voice.**

**Relief, so exquisite it was nearly pain, washed through me at the sound of her voice. I sucked in a breath through my teeth, and did not mind the accompanying burn in my throat. I almost welcomed it. She struggled to sit up, but I was not ready to release her. It felt somehow…safer? Better, at least, having her tucked to my side.**

"Because that's where I belong."

"Always, love. I didn't think I could ever be as happy as I am right now. Knowing that you chose me."

"There wasn't a choice. It's always been you. No one can ever make me feel the way you do."

I blushed burying my head slightly into Edward's chest.

"You are my life, without you I'm nothing."

"I haven't got a heart without you."

"Awww so sweet."

"Way to make us look bad dude."

"Just because I know how to treat my wife."

"Whipped."

"Actually Emmett you could learn a thing or two from your brothers."

"Suck up."

"Jealous much."

"Shut it lil sis."

I giggled poking my tongue out.

"**Be careful," I warned her. "I think you hit your head petty hard."**

**There had been no smell of fresh blood – a mercy, that – but this didn't rule out internal damage. I was abruptly anxious to get her to Carlisle and a full complement of radiology equipment. **

"**Ow," she said, her tone comically shocked as she realised I was right about her head.**

"**That's what I thought." Relief made it funny to me, made me almost giddy.**

"**How in the…" Her voice trailed off, and her eyelids fluttered. "How did you get over here so fast?"**

_And hear it starts. I never did thank you properly for that._

"There's no need sweetheart. Please remember this is the past. They may be difficult to read but I don't feel these things anymore. Only happiness."

"I'm home when I'm in your arms."

"You two alright to read again?"

"Mmhm."

**The relief turned sour, the humour vanished. She **_**had **_**noticed too much. Now that it appeared that the girl was in decent shape, the anxiety for my family became severe.**

"**I was standing right next to you Bella."**

**I knew from experience that if I was very confident as I lied, it made any questions less sure of the truth. She struggled to move again and this time I allowed it. I needed to breathe so that I could play my role correctly. I needed space from her warm blooded heat so that it would combine with her scent to overwhelm me. I slid away from her, as far as was possible in the small space between the wrecked vehicles. She stared up at me, and I stared back. To look away first was a mistake only an incompetent liar would make, and I was not an incompetent liar. My expression was smooth; benign…It seemed to confuse her. That was good. The accident scene was surrounded now. Mostly students, children, peering and pushing through the cracks to see if any mangled bodies were visible. **

**There was a babble of shouting and a gush of shocked thought. I scanned the thoughts once to make sure there were no suspicions yet, and then turned it out and concentrated only on the girl. She was distracted by the bedlam. She glanced around; her expression still stunned, and tried to get to her feet. I put my hand lightly on her shoulder to hold her down. **

"**Just stay put for now." She **_**seemed **_**alright, but should she really be moving her neck? Again, I wished for Carlisle. My years of theoretical medical study were no match for his centuries of hands-on medical practice.**

"**But it's cold," she objected.**

"Only you Bella only you."

"What do you mean by that Alice?"

"Any normal human would have accepted it and stayed down, but you, you had to object."

"I thought we established by now that I'm no normal human."

"Got that right."

"Well at least it's better than being a strange vampire like you Emm."

"Hey!"

"Can't take it don't dish it out."

"You know you're getting too bossy."

"And that's a bad thing how?"

"I… …I. Gah! I'll think of payback."

"Have fun with that."

**She had almost been crushed to death two distinct times and crippled one more, and it was the cold that worried her. A chuckle slid through my teeth before I could remember that the situation wasn't funny. Bella blinked, and then her eyes focused on my face. **

"**You were over there."**

**That sobered me up again. She glanced toward the south, though there was nothing to see now but the crumpled side of the van. **

"**You were by your car."**

"**No I wasn't."**

"**I saw you," she insisted; her voice was childlike when she was being stubborn. Her chin jutted out.**

"**Bella, I was standing with you, and I pulled you out of the way.**

**I stared deeply into her wide eyes, trying to will her into accepting my version – the only rational version on the table. **

**Her jaw set. "No."**

**I tried to stay calm, to not panic. If only I could keep her quiet for a few moments, to give me a chance to destroy the evidence…and undermine her story by disclosing her head injury. Shouldn't it be easy to keep this silent, secretive girl quiet? If only she would trust me, just for a few moments…**

"**Please, Bella," I said, and my voice was too intense, because I suddenly **_**wanted **_**her to trust me. Wanted it badly, and not just in regards to this accident. A stupid desire. What sense would it make for her to trust **_**me**_**?"**

"**Why?" she asked still defensive. **

"**Trust me," I pleaded.**

"**Will you promise to explain everything to me later?"**

"You know if you'd just have explained to me. I never would have tried to… …_flirt with Jacob._"

"I know, love. I should have told you."

"Hey! What did she ask?"

"Nothing to do with you."

"Spoil sport."

"No doubt it will be in these books. It appears nothing is private anymore."

"Welcome to our world."

"Rose?"

"Yes Bella?"

"Would you revoke all rights to sex with Emmett if he don't stop winding us up?"

"I'd be glad to."

"That's not playing fair."

**It made me angry to have to lie to her again; when I wished so much that I could somehow deserve her trust. So when I answered her, it was a retort.**

"**Fine."**

"**Fine," she echoed in the same tone.**

**While the rescue attempt began around us – adults arriving, authorities called sirens in the distance – I tried to ignore the girl and get my priorities in the right order. I searched through every mind in the lot, the witnesses and the latecomers both, but I could find nothing dangerous. Many were surprised to see me here beside Bella, but concluded – as there was no other conclusion – that they had just not noticed me standing by the girl before the accident. She was the only one who didn't accept the easy explanation, but she would be considered the least reliable witness. She had been frightened, traumatized, not to mention sustaining the blow to the head. Possibly in shock. It would be acceptable for her story to be confused, wouldn't it? No one would give it much credence above so many other spectators. I winced when I caught the thoughts of Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett, just arriving on the scene. There would be hell to pay tonight. I wanted to iron out the indention my shoulders had made against the tan car; nut the girl was too close. I'd have to wait until she was distracted. It was frustrating to wait – so many eyes on me – as the humans struggled with the van, trying to pull it away from us. I might have helped them, just to speed the process, but I was already in enough trouble and the girl had sharp eyes. Finally, they were able to shift it far enough away for the EMTs to get to us with their stretchers.**

**A familiar grizzled face appraised me.**

"**Hey, Edward," Brett Warner said. He was also a registered nurse, and I knew him well from the hospital. It was a stroke of luck – the only luck today that he was the first through to us. In his thoughts, he was noting I looked alert and calm. "You okay, kid?"**

"**Perfect, Brett. Nothing touched me. But I'm afraid Bella here might have a concussion. She really hit her head when I yanked her out of the way…"**

_Traitor._

"You do know I only said that because I was scared I'd hurt you right?"

_I do now, but at the time I found it annoying."_

"I'm sorry, love. Truly."

_I know. The minute I found out you were a vampire I forgave you for it. You were just protecting your family. You weren't to know I wouldn't have told anyone anyways._

"That's true."

"What are you two secretly talking about now?"

"None of your business if it were I'd have talked out loud."

"That is going to get annoying quickly."

"Aww poor you. So are your pranks but we put up with them?"

"Ooooh burn."

"Shut up Jazz. Just watch lil sis, sometime, somewhere you'll pay for this."

"Like to you see you try it big brother."

"That a challenge."

"Hell yeah."

**Brett turned his attention to the girl, who shot me a fierce look of betrayal. Oh, that was right. She was the quiet martyr – she'd prefer to suffer in silence. She didn't contradict my story immediately, though, and this made me feel easier. The next EMT tried to insist that I allow myself to be treated, but it wasn't too difficult to dissuade him. I promised I would let my father examine me, and he let it go. With most humans, speaking with cool assurance was all that was needed. Most humans, just not the girl, of course. Did she fit into **_**any **_**of the normal patterns? As they put a neck brace on her – and her face flushed scarlet with embarrassment – I used the moment of distraction to quietly rearrange the shape of the dent in the tan car with the back of my foot. Only my siblings noticed what I was doing and I heard Emmett's mental promise to catch anything I missed. **

**Grateful for his help – and more grateful that Emmett, at least, had already forgiven my dangerous choice – I was more relaxed as I climbed into the front seat of the ambulance next to Brett. The chief of police arrived before they had gotten Bella into the back of the ambulance. Though Bella's father's thoughts were past words, the panic and concern emanating out of the man's mind drowned out just about every other thought in the vicinity. Wordless anxiety and guilt, a great swell of them, washed out of him as he saw his only daughter on the gurney. Washed out of him and through me, echoing and growing stronger. When Alice had warned me that killing Charlie Swan's daughter would kill him too, she had not been exaggerating.**

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Alice language."

"Sorry Esme. He can just be such an idiot at times."

"Are you saying that you wouldn't have been this way if Jasper was human when you met him. I was human when Carlisle first found me if you remember. You all gave him a hard time at one point or another because he was confused over what to do. Rosalie is the only one who knows what it feels like."

"I guess I didn't think of it that way."

"Well it's about time you did. All of you, do I make myself clear?"

"Yes Mom."

"Good."

**My head bowed with that guilt as I listened to his panicked voice.**

"**Bella!" he shouted.**

"**I'm completely fine, Char – Dad." She sighed. "There's nothing wrong with me."**

**Her assurance barely soothed his dread. He turned at once to the closest EMT and demanded more information. It wasn't until I heard him speaking, forming perfectly coherent sentences despite his panic that I realised his anxiety and concern were **_**not **_**wordless. I just…couldn't hear the exact words. Hmm, Charlie Swan was not as silent as his daughter, but I could see where she got it from. Interesting. I'd never spent much time around the town's police chief. I'd always taken him for a man of slow thought – now I realised that **_**I **_**was the one who was slow. His thoughts were partially concealed, not absent. I could only make out the tenor, the tone of them…**

**I wanted to listen harder, to see if I could find this new, lesser puzzle, the key to the girl's secrets. But Bell was loaded into the back by then, and the ambulance was on its way. It was hard to tear myself away from this possible solution to the mystery that had come to obsess me. But I had to think now – to look at what had been done today from every angle. I had to listen to make sure that I had not put us all in so much danger that we would have to leave immediately. I had to concentrate. **

**There was nothing in the thoughts of the EMTs to worry me. As far as they could tell, there was nothing seriously wrong with the girl. And Bella was sticking to the story I'd provided. The first priority, when we reached the hospital, was to see Carlisle. I hurried through the automatic doors, but I was unable to totally forgo watching after Bella; I kept my eye on her through the paramedics' thoughts. It was easy to find my father's familiar mind. He was in his small office, all alone – the second stroke of luck in the luckless day. **

"**Carlisle."**

"Rose can you stop for a minute. I'm not feeling so good."

"Of course."

Hopping off Edward's lap, I took hold of his hand dragging him with me, I didn't have his vampire hearing but I had been hearing funny noises coming from his stomach, he shouldn't have to suffer this. Reaching the bathroom just in time I bent over the porcelain god getting sick. Whoever called this morning sickness needed shooting. Leaning my head against the wall, I felt Edward's cold skin touch my arm as he followed suit ridding himself of the nausea he felt. Once I'd managed to calm my upset stomach I leant against Edward's cool skin nuzzling my head into his neck.

"Better, love?"

"Not really, but it's manageable I just hate that you're feeling it also."

"I wouldn't change it."

"Really? Why?"

"Because I know what you're going through now. How you handle everything."

"Love you."

"Love you too sweetheart."

Suddenly I heard Carlisle's voice. I was so lost in Edward's scent I hadn't even heard him enter the bathroom.

"Edward, how long have you been feeling Bella's nausea?"

"A couple of days. I suspected it but it wasn't confirmed until we both got sick outside Newton's store."

"Have you felt an emotional shift?"

"Yes."

"Just as I thought. Sympathy Symptoms."

"Does this mean I'll feel everything. How long before the nausea stops."

"A few months. I'm sorry son."

"It's okay. This actually makes it easier for when Charlie comes."

"I guess you're right. Would you like to continue or take a break?"

"Continue."

"Alright."

Five minutes later we were seated back around the table. I knew he would need to hunt properly tonight, and as much as I hated it when I was apart from him. I knew he needed to feed to keep himself strong for me and the baby. Nuzzling my head back into his shoulder, I closed my eyes ass I listened to Rosalie begin to read again.

**He'd heard my approach, and was alarmed as soon as he saw my face. He jumped to his feet, his face paling to bone white. He leaned across the neatly organised walnut desk.**

_**Edward - you didn't –**_

"**No, no, it's not that."**

**He took a deep breath. **_**Of course not. I'm sorry I entertained the thought. Your eyes, of course, I should have known… **_**He noted my still golden eyes with relief. **

"**She's hurt though, Carlisle, probably not seriously, but-."**

"**What happened?"**

"**A stupid car accident. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. But I couldn't just stand there – let it crush her -."**

_**Start over, I don't understand. How were you involved?**_

"**A van skidded across the ice," I whispered. **

**I stared at the wall behind him while I spoke. Instead of a throng of framed diplomas, he had one simple painting – a favourite of his, an undiscovered Hassam. **

"**She was in the way. Alice saw it coming, but there wasn't time to do anything but really **_**run **_**across the lot and shove her out of the way. No one noticed…except for her. I had to stop the van, too, but again nobody saw…besides her. I'm…I'm sorry Carlisle. I didn't mean to put us in danger."**

**He circled the desk and put his hand on my shoulder.**

_**You did the right thing. And it couldn't have been easy for you. I'm proud of you, Edward.**_

**I couldn't look him in the eye then.**

"**She knows there's something…wrong with me."**

"**That doesn't matter. If we have to leave, we leave. What has she said?"**

**I shook my head, a little frustrated. **

"**Nothing yet."**

_**Yet.**_

"**She agreed to my version of events – but she's expecting an explanation."**

**He frowned, pondering this.**

"**She hit her head – well, I did that," I continued quickly. I knocked her to the ground fairly hard. She seems fine, but…I don't think it will take much to discredit her account."**

_You really thought I'd tell someone didn't you?_

"I'm sorry, love. I should have trusted you more."

_It's okay. I understand. I was the strange human who caught your attention. That worked both ways you know._

"Explain please."

_Well you were the strange boy, who was in my every thought. I wanted to be close to you but you just pushed me away._

"I'm an idiot."

_No you're not. You were experiencing a lot of feelings, feelings that you didn't understand._

"Hey! Why don't you say things out loud?"

"Oh I don't know maybe because it's private."

"Humph!"

**I felt like a cad just saying the words. Carlisle heard the distaste in my words.**

_**Perhaps that won't be necessary. Let's see what happens, shall we? It sounds like I have a patient to check on.**_

"**Please," I said. "I'm so worried I hurt her."**

**Carlisle's expression brightened. He smoothed his fair hair – just a few shades lighter than his golden eyes – and he laughed. **

_**It's been an interesting day for you, hasn't it? **_

**In his mind, I could see the irony, and it was humorous, at least him. Quite the reversal of roles. Somewhere during the short thoughtless second when I'd sprinted across the icy lot, I had transformed from killer to protector. I laughed, remembering how sure I'd been that Bella would never need protecting from anything more than myself. There was an edge to my laugh because, van notwithstanding, that was still entirely true. **

Peeking it out from Edward's, I looked at Alice. I knew instantly she got what I was trying to say as the smile ghosted onto her face. Edward looked down at me, confusion written all over his face. Before he had a chance to ask what was going through my mind Alice's hand made contact with his head twice.

"Oww, Alice what the hell was that for?"

"That my dear brother was for Bella. You should know by now that you are the only one she allows to protect her. Even back then when she didn't know why you were being so cryptic."

"I'm sorry sweetheart."

"I understand more now. It still hurts to hear you think I don't need you though."

"I'll always need you."

"Forever."

"Forever."

"Can I continue?"

"Mm."

**I waited alone in Carlisle's office – one of the longest hours I'd ever lived – listening to the hospital full of thoughts. Tyler Crowley, the van's driver**,** looked to be hurt worse than Bella and the attention shifted to him while she waited her turn to be X-rayed. Carlisle kept in the background, trusting the PA's diagnosis that the girl was only slightly injured. This made me anxious, but I knew he was right. One glance at his face and she would be immediately reminded of me, of the fact that there was something not right about my family and that might set her talking. She certainly had a willing enough partner to converse with. Tyler was consumed with guilt over the fact that he had almost killed her, and he couldn't seem to shut up about it. I could see her expression through his eyes, and it was clear that she wished he would stop. How did he not see that? There was a tense moment for me when Tyler asked her how she'd gotten out of the way. I waited, not breathing, as she hesitated. **

_**Edward Cullen,**_**" she said, when Tyler didn't realise who she meant. I found myself at the door, my hand on the knob. The desire to see her was growing up stronger. I had to remind myself of the need for caution.**

_**He was standing next to me.**_

_**Cullen? Huh. That's weird. I didn't see him. I could have sworn… Wow, it was all so fast, I guess. Is he okay?"**_

_**I think so. He's here somewhere, but they didn't make him use a stretcher.**_

**I saw the thoughtful look on her face, the suspicious tightening of her eyes, but these little changes in her expression were lost on Tyler. **

_**She's pretty, **_**he was thinking almost in surprise. **_**Even all messed up. Not my usual type, still… I should take her out. Make up for today…**_

"And that's where Lauren's hatred of me stems from. Pretty much the same way Jess was over Mike's fantasies about me. The only one I have ever wanted is Edward. That will never change. The more I hear the more I want to put all of them in their place, it's not like they'll see us again. Only Angela and Ben will have that privilege."

"I'm starting to understand why Edward was so angry all the time now."

"Jazz trust me, he wasn't the only one. I never showed any interest in any of them but they wouldn't take no for an answer. Tyler even showed up at Charlie's whilst we were on our way to prom. It was embarrassing."

"Isn't there anything we can do?"

"Well, you could tell Charlie. I know it was a few years ago but still he could put some fear in him."

"Now I like the sound of that, and none of us will be getting into trouble."

"Edward?"

"Yes, love."

"I'm not going to like what happens next am I?"

"No, I'm sorry."

"No need. You were just trying to protect me even though you didn't realise it."

"I don't deserve you."

"Yes you do."

Love you."

I love you too."

**I was out in the hall, then, halfway to the emergency room, without thinking for one second about what I was doing. Luckily, the nurse entered the room before I could – it was Bella's turn for X-rays. I leaned against the wall in a dark nook just around the corner, and tried to get a grip on myself while she was wheeled away. It didn't matter that Tyler thought she was pretty. Anyone would notice that. There was no reason for me to feel…how **_**did **_**I feel? Annoyed? Or was **_**angry **_**close to the truth? That made no sense at all. I stayed where I was for as long as I could, but impatience got the best of me and I took a back way around to the radiology room. She'd already been moved back to the ER, but I was able to take a peek at her x-rays while the nurse's bar was turned. I felt calm when I had. Her head was fine. I hadn't hurt her, not really. Carlisle caught me there.**

_**You look better**_**, he commented.**

**I just looked straight ahead. We weren't alone, the halls full of orderlies and visitors. **

_**Ah, yes. **_**He stuck her x-rays to the light board, but I didn't need a second look. **_**I see. She's absolutely fine. Well done, Edward.**_

**The sound of my father's approval created a mixed reaction in me. I would have been pleased, except that I knew that he would not approve of what I was going to do now. At least, he would not approve if he knew my real motivations…**

"**I think I'm going to talk to her – before she sees you," I murmured under my breath. "Act natural like nothing happened. Smooth it over." All acceptable reasons. **

**Carlisle nodded absently, still looking over the x-rays. "Good idea. Hmm."**

**I looked to see what had his interest.**

_**Look at all the healed contusions! How many times did her mother drop her? **_**Carlisle laughed to himself at his joke.**

"I'm sure you guessed by now I'm clumsy."

"Indeed I have. But we still love you."

"Even though I've put you all in more danger than before you met me?"

"Even then. You complete this family Bella. In more ways than just being Edward's mate."

"How?"

"You're our daughter. The best friend Alice never had. You've already witnessed what Emmett and Jasper would do for you. Not to mention Edward. We may have been with him for over 90 years, however we've only seen the real him the past two years since he met and fell in love with you."

"I love you to. I never fitted in anywhere before. But now I found my place in the world. As a Cullen, as Edward's mate."

"Whipped."

"Emmett?"

"Yeah lil sis."

"I'll make a deal with you?"

"How much?"

"Not money?"

"What then?"

"If you can be nice and not tease Edward then you all have permission to buy me stuff without complaining. Including Bella Barbie."

"And if I win?"

"You can't tease Edward ever again. Not even in your thoughts."

"Deal."

"**I'm beginning to think the girl just has really bad luck. Always the wrong place at the wrong time."**

_**Forks is certainly the wrong place for her, with you here.**_

**I flinched.**

_**Go ahead. Smooth things over. I'll join you momentarily.**_

**I walked away quickly, feeling guilty. Perhaps I was too good a liar, if I could fool Carlisle. When I got to the ER, Tyler was mumbling under his breath still apologising. The girl was trying to escape his remorse by pretending to sleep. Her eyes were closed, but her breathing wasn't even, and not and then her fingers would twitch impatiently. I stared at her face for a long moment. This was the first time I would see her. That fact triggered an acute aching in my chest. Was it because I hated to leave any puzzle unsolved? That didn't seem like enough of an explanation.**

"Edward the ache in your chest. Did it feel like someone had punched a hole through it?"

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"That's how it felt for me. When you were _gone_. My heart wasn't there anymore because it's always been yours."

"Oh my Bella. I really messed things up back then. If I could do it over I wouldn't leave."

"I know. But in a weird way I think it was meant to happen?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well look at the facts. Ever since you first smelt my blood, you'd been looking for ways to leave. To keep me away from the monster that in my eyes, doesn't exist. If it hadn't have been my birthday, it would have been something else."

"She does have a point son."

"You have to move on. You can't keep blaming yourself for something I forgave you for a year ago. We have so much to look forward to. A baby on the way, our forever together. Don't let something hold you back."

"When did you become the smart one?"

"I've always been the smart one; I just let you have your way."

"I'll stop blaming myself."

"Thank you."

"Anything for you my Bella."

**Finally, I took a deep breath and moved into view. When Tyler saw me, he started to speak but I put my finger to my lips.**

"**Is she sleeping?" I murmured.**

**Bella's eyes snapped open and focused on my face. They widened momentarily and then narrowed in anger or suspicion. I remembered that I had a role to play, so I smiled at her as if nothing unusual had happened this morning – besides a blow to her head and a bit of imagination run wild. **

"**Hey Edward," Tyler said. "I'm really sorry-."**

**I raised one hand to halt his apology. "No blood, no foul," I said wryly. Without thinking, I smiled too widely at my private joke. It was amazingly easy to ignore Tyler, lying no more than four feet from me, covered in fresh blood. I'd never understood how Carlisle was able to do that – ignore the blood of his patients in order to treat them. Wouldn't the constant temptation be so distracting, so dangerous…? But, now…I could see how, if you were focusing on something else **_**hard **_**enough, the temptation would be nothing at all. Even fresh and exposed, Tyler's blood had nothing on Bella's. I kept my distance from her, seating myself on the foot of Tyler's mattress. **

"**So what's the verdict?" I asked her**

**Her lower lip pushed out a little. "There's nothing wrong with me at all, but they won't let me go. How come you aren't strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?"**

**Her impatience made me smile again. I could hear Carlisle in the hallway now.**

"**It's all about who you know," I said lightly. "But don't worry, I came to spring you."**

**I watched her reaction carefully as my father entered the room. Her eyes widened and her mouth actually fell open in surprise. I groaned internally. Yes, she'd certainly noticed the resemblance. **

"Seriously Edward, you didn't expect me to see the similarities. How could I not?"

"You're entirely too perceptive Mrs Cullen."

"Well you're entirely too good looking for your own good. But you don't hear any complaints from me."

"I love you sweetheart."

"Love you too my Edward."

"Aww so sweet."

"Bro you're making us look bad."

"Maybe you should think of a way to rectify that. Before Alice has her revenge."

_Stupid Mind Reader._

"Love you too Jazz."

"**So, Miss Swan, how are you feeling?" Carlisle asked. He had a wonderfully soothing bedside manner that put most patients at ease within moments. I couldn't tell how it affected Bella.**

"**I'm fine," she said quietly.**

**Carlisle clipped her X-rays to the light board by the bed. "Your X-ray looks good. Does your head hurt? Edward said you hit it pretty hard."**

**She sighed, and said "I'm fine," again, but this time impatience leaked into her voice. Then she glowered in my direction. Carlisle stepped closer to her and ran his fingers gently over her scalp until he found the bump under her hair. I was caught off guard by the wave of emotion that crashed over me. I had seen Carlisle work with humans a thousand times. Years ago, I had even assisted him informally – though only in situations where blood was not involved. So it wasn't a new thing to me, to watch me interact with the girl as if he were as much as she was. I'd envied his control many times, but that was not the same as this emotion. I envied him more than his control. I ached for the difference between Carlisle and me – that he could touch her so gently, without fear, knowing he would never harm her… She winced, and I twitched in my seat. I had to concentrate for a moment to keep my relaxed posture.**

"**Tender?" Carlisle asked.**

**Her chin jerked up a fraction. "Not really," she said.**

**Another small piece of her character fell into place, she was brave. She didn't like to show weakness. Possibly the most vulnerable creature I'd ever seen and she didn't want to seem weak. A chuckle slid through my lips. She shot another glare at me. **

"**Well," Carlisle said. "Your father is in the waiting room – you can go home with him now. But come back if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all."**

"You do realise after this, I had a three hour conversation with Renee. I still haven't forgiven Charlie for telling her."

"Sweetheart she's your mother, she's going to worry."

"I know, Esme and it's not that I don't appreciate her concern just she can get over enthusiastic. I'm sure her mind is just as scattered as her words."

"You have no idea."

"Wish I did."

"Childlike would be a good word for it."

"Now that I can believe."

"Can I read now."

"Sorry."

"It's okay. We're nearing the end of the chapter I think."

**Her father was here? I swept through the thoughts of the crowded waiting room, but I couldn't pick his subtle mental voice out of the group before she was speaking again, her face anxious. **

"**Can't I go back to school?"**

"**Maybe you should take it easy today," Carlisle suggested.**

**Her eyes flickered back to me. "Does **_**he **_**get to go to school?"**

**Act normal, smooth things over…ignore the way it feels when she looks me in the eye…**

"**Someone has to spread the good news that we survived," I said.**

"**Actually," Carlisle corrected, "most of the school seems to be in the waiting room."**

**I anticipated her reaction this time – her aversion to attention. She didn't disappoint.**

"**Oh no," she moaned, as she put her hands over her face.**

**I like that I'd finally guessed right. I was beginning to understand her.**

"**Do you want to stay?" Carlisle asked.**

"**No, no!" she said quickly, swinging her legs over the side of the mattress and sliding down until her feet were on the floor. She stumbled forward, off-balance, into Carlisle's arms. He caught and steadied her. Again the envy flooded through me.**

"**I'm fine," she said before he could comment, faint pink in her cheeks. **

**Of course, that wouldn't bother Carlisle. He made sure she was balanced, and then dropped her hands.**

"**Take some Tylenol for the pain," he instructed. **

"**It doesn't hurt that bad."**

**Carlisle smiled as he signed her chart. "It sounded like you were extremely lucky."**

**She turned her face slightly, to stare at me with hard eyes. "Lucky Edward happened to be standing next to me."**

"**Oh, well, yes," Carlisle agreed quickly, hearing the same thing in her voice that I heard. She hadn't written her suspicions off as imagination. Not yet.**

_**All yours, **_**Carlisle thought. **_**Handle it as you think best.**_

"**Thanks so much," I whispered, quick and quiet. Neither human heard me. Carlisle's lip turned up a tiny bit at my sarcasm as he turned to Tyler. **

"**I'm afraid **_**you'll **_**have to stay with us just a little longer," he said as he began examining the slashes left by the shattered windshield. **

**Well, I'd made the mess, so it was only fair that I had to deal with it. Bella walked deliberately toward me, not stopping until she was uncomfortably close. I remembered how I had hoped, before all the mayhem, that she would approach me.. This was like a mockery of that wish.**

_You'll never win against me you know. I can tell when you're lying to me._

"I know. I have definitely learnt not to keep you in the dark anymore."

_Especially when I'm going to be going through so many changes._

"You're doing amazingly."

_You're biased._

"You're beautiful."

I couldn't help but blush by Edward's compliment. Resting my hand over my tummy, I rubbed it gently, snuggling into the cook of his neck again. I knew the next part of the chapter would be the hardest part, however I knew in the long run it would be beneficial as we would become stronger. Inhaling his scent I managed to calm my nerves just as Edward's arm wrapped around my waist coming to rest on the side of my small bump. Before I could register the butterflies in my stomach I heard Rosalie's voice as she continued to read.

"**Can I talk to you for a minute?" she hissed at me.**

**Her warm breath brushed against my face and I had to stagger back a step. Her appeal had not abated one bit. Every time she was near me, it triggered all my worst, most urgent instincts. Venom flowed in my mouth and my body yearned to stroke – to wrench her into my arms and crush her throat to my teeth. My mind was stronger than my body, but only just. **

"**Your father is waiting for you," I reminded her, my jaw clenched right.**

**She glanced toward Carlisle and Tyler. Tyler was paying us no attention at all, but Carlisle was monitoring my every breath.**

_**Carefully, Edward.**_

"**I'd like to speak to you alone, if you don't mind," she insisted in a low voice. **

**I wanted to tell her that I did mind very much, but I knew I would have to do this eventually. I may as well get on with it. I was full of so many conflicting emotions as I stalked out of the room, listening to her stumbling footsteps behind me, trying to keep up. I had a show to put on now. I knew the role I would play – I had the character down. I would be the villain. I would lie and ridicule and be cruel. It went against all my better impulse – the human impulses that I'd clung to through all these years. I'd never wanted to deserve trust more than in this moment, when I had to destroy all possibility of it. It made it worse to know that this would be the last memory she would have of me. This was my farewell scene.**

_Never bet against Alice._

"Trust me my love. I won't be anymore."

_Good. Because you'll always lose. I am hoping I win this bet with Emmett. It'll make Alice happy and you get to buy me a new car._

"Now that is one thing I am looking forward to."

"What are you two talking about?"

"Well Alice, I was just telling Edward never to bet against you. Because you always win. He tried to take himself away from me and in the end look where we are. Right where you saw us to be in your vision."

"You got that one right Bella. And I'm really hoping you win that bet."

"I will."

**I turned on her.**

"**What do you want?" I asked coldly.**

**She cringed back slightly from my hostility. Her eyes turned bewildered; the expression that had haunted me…**

"**You owe me an explanation," she said in a small voice; her ivory face blanched. It was very hard to keep my breath harsh. **

"**I saved your lift – I don't owe you anything."**

**She flinched – it burned like acid to watch my words hurt her.**

"**You promised," she whispered.**

"**Bella, you hit your head, you don't know what you're talking about."**

**Her chin came up then, "There's nothing wrong with my head."**

**She was angry now, and that made it easier for me. I met her glare, making my face more unfriendly.**

"**What do you want from me Bella?"**

"**I want to know the truth. I want to know why I'm lying for you."**

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, I can't believe you would be so disrespectful."

"Sorry. This was uncalled for. I was scared. I wasn't used to what I was feeling. It's one of the long list of things I regret."

"Good you should regret it. We taught you better than this."

_You do realise this only made me more determined. Nothing was going to stop me. I loved you. I have always loved you and I will continue to love you for eternity._

I love you too my Bella."

**What she wanted was only fair – it frustrated me to have to deny her. **

"**What do you **_**think **_**happened?" I nearly growled at her.**

**Her words poured out in a torrent. "All I know is that you weren't anywhere near me – Tyler didn't see you, either, so don't tell me I hit my head too hard. That van was going to crush us both – and it didn't, and your hands left dents in the side of it – and you left a dent in the other car, and you're not hurt at all – and the van should have smashed my legs, but you were holding it up…"**

"Well we definitely had no chance of hiding who we were. Even without Jacob's assistance you'd have found out."

"I was pretty close Jake just confirmed my suspicions."

"Rose, I just want you to know, I have never blamed you for the way you were when we first met. You didn't want to move again. I can understand that more than you realise. Forks has become my home. Charlie is here. Yet I know one day we will need to leave."

"I guess I didn't think of it that way."

"What really made me understand you, your views on me being a vampire, was the day you told me your story. That's when I first started to consider Edward's proposal."

"Really?"

"Mm. And I never dreamt of becoming a mother, and when I met Edward and I thought we couldn't have children, it didn't matter to me, because I wouldn't want any other man's baby. Then when we found out I was pregnant, it was the best news. I finally was able to give Edward his dream."

"Wow."

I blushed burying my head into Edward's chest.

**Suddenly, she clenched her teeth together and her eyes were glistening with unshed tears. I stared at her, my expression derisive, though what I really felt was awe; she had seen everything.**

"**You think I lifted a van off you?" I asked sarcastically.**

**She answered with a stiff nod. **

**My voice grew more mocking. "Nobody will believe that you know."**

**She made an effort to control her anger. When she answered me, she spoke each word with slow deliberation. "I'm not going to tell anybody."**

**She meant it – I could see that in her eyes. Even furious and betrayed, she would keep my secret. **_**Why? **_**The shock of it ruined my carefully designed expression for half a second, and then I pulled myself together.**

"**Then why does it matter?" I asked, working to keep my voice severe.**

"**It matters to me," she said intensely. "I don't like to lie – so there better be a good reason why I'm doing it."**

**She was asking me to trust her. Just as I wanted her to trust me. But this was a line I couldn't cross.**

_How's that plan working out for you?_

"Just fine thank you. I thought you said no teasing me?

_That was Emmett's deal not mine. I thought you always wanted to hear your thoughts. Do you want me to close my mind again?_

"No I don't. I love your thoughts."

_Fair enough. Deal with the teasing and I imagine by the way this is going Alice hitting you._

"Alright."

_Love you._

"Love you too."

**My voice stayed callous. "Can't you just thank me and get it over with?"**

"**Thank you," she said, and then fumed silently, waiting.**

"**You're not going to let it go, are you?"**

"**No."**

"**In that case…" I couldn't tell her the truth if I wanted to…and I **_**didn't **_**want to. I'd rather she made up her own story than know what I was, because nothing could be worse than the truth – I was a living nightmare, straight from the pages of a horror novel. "I hope you enjoy disappointment."**

Concentrating really hard I glanced over Edward's bare torso finding the side of his stomach a good place for my revenge. I'd noticed throughout the chapter that my skin seemed to be a little denser than normal. Moving my hand slightly I elbowed Edward in the side, giggling as I saw the pained look on his face.

"What was that for?"

"You don't dare call yourself a nightmare again do you hear me Cullen?"

"Ooooh you're in trouble now bro."

"Shut it Jazz."

"Wait, how did you cause him pain?"

"We'll tell you later, I promise. But I'm glad it hurt, maybe he'll see that all he's ever been to me is an angel. My guardian angel."

"Really? Even then."

"Even then. This was the first night I dreamt of you if I remember rightly."

"Mm."

"We're nearly finished this chapter can I continue."

"Sorry."

**We scowled at each other. It was odd how endearing her anger was. Like a furious kitten, soft and harmless, and so unaware of her own vulnerability. She flushed pink and ground her teeth together again. "Why did you even bother?"**

**Her question wasn't one that I was expecting or prepared to answer. I lost my hold on the role I was playing. I felt the mask slip from my face, and I told her – this one time – the truth.**

"**I don't know."**

**I memorized her face one last time – it was all set in lines of anger, the blood not yet faded from her cheeks – and then turned and walked away from her.**

"And that's when I vowed to find out what you were. I needed you like I need air. Even then. But you didn't see."

"I see it now, love."

"I know. That's why I can take this so well. I'm not sure I'll like what happens next though. I may have to take a break."

"I'm sorry for what you are about to hear."

"That bad huh?"

"Yes."

"That was the end of the chapter who's next?

Carlisle's voice brought my attention away from my thoughts as I stared into Edward's eyes. Trying to get my mind clear of the intense feelings to take Edward upstairs and fuck him senseless.

"I will."


	5. Mike & Jessica's Comeuppance

**Title:** Receiving The Books – The Cullens Read Midnight Sun

**Author:** Bella Katelyn

**Rating:** M

**Summary:** On their arrival home from their honeymoon, Bella and Edward find out that five books have been delivered to the Cullen house. Four from the past and one of the future. Follow my story as they sit down to read. How will Bella react when she hears Edward's thoughts for the first time? How will Edward react when he realises Bella's feelings for him mirrored his own?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to author Stephanie Meyer, and are brought to the fandom by Summit Entertainment. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours. With that said I hope you enjoy this story as much as I'm going to enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter Five**

**Mike & Jessica's Comeuppance **

**BPOV**

Straight after reading the chapter Phenomenon we left the house arriving at Newton's Olympic Outfitters twenty minutes later. I knew Emmett was going to be upset that he missed out on torturing Mike but something told me he would find his own way of seeking revenge. Just as Edward parked I started to feel nauseous, noticing that Edward's colour changed a little. Suddenly I realised that his nausea had nothing to do with the food he'd consumed and everything to do with my morning sickness. Or should I say morning, noon and night sickness. Taking hold of Edward's hand I squeezed it gently, letting him know I understood how he was feeling. Just as he placed a kiss on my forehead Jasper rounded the corner on his motorcycle. Once Jasper was standing to my right, we started to walk toward the store.

I could see Mike and Jessica inside, completely oblivious to the fact that they had upset vampires, I still didn't know what Edward and Jasper had in store but whatever it was I couldn't wait to see their reaction. Maybe while I was at it I could show Jess exactly what I thought about her thoughts about _my _mate, _my _husband. Suddenly I felt Edward's thumb gliding over my hand as I instantly relaxed. We entered the store after Jasper, it didn't take long for Mike and Jess to stop talking and realise just who had entered the store. Taking a deep breath, I nuzzled my head into Edward's shoulder inhaling his scent managing to calm down slightly. I smiled as Edward started to talk.

"Newton."

"Cullen. What are you doing here?"

"Well you see, our family are going camping, we are in need of some equipment."

"O-okay."

"I'm sure you can understand, now we have Bella with us everything needs to be more comfortable?"

"Of course."

"Good. Oh and Newton?"

"Yes?"

"I suggest you stop thinking about _my wife _that way and turn your attentions back to Jessica."

"How... …how do you know what I'm thinking?"

"Let's just say I'm good at reading people."

Hiding my face in Edward's chest I couldn't help but giggle at the shakiness of Mike's voice. If this had been a few months ago I would have felt sorry for him, however after sitting through nearly two chapters of his thoughts I couldn't find it in me to feel sorry for him. He was getting off lightly considering; of course I didn't know what Emmett had planned for him yet. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Jessica glaring at me as Edward rubbed my back. I couldn't hold it in, as every mean thought she had had about me came flooding to the front of my mind, the angrier I became. Keeping hold of Edward's hand I glared at Jessica watching as she walked backwards a few steps before letting loose.

"Who do you think you're glaring at Jess? We're not in high school anymore. You need to get over your little fantasies about _my husband. _You're nothing but an annoyance to him."

"Oh, he does, does he? And how exactly do you know that?"

"Because we talk. He tells me how he's feeling. Especially when _girls _who should know better try and flirt with him."

"Take that back."

"Why should I? It's the truth. All I ever did was fall in love and by some miracle Edward felt the same way about me, but you and Lauren had to make my life hell. When Edward was _away _you turned your back on me. You weren't my friend, not really all you cared about was the popularity that you received because I was dating a Cullen."

"You're plain, ordinary. He deserves a real woman."

"A real woman, seriously. At least I waited until my _wedding night _before sleeping with Edward, unlike you. How many boys have you slept with Jess? You ask why Edward loves me, I'll tell you, because I'm loyal, caring and I respect him. I put him before myself every time. His happiness is more important to me. You and Mike are well suited to each other; you're so obsessed with Edward and me that you don't even see what's staring you in the face."

Taking a deep breath, I nuzzled my head back into Edward's chest inhaling his unique scent as I found myself instantly calming down. Closing my eyes I felt his hand move to my stomach as he rubbed it gently. As he did I looked down a little completely taken aback as I noticed the small bump which seemed to have appeared overnight. I smiled resting my hand over his as everything started to become more real. Our little one meant more to me than some jealous girl who couldn't understand what true love really looked like. Suddenly I felt a wave of calm wash over me as I glanced at Jasper smiling at him, grateful for his intervention. The last thing we needed was for my shield to become apparent. As I calmed down I heard Jasper talking.

"Jessica, we all tolerated your behaviour for just over a year because we all respected Bella and Edward's relationship, however now things have gone too far. Not only are you insulting my baby sister, your insulting Edward's wife. You really should realise that you will _never _be with Edward. I don't expect you to understand pure love. I hope one day you do realise it, then maybe you can understand the depth of their love."

"How do you know what they feel?"

"I'm their brother it's my job to know how they feel."

"Urgh I wish you never came here Bella _Cullen._"

"At least I know I'll always be cared for I can't say the same for you and Mike."

"I hate you."

"The feeling is mutual. Oh and one more thing, just so you can't spread the gossip around town. We're having a baby and no that's not why we got married, this beautiful miracle happened on our honeymoon. I honestly thought that you were my friend it saddens me that the whole time you were making snide remarks behind my back."

Just as I finished my little announcement, Mike rounded the corner, his arms filled with camping equipment, along with electric heaters and blankets. Now why didn't we think of buying those when we were first together it would have made night times a lot more enjoyable. I noticed Jasper turn his ability back on Mike trying my hardest not ruin all our hard work. A smug smile ghosted onto his face just as Mike approached us again. The tension was thick in the air and Jess was still giving us daggers but again I couldn't find it in my heart to care. Any sympathy I had for her had disappeared the minute I heard her thoughts.

"H—Here you go? All the newest equipment, updated. I thought with the weather getting colder y—you might like some e-electric blankets for B-Bella."

"Thank you. Can you ring them through for me?"

"Of course."

Turning around in Edward's arms I wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head against his chest. Inhaling his scent I allowed it to calm my frayed nerves. I hadn't meant to reveal my pregnancy but I couldn't stop myself. She'd gotten on my last nerve and I wanted her to hurt, the same way she had hurt me when Edward was away. I knew now that the only two people from Forks High I would ever stay in contact with were Angela and Ben. They had pure thoughts and respected our relationship, only wanting us to be happy. Edward must have sensed my mood change as he rested his head against my shoulder inhaling my own scent, leaving Jasper to pay for all the unnecessary camping equipment.

Slowly he led us back outside into the fresh air. I knew he was still feeling sick thanks to my constant morning sickness. Letting go of his hand I watched as he raced behind the store getting sick again. I sighed feeling guilty that he was going through this because of me. Even though he wouldn't admit it to me, I knew he was feeling every ache and pain I was, including the headaches. Just as he stood up gaining his composure, my own stomach lurched as I bent over getting sick. I seriously hated morning sickness. I suddenly gained so much respect for my mother.

"Feeling better now, love?"

"Yes thank you. What about you?"

"I'm fine. Now I know for certain I'm feeling your morning sickness. I'm sorry you have to go through this."

"It'll be worth it. Look at what we get at the end."

"That's true."

"We should go see Sam. I can call Billy and get him to meet us at the treaty line. I want to sign it as soon as possible."

"I think that would be a good idea."

"Emmet will be upset he missed out on scaring Mike."

"He'll live."

"I feel bad for upsetting him."

* * *

**Meeting Sam & Billy**

As Edward led me back to the car, I noticed Jasper exit the store, unable to hide his laughter anymore. I chanced a glance at Mike and Jessica laughing as I realised they were still frozen in place. It seemed like the message had finally sunk in, it was just a shame that it had to take something like this for them to realise it. Sliding into the car I rested my hand over my small baby tummy, a little nervous about where we were going now. Not because I didn't trust the wolves, but I didn't know how Jacob would react. Resting my head back against the headrest, I watched as Jasper made the turn off toward home as Edward drove toward LaPush. Turning to face Edward I couldn't help but notice the smile that had appeared on his face.

"What are you thinking?"

"Isn't that normally my line?"

"Mm I guess it is. What was Mike thinking?"

"He was cocky at first. But once I started talking his thoughts soon stopped."

"Wasn't expecting you to be so forceful?"

"Something like that."

"What about Jess."

"Pretty much the same as it was in the book. Although when you stood up to her, her thoughts stopped, she wasn't expecting you to fight back. And she didn't have Lauren to fight her corner. However it wasn't until you revealed the pregnancy that her thoughts picked back up again. She was jealous, but the jealous seemed to be different."

"Why do you mean?"

"She wasn't jealous of us anymore. She was jealous about what we have to look forward to."

"Wow."

"If only others could think like that,"

I sighed heavily turning my head to look out of the window as the forest passed us by and small wooden houses started to come into view. The last time I'd been here, I'd broken Jacob's heart. I was still unsure on how Billy would react to seeing me again. Especially since this was technically an unannounced visit. Suddenly the car came to a stop and I realised we had reached the boundary line. Taking a deep breath I stepped out of the car closing the door behind me lightly. Edward was at my side in a second as I recognised Sam Uley and Billy Black approaching from their side of the treaty line. Without thinking I rested my hand over my small bump protectively, instantly feeling Edward's covering it.

"What the hell are you doing here leech?"

"Sam, please don't. That's my husband you're talking about. Would you like it if he started calling Emily names?"

"It's not the same thing."

"Oh yes it is and you know it. We didn't come here to fight. We came because I wanted to talk to you. Not here."

"Where then?"

"Billy can we go to your house?

"Why mine?"

"Because you're my father's best friend and you more than anyone should understand. Please I want to explain a few things. Things that you've only heard Jacob's side of."

"Alright. But only for you and Charlie."

"Billy. How's Jake?"

"He's not at the house if that's what you're asking."

"With Quil then."

Taking a deep breath, I wrapped my arm around Edward's waist as we crossed the treaty line; I knew Alice would no doubt be freaking out however this was one thing I needed to do. Not just for myself, but for Edward. I never thought I'd get to show him LaPush, the life I'd gotten used to when we were apart. But now, now at least I could experience LaPush with him the way I'd wanted to when we were still getting to know each other. Before long, Sam stopped outside Billy and Jake's rundown house. I already knew there weren't any other wolves around because Edward still seemed relaxed. The minute we walked into Billy's small house every memory I'd tried to forget came flooding back to me. Suddenly I was glad Edward was here with me, it brought my back from the darkness before it could take me.

Following Sam's lead Edward sat down, helping me to sit down afterward. My head instantly rested against his shoulder as I kept my eyes on Billy and Sam. I could see the wonder in their eyes, I dreaded to think what was going on inside their heads, I guess I'd have to ask Edward later. I could see they were waiting for me to speak, taking in Edward's scent I allowed it to calm me completely before turning back to Billy sighing.

"I know you don't like my choice Billy. You think I should have been with Jake but you're wrong. It's always been Edward for me. I was born for him."

"You wouldn't have to die for Jake Bella."

"See, this is what I'm talking about. I don't class it as dying I class it as spending my life with my husband. You've had this argument with Charlie for years, can't you just accept my choice and notice that I'm happy. I never fitted in anywhere, not in Phoenix, not here even when Rebecca and Rachel were here. But the minute I looked into Edward's eyes, I knew he was the one. I'm his mate. Vampires mate for life, there isn't anyone else for them. It's their version of imprinting. Could you honestly deny Sam his Emily?"

"No I couldn't."

"Then why are you trying to deny me my Edward. Without him I have no life, you saw what I went through when he was gone. I went through the motions but I was dead inside. That's why I went back so easily because he's my soul mate. I don't expect you to understand because you just want to see Jake happy, but there are a few things you need to hear about him, he's not so sweet and innocent as you think."

"Like what?"

"Like forcing himself on me, kissing me without my say so. How else do you think I broke my knuckle? I punched him, for all the good it did me. By telling me he would rather see me dead than become a vampire. Manipulating me into forgiving him time and time again, using my guilt to his advantage. But that's not the worst of it. The thing I will never be able to forget, is him picking up _my _house phone and announcing Charlie was at a funeral, not telling him it was Harry's. It's your son's fault that I went off to Italy to save Edward and I'd do it all over again if I had to. Because that's what you do when you are in love."

"He…"

"Yes, Edward tried to get himself destroyed because he thought I was dead. I jumped off that cliff because I was hurting. But you never saw that, you just tried to push Jake on me. Jacob's imprint is out there somewhere. It's time you let this go. For his sake more than mine. I'm happy. More than happy."

_Can I tell him?_

"Of course you can love, they need to know."

"Who were you talking to?

"Bella. I can hear her thoughts now."

"Since when?"

"Sam honestly it's not that important. It's not why we're here."

"Sorry."

"Billy, I'm pregnant."

"You… …how."

"How do you think? Do I need to draw you a diagram?"

"Of course you don't. I suppose congratulations are in order."

"Thank you. We're going to tell Charlie later. Do you understand now?"

"I'm starting to. But it will take a while Bella."

"I understand. There was another reason why I asked Edward to bring me here."

"Oh. What's that?"

"Well as two weeks ago I'm officially a Cullen. I fully intend to become one of them. I'm here to sign the treaty."

"None of them can bite a human."

"No one is going to bite anyone. Are you going to let me sign it?"

"Of course I am."

Taking hold of Edward's hand I instantly calmed down again. Sam must have been expecting me to ask about the treaty as he took it out of the satchel he carried around with him. I knew this wasn't what they wanted for me. They'd repeatedly told me their views on my family whilst I was trying to handle our separation, however this was the way things were meant to be and I wouldn't change a single second of it. Sam placed the treaty in front of me alongside a pen. I quickly read through it amazed as I traced over Edward's signature. I could feel Billy and Sam's eyes on me as I slowly added my name to the ancient treaty, directly underneath Edward's.

Pushing the treaty back toward Sam I buried my head into Edward's shoulder, hiding my tears from Billy. I don't think he would ever fully understand how hard it had been for me during the time I was apart from Edward; however the fact that he had agreed to try and understand meant more to me than I think he would ever know. I knew I had to leave now; I couldn't stand being here anymore. There was nothing here for me anymore.

_Can we go home? I'm thirsty."_

"Of course, sweetheart come on."

"What's going on?"

"Bella's not feeling very well. I'm sure you can understand."

"Edward, I'm sorry. I should have respected her choice but all I saw was my son hurting."

"I know Billy. I will no doubt do the same when it comes to our child. Maybe you and Charlie can be closer now that Bella's told you everything. I know he misses you. I'll take good care of her I promise."

"I know you will."

"I'll get Carlisle to arrange a meeting with you for Alice and Jasper to sign the treaty."

"We'll be in touch."

Reaching up, I wrapped my arms around Edward's neck jumping into his arms as I locked my legs tightly around his waist. The minute we stepped foot outside Billy's I heard the growling. Taking deep breaths I filled my lungs with Edward's scent as he carried me to the car, trying to ignore the wolves who were obviously hiding in the forest around the house. Once we reached the boundary line, my entire body relaxed. Edward placed me gently into the passenger side as I strapped myself in, two minutes later we were on our way home. We were in for the wrath of Alice when we arrived home, however something told me that she'd find a way to yell at us beforehand. I hated to upset my sister but she needed to understand we both needed closure.

* * *

**Dinner With Charlie**

**APOV**

Rosalie and I arrived at the police station no more than twenty minutes after leaving the house. Of course I had to make sure Rosalie stuck to the speed limit for once, we were trying to make a good impression on Charlie not get ourselves a speeding ticket. Just as Rose started to park I was pulled into a vision of Bella and Edward heading toward LaPush. Why the hell Edward would be driving that way I didn't know, we hadn't decided to call a meeting with the Elders, which led to only one conclusion Bella must have asked him to take her there. Sliding my cell from my pocket I searched through the numbers stopping as I came to Bella's number, from the corner of my eye I could see Rosalie staring at me, however she knew better than to try and talk to me after receiving a vision. Hitting the call button, I waited for my devious sister to answer.

"_Hello?"_

"Bella, do you mind explaining to me why you and Edward have just now reappeared from my visions?"

"_I needed to talk to Billy and Sam. We were at Billy's house. And before you lose your temper it doesn't break the treaty I asked if Edward could cross before we did._"

"You could have gotten yourself hurt Bella."

"_Actually for once Billy and Sam listened. I needed closure Alice, we both did. Maybe now Jake can find his own imprint. Billy knows now that it's always been Edward for me. Would you really have denied me the opportunity to say goodbye to Billy, to the memories I have of LaPush?"_

"Well, no I guess not. A little warning would have been nice."

"_I'm sorry Alice, really I am. Tell you what to make up for it I promise to go shopping with you."_

"It's going to take more than that."

"_I'll wear whatever you chose for me for the next few months, but I refuse to be put into maternity clothes until it's totally necessary. Oh and Alice?"_

"Yes Bella."

"_You're not allowed to shout at Edward, he knew I needed this, I also signed the treaty."_

"Fine. Deal."

"_We're on our way home. Say hi to Charlie for me."_

"Bye Bella."

"_Bye Alice."_

Shutting the call off I glared at Rose who was trying unsuccessfully to hide her laugh. I always knew Bella had her ways of dazzling Edward, but suddenly I realised that she had used the same technique on me. Either I was letting my guard down or she had found a way around my visions, either way it was something I couldn't do anything about now that she'd made me agree to not yelling at Edward. Growling I got out of the car slamming the door shut. I hated to lose. Taking unnecessary deep breaths, I calmed myself down enough that Charlie wouldn't become suspicious. Thankfully we didn't have to use our vampire charm on anyone because Charlie was the one minding the front desk.

"Hey Charlie."

"Hey Alice… …R-Rosalie."

"Hello Charlie. I promise I stuck to the speed limit."

"Well that's good. I wouldn't want to have to give family a ticket. What can I do for you girls?"

"Well Bella and Edward are home. We've been decorating their bedroom, that's why she hasn't called yet. Anyway Esme was wondering if you wanted to come to dinner tonight."

"I wouldn't want to put anyone out."

"You wouldn't be. You're family now."

"Well alright if you're sure."

"We are."

"Tell Esme I said thank you."

"Of course I will. Oh and Charlie. Bella says she can't wait to see you."

"Can't wait to see her either Alice. It's lonely up there without her."

"Well you're welcome at our house anytime."

"Charlie?"

"Yes Rose."

"I was thinking if you needed someone that is I could be a counsellor for young woman. I've got my qualifications for it."

"How about I talk to my boss and see what he says."

"That'll be great. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"See you later Charlie. 6pm."

"See you then girls."

A few minutes later we were headed toward home. I already knew Emmett had returned home, along with Bella and Edward. I didn't envy them Emmett's behaviour when he found out Jasper and Edward had gone to see Mike on their own. However just like the rest of us, Emmett couldn't stay mad at Bella for very long, she had this way of wrapping us around her finger. Rosalie had only just parked the car when I got out racing into the house, bouncing up the stairs two at a time to find Esme. I didn't want Bella to know Charlie would be coming for dinner, the only way I would be able to do that would be to stay out of Edward's way until he arrived. Before heading to Jasper, I filled Esme in on my plan and thankfully she was all for it. I didn't need Edward's gift to know how much Bella needed her father right now.

* * *

_**After Charlie's Shift**_

**BPOV**

I couldn't understand why Alice was avoiding me, I'd already told her the reasons why I needed to talk to Billy and Sam, I thought she would understand my reasons, after all she was the one I'd confided in about Jake. On the stupid things I'd done in order to hear Edward's voice in my mind. Around 6pm I heard a car pulling into the driveway, I suddenly realised it sounded exactly like Charlie's cruiser. Slowly getting up from my comfortable spot on Edward's lap I walked to the front door smiling as I opened the front door for my father. He looked different, not physically obviously. But he seemed happier somehow, younger. Standing back from the door I watched in awe as Charlie walked inside, seeming completely at ease with my vampire family.

Walking over to Edward I rested my head against his chest as Charlie sat down next to us. I used to imagine what it would be like if Charlie truly accepted Edward into my life, I don't think he realised just how much his approval meant to me. Esme had been slaving over the meal for the last few hours. Thankfully she had only served up a small portion for me I didn't think I'd be able to stomach much. Slowly I picked up my blood sucking on the straw hoping that filling myself with blood first would ease the heaviness of the food. I was brought out of my thoughts by Charlie's voice calling my name.

"So how was the honeymoon Bells?"

"It was fantastic. Edward took me to Isle Esme."

"Where's that? Haven't heard of it."

"It's an Island near Rio. Carlisle bought it for Esme as an anniversary present."

"Wow. That's some gift."

"Dad there was another reason why Alice and Rose asked you to come for dinner."

"Oh? What's that?"

"Well um… …when we were on our honeymoon. We received some news."

"Well don't keep me in suspense. Spit it out."

"I'm pregnant. I know you are probably going to think I'm too young but Dad I'm happy, and Edward and I aren't you and Mom. Please understand."

"Whoa, whoa Bells. I'm going to be a grandpa?"

"Yeah."

"Congratulations."

"Thank you."

"Have you told your mom yet?"

"I thought I'd wait until I was further along until I told her. You know what she's like."

"I love you Dad."

"I love you too Bells."

**EPOV**

As I watched Bella with Charlie, I realised just how much I was looking forward to the birth of our child. Bella had always been the one to look after everyone, yet since we found out she was pregnant I'd notice she had become more and more dependent on me. This was something I loved. I'd made sure to tell Carlisle and Esme about how Bella felt when she ate human food, Esme on hearing this decided to make her a light soup. Something that Charlie wouldn't suspect since Bella was in the early stages of her pregnancy.

Not long after Charlie arrived Esme started to set the food on the rarely used dining room table. Until Bella came into my life the most we'd used it for was family meetings. Taking hold of Bella's hand I squeezed it gently, knowing she wasn't looking forward to this meal any more than I was. Once Charlie was seated I made sure Bella was sitting next to him with me on her other side. I noticed her eyes bulge when she saw the steak and potatoes being placed in front of everyone.

"Edward I can't eat that."

"It's okay; love Esme's made soup for you."

"Thank you. The smell is already making me rethink eating."

"Bells it's not like you to turn down food."

"Morning sickness dad."

"It's after 6pm."

"Oh, yeah."

Reaching under the table I took hold of Bella's hand squeezing it lightly as Esme placed the food in front of us. If it had been anyone but Charlie, I'd have skipped dinner, after all this had been my excuse for the past year and half. I had to suck it up and do what I had to in order to keep our secret from Charlie. Thankfully the meal passed by quickly. Emmett as usual was the only one who shovelled food into his mouth without complaining, sometimes I seriously wondered if he'd been dropped on his head at birth. Although he did have his uses, managing to keep Charlie entertained with a ball game while Bella and I slipped upstairs to see Carlisle. I'd asked him whether it would be possible for us to do a sonogram whilst we were taking a short break from the books.

**First Sonogram**

**BPOV**

Whilst Charlie was occupied watching yet another ball game, Edward led me into Carlisle's office which had been turned into a sonogram technician's room. My heart skipped a beat as I realised that I was going to see our baby. I was brought out of my thoughts by Edward resting his hand on the small of my back, as I slowly hopped onto the bed pulling my top up over my stomach, resting just underneath my breasts. Taking hold of Edward's hand I squeezed it gently just as Carlisle squeezed the gel onto my stomach. I was praying that we would be able to see the baby, I'd been wondering whether the fact that the baby was half vampire we would struggle to see an image. I was brought out of my thoughts by the sound I'd been longing to hear since the day I found out we were going to have a baby. My head turned toward the screen just as Carlisle turned it toward us. There on the screen was our baby. So small, yet so strong. I could feel the tears slipping down my face as I just stared at the screen.

"You've got a very healthy baby there Bella. You're measuring at slightly further along than a normal pregnancy, however it's not a bad thing, I believe it's down to the baby's genealogy."

"So it won't hurt him or her?"

"Not at all. And with your other adjustments, I'm positive that you're going to have a happy and healthy pregnancy."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome sweetheart. Would you like a print out to give to Charlie."

"Yes please."

Turning my head to face Edward, I could see the venom tears in the corners of his eyes; I knew if they were able to spill over he would be crying. I've never seen him look so happy, so content. It was like everything had shifted again, his heart, like mine had opened up even wider than before to make room for our little miracle. We both knew I was pregnant, Edward had heard the heartbeat whilst we were still on our honeymoon, however seeing our miracle on the screen was an entirely new experience. Taking hold of a paper towel, I rubbed the goo off my stomach pulling my t shirt down again.

_You okay._

"I'm fine sweetheart. I'm so proud of you."

_For what?_

"For being so strong. Not many humans would have the strength to carry a half vampire baby."

_Just as well I'm not a normal human then isn't it?_

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

_Good to know._

"When you two are finished talking. I've got the print out for you."

I blushed.

"Sorry Carlisle. I just… I find it easier to talk about some things with him in my thoughts."

"It's alright. I understand."

Hopping off the bed, I automatically went into Edward's arms. The minute his arms wrapped around me, I instantly felt safe. After inhaling his scent I managed to calm my emotions so they wouldn't give me away to Charlie. Clutching the sonogram in my hand I felt confident as I walked from Carlisle's office, getting ready to descend the stairs, however before I got the chance to, I found myself in Edward's arms. Not that I was complaining, his arms were my safe haven. Once we were back in the living room, Edward set me on my feet as I walked over to my dad, sitting down next to him.

"Dad I have something for you."

"What's that sweetheart?"

"Well Carlisle just performed my first sonogram. And I thought you'd want a picture to show off at the station."

Taking the picture from Edward's hand I handed it over to Charlie, it was impossible to keep the smile off my face as I saw my dad stare at his grandchild. I only hoped that Billy and Charlie would eventually work things out. I knew he missed him even though he always told me he didn't. I found it hard to believe that I'd been so scared to tell Charlie about my pregnancy, now I knew where I got it from; Edward always said I do the complete opposite of what he expects me to do.

"Meet your Grandchild."

"Going to be a stunner."

"How can you tell, the baby is so small."

"With your genes how could this baby not be?"

"You'll make me cry?"

"Now, now, no tears."

"I'll try."

"What time's it?"

"Nearly 8pm."

"I'm on the early shift I'll have to go."

"Oh okay."

"Hey I'll be back before you know it."

"I love you Daddy."

"Love you too kiddo."

Seeing Charlie leave was hard, harder than I thought it would be. However the fact that he knew about his grandchild, and he wasn't mad at me, made up for it. It's not like I couldn't go and see him when I needed to. Walking Charlie out I could still see the smile on his face as he kept staring at the sonogram of his grandchild. Suddenly I felt familiar cold arms resting on my stomach. Instinctively I rested my head against Edward's chest. Today had been one of the most eventful days since we had returned from our honeymoon and I was definitely feeling the after effects. The last thing I could remember was Edward carrying me to bed.


	6. Visions

**Title:** Receiving The Books – The Cullens Read Midnight Sun

**Author:** Bella Katelyn

**Rating:** M

**Summary:** On their arrival home from their honeymoon, Bella and Edward find out that five books have been delivered to the Cullen house. Four from the past and one of the future. Follow my story as they sit down to read. How will Bella react when she hears Edward's thoughts for the first time? How will Edward react when he realises Bella's feelings for him mirrored his own?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to author Stephanie Meyer, and are brought to the fandom by Summit Entertainment. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours. With that said I hope you enjoy this story as much as I'm going to enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter Six **

**Visions**

**EPOV**

Although Bella insisted she was alright, the pained look was written all over her face, after finding out that I couldn't read her thoughts I'd gotten quite good at reading her facial expressions. If I'd known how much hearing my thoughts meant to her, I'd have given her the journals a long time ago. I made a decision to keep quiet on my fears unless I thought it was becoming too much for her and I'd make sure she rested. I didn't want anything to happen to her or the baby. The minute I heard the chapter title I knew what would be revealed, the severe argument we'd had after I'd gotten home. I was scared how she would take Jasper and Rosalie's wanting to kill her. Suddenly I felt Bella's warm hand on my cheek, instantly leaning into it.

"You alright, baby."

"Mm just thinking."

"About?"

"What will be in this chapter?"

"I know it will be hard. I didn't expect it to be roses. I'd seen the struggle remember. Just know nothing will ever take me away from you."

"Alright."

"You're my life now."

"Look after my heart. It's yours."

**I went back to school. This was the right thing to do, the most inconspicuous way to behave. By the end of the day, almost all the students had returned to class, too. Just Tyler and Bella and a few others – who were probably using the accident as a chance to ditch – remained absent. It shouldn't be so hard for me to do the right thing. But all afternoon, I was gritting my teeth against the urge that had me yearning to ditch too – in order to find the girl again. Like a stalker. An obsessed vampire stalker. School today was – somehow, impossibly – even more boring than it had seemed just a week ago. Coma-like. It was as if the colour had drained from the bricks, the trees the sky, the faces around me…I stared at the cracks on the walls. There was another right thing I should be doing…that I wasn't. Of course it was also a wrong thing. It all depended on the perspective from which you viewed it.**

_Is this when you started to come into my room?_

I believe so yes. When I revealed that to you I thought you'd be angry at me."

_How could I? You were all I'd wanted and needed since our eyes met._

"You know Alice is right."

_About what?_

"We don't see ourselves clearly."

_Oh._

"If we let her know too often though she'll get a big head."

"Hey!"

"Children, let your father read."

"Sorry Mom."

**From the perspective of a Cullen – not just a vampire, but a **_**Cullen**_**, someone who belonged to a family, such a rare state in our world – the right thing to do would have gone something like this:**

"_**I'm surprised to see you in class Edward. I heard you were involved in the awful accident this morning."**_

"_**Yes, Mr Banner, but I was the lucky one." A friendly smile. "I' didn't get hurt at all…I wish I could say the same for Tyler and Bella."**_

"_**How are they?"**_

"_**I think Tyler is fine…just some superficial scrapes from the windshield glass. I'm not sure about Bella, though." A worried frown. "She might have a concussion. I heard she was pretty incoherent for a while – seeing things even. I know the doctors were worried…" **_

**That's how it should have gone. That's what I owed my family. **

"**I'm surprised to see you in class Edward. I heard you were involved in that awful accident this morning."**

"**I wasn't hurt." No smile.**

**Mr Banner shifted his weight from foot to foot, uncomfortable. **

"**Do you have any idea how Tyler Crowley and Bella Swan are? I heart there were some injuries…"**

**I shrugged.**

"**I wouldn't know."**

**Mr Banner cleared his thought. "Er, right…" he said, my cold stare making his voice a bit strained.**

**He walked quickly back to the front of the classroom and began his lecture. It was the wrong thing to do. Unless you look at it from a more obscure point of view. It just seemed so…so **_**in chivalrous **_**to slander the girl behind her back, especially when she was proving more trustworthy than I could have dreamed. She hadn't said anything to betray me, despite having good reason to do so. Would I betray her when she had done nothing but keep my secret? I had a nearly identical conversation with Mrs Goff – just in Spanish rather than in English – and Emmett gave me a long look.**

_**I hope you have a good explanation for what happened today. Rose is on the warpath.**_

I felt Bella stiffen in my arms as she tried to get impossibly closer to my body. This was the one chapter I had been dreading from the moment I realised this book was in my thoughts. Jasper and Rose had been especially forceful in killing my love. There was no doubt that I would have fought my family if any of them had ever decided to try to do so. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Jazz and Rose freeze, obviously realising what was going to be revealed. Trailing my hand underneath Bella's PJ top rubbing soothing circles on her back. Instantly I could feel some of the tension leave her body.

"I'm sorry you have to hear this sweetheart."

"I understand. It's not like you had it easy."

"I know, love."

"You'll probably be upset by some of my thoughts. We never thought this would be easy."

"You're right again."

"When are you going to realise I always will be."

"Mm."

"I love you."

"I love you too."

**I rolled my eyes without looking at him. I actually had come up with a perfectly sound explanation. Just suppose I **_**hadn't **_**done anything to stop the van from crushing the girl…I recoiled from that thought. But if she **_**had **_**been hit, if she'd been mangled and bleeding, the red fluid spilling wasting on the blacktop, the scent of the fresh blood pulsing through the hair… I shuddered again, but not just in horror. Part of me shivered in desire. No, I would not have been able to watch her bleed without exposing us all in a much more flagrant and shocking way. It was a perfectly sound excuse…but I wouldn't use it. It was too shameful. And I hadn't thought of it until long after the fact, regardless.**

_**Look out for Jasper, **_**Emmett went on, oblivious to my revenue**_**. **_ _**He's not as angry…but he's more resolved.**_

**I saw what he meant, and for a moment the room swam around me. My rage was so all consuming that a red haze clouded my vision. I thought I would choke on it.**

_**SHEESH, EDWARD! GET A GRIP" **_**Emmett shouted at me in his head, His hand came down on my shoulder, holding me in my seat before I could jump to my feet. He rarely used his full strength – there was rarely a need, for he was so much stronger than my vampire any of us had ever encountered – but he used it now. He gripped my arm, rather than pushing me down. If he'd been pushing, the chair under me would have collapsed.**

_**Damn, kid, you're a miss, **_**Emmett added, sympathy in his tone.**

"**Bite me," I muttered under my breath, and I heard his low chuckle.**

**Emmett didn't hold grudges, and I probably ought to be more grateful for his easy going nature. But I could see that Jasper's intentions made sense to Emmett, and he was considering the best course of action. The rage simmered, barely under control. Yes, Emmett was stronger than I was, but he'd yet to beat me in a wrestling match. He claimed that this was because I cheated, but hearing thoughts was just as much a part of who I was in his immense strength was a part of him. We were evenly matched in a fight.**

"You fought over me?"

"We did. Even then I would fight for you. Against my family. The thought of them hurting you, tore me apart."

"I don't want any of you to fight over me."

"I know, love. I wish you didn't have to hear this part."

"It's okay. I understand."

"If at any time you need a breather, just tell me."

"I will."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Being so understanding. Being so calm despite what hurtful things you're hearing."

"Edward so far, everything I have heard I had already guessed. This is the only part so far that I'm unsure of. The month that followed was harder than I ever wanted you to know. But you'll probably find out anyways."

"You're amazing."

"I'm hungry."

"What would you like?"

"Eggs please."

"Eggs it is."

_Edward I'll make them, she's comfortable where she is._

"Thanks Mom."

Bella moved closer into my arms. Her body seemed to crave mine as much as my own craved hers. Suddenly I was wishing we were anywhere but here. The need to be with my mate physically had become unbearable I was amazed Jasper hadn't said anything by now. Trailing my hand down her arm, I felt her body relax at the same time she inhaled my scent. Before I had time to act on my thoughts, Esme was back with Bella's eggs, which she seemed to be able to handle more than any other food she'd tried to eat. Whilst Bella began eating, I vaguely heard Carlisle's voice as he started to read again, I was too lost in Bella to notice anything or anyone else around me.

**A fight? Was that where this was headed? Was I going to fight with my **_**family **_**over a human I barely knew? I thought about that for a moment, thought about the fragile feel of the girl's body in my arms in juxtaposition with Jasper, Rose and Emmett – supernaturally strong and fast, killing machines by nature. Yes, I would fight for her. Against my family. I shuddered. But it wasn't fair to leave her undefended when I was the one who put her in danger. I couldn't win alone, though, not against the three of them, and I wondered who my allies would be. Carlisle, certainly. He would not fight anyone, but he would be wholly against Rose and Jasper's designs. That might be all I needed. I would see…**

**Esme, doubtful. She would not be **_**against **_**me either, and she would hate to disagree with Carlisle, but she would be for any plan that kept her family intact. Her first priority would not be rightness, but me. If Carlisle was the soul of our family, then Esme was the heart. He gave us a leader who deserved following; she made that following into an act of love. We all loved each other – even under the fury I felt toward Jasper and Rose right now, even planning to fight them to save the girl, I knew that I loved them. Alice…I had no idea. It would probably depend on what she saw coming. She would side with the winner, I imagined. So, would have to do this without help. I wasn't a match for them alone, but I wasn't going to let the girl get hurt because of me. That might mean evasive action.**

**My rage dulled a bit with the sudden black humour. I could imagine how the girl would react to my kidnapping her. Of course, I rarely guessed her reactions right – but what other reaction could she have besides terror?**

"Oh I don't know. How about completely and irrevocably in love. I told you when you finally let me in exactly how I felt. With you I feel safe, loved, I'm home. It would have always been that way if you'd listened to your sister."

"Bella, love."

"No, Edward. I understand you were scared. So was I, the only boy I'd ever felt this way about, confused the hell out of me. One minute you were asking about my mother and Phil, and then you were blanking me for a month. It's not exactly easy to forget that you were sitting right next to me and yet felt so far away."

"Why did you never tell me any of this?"

"Because I didn't want to blame yourself. The bigger part of me understood why you were being distant with me, but my heart yearned for you."

"Oh Bella."

"Don't. This is what I didn't want to happen."

_Edward if you two need time. We can take a break._

"Thank you. Bella would you like to go somewhere more private."

"Mm."

* * *

**Bella and Edward Discussion**

**EPOV**

Taking an unnecessary breath out, I carried Bella outside, jumping the river effortlessly. I should have realised that the argument with everyone would be in this book. It was the one thing I never wanted her to find out. Once we arrived outside the small cottage, I found the door already open, completely filled with furniture. The minute I saw it, I knew this would be the perfect place for us to start our married life. Walking inside I couldn't help but feel at home instantly. Gently sitting down, I felt Bella move incredibly closer to me. Running my fingers through her hair I felt her instantly relax in my arms. Just as I was about to talk, I heard my Bella whimpering, it broke my still heart to hear her hurting.

"Bella, love. Tell me what you're thinking."

"Why didn't you just talk to me? You know I don't like it when you fight with our family. Especially when it's over me."

"Sweetheart, when it comes to protecting you, I'd fight anyone who tried to hurt you. Including our family. The idea of you being hurt frightens me."

"I'm sorry I shouted at you."

"Don't apologise I deserved it. I'm surprised it didn't come sooner."

"I shouldn't have snapped. I guess the stupid pregnancy hormones are kicking in."

"I love your stupid pregnancy hormones. Can I ask one thing though?"

"Okay."

"Next time you start to feel overwhelmed please tell me."

"I promise. Where are we?"

"We're in the cottage on the grounds, do you like it?"

"It's beautiful. Who does it belong to?"

"No one in particular. Why do you ask?"

"Would you be upset to leave the main house?"

"Bella, what are you trying to ask me?"

"I'd like to live here."

"Then that's what we'll do. Are you ready to go back and continue reading?"

"Yeah."

Within five minute we were back in the main house once again gathered around the coffee table. It didn't escape my notice that Alice, Esme and Rosalie had enormous smiles on their faces. Should have known Alice would have seen Bella's decision. As if she could read my thoughts Bella started to rub her hand subtly down my thigh as I suddenly heard Carlisle start to read again.

* * *

**Vision Part 2**

**I wasn't sure how to manage that, though – kidnapping her. I wouldn't be able to stand being close to her for very long. Perhaps I would just deliver her back to mother. Even that much would be fraught with danger. For her. And also for me, I realised suddenly. If I were to kill her by accident… I wasn't certain exactly how much pain that would cause me, but I knew it would be multifaceted and intense. The time passed quickly while I mulled over all the complications ahead of me: the argument waiting for me at home, the conflict with my family, the lengths I might be forced to go afterward…**

**Well, I couldn't complain that life **_**outside **_**this school. Was monotonous anymore. The girl had changed that much. Emmett and I walked silently to the car when the bell rang. He was worrying about me, and worrying about Rosalie. He knew whose side he would have to choose in a quarrel and it bothered him. The others were waiting for us in the car, also silent. We were a very quiet group. Only I could hear the shouting. **

_**Idiot! Lunatic! Moron! Jackass! Selfish, irresponsible fool! **_**Rosalie kept up a constant stream of insults at the top of her mental lungs. It made it hard to hear the others, but I ignored her as best I could. Emmett was right about Jasper. He was sure of his course. Alice was troubled, worrying about Jasper, flipping through images of the future. No matter what direction Jasper came at the girl, Alice always saw me there, blocking him. Interesting…neither Rosalie nor Emmett was with him in these visions. So Jasper planned to work alone. That would even things up.**

Bella whimpered as she clutched onto my shoulders almost painfully as tears started to fall. I knew this would be hard on her, they'd been hard for me to hear and I had the ability to block out my family whenever I needed to. Running my hands down her arms I felt her relax a little from my touch. Turning toward Carlisle, I smiled a little, thankful that none of them were intending to try and talk to me in their thoughts; my main priority was Bella and my child.

"Dude, you sure she can handle this?"

"Yes Emmett, I'm sure. We've talked about it."

"If she can handle it, then why is she crying?"

"Because she's emotional. Her body is changing, she's hearing thoughts that are hard to hear, even for me and they are my thoughts, and her bonehead of a brother won't shut up."

"Hey! Don't take your frustrations out on me."

"Bro, don't push it he's ready to snap."

As if sensing my mood, Bella moved from her place on my lap, turning around as she straddled my lap as she started to pepper kisses down my jaw until she reached my mouth, The things she did to me, I was immortal, however with just a few kisses you could make me weak. Her fingers ran through my hair as she moved impossibly closer to me, I couldn't help but release the moan as I heard chuckles from around the room. That brought me out of my thoughts quickly as I reluctantly pulled away from Bella,

"Love, we can't not here."

"Why not?"

"Because we're in front of our family."

"Oh. Ooooh. Sorry."

"I understand sweetheart. Believe me."

"Later?"

"I promise."

"Alright I'll try and behave but I'm staying in this position it's comfortable."

"That's all that matters."

As Bella rested her head against my shoulder, I could tell she was tired however she seemed determined to hear what happened between US when we had our family meeting, I wasn't going to push it, if she became too tired, and she'd fall asleep. I could always fill her in on what she'd missed later. Taking an unnecessary deep breath out, I nodded toward Carlisle to start reading again. If I could blush I would be tomato red by now.

**Jasper was the best, certainly the most experienced fighter among us. Mt one advantage lay in that I could hear his moves before he made them. I had never fought more than playfully with Emmett or Jasper – just horsing around. I felt sick at the thought of really trying to hurt Jasper. No, not that. Just to block him. That was all. I concentrated on Alice, memorizing Jasper's different avenues of attack. As I did that, her visions shifted, moving further and further away from the Swan's house. I was cutting him off earlier. **

_**Stop that, Edward! It can't happen this way. I won't let it.**_

**I didn't answer her, I just kept watching. She began to search further ahead, into the misty unsure realm of distant possibilities. Everything was shadowy and vague. The entire way home, the charged silence did not lift. I parked in the big garage off the house; Carlisle's Mercedes was there, next to Emmett's big jeep, Rose's M3 and my Vanquish. I was glad Carlisle was already home – this silence would end explosively, and I wanted him there when it happened.**

_Dude seriously. You were thinking of ways to kill us. _

"Don't even start Emmett. This is hard enough without running commentary from you."

_Jeez I'm just trying to lighten the mood._

"Well don't."

_Sorry_

"I don't want Bella upset anymore."

_I understand. _

**We went straight into the dining room. The room was, of course, never used for its intended purpose. But it was furnished with a long oval mahogany table surrounded by chairs – we were scrupulous about having all the correct props in place. Carlisle liked to use it as a conference room. In a group with such long and disparate personalities, sometimes it was necessary to discuss things in a calm, seated manner. I had a feeling that the setting was not going to help much today. Carlisle sat in his usual seat at the eastern head of the room. Esme was beside him – they held hands on top of the table. Esme's eyes were on me, their golden depths full of concern.**

_**Stay**_**. It was her only thought. I wished I could smile at the woman who was truly a mother to me, but I had no reassurances for her now. I sat on Carlisle's other side. Esme reached around him to put her free hand on my shoulder. She had no idea of what was about to start; she was just worrying about me. Carlisle had a better sense of what was coming. His lips were pressed tightly together and his forehead was creased. The explosion looked too old for his young face. As everyone else sat, I could see the lines being drawn. **

_Edward I'm sorry. I should never have planned to kill her. I see you both now and I see I was wrong. She completes this family._

"Jasper don't. If things had been reversed you would have done the same thing. You all would. I'm just sorry that you all have to hear everything. I never intended you to ever hear what I'd been thinking that day."

_We understand. I can feel the change in Rosalie, since we've started to read, she understands your relationship more._

"How so?"

_Let's just say she's realising the similarities to how things would have been if she'd met Emmett before he was hurt by that bear._

"Ooooh. I guess I never thought of it that way."

_Would you like to know Bella's feelings right now?_

"Yes please."

_She's content; whatever you two talked about at the cottage eased her fears. And she's highly aroused. After this chapter I'd say you two need some alone time. Most of us need to hunt anyways._

"Thank you."

_You're welcome._

**Rosalie sat directly across from Carlisle, on the other end of the long table. She glared at me, never looking away. Emmett sat beside her, his face and thoughts both wry. Jasper hesitated, and then went to stand against the wall behind Rosalie. He was decided, regardless of the outcome of this discussion. My teeth locked together. Alice was the last to come in, and her eyes were focused on something far away – the future, still too indistinct for her to make use of it. Without seeming to think about it, she sat next to Esme. She rubbed her forehead as if she had a headache. Jasper twitched uneasily and considered joining her, but he kept his place.**

**I took a deep breath. I had started this – I should speak first.**

"**I'm sorry," I said, looking first at Rose, then Jasper and then Emmett. "I didn't mean to put any of you at risk. It was thoughtless, and I take full responsibility for my hasty action."**

**Rosalie glared at me balefully. "What do you mean, 'take full responsibility'? Are you going to fix it?"**

"**Not the way you mean," I said, working to keep my voice even and quiet. "I'm willing to leave now if that makes things better." **_**If I believe that the girl will be safe, if I believe that none of you will touch her. **_**I amended in my head.**

"Bella?"

"Y-yes Rose."

"I'm sorry; I know that this is hard for you to hear, especially because I wasn't the most welcoming. If we could go back in time, I'd do things differently."

"It's alright. I understand."

"How can you be so calm? So accepting."

"Because from the moment I found out what you are. The hostility was obvious. You've been through so much; it was understandable that you'd want to protect your family. I was a threat."

"Thank you."

"**No," Esme murmured. "No, Edward."**

**I patted her hand. "It's just a few years."**

"**Esme's right though," Emmett said. "You can't go anywhere now. That would be the **_**opposite **_**of helpful. We have to know what people are thinking, now more than ever."**

"**Alice will catch anything major," I disagreed.**

**Carlisle shook his head. "I think Emmett is right, Edward. The girl will be more likely to talk if you disappear. It's all of us leave, or none at all."**

"**She won't say anything," I insisted quickly. Rose was building up to the explosion, and I wanted this face out there first. **

"**You don't know her mind," Carlisle reminded me.**

"**I know this much. Alice, back me up."**

**Alice stared up at me wearily. "I can't see what will happen if we just ignore this." She glanced at Rose and Jasper. **

**No, she couldn't see that future – not when Rosalie and Jasper were so decided against ignoring the incident. Rosalie's palm smacked down on the table with a loud bang. **

"**We can't allow the human a chance to say anything. Carlisle you **_**must **_**see that. Even if we decided to all disappear, it's not safe to leave stories behind us. We live so differently from the rest of our kind – you know there are those who would love an excuse to paint fingers. We have to be more careful than anyone else!"**

"**We've left rumours and suspicions behind us before," I reminded her.**

"**Just rumours and suspicions, Edward. Not eye witnesses and evidence!"**

I felt Bella move in my arms as she twisted her head slightly to meet Rosalie's eyes, the tension in her body heightened as her anger bubbled inside her. I was worried about how she would react to this part of my thoughts. She and Rosalie had only just started to make progress I was worried that this would set them back to the beginning. Sliding my hand up her PJ top I rubbed her bare back gently hoping it would calm her down slightly.

"EVIDENCE! Honestly. Do you have any idea what you do to him when you think of nothing but yourself? Do you have any idea how his ability works."

Lil sis please don't."

"I'm sorry Emmett, I love you, but I can't sit here and hold everything inside me. This has been a long time coming."

"Okay."

"Bella, you have to understand. I was frightened for my family."

"No you weren't. You were thinking about yourself. Yet you're too self-centred to realise that when you think of ways to hurt me, and Alice SEES them, he also sees them. Just like every time you think about how hard done by you are, how you were robbed of YOUR humanity he not only hears what Royce did to you, he sees it as though it was him doing those things to you. So in future, if you're going to be SELFISH and self-absorbed remember what it will do to MY Edward."

Once she finished talking, Bella rested her head back against my shoulder letting out a deep breath; I could tell she was exhausted, I only hoped she would listen to her body and sleep. Just when I thought I couldn't love her any more than I already did, she went and proved me wrong. I was brought out of my thoughts by Carlisle's voice.

"Son, is this true?"

"Yes. Bella was the only one I told. I guess hearing what Rosalie wanted to do to her, tipped her over the edge."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want to cause trouble for anyone."

"I understand."

"Edward I-."

"Save it Rose, I know it's in the past but Bella and my child come first I don't want to hear excuses."

"Would you like to take a break?"

"No, Bella's finally drifting off to sleep. We'll just have to keep our voices down."

"Alright."

"**Evidence!" I scoffed.**

**But Jasper was nodding his head, his eyes hard.**

"**Rose—" Carlisle began.**

"**Let me finish, Carlisle. It doesn't have to be any big production. The girl hit her head today. So maybe that injury turns out to be more serious than it looked." Rosalie shrugged. "Every mortal goes to sleep with the chance of never waking up. The others would expect us to clean up after ourselves. Technically, that would make it Edward's job, but this is obviously beyond him. You know I'm capable of control. I would leave no evidence behind me."**

"**Yes, Rosalie, we all know how proficient an assassin you are," I snarled.**

**She hissed at me furious.**

"**Edward please," Carlisle said. Then he turned to Rosalie. "Rosalie, I looked the other way in Rochester because I felt that you were owed your justice. The men you killed had wronged you monstrously. This is not the same situation. The Swan girl is innocent." **

"**It's not personal, Carlisle," Rosalie said through her teeth. "It's to protect us all."**

**There was a brief moment of silence while Carlisle thought through his answer. When he nodded Rosalie's eyes lit up. She should have known better. Even if I hadn't been able to read his thoughts. I could have anticipated his next words. Carlisle never compromised.**

"**I know you mean well, Rosalie, but…I'd like very much for our family to be **_**worth **_**protecting. The occasional…accident or lapse in control is a regrettable part of who we are." **

**It was very like him to include himself in the plural, though he had never had such a lapse himself. "**

**To murder a blameless child in cold blood is another thing entirely. I believe the risk she presents, whether she speaks her suspicions or not is nothing to the greater risk. **

_Edward I'm sorry. I shouldn't have planned to kill her. Just the thought of Alice being hurt._

"I understand Jazz. This is the past, as much as it is something I will always remember, I know I'd probably have thought the same thing."

_But Bella. She's hurting right now. Hearing how Rosalie was more than me. She understands my background._

"She'll calm down. You have to remember, she's going through a lot of changes. Her emotions are scattered."

_Tell me about it. It's even worse with it coming from both of you_

"Sorry."

_It's alright. What matters is that Bella is happy. I'll try and keep the peace between her and Rose._

"Thank you."

"Hey! What are you two talking about?"

"Nothing to do with you Emmykins."

"Boys, stop picking on each other."

"Sorry Mom."

**If we make exceptions to protect ourselves, we risk something much more important. We risk losing the essence of who we are."**

**I controlled my expression very carefully. It wouldn't do at all to grin. Or to applaud, as I wished I could.**

**Rosalie scowled. "It's just being responsible."**

"**It's being callous," Carlisle corrected gently. "Every life is precious."**

**Rosalie sighed heavily and her lower lip pouted out. Emmett patted her shoulder. **

"**It'll be fine, Rose," he encouraged in a low voice.**

"**The question," Carlisle continued, "is whether we should move on?"**

Bella whimpered in my arms, upon hearing the subject of us leaving again. I guess she wasn't as deeply asleep as I'd thought. Running my hand down her back, I relaxed as her tense body started to relax and shudder underneath my fingertips. Letting out a sigh, I tried to focus on Carlisle's voice, wishing I was anywhere but sitting around my family while they read my most inner secrets. Nuzzling my head into Bella's hair I inhaled her scent allowing it to calm my frazzled nerves.

"**No," Rosalie moaned. "We just got settled. I don't want to start on my sophomore year in high school again!"**

"**You could keep your present age, of course," Carlisle said.**

"**And have to move again that much sooner?" she countered.**

**Carlisle shrugged.**

"**I **_**like **_**it here! There's so little sun, we get to be almost **_**normal**_**."**

"**Well, we certainly don't have to decide now. We can wait and see if it becomes necessary. Edward seems certain of the Swan girl's silence."**

**Rosalie snorted.**

**But I was no longer worried about Rose. I could see that she would go along with Carlisle's decision, no matter how infuriated she was with me. Their conversation had moved on to unimportant details. Jasper remained unmoved. I understood why. Before he and Alice had met, he'd lived in a combat zone, a relentless theatre of war. He knew the consequences of flouting the rules – he'd seen the grisly aftermath with his own eyes. It said so much that he had not tried to calm Rosalie down with his extra faculties, nor did he try now to rile her up. He was holding himself aloof from this discussion above it.**

"**Jasper," I said.**

**He met my gaze, his face expressionless. **

"**She won't pay for my mistake. I won't allow that."**

"**She benefits from it, then? She should have died today Edward. I would only set that right."**

**I repeated myself, emphasizing each word. "I will not allow it."**

**His eyebrows shot up. He wasn't expecting this – he hadn't imagined that I would act to stop him. He shook his head once.**

"**I won't let Alice live in danger, even a slight danger. You don't feel about anyone the way I feel about her, Edward, and you haven't lived through what I've lived through, whether you've seen my memories or not. You don't understand."**

"JERK! How could you talk to him that way. You feel what he does. I can't believe I'm actually hearing this. You were willing to allow my death. I understand the way you lived Jazz but you had no right to talk to him like that. EVER. He knew exactly how you feel about Alice, he just didn't understand what those feelings were."

"Bella please, you have to see."

"NO! I don't have to see anything. Wasn't it you who told me you couldn't watch Edward suffer if anything happened to me, yet you were still willing to do away with me. Leave me alone!"

Before I could stop her, Bella had moved from my lap already on her way upstairs toward our bedroom. I knew exactly what she was going to do. She'd finally reached her limit. She'd been strong through three chapters, accepting everything, however hearing Jasper talking about killing her so willingly. It had taken a while for them to make a connection however just as they finally had she had to listen to his thoughts about her. Suddenly I was cursing this Stephanie Meyer person. Standing quickly I rushed upstairs coming to a standstill outside out bedroom on the third floor.

Bella already had the suitcases out, carefully folding and placing our clothes into them. She thought I couldn't see the tears falling from her eyes, however my heightened eyesight allowed me to see them, despite her being focused on the task at hand. Rushing at vampire speed it wasn't long before both suitcases were packed. We'd been so focused on packing, I hadn't heard Alice at the bedroom door.

"Where will you go?"

"Not far. Bella has expressed an urge to live in the cottage over the other side of the river. We won't be far."

"I'll miss you. Both of you."

"I know. I'm sorry Alice, but my family comes first, I don't want Bella stressed."

"I understand."

"I'm taking her out the window. Can you tell everyone?"

"Of course."

Picking Bella up gently, I grabbed the cases with my other arm, standing against the open windowsill jumping gracefully outside. It didn't take me long to reach the cottage, dropping the cases to the ground, I pulled the key from my back pocket opening up our little sanctuary. After gently laying Bella on the couch, I returned for the cases moving quickly into the main bedroom placing the suitcases on our bed. By the time I returned Bella was already asleep, gently closing the front door, I sat next to Bella, smiling as she moved her head onto my lap before her breathing evened out and I knew she was asleep. I only hoped the move to the cottage would keep her calm. Jasper's thoughts had been remorseful as we'd left, however I knew I needed to think about Bella not Jazz right now. Closing my eyes, I relaxed my tense muscles enjoying how close Bella and I had seemed to have become during the first three chapters of the book. Despite the horrors of some of my thoughts, not to mention our siblings' thoughts, these books would become a blessing in the end. And we'd be stronger because of it. Here with Bella I was home, finally.

* * *

_**Two Hours Later**_

**BPOV**

After hours of crying and Edward's soothing words, I somehow managed to calm myself down enough to think straight. I knew Jasper and Rosalie were only protecting their family when they suggested killing me, but that didn't mean it was easy for me to hear. Taking a deep breath I moved slowly, smiling against Edward's bare skin feeling happier now that I'd had time away from everyone, although I knew I couldn't ignore them forever. And I really was enjoying hearing Edward's thoughts even if they were hard to hear at times, I was brought out of my thoughts by Edward kissing my forehead.

"Feeling better now sweetheart?"

"Mm, I'm sorry I flipped out like that."

"It's alright, you were protecting your mate it's normal."

"This is how you felt when Mike Newton kept asking me out?"

"Intense isn't it?"

"That's one way of explaining it."

"Would you like to go back to the house now?"

"Mm,"

"I'll have to carry you."

"That's alright. I like it when you run with me."

Sliding out of bed, I wrapped my arms around Edward's neck as he picked me up bridal style as we ran from the small cottage back to the main house. As we reached the back doors, I could tell everyone looked anxious, especially Jasper and Rosalie, taking a deep breath I prepared myself for the rest of the chapter, I knew it would be hard but I also knew that whatever was in the books containing my thoughts would be hard for Edward to hear. As Edward sat down I curled up resting my head against his chest as I gazed shyly over at Jasper.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have spoken to you like that."

"I understand why you were upset. Remember these are my past thoughts, my thoughts now are completely different. Your my baby sister and if anyone tries to hurt you then they will have us to deal with."

"Love you big bro."

"Love you too sis."

"Alright, can we _please _read now."

"Yes Alice you can continue."

"Yay!"

"**I'm not disputing that, Jasper. But I'm telling you now, I won't allow you to hurt Isabella Swan." **

**We stared at each other – not glaring, but measuring the opposition. I felt him sample the mood around me, testing my determination.**

"**Jazz," Alice said, interrupting us.**

**He held my gaze for a moment more, and then looked at her. "Don't bother telling me you can protect yourself, Alice. I already know that. I've still got to –."**

"**That's not what I was going to say," Alice interrupted. "I was going to ask you for a favour."**

**I saw what was on her mind, and my mouth fell open in an audible gasp. I stared at her, shocked, only vaguely aware that everyone besides Alice and Jasper were now eyeing me warily.**

"**I know you love me. Thanks. But I would really appreciate it if you didn't try to kill Bella. First of all, Edward's serious and I don't want you two fighting. Secondly, she's my friend. At least, she's **_**going **_**to be."**

"You know, I'd have thought after so many years together you all would have learned not to bet against Alice. You're always going to lose. Never bet against someone who can see everything."

"Ain't that the truth."

"Alice I need to ask you something later."

"Sweetheart whatever is on your mind you can tell us."

"It's something I can't take about yet."

"Oh alright."

"I promise I'll tell you after I talk to Alice."

"I'd like that."

"Can we get on with the story now."

"Mm."

**It was clear as glass in her head: Alice; smiling, with her icy white arm around the girl's warm, fragile shoulders. And Bella was smiling, too, her arm around Alice's waist. The vision was rock solid; only the timing was unsure.**

"**But…Alice…" Jasper gasped. **

**I couldn't manage to turn my head to see his expression I couldn't tear myself away from the image in Alice's head in order to hear his.**

"**I'm going to love her someday, Jazz. I'll be very put out with you if you don't let her be."**

**I was still locked into Alice's thoughts. I saw the future shimmer as Jasper's resolve floundered in the face of her unexpected request.**

"**Ah," she sighed – his indecision had cleared a new future. "See? Bella's not going to say anything. There's nothing to worry about."**

**The way she said the girl's name…like they were already close confidants…**

"I lived in the dark for years Edward, other than my family Bella is the only friend I've ever had."

"I know Ali, a lot has happened in the last two and a half years, it's hard to believe sometimes that it actually happened to us."

"I told you everything would work itself out. You just have to have a little faith."

"I thank God every day for Bella and our unborn child, I don't understand how I got so lucky but I'm going to cherish every single part of it."

"Does that mean you'll change me after the baby is born?"

"It does, I'm not going to fight you anymore. You've given me the one thing that I never thought I could give you."

"Thank you, thank you."

"You don't have to thank me Bella, you're giving up everything for me."

"I may be leaving this life behind but I get so much more in exchange. You are my life Edward, I can't and won't live without you again."

"I love you."

"Love you, too."

"**Alice," I choked. "What…does this…?"**

"**I told you there was a change coming. I don't know, Edward." **

**But she locked her jaw, and I could see that there was more. She was trying not to think about it; she was focusing very hard on Jasper suddenly, though he too was too stunned to have progressed much in his decision making. She did this sometimes when she was trying to keep something from me.**

"**What, Alice? What are you hiding?"**

**I heard Emmett grumble. He always got frustrated when Alice and I had these kind of conversations. She shook her head trying to not let me in.**

"**Is it about the girl?" I demanded. "Is it about Bella?"**

"You saw…you saw me like you."

"Yes, I had two visions, the second one wasn't so positive."

"When did the first vision become concrete."

"After you went to the meadow. That's when Edward finally gave in and allowed himself to see he was in love with you."

"Took him long enough."

"Hey!"

"I'm sorry baby, you know what I mean."

"I do. What I thought about _that _vision doesn't matter now, I've already decided to change you myself."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

"I know."

**She had her teeth gritted in concentration, but when I spoke Bella's name, she slipped. Her slip only lasted the tiniest portion of a second, but that was long enough.**

"**NO!" I shouted. I heard my chair hit the floor, and only then realised I was on my feet. **

"**Edward!" Carlisle was on his feet, too, his arm on my shoulder. I was barely aware of him.**

"**It's solidifying," Alice whispered. "Every minute you're more decided. There's really only two ways left for her. It's one or the other, Edward."**

**I could see what she saw…but I could not accept it. **

"**No," I said again; there was no volume to my denial. My legs felt hollow, and I had to brace myself against the table. **

"**Will somebody **_**please **_**let the rest of us in on the mystery?" Emmett complained.**

"Aww poor baby, always left out of the deep discussions. Must have been dropped on your head when you were a baby."

"Ouch that hurt Bella boo."

"Bella boo?"

"What don't you like it?"

"Hell no. And you can stop calling Edward Eddie."

"But…but…"

"But nothing you know he hates it."

"Fine."

"Good good. Sorry for interrupting Alice."

"It's alright."

"**I have to leave," I whispered to Alice, ignoring him.**

"**Edward, we've already been over that," Emmett said loudly. "That's the best way to start the girl talking. Besides if you take off, we won't know for sure if she's talking or not. You have to stay and deal with this."**

"**I don't see you going anywhere, Edward," Alice told me. "I don't know if you **_**can **_**leave anymore." **_**Think about it, **_**she added silently. **_**Think about leaving**_**.**

**I saw what she meant. Yet, the idea of never seeing the girl again was…painful. But it was also necessary. I couldn't sanction either future I'd apparently condemned her to.**

"You haven't condemned me to anything Edward, I choose to be here."

I now angel. Looking back if I had just accepted things to begin with, we wouldn't have been through so much heartache."

"You can't change the past, now is the time for looking forward."

"You truly are amazing."

"As are you. My one and only love."

"That's my line."

"That it may be, but it's still true."

"Love you."

"Forever."

"Enough with the mushy stuff, we want to get through these books don't we?"

"Fair point."

_**I'm not entirely sure of Jasper, Edward, **_**Alice went on. **_**If you leave, if he thinks she's a danger to us…**_

"**I didn't hear that," I contradicted her, still only halfway aware of our audience. Jasper was wavering. He would not do something that would hurt Alice.**

_**Not right this moment. Will you risk her life, leave her undefended?**_

"**Why are you doing this to me?" I groaned. My head fell into my hands.**

**I was not Bella's protector. I could not be that. Wasn't Alice's divided future enough proof of that?**

Turning away from our family I straddled Edward's lap resting my hands against his rock solid chest leaning my head against his making it impossible for him to not look into my eyes. I'd often wondered what he was thinking at the beginning of our relationship, after all he had tried to pull away from me so many times, but this wasn't what I had been expecting, my heart broke for my husband, wanting me so desperately but terrified that he wouldn't be able to have me. I could feel the tears threatening to spill over as I moved my hands into his hair, smiling as he leaned against my inhaling my scent, I knew that he was relaxing I only wished I could take away the pain.

"Ssh, it's okay you never have to be scared again. We're happy now that's all that matters."

"I know, I just hate that you have to hear all this negativity."

"I'm going to be totally honest with you now, if our roles were reversed I'd no doubt be just as scared as you were. I wanted you so badly to tell me how you felt but at the same time I was terrified of it."

"Really?"

"Mm hm. You were in my every thought. My dreams. No one has ever loved someone as much as I love you."

"I can think of one exception."

"Had a feeling you'd say that."

"Get a room!"

"We have one Emmett and you know what?"

"What?"

"Edward is definitely talented in other areas apart from piano playing. In fact I'd say we could put you and Rose to shame after my change."

"Bella!"

"Oh no."

"I'll read shall I?"

"Please do."

_**I love her, too. Or I will. It's not the same, but I want her around for that.**_

"**Love her, **_**too**_**?" I whispered, incredulous.**

**She sighed. **_**You are so blind, Edward. Can't you see where you're headed? Can't you see where you already are? It's more inevitable than the sun rising in the east. See what I see…**_

**I shook my head, horrified. "No." I tried to shut out the visions she revealed to me. "I don't have to follow that course. I'll leave. I **_**will **_**change the future."**

"**You can try," she said, her voice sceptical.**

"**Oh, **_**come on**_**!" Emmett bellowed.**

"**Pay attention," Rose hissed at him. "Alice sees him falling for a **_**human! **_**How classically Edward!" She made a gagging sound.**

"I'm sorry Bella, if I knew then what I know now I would never have reacted that way."

"I understand, I have always knows you're protective over family Rose, I saw that when Jake forced his kiss on me. After everything you went through before Carlisle turned you I don't blame you."

"How can you be so forgiving?"

"That's just me. You didn't know me very well back then, but now we are closer than I ever thought we could be. Despite the fact you can't change physically, you've opened up your heart to me. You'll always be my big sister."

"Thank you Bella."

"Family call me Bells."

"Well in that case you can continue to call me Rose."

"We will talk later okay."

"You got it."

**I scarcely heard her.**

"**What?" Emmett said, startled. Then his booming laugh echoed through the room. "Is that what's been going on?" He laughed again. "Tough break, Edward." **

**I felt his hand on my shoulder, and I shook it off absently. I couldn't pay attention to him.**

"_**Fall **_**for a human?" Esme repeated in a stunned voice. "For the girl he saved today? Fall in **_**love **_**with her?"**

"**What do you see Alice? Exactly," Jasper demanded.**

**She turned toward him; I continued to stare numbly at the side of her face.**

"**It all depends on whether he is strong enough or not. Either he'll kill her himself – she turned to meet my gaze again, glaring – "which would **_**really **_**irritate me, Edward not to mention what it would do to **_**you –" **_**she faced Jasper again, "or she'll be one of us someday."**

"Not sure I like where this is going."

"It's okay, love. Everything is okay remember."

"Mm. Just hard."

"I know. Are you hungry?"

"Eggs please."

"Eggs it is."

"Thank you Esme."

"Your welcome."

**Someone gasped; I didn't look to see who. **

"**That's not going to happen!" I was shouting again. "Either one!"**

**Alice didn't seem to hear me. "It all depends," she repeated. "He may just be strong enough not to kill her – but it will be close. It will take an amazing amount of control," she mused. "More even than Carlisle has. He may **_**just **_**be strong enough…"**

**I couldn't find my voice. No one else seemed to be able to either. The room was still. I stared at Alice, and everyone else stared at me. I could see my own horrified expression from five different viewpoints.**

**After a long moment, Carlisle sighed.**

"**Well, this…complicates things."**

"**I'll say," Emmett agreed. His voice was still close to laughter. Trust Emmett to find the joke in the destruction of my life.**

"**I suppose the plans remain the same, though." Carlisle said thoughtfully. "We'll stay, and watch. Obviously, no one will…hurt the girl." **

**I stiffened.**

"**No," Jasper said quietly. "I can agree to that. If Alice sees only two ways –. "**

"**No!" My voice was not a shout or a grown or a cry of despair, but some combination of all three. "No!"**

**I had to leave, be away from the noise of their thoughts – Rosalie's self-righteous disgust, Emmett's humour, Carlisle's never ending patience…**

**Worse: Alice's confidence. Jasper's confidence in that confidence.**

**Worst of all. Esme's…**_**joy**_**.**

"Oh Edward. How I wish you could have told me all this sooner."

"I didn't want you to run. If you knew back then the details of our fight."

"I'd have been upset yes, but I'm your mate Edward, I could stand by your side through anything."

"I'm sorry, so sorry."

"So are we son. We should have been more supportive."

"Everything worked out for the best."

"Can I read now?"

"Mm."

**I stalked out of the room. Esme touched my arm as I passed, but I didn't acknowledge the gesture. I was running before I was out of the house. I cleared the river in one bound, and raced into the forest. The rain was back again, falling so heavily that I was drenched in a few moments. I liked the thick sheet of water – it made a wall between me and the rest of the world. It closed me in, let me be alone. **

**I ran due east, over and through the mountains without breaking my straight course, until I could see the lights of Seattle on the other side of the sound. I stopped before I couched the borders of human civilization. Shut in by the rain, all alone, I finally made myself look at what I had done – at the way I had mutilated by the future.**

**First the vision of Alice and the girl with their arms around each other – the trust and friendship was so obvious it shouted from the image. Bella's wide chocolate eyes were not bewildered in this vision, but still full of secrets – in this moment, they seemed to be happy secrets. She did not flinch away from Alice's cold arms. What did it mean? How much did she know? In that still life moment from the future, what did she think of **_**me?**_

_I love you, all of you._

"I love you too angel."

"Enough with the mushy stuff. It's not often we get to hear inside Eddie's head."

"Shut up Emmett."

"Touchy."

"No I'm just sick of you. You think you know everything about Edward but you don't. Not by a long shot. So instead of being a complete moron how about you realise that sometimes your jokes just simply are not funny."

"Alright Bells I was only trying to lighten the mood."

"Idiot."

"Emmett I wouldn't push my wife if I were you. We have a baby on the way; I won't hesitate to take her away from here if I feel the need."

"Fine I'll behave."

**Then the other image, so much the same, yet now coloured by horror. Alice and Bella, their arms still wrapped around each other in trusting friendship. But now there was no difference between those arms – both were white, smooth as marble, hard as steel. Bella's wide eyes were no longer chocolate. The irises were shocking, vivid crimson. The secrets in them were unfathomable – acceptance or desolation? It was impossible to tell. Her face was cold and immortal. I shuddered. I could not suppress the questions, similar, but different: What did it mean – how had this come about? And what did she think of me now?**

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, human or vampire I will always love you. I don't have a life without you."

"I know Bella, shh; I promise I will change you."

"I'm sorry; it's just hard hearing some of this."

"We can take another break if you wish."

"I'd rather just get it over and done with, the quicker we read the faster you and I can go with Alice shopping."

"Why do I have to come?"

"Because this is your baby and I want your opinion. Please."

"I'll come."

"Plus Alice has a way of not paying attention when I get tired. With you there she'll listen."

"Hey!"

"Sorry Alice but you know it's true."

"Fine but he's not coming all the time."

"Oh yes he is. Sorry but you're not winning this one."

"Fine."

"Carry on."

**I could answer the last one. If I forced her into this empty half-life through my weakness and selfishness, surely she would hate me.**

_Never._

"I love you."

_Love you too._

Bella, here is your eggs."

"Thank you Esme. They're wonderful."

Tucking into my meal, I hummed as the eggs touched my tongue, ever since we'd found out about the baby I'd noticed how many eggs I'd been eating, but not only that, everything had a distinct taste now. Certain foods I couldn't handle, and others like eggs I couldn't get enough of. Resting my head against Edward's chest I smiled as he kissed my forehead as I ate nodding for Alice to continue reading.

**But there was one more horrifying image – worse than any image I'd ever held inside my head. My own eyes, deep crimson with human blood, the eyes of the monster. Bella's broken body in my arms, ashy white, drained, lifeless. It was so concrete, so clear. I couldn't stand to see this. Could not bear it. I tried to banish it from my mind, tried to see something self, anything else. Tried to see again the expression on her living face that had obstructed my view for the last chapter of my existence. All to no avail.**

**Alice's bleak vision filled my head and I writhed internally with the agony it caused. Meanwhile, the monster in me was overflowing with glee, jubilant at the likelihood of his success. It sickened me.**

"Alice before we go on I'd like to try something."

"What kind of something?"

"Shielding my body so that Edward isn't tormented by my blood."

"Sweetheart it doesn't bother me anymore I told you."

"I know, but I'm not stupid I can see your throat still burns, and if I can pull it off then I can shield the family whenever we are in danger or blood is spilled."

"Alright but eat first."

"Fine."

**This could not be allowed. There had to be a way to circumvent the future. I would not let Alice's visions direct me. I could choose a different path. There was always a choice. There had to be.**

"How's that decision working out for you Mr Cullen."

"I was a fool for thinking I would be able to stay away from you."

"That was the end of the chapter. Should we take a quick break."

"Before we go shopping I have some rules."

"Alright what are they?"

"I get final decision on what we buy, when Edward says we are going home, we go home and lastly, if we see any baby clothes, we only get what is necessary."

"Deal, can we go now."

"Just let me get changed first and then we can go."

Sliding off Edward's lap I walked the three flights of stairs into our bedroom, sliding myself gently out of my PJs slipping on a pale pink dress, sighing as I clipped the strapless bra into place, feeling the pain in my breasts instantly return. Taking a deep breath I rested my hand over my stomach rubbing it gently before walking back downstairs leaning against Edward as he led us toward the Volvo helping me into the passenger side. It wasn't long before we were on our way to Seattle.


	7. Shopping With Alice

**Title:** Receiving The Books – The Cullens Read Midnight Sun

**Author:** Bella Katelyn

**Rating:** M

**Summary:** On their arrival home from their honeymoon, Bella and Edward find out that five books have been delivered to the Cullen house. Four from the past and one of the future. Follow my story as they sit down to read. How will Bella react when she hears Edward's thoughts for the first time? How will Edward react when he realises Bella's feelings for him mirrored his own?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to author Stephanie Meyer, and are brought to the fandom by Summit Entertainment. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours. With that said I hope you enjoy this story as much as I'm going to enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

**Shopping Trip**

**EPOV**

By the time we arrived in Seattle I could tell Bella was relieved to have a break from reading the books, even if it was only for a brief period of time. Taking one hand off the steering wheel I took her hand in mine running my thumb across her palm soothing her nerves. I can't say I blamed her after all we did have Alice with us. Looking in the rear-view mirror I couldn't help but smirk at the way Alice's mount turned down into a pout, she knew I was only teasing her but there was no way I was going to let her know that any time soon. Pulling into the mall parking lot, I found a space closer to the entrance, knowing how tired Bella was starting to get even if she did try and hide it from me. Shutting off the engine I slid out of the Volvo walking at human speed to the passenger side helping Bella from the car, trying to hide my laughter at Alice's thoughts.

"I know what you're about to say and yes it was necessary for me to drive at human speed. I have a pregnant wife to consider; now I suggest you put a smile on your face before we get back in the car and go home."

"I'm not in a bad mood; I just don't want to waste precious shopping time."

"Alice remember our deal. You need to stick by it."

"Fine, fine let's go."

Wrapping my arms around Bella's waist I walked through the double doors internally groaning at how many hours we were likely to be spending shopping, but I'd do anything for Bella and she wanted me here I'd endure all the shopping Alice could throw at me if it meant I would put a smile on her face. Before we could even ask which store she wanted to look in first, Alice was already heading toward Pea In A Pod. Something told me Alice had already made reservations on every store she was taking us to; I only hoped Bella would be receptive to this because the last thing I wanted was for her to be upset.

"Bella, love I'm just letting you know now Alice has already bought you some things."

"I did wonder why she agreed so readily with you coming along. Maybe we can distract her long enough to escape if she gets too overbearing."

"I'm sure we can think of something. After all we did tell her that you would be picking out some items of clothing yourself."

"I'm sure whatever she chose is beautiful. Plus it gives us a chance to come back on our own later. There is only so much of Alice I can handle in long periods of time when she drags us shopping."

"I like the way you think Mrs Cullen."

"Thought you might."

"Hey! I heard that."

"Sorry Ali, you know I love you right."

"Of course."

"Then make me one promise."

"Anything."

"Let me pick out a few things for myself, I'll wear anything you buy me but I _need _to have some clothes that are comfortable."

"I think I can manage that. Come on."

Taking a deep breath I leaned my head against Edward's shoulder as we walked into the store behind Alice, I couldn't believe I'd actually managed to manipulate the psychic but so far she didn't seem to have worked out that I used her own tactics against her. Once we were inside the store it didn't take me long to fall in love with pretty much everything in stock, something which didn't happen often. Looking into Edward's eyes I could tell he was eager to buy me something and although it still bothered me when Edward paid I was slowly learning to overcome her reluctance in being given gifts of any kind and she knew how much Edward liked buying things for her.

"Edward, I really like those dresses over there and I could do with some new swear pants and t shirts."

"Are you really going to let me pay for them?"

"Mm, I give up fighting it and even if I did you'd cheat and try and dazzle me."

"That's true. Anything else you would like?"

"I need bigger bras; they're already starting to hurt."

"Would you like to use my t shirts for bed?"

"Mm."

"How are you feeling?"

"Extremely nauseous."

"We'll get you home after we get these. Alice can do the rest."

"I wanted to see Charlie."

"And we will later."

"Alright."

Leaning my head against Edward I buried my head into his shoulder breathing in his unique scent finding that it helped ease my morning sickness slightly. By the time Alice had finished getting everything she had ordered for me, I could feel my stomach starting to turn again as she whimpered low enough that only Edward and Alice could hear. By the time Alice had picked up all her bags I was desperately trying to keep my breakfast from reappearing.

"Excuse me; do you have any bathrooms here?"

"Through the door to the left."

"Thank you."

"Do you want me to come with you, love?"

"I'll be alright. Promise. I love you."

"Love you too angel."

Moving slowly away from Edward I made a dash for the public toilets suddenly feeling thankful that no one was already inside. Covering my mouth quickly I dashed into the cubicle bending over as I lost my breakfast. So much for the morning sickness not being so harsh. Resting my head against the porcelain toilet lid loving the feeling of the cold against my heated flesh. Feeling my stomach turn again I groaned, lifting the lid as I retched again instantly feeling the tears falling down my cheeks. Taking another deep breath I stood up slowly, flushing the chain before instantly rinsing my mouth out in the sink desperately wishing I had some toothpaste to freshen my mouth completely. Once I was completely sure I wasn't going to get sick again I made my way slowly back toward the love of my existence.

"Alright that's it we're going home."

"Yes please I don't feel very well at all and I'm…um…"

"Don't be embarrassed sweetheart what do you need?"

"I'm thirsty."

"Alice has already thought of that, she's gone to get a cup for your blood."

"When did you get that?"

"We brought it with us; I suspected you might need some."

"Can we wait in the car?"

"Of course would you like to lay down in the back seat?"

"Mm hm."

Wrapping my arms around Edward's neck, I smiled as he picked me up bridal style allowing me to burry my head into his chest. Instantly I felt at ease again despite the constant queasiness. What amazed me most was he was still able to carry our shopping bags at the same time. Closing my eyes I slowly started to fall asleep just as we made it to the car. As promised, he made up a bed in the back of the Volvo lowering me into the back seats. My head rested against the pillows as I sighed deeply sleep instantly taking me. I was vaguely aware of Edward covering me with a duvet before I fell into a deep sleep.

**EPOV**

The one thing I hated more than seeing Bella upset, it was seeing her in any type of pain. Turning my head toward the back seat I smiled seeing her fast asleep, I knew then that we would be putting off our other errands until she'd woken up. By the time Alice arrived with Bella's blood I was ready to go home, although something told me she was only coming with us because without anyone else to dress up shopping had lost its appeal. The journey home went much quicker than the journey there, mainly because with Bella sleeping, my focus was more on driving than making sure she was feeling okay. Five minutes later we were pulling into the driveway and I could already hear the rest of our family's eager thoughts. Rolling my eyes I sighed knowing whether Bella was awake or not they would want to start reading, however unless Bella was awake to hear them,

_Come on Eddie play fair, we have had to wait all morning while you three went shopping._

"Shut up Emmett and stop calling me Eddie."

_Dude I was teasing relax._

"I understand you want to find out what else will happen in the books but right now I am more concerned with giving Bella the blood she needs in order for her to keep something in her stomach. She was sick whilst we were out."

"Is there anything we can do son."

"I noticed her stomach looks more rounded, I had a feeling this wouldn't be a normal pregnancy I just didn't expect so many changes to happen this soon."

"When we did the sonogram last week I found out she would be slightly shorter than a human pregnancy, my estimations are around 6 to 7 months."

"And the baby will be full term."

"Correct."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome son."

"Edward are we home yet?"

"We're home, love. Would you like to head up to bed or get comfortable on the couch whilst Esme cooks your eggs."

"Couch please."

"Your wish my command."

Walking through the back door I smiled as I watched Emmett and Jasper set up a small bed on the white leather couches, vampires they may be; but when it comes to my wife she has both of them wrapped around her little finger. Once they were completely satisfied with everything, I gently lowered Bella into the makeshift bed smiling as she relaxed her head against the soft pillows before taking the cup of blood from Alice, the minute she brought it to her mouth I could tell a difference, her paled face from her earlier bout of morning sickness started to get colour in them again, my eyes met Carlisle's as he watched us together, his thoughts filled with pride. I knew he was going to make a wonderful grandfather.

**BPOV**

After draining the cup of blood I eagerly took my eggs from Esme starting to eat slowly, the last thing I wanted was to get sick again, I could feel everyone's eyes on me as I ate, suddenly wishing I'd made a deal with them that they had to eat with me if they wanted to watch me. Just like earlier on in the day I started to feel instantly better after drinking my blood and eating my eggs. Once I was finished eating, I went to push the plate away, however before I could Esme was already clearing everything away. Sitting up I smiled as Edward slid behind my back allowing me to rest my head against his chest as Emmett looked at me with his eyes sparkling.

"Spit it out Emmett what do you want to say?"

"When can we continue with the books?"

"Well I did want to go and see Charlie but we can put that off until later if everyone is eager to start reading again."

"Awesome."

Rolling my eyes I snuggled into Edward taking his hands in mine as they rested against my baby bump. Taking a deep breath I smiled at the thought of seeing our baby, I only hoped that these books would give us some insight into how she would grow or if anything had changed. I let my mind wander to the last book wondering if we would have a baby in these books. Although something told me that this pregnancy would be different to whatever had been written in these books. Pushing my thoughts aside I felt Edward's cool breath on my neck as Esme opened the book again preparing for us all to read the next chapter of Midnight Sun.


	8. Invitations

**Title:** Receiving The Books – The Cullens Read Midnight Sun

**Author:** Bella Katelyn

**Rating:** M

**Summary:** On their arrival home from their honeymoon, Bella and Edward find out that five books have been delivered to the Cullen house. Four from the past and one of the future. Follow my story as they sit down to read. How will Bella react when she hears Edward's thoughts for the first time? How will Edward react when he realises Bella's feelings for him mirrored his own?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to author Stephanie Meyer, and are brought to the fandom by Summit Entertainment. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours. With that said I hope you enjoy this story as much as I'm going to enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

**Invitations**

**BPOV**

Once everyone was settled into position around the couch, I relaxed into Edward's arms as he rubbed my growing stomach, I didn't need to hear his thoughts to know how excited he was. It was written all over his face every time he looked at me. Taking one last deep breath I found myself completely calm looking in Jasper's direction smiling as I realised he was sending calming waves out toward me. Before Alice could react to the fact I was wearing my new sweats, Esme cleared her throat as she began to read.

**High School. Purgatory no longer, it was now purely hell. Torment and fire…yes, I had both. I was doing everything correctly now. Every "I" dotted, every "t" crossed. No one could complain that I was shirking my responsibilities. To please Esme and protect the others, I stayed in Forks. I returned to my old schedule. I hunted no more than the rest of them. Every day, I attended high school and played human. Every day I listened carefully for anything new about the Cullens – there never was anything new. The girl did not speak one word of her suspicions.**

"You should have told me how you felt baby, I would have understood."

"I know that now sweetheart, I was so conflicted back then if I could do things differently I would."

"We can't change the past, all we can do is learn from our mistakes."

"That's true. Looking back at how I was then I barely recognise myself."

"You've grown; you don't think you're taking things away from me anymore."

"When did you get so wise?"

"Always have been."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

**She just repeated the same story again and again – I'd been standing with her and then pulled her out of the way – till her eager listeners got bored and stopped looking for more details. There was no danger. My hasty actions had hurt no one. No one but myself. I was determined to change the future. Not the easiest task to set for oneself, but there was no other choice that I could live with. Alice said that I would not be strong enough to stay away from the girl. I would prove her wrong.**

"How's that one working out for you big bro?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah."

"You should have learned by now that I'm never going to lose a bet."

"Oh I'm sure there is a way; we just haven't figured it out yet."

"Keep trying."

"Oh I will."

"Children."

"Sorry mom."

**I'd thought the first day would be the hardest. By the end of it, I'd been **_**sure **_**that was the case. I'd been wrong, though. It had rankled, knowing that I would hurt the girl. I'd comforted myself with the fact that her pain would be nothing more than a pin prick – just a tiny sting of rejection – compared to mine.**

"I think the less said on that the better. It's going to be hard enough if they are featured in the other books without going into everything now."

"How right you are."

"I still wish you'd just spoken to me sooner though. No matter how angry I was at you I would never tell your secret."

"We know lil sis."

"Should I go on?"

"Yes please mom."

**Bella was human, and she knew that I was something else, something wrong, something frightening. She would probably be more relieved than wounded when I turned my face away from her and pretended that she didn't exist. **

"**Hello, Edward," she'd greeted me, that first day back in biology. Her voice had been pleasant, friendly, one hundred and eighty degrees from the last time I'd spoken with her. Why? What did the change mean? Had she forgotten? Decided she had imagined the whole episode? Could she possibly have forgiven me for not following through on my promise? The question had burned like the thirst that attacked me every time I breathed. Just one moment to look into her eyes. Just to see if I could read the answers there…**

"I was fascinated by you. I wanted to find out everything about you yet at the same time I wasn't sure how to."

"I felt the same way, the fact that I couldn't read your thoughts just made it harder."

"You can read them now though."

"And they are beautiful."

"I think we have both learned a lot over the last few years the main one being always tell each other how you're feeling."

"We're stronger because of it."

"That we are."

"Mine."

"Yours."

"Get a room."

"We have one but I thought you wanted to carry on reading Emm."

"Good point."

**No. I could not allow myself even that. Not if I was going to change the future. I'd moved my chin an inch in her direction without looking away from the front of the room. I'd nodded once, and then turned my face straight forward. She did not speak to me again. That afternoon as soon as school was finished, my role played, I ran to Seattle as I had the day before. It seemed that I could handle the aching just slightly better when I was flying over the ground, turning everything around me into a green blur. This run became my daily habit. Did I love her? I did not think so. Not yet. Alice's glimpses of that future had stuck with me, though, and I could see how easy it would be to fall into loving Bella. It would be exactly like falling effortless. Not letting myself love her was the opposite of falling – it was putting myself up a cliff-face hand over hand, the task as gruelling as if I had no more than mortal strength.**

I shuddered, snuggling closer to Edward as I remembered the stupidity I went through when Edward left, motor cycles, cliff diving, jumping off that cliff was one of the stupidest things I'd ever done, looking back on it I realised if I had just stayed put, maybe I would have been the one to answer the phone and not Jake. Although maybe Alice wouldn't have come back to check on me at all. That thought wasn't easy to think of. Lifting my hand to my face I desperately tried to control my breathing not wanting to cry again.

"I'm sorry Bella. So sorry."

"I forgot you could hear my thoughts now. I shouldn't have thought about that."

"None of it is your fault; I should have talked to you before reacting."

"I understand, you might not understand why I do, but I think us being apart those months, they made us stronger when we came home. You stopped worrying about everything I was losing and just let yourself love me."

"And I always will."

"Forever."

**More than a month passed, and every day it got harder. That made no sense to me – I kept waiting to get over it, to have it get easier. This must be what Alice had meant when she'd predicted that I wouldn't be able to stay away from the girl. She had seen the escalation of the pain. But I could handle pain. I would not destroy Bella's future. If I was destined to love her, then wasn't avoiding her the least I could do?**

"This reminds me of my thoughts when you were so distant after my birthday. I wanted to talk to you but I was afraid of what the answer would be."

"We really are made for each other."

"I was born to be a vampire just as I was born to be your mate. No amount of avoidance could change that."

"How did you know that?"

"Because I was pulled toward you, even when you were ignoring me I wanted to reach out and touch you. The only thing that was stopping me was the fear of you rejecting me. I didn't understand how you could save me one day then ignore me the next."

"I'm sorry."

"I forgave you a long time ago. Me hearing your thoughts is making me see your side of things so much better. I see why you were so reluctant to agree to change me. It makes me sad to hear you were hurting but we made it. We are finally living our happily ever after."

"And I couldn't be happier."

"Me either."

**Avoiding her was about the limit of what I could bear, though. I could pretend to ignore her, and never look her way. I could pretend that she was of no interest to me. But that was the extent, just pretence and not reality. I still hunt on every breath she took, every word she said. I lumped my torments into categories. The first two were familiar. Her scent and her silence. Or, rather – to take the responsibility on myself where it belonged – my thirst and my curiosity. The thirst was the most primal of my torments. It was my habit now to simply not breathe at all in Biology. Of course, there was always the exceptions – when I had to answer a question or something of the sort, and I would need my breath to speak. Each time I tasted the air around the girl, it was the same as the first day – fire and need and brutal violence desperate to break free. It was hard to cling even slightly to reason or restraint in those moments. And, just like the first day, the monster in me would roar, so close to the surface.**

"Wish I'd been able to cloak myself so you didn't have to suffer."

"It doesn't bother me much anymore."

"How? I mean I know your throat still burns."

"I lived 24 hours thinking you were dead. The bloodlust is none existent now."

"Wow."

"Then I found out about our little one and I made a promise to myself, I need to be strong for you and our baby, no matter what happens I will never let my thirst overcome me again when it comes to you."

"I love you, so much, you're everything to me."

"You are my life now."

"Aww."

"Whipped."

"And you're not. Would you deny Rose anything?"

"Well no."

"I just know how to treat a lady."

"Hey!"

"Moron."

"Boys."

"Sorry mom."

**The curiosity was the most constant of my torments. The question was never out of my mind. **_**What is she thinking now? **_**When I heard her quietly sigh. When she twisted a lock of hair absently around her finger. When she threw her books down with more force than usual. When she rushed to class late. When she tapped her foot impatiently against the floor. Each movement caught in my peripheral vision was a maddening mystery.**

"Alice can I talk to you for a moment?"

"Of course."

"In private?"

"Come to my room I'll turn the IPod on loud."

Kissing Edward lightly on the lips, I slid out from underneath the duvet cover letting him know I'd be back soon in my thoughts, I could tell he was wondering what was so urgent that I'd need to disturb the reading. But I couldn't let him know yet, not without confirmation from Alice that it would work. Five minutes later we were sitting in the middle of Alice and Jasper's bed with the music up loud enough to block out sensitive ears yet not loud enough to give me a headache.

"What's on your mind?"

"I was wondering if I'd be able to show Edward everything I was feeling from back there by thinking about it. I know it will no doubt be described in the books but I want him to see from me first."

"I think that's a wonderful idea. Why do you need me?"

"I need to know if it will work. Could you look into the future for me?"

"Anything for you sweetie."

Biting my bottom lip I waited for Alice to come out of her vision, I could see her whole face light up with excitement as her golden eyes came alive again. As she turned to face me I knew my plan would work. I'd always wanted to be able to show Edward my thoughts even though I'd constantly said I liked that he couldn't get inside my head. Trying to keep a straight face, I walked downstairs with Alice following sliding back underneath the covers leaning my head against Edward's chest as I opened my mind to him. Starting from the first day our eyes met across a crowded cafeteria, the first few months of Biology together, including after Tyler's van had almost crushed me, all the way up to our wedding day. Looking into his eyes I could tell he was shocked by my actions, if anything he looked even more in love with me than he already was.

"Now you know. No one has ever loved anyone as much as I love you."

"I can think of one exception. How?"

"I've been practicing. I'm pretty sure everything will be explained in the books but I wanted you to see everything from me before we got to those. I've loved you from day one and I'll never stop. Even when you were avoiding me I was in love with you. Not just the vampire but the man. I love you Edward Anthony Masen Cullen."

"I love you too Isabella."

"We can talk about this later, let's read."

"Sorry."

"It's okay dear."

**When she spoke to the other human students, I analysed her every word and tone. Was she speaking her thoughts, or what she thought she should say? It reminded me of my family and our daily life of illusion – we were better at it than she was. Unless I was about that, just imagining things. Why would she have to play a role? She was one of them – a human teenager. Mike Newton was the most surprising of my torments. Who would have dreamed that such a generic, boring mortal could be so infuriating? To be fair, I should have felt some gratitude to the annoying boy, more than the others, he kept the girl talking. I learned so much about her through these conversations I was still complying my list – but, contrarily, Mike's assistance with this project only aggravated me more. I didn't want Mike to be the one that unlocked her secrets. I wanted to do that.**

"Mike annoyed me. I was too nice."

"You never have to see him again."

"How long do you think we have left in Forks?"

"I can't say for sure but maybe a few years. The stares and odd thoughts seem to be dying down. After all we have a new addition on the way; I told you human's forget easily. Everyone just thinks we had plastic surgery. The minute I hear a change in their thoughts again we will need to move on."

"O-okay."

"Don't worry, love. You'll still see Charlie."

"Promise."

"I promise."

**It helped that he never noticed her small revelations, her little slips. He knew nothing about her. He's created a Bella in his head that didn't exist – a girl just as generic as he was. He hadn't observed the unselfishness and bravery that set her apart from other humans; he didn't hear the abnormal maturity of her spoken thoughts. He didn't perceive that when she spoke of her mother, she sounded like a parent speaking of a child rather than the other way around – loving, indulgent, slightly amused, and fiercely protective. He didn't hear the patience in her voice as she feigned interest in his rambling stories, and didn't guess at the kindness behind the patience. **

"I miss my mom."

"We can visit her after the baby is born if you'd like."

"I'd like that."

"Then it's settled then."

"Mmmm."

**Through her conversations with Mike, I was able to add the most important quality to my list; the most revealing of them all, as simple as if it were rare. Bella was **_**good**_**. All the other things added up to that whole – kind and self-effacing and unselfish and loving and brave – she was good through and through. These helpful discoveries did not warm me to the boy, however. The possessive way he viewed Bella – as if she were an acquisition to be made – provoked me almost as much as his crude fantasies about her. He was becoming more confident of her, too, as the time passed, for she seemed to prefer him over those he considered his rivals - Tyler Crowley, Eric Yorkie, and even, sporadically, myself. He would routinely sit on her side of our table before class began, chatting at her, encouraged by her smiles. Just polite smiles, I told myself. All the same, I frequently amused myself by imagining backhanding him across the room and into the far wall… It probably wouldn't injure him fatally…**

"Edward! I know you didn't like their thoughts but there are other ways of getting revenge."

"I know, love. I think we taught Mike and Jessica not to mess with us."

"I'll never trust her again."

"Angela and Ben are the ones who I miss. Maybe we can keep in contact with them."

"I'd like that."

"Me too."

**Mike didn't often think of me as a rival. After the accident, he'd worried that Bella and I would bond from the shared experience, but obviously the opposite had resulted. Back then, he had still been bothered that I'd singled Bella out over her peers for attention. But now I ignored her just as thoroughly as the others, and he grew complacent. What was she thinking now? Did she welcome his attention? And finally, the last of my torments, the most painful. Bella's indifference. **

"I was thinking about you. And I think we all know that I did not like the attention."

"You amaze me sweetheart."

"Really?"

"I can't see any other human in that school being able to carry a vampire/human baby and be so calm."

"This baby means everything to me; I'm able to give you the child you always wanted."

"And I will spend my existence showering you with gifts for giving me this precious miracle."

"I think I can handle that."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

**As I ignored her, she ignored me. She never tried to speak to me again. For all I knew, she never thought of me at all. This might have driven me mad – or even broken my resolution to change the future – except that she sometimes stared at me like she had before. I didn't see it for myself, as I couldn't allow myself to look at her, but Alice always warned us when she was able to stare; the others were still wary of the girl's problematic knowledge. It eased some of the pain that she gazed at me from across a distance, every now and then. Of course she could just be wondering what kind of a freak I was.**

"Never, you want to know what I was really thinking that day?"

"I'd love to."

"I was trying to build up the courage to yell at you. Your moods were all over the place, like I said at the time you were giving me a serious case of whiplash with your indecision. Of course knowing what I do now I understand why you held yourself back so much. You'll always be my Edward, no matter how much we disagree, there isn't anything you can do that can make me stay mad at you for long, all you need to do is gaze at me and I completely lose my train of thought."

"Bella, love."

"Mm."

"You truly are a marvellous woman. I'm so lucky to have you."

"I'm the lucky one."

"Enough with the smooshy stuff."

"Sorry I'll shut up now so we can read."

**Bella's going to stare at Edward in a minute. Look normal," Alice said one Tuesday in March, and the others were careful to fidget and shift in their weight like humans; absolute stillness was a marker of our kind. I paid attention to how often she looked in my direction. It pleased me, though it should not, that the frequently did not decline as the time passed. I didn't know what it meant, but it made me feel better**.

**Alice sighed. **_**I wish…**_

"**Stay out of it Alice," I said under my breath. "It's not going to happen."**

**She pouted. Alice was anxious to form her envisioned friendship with Bella. In a strange way she missed the girl she didn't know.**

_**I'll admit, you're better than I thought. You've got the future all snarled up and senseless again. I hope you're happy.**_

"**It makes plenty of sense to me."**

"You would say that? You know if I knew how much you were hurting I'd have simply stood up and walked to your table. Hearing how much you were both hurting makes me sad."

"I never wanted to hurt you sweetheart."

"I know Edward, and as much as I understand your motives, I still wish we could have spoken sooner and saved both of us all the pain."

"I'm sorry, love."

"Don't be. We're happy now that's all that matters."

"Love you."

"Oh and Alice?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"I think it's time we spoke to the wolves. I've spoken to Sam and signed the treaty but the others don't know about the baby."

"I'll sort it out."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

**She snorted delicately. I tried to shut her out, too impatient for conversation. I wasn't in a very good mood – tenser than I let any of them see. Only Jasper was aware of how tightly wound up I was, feeling the stress emanate out of me with his unique ability to both sense and influence the moods of others. He didn't understand the reasons behind the moods, though, and – since I was constantly in a foul mood these days – but disregarded it….**

* * *

**Mating Time**

**EPOV**

Hearing my thoughts from when I first met Bella had started to take its toll. I still didn't understand why or even how Bella was staying so calm. Looking toward Jasper I smiled slightly as I knew he could feel my anxiety. Burying my head into Bella's hair I inhaled her scent smiling as I finally managed to calm down. Taking an unnecessary deep breath, I sighed resting my head gently against Bella's shoulder purring as she wrapped her hands into my hair. Her chocolate brown eyes were filled with love and passion I was instantly hard, her eyebrow raised upward as I started to smell her arousal.

"Edward honey would you like us to take a break."

"Oh god yes."

"Away you go."

Smiling brightly I stood up holding Bella bridal style before running at vampire speed up to our bedroom on the third floor kicking the door closed with my foot. Lowering Bella to the ground I crashed my lips into hers trailing my tongue across her lips begging for entrance, letting out a low moan as she granted me access. Moving forward, I pushed Bella against the bed "dazzling her" as she lay against the soft mattress. Without thinking I ripped her clothes from her body so she was spread out in all her wonderful naked glory, in the dim light I could tell her eyes were full of need.

"Tell me what you want Bella."

"You, all of you in me now."

"Your wish my command."

Tearing my own clothes from my body, I slowly climbed onto the bed, hovering over my beautiful bride being careful to keep my weight off her, the last thing I wanted to do was hurt our child. Instantly her legs wrapped around my waist as I felt how wet she was for me, once again the feeling that I could do this to her went straight to my hardened erection. Positioning myself in front of Bella's entrance, I slowly pushed myself inside her, smiling as her body stretched to accommodate my member. Once inside my beautiful wife I slowly started to move inside her, pulling almost all the way out before moving back into her heat. Before long I had built up a rhythm and Bella was completely relaxed in my arms, moaning out my name as we moved together as one. Her fingers dug into the skin on my neck.

"Ed—Edward more. Faster. More."

""You're so tight, so wet for me."

"Only you, only you can make me feel this way."

Picking up speed I felt her walls tighter against my hardened member feeling the now familiar coil into my stomach as I felt both of our orgasms come to the surface, the hooded look my wife sent me told me she wouldn't last much longer, Pulling all the way out again, I smiled as she whimpered at the loss of contact. Taking an unnecessary deep breath, I managed to calm myself down enough to think clearly, once I'd managed this, I pushed back into my wife the smile clearly plain to see on Bella's face as she clenched against my member again, this time I felt my own orgasm coming thick and fast,

"Bella love, I'm…"

"I know Edward I can feel it."

"Come for me, love."

"EDWAAAARD!"

"BELLLLA."

Once, twice, there more thrusts and we came together, wrapping my arms around Bella's back as I pumped my seed into her over and over again until there was nothing left. Rolling us over without pulling out, I held her close smiling as she tried to catch her breath again. Kissing her forehead gently, I myself was panting heavily and for someone who didn't need to breathe it wasn't very often this happened. Looking into her eyes I smiled seeing them sparkling.

"Why exactly did we wait so long?"

"Well, love. First of all we found out you were pregnant, then the books came."

"Let's not wait so long next time."

"Agreed. I love you Mrs Cullen."

"I love you too Mr Cullen."

"They heard everything didn't they?"

"They did but they won't say anything."

"Good."

"Would you like to shower?"

"Only if you come with."

"As you wish my love."

Pulling out of Bella's heat, I moved slowly away from my beautiful wife before standing up holding out my hand as I helped her stand up, I could already hear Emmett's mental musings as he tried to think of ways to embarrass us, although something told me if he tried anything Rosalie would make sure he missed out on exactly that for the foreseeable future. Wrapping my arms around Bella's waist I walked toward the bathroom switching on the shower before getting in holding out my hand once more. Once Bella entered the shower I washed her hair and body after which she repeated the gesture by washing my hair and body. By the time we left the shower I noticed more clothes on the sink, smiling. Alice. Five minutes later we were dried and dressed and once again ready to start reading again.

* * *

**Invitations Part 2**

**BPOV**

As we sat down I could tell Emmett was trying to come up with things to embarrass us, although he would be sad to find out nothing would make me embarrassed about being with Edward that way, it was natural and given the fact that I was pregnant we (unlike most of the mated couples here) were limited in the amount of time we were actually going to be able to sate our need f or each other's bodies. Resting my head against Edward's bare chest I smiled against his skin feeling calmer and more relaxed than I had done since we left Isle Esme. Taking a deep breath I started to eat the food Esme had created for me whilst we had been otherwise occupied as every member of our family look in our direction.

"Are we ready to start reading again?"

"We are. Thank you for waiting."

"You're welcome dear."

**Today would be a hard one. Harder than the day before, as was the pattern. Mike Newton, the odious boy whom I could not allow myself to rival, was going to ask Bella on a date. A girl's choice dance was on the near horizon, and he'd been hoping very much that Bella would ask him. That she had not done so had rattled his confidence. Now he was in an uncomfortable bind – I enjoyed his discomfort more than I should - because Jessica Stanley had just asked him to the dance. He didn't want to say "yes," still hopeful that Bella would choose him (and prove him the victor over his rivals), but he didn't want to say "no" and end up missing the dance altogether.**

"Sometimes I wish I had been brave enough to ask you to the girls' choice dance. I really did enjoy Prom."

"We can still go dancing if you wish?"

"I'd like that."

"The hospital's annual ball is in a few months, we can go along with Carlisle and Esme?"

"I'd love to."

"That's settled then."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

**Jessica, hurt by his hesitation and guessing the reason behind it, was thinking daggers at Bella. Again, I had the instinct to place myself between Jessica's angry thought and Bella. I understand the instinct better now, but that only made it more frustrating when I couldn't act on it. To think it had come to this! I was utterly fixated on the pretty high school dramas that I'd once held so in contempt. Mike was working up his nerve as he walked Bella to biology. I listened to his struggles as I waited for them to arrive. The boy was weak. He had waited for this dance purposefully, afraid to make his infatuation known before she had shown a marked preference for him. He didn't want to make himself vulnerable to rejection, preferring that she make that leap first. Coward.**

"That's not the word I would use."

"You never have to worry about him anymore sweetheart."

"I know, I think Jess finally realised that she had been holding onto something that was never there especially when she saw that we are having a baby who knows maybe there is hope for her yet."

"What are you thinking love?"

"I'm not sure really. Maybe a party or something, I'd really like to see Angela and Ben again, we could invite Mike and Jess and see what's really going on there. I'm no mind reader but it seemed like she was really lonely."

"That's what I was picking up from her thoughts."

"So we're having a party then?"

"It appears so."

"YAY!"

"Go plan your party Alice. I'm sure you'll be able to hear."

"Thanks Bella."

"You're welcome."

**He sat down on our table again, comfortable with long familiarity, and I imagined the sound it would make if his body hit the opposite wall with enough force to break most of his bones.**

"**So," he said to the girl, his eyes on the floor. "Jessica asked me to the spring dance."**

"**That's great," Bella answered immediately and with enthusiasm. It was hard not to smile as her tone sunk in to Mike's awareness. He's been hoping for dismay. You'll have a lot of fun with Jessica."**

**He scrambled for the right response. "Well…" he hesitated and almost chickened out. Then he rallied. "I told her I'd have to think about it." **

"**Why would you do that?" she demanded. Her tone was one of disapproval, but there was the faintest hint of relief there as well. What did **_**that **_**mean? An unexpected, intense fury made my hands clench into fists. Mike did not hear the relief. His face was red with blood – fierce as I suddenly felt, this seemed like an invitation – and he looked at the floor as he spoke.**

"**I was wondering if… well, if you might be planning to ask me." **

**Bella hesitated.**

**In that moment of her hesitation, I saw the future more clearly than Alice ever had. The girl might say yes to Mike's unspoken question now and she might not but either way, someday soon, she would say yes to someone. She was lovely and intriguing and human males were not oblivious to this fact.**

"The only one who I will ever say yes to is you."

"I know, love."

"Good make sure you keep remembering that otherwise I won't hesitate to get your sisters to smack you."

"I don't think we have to go that far."

"Love you."

"Love you too baby."

**Whether she would settle for someone in this lacklustre crowd or wait until she was free from Forks, the day would come when she **_**would **_**say yes. I saw her life as I had before – college, career, love, marriage. I saw her on her father's arm again, dressed in gauzy white, her face blushed with happiness as she moved to the sound of Wagner's march. The pain was more than anything I'd felt before. A human would have to be on the point of death to feel this pain – a human would not live through it. And not just pain, but outright **_**rage.**_

"That's how I felt...when you left."

"Why did you never say anything?"

"You blame yourself. I don't want you to have more added to it."

"I always want to know how you're feeling Bella. Always even if it hurts."

"Back then, it felt like a huge hole had been punched through my chest, I'm sure it'll be in one of the books and I've explained it to you. When you left you took my heart with you, leaving behind an empty shell, Charlie tried to get me back to Jacksonville but I refused to go I couldn't go somewhere you'd never be able to go. Forks is my home now. It became truly home the first day that you trusted yourself with me. You are my life, my love and my best friend and soon to be father of our child. I love you Edward, if you weren't here, I wouldn't have fallen in love. _Ever."_

"So sorry, Bella."

"I know you are, but Edward you need to forgive yourself. You were protecting me, neither of us could have predicted the way I felt afterward, we've come on so much more since then, we're married, going to be parents, not only that but we're fully mated, you Mr Cullen are _MINE_,."

"Yours. Only yours."

**The fury ached for some kind of physical outlet. Though this insignificant undeserving boy might not be the one that Bella would say yes to, I yearned to crush his skull in my hand, to let him stand by as a representative for whatever it would be. I didn't understand this emotion – it was such a tangle of pain and rage and desire and despair . I had never felt it before, I couldn't put a name on it.**

"That my dear brother is jealousy, and you were full of it for the first 4 months of meeting Bella."

"I know that now."

"Just a friendly reminder."

"Children please."

"Sorry mom."

"**Mike, I think you should tell her yes," Bella said in a gentle voice.**

**Mike's hopes plummeted. I would have enjoyed that under other circumstances, but I was lost in the aftershock of the pain – and the remorse for what the pain and page had done to me. Alice was right. I was **_**not **_**strong enough. Right now, Alice would be watching the future spin and twist, become mangled again. Would this please her?**

"**Did you already ask someone?" Mike asked sullenly. He glanced at me suspicious for the first time in many weeks. I realised I had betrayed my interest; my head was inclined in Bella's direction. The wild envy in his thoughts – envy for whoever this girl preferred to him – suddenly put a name to my unnamed emotion. I was jealous. **

"**No," the girl said with a trace of humour in her voice. "I'm not going to the dance at all."**

**Though all the remorse and answer, I felt relief at her words. Suddenly I was considering **_**my **_**rivals. **

"Silly Vampire."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

"**Why not?" Mike asked, his tone almost rude. It offended me that he used this tone with her. I bit back a growl.**

"**I'm going to Seattle that Saturday," she answered.**

**The curiosity was not as vicious as it would have been before – now that I was fully intending to find out the answer to everything. I would know the wheres and whys of this new revelation soon enough.**

**Mike's tone turned unpleasantly wheedling. "Can't you go some other weekend?" **

"**Sorry, no." Bella was brusquer now. "So you shouldn't make Jess wait any longer – it's rude." **

**Her concern for Jessica's feelings fanned the flames of my jealousy. This Seattle trip was clearly an excuse to say no – did she refuse purely out of loyalty to her friend?**

"If I didn't know any better I'd say the boys of Forks High had cooked up asking me out on purpose just to annoy you."

"That wasn't too far off the case although Tyler, well we both know what he did."

"Fill us in brother dear."

"Well, Bella and I were in the limo on our way to prom, and Charlie called me, asking why Tyler Crowley was standing on his doorstep saying he was taking Bella to prom."

"NO1 He didn't."

"He did. I hated Tyler ever since that moment at least Eric gave up when I started to date Edward he and Katie still seem happy."

"They are."

"That's good to hear."

**She was more than selfless enough for that. Did she actually wish she could say yes? Or were both guesses wrong? Was she interested in someone else?"**

"Now I wish that you really could read my thoughts back then, the only one on my mind was you."

"My beautiful Bella."

"I love you."

"Love you too angel."

"**Yeah, you're right," Mike mumbled, so demoralised that I almost felt pity for him. Almost. He dropped his eyes from the girl, cutting off my view of her face in his thoughts. I wasn't going to tolerate that. I turned to read her face myself for the first time in more than a month. It was a sharp relief to allow myself this, like a gasp of our long-submerged human lungs. Her eyes were closed, and her hands pressed against the sides of her face. Her shoulders curved inward defensively. She shook her head ever so slightly, as if she were trying to punch some thought from her mind. Frustrating. Frustrating.**

**Mr Banner's voice pulled her from her reverie, and her eyes slowly opened. She looked at me immediately, perhaps sensing my gaze. She stared up into my eyes with the same bewildered expression that had haunted me for so long. I didn't feel the remorse of the guilt or the rage in that second. I knew they would come again, and come soon, but for this one moment I ride a strange, jittery high. As if I had triumphed, rather than lost. **

"You always knew how to confuse me even when all I wanted was for you to kiss me."

"You…wait…what?"

"The electric current that runs between us, I felt it too, and even then when you were ignoring me, I felt it, I yearned to reach out and touch you but once again I feared rejection."

"You truly are amazing."

"You may have mentioned that quite a few times."

"And I'll keep saying it. Because it's true."

"I love you."

"You are my life now."

**She didn't look away, though I stared with inappropriate intensity, trying vainly to read her thoughts though her liquid brown eyes. They were full of questions, rather than answers. I could see the reflection of my own eyes, and I saw that they were black with thirst. It had been nearly two weeks since my last hunting trip; this was not the safest day for my will to crumble. But the blackness did not seem to frighten her. She still did not look away, and a soft, devastatingly appealing pink began to colour her skin. **_**What was she thinking now? **_**I almost asked the question aloud, but at that moment Mr Banner called my name. I picked the correct answer of out his head while I glanced briefly in his direction. I sucked in a quick breath. "The Krebs Cycle." **

"Cheat."

"It's not my fault that I can hear the answer."

"I know."

"What's on your mind, love?"

"It's just, this book looks really short and it's on paper, the others are bound, that means that we haven't got much longer to go before we get to the books in my view and I'm scared."

"What are you scared of?"

"Your reactions. Some of them you might not like."

"How about this. I promise no matter how much I am effected by it, we'll talk after."

"I think I can live with that."

**Thirst scorched down my throat – tightening my muscles and filling my mouth with venom – and I closed my eyes, trying to concentrate through the desire for her blood that raged inside me. The monster was stronger than before. The monster was rejoicing. He embraced this duel future that gave him an even, fifty-fifty chance at what he craved so viciously. The third, shaky future I'd trued to construct through willpower alone had crumbled – destroyed by common jealousy, of all things – and he was so much closer to his goal. The remorse and the guilt burned with thirst, and if I'd had the ability to produce tears, they would have filled my eyes now.**

"You're thirsty now aren't you?"

"Mm hm."

"After this chapter you're going hunting with your brothers, I'm going to help Alice with the party."

"But…"

"No buts Mr Cullen I am not taking no for an answer."

"Alright. But you have to call me if you need anything."

"I promise."

"That's all I needed to hear."

"Don't go too far though."

"We won't."

"Dude really."

"Just shut up and take the offer Emmett otherwise you might not like what happens when you get back."

"Alright, alright I surrender."

"Good."

"Can we read now?"

"Of course."

**What had I done?**

**Knowing the battle was already lost, there seemed to be no reason to resist what I wanted; I turned to stare at the girl again. She had hidden in her hair, but I could see through a parting in the tresses that her cheeks were deep crimson now. The monster liked that. She did not meet my gaze again, but she twisted a strand of her dark hair nervously between her fingers. Her delicate fingers, her fragile wrist – they were so breakable, looking for all the world like just my breath could snap them.**

**No, no, no. I could not do this. She was too breakable, too good, and too precious to deserve this fate. I couldn't allow my life to collide with hers, to destroy it. But I couldn't stay away from her either. Alice was right about that. The monster inside me hissed with frustration as I wavered, leaning first one way, and then the other.**

"Now I'm thirsty."

"Would you like some juice or blood sweetheart?"

"Both. I want to try normal juice and I know I'll need the blood to settle my stomach anyways."

"I'll get it!"

"Thanks Ali cat."

"You're welcome."

**My brief hour with her passed all too quickly, as I vacillated between the rock and the hard place. The bell rang, and she started collecting her things without looking at me. This disappointed me, but I could hardly expect otherwise. The way I had treated her since the accident was inexcusable.**

"**Bella?" I said, unable to stop myself. My willpower already lay in shreds. **

**She hesitated before looking at me, when she turned, her expression was guarded, and distrustful I reminded myself that she had every right to distrust me. That she should. She waited for me to continue, but I just stared at her, reading her face. I pulled in shallow mouthfuls of air at regular intervals, fighting my thirst.**

"Here are your drinks sweetheart."

"Thank you mom."

"You're welcome dear."

Taking a sip of the orange juice, I grimaced, wanting to throw up instantly. I never noticed before just how much sugar was in these types of drinks. Edward obviously read my thoughts as I'd taken to leaving my shield down as he quickly handed me the glass of blood which I took gratefully gulping it down instantly feeling better. At least one thing came from this experiment, there was no way I would be drinking juice again until after my pregnancy. Suddenly I wondered what would happen afterward, part of me wanted to stay human a little while longer and the other part still desperately wanted to be a vampire. I was destined for this life but our miracle child had changed my views a little.

"Bella, love."

"Later, we'll talk to Carlisle after this chapter."

"Alright."

"**What?" she finally said. "Are you speaking to me again?" **

**There was an edge of resentment to her tone that was, like her anger, endearing. It made me want to smile. I wasn't sure how to answer her question. **_**Was **_**I speaking to her again, in the sense that she meant? No. Not if I could help it. I would try to help it.**

"**No not really," I told her.**

**She closed her eyes, which frustrated me. It cut off my best avenue of access to her feelings. She took a long, slow breath without opening her eyes. Her jaw was locked. Eyes still closed, she spoke. Surely this was not a normal human way to converse. Why did she do it?**

"Because you confused me."

"Don't worry, love. I confused myself."

"Do you, have the way you felt written down in your words."

"I do."

"Do you think I could look at that."

"Of course I will let you read it."

"Thank you."

"No thanks needed."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

"**Then what do you want, Edward?"**

"Dude you're in trouble."

"Shut it Emmett."

"Or else what lil sis?"

"Or else you will be sleeping on the couch for the rest of eternity."

"Alright, alright I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven, this time but remember this one day soon I'll be stronger than you."

**The sound of my name on her lips did strange things to my body. If I'd had a heartbeat, it would have quickened. But how to answer her? With the truth, I decided. I would be as truthful as I could with her front now on. I didn't want to deserve her distrust, even if earning her trust was impossible.**

"Oh Edward."

"Ssh, everything worked out for the best."

"I know I just wish we didn't have to suffer so much in order to get here."

"Everything happens for a reason. We are strong enough to get through anything."

"And lord knows we've been through a lot."

"And yet we're still here."

"Forever."

"Agreed."

"**I'm sorry," I told her. That was truer than she would ever know. Unfortunately, I could only safely apologise for the trivial. "I'm being very rude, I know. But it's better this way, really."**

**I would be better for her if I could keep it up, continue to be rude. Could I? Her eyes opened, their expression still wary.**

"**I don't know what you mean."**

**I tried to get as much of a warning through to her as was allowed. "It's better if we're not friends." Surely she could sense that much. She was a bright girl. "Trust me." **

"I thought that you meant you saw how infatuated with you I was and you didn't feel the same way."

"Oh Bella, what a pair we are. Alice was right, if we'd just spoken we could have been happier soon."

"It's easy to say that now, but I wouldn't have wanted you to hurt. My scent, it will always cause you pain."

"Maybe, but it's manageable, so much so that I barely register it now."

"Not even when you're thirsty."

"No, living 24 hours thinking you were dead cured me of that."

"Maybe, um, maybe I should ask Carlisle to draw some blood and it can help Jasper become immune _I want to stay human a little longer after the baby is born._

"Alright we can sort that out."

"Thank you."

"No thanks needed, as long as you're happy I'm happy."

**Her eyes tightened, and I remembered that I had said those words to her before – just before breaking a promise. I winced when she clenched her teeth together – she clearly remembered too. **

"**It's too bad you didn't figure that out earlier," she said angrily. "You could have saved yourself all this regret."**

**I stared at her in shock. What did she know of my regrets?**

"**Regret? Regret for what?" I demanded. **

"**For not just letting that stupid van squish me!" she snapped.**

"Oooh burn."

"Emmett shut the fuck up."

"Bella language."

"Sorry mom, he's just getting on my nerves."

"Let me deal with him. You just focus on yourself, Edward and my grandbaby."

"I will."

"Emmett Dale McCarthy Cullen you leave your brother and sister alone."

"Yes, mom."

**I froze, stunned. How could she be thinking **_**that? **_**Saving her life was the one acceptable thing I'd done since I met her. The one thing that I was not ashamed of. The one and only thing that made me glad I existed at all. I'd been fighting to keep her alive since the first moment I'd caught her scent. How could she think this of me? How fare she question any one good deed in all this mess?**

Tears rolled down my face as I buried my head into Edward's bare chest. I always knew my snappy statement had upset him, I could see it written all over his face as I'd gotten up to storm out of the room before dropping my books in the doorway accidently. I'd hurt him, my one true love. I was selfish. I should have seen he was trying to get to know me in the only way he knew how to. Taking deep breaths I tried to control the sobs which now wracked through my body, I relaxed slightly as I felt Edward's arms around my waist rubbing my small baby bump lightly.

"Ssh baby please talk to me. What's upset you?"

"I'm s-sorry. I shouldn't have spoken to you that way."

"It doesn't matter now. It's in the past remember."

"I k-know."

"Then no more regrets alright. Can you promise me that?"

"Mm, but you have to as well."

"Alright."

"Boy by the end of these books you two are going to be an emotional wreck."

"Emmett, out now. Until you can behave you're not going to be involved."

"Yes mom."

"**You think I regret saving your life?"**

"**I **_**know **_**you do," she retorted.**

**Her estimation of my intensions left me seething. "You don't know anything." **

**How confusing and incomprehensible the workings of her mind were! She must not think in the same way as other humans at all. That must be the explanation behind her mental silence. She was entirely other. She jerked her face away, gritting her teeth again. Her cheeks were flushed, with anger this time. She slammed her books together in a pile, yanked them up into her arms, and marched toward the door without meeting my stare. Even irritated as I was, it was impossible not to find her anger a bit entertaining. She walked stiffly, without looking where she was going and her food caught on the lip of the doorway. She stumbled, and her things all crashed to the ground. Instead of bending to get them, she stood rigidly straight, not even looking down, as if she were not sure the books were worth retrieving.**

"If anyone laughs then Ali cat I'll burn yours and Rose's closets, I'll repaint Emmett's car and as for Jazz, I'm sure Jake would love that motorbike Edward bought you."

"Alright, alright no laughing."

"Good. Of course I think it will be even worse when in my words."

"I can't wait to hear the other books."

"Of course you can't, they won't be your thoughts."

"How are you feeling sweetheart?"

"A little queasy but better than before."

"That's good to know."

"Let's get on with the book. Sooner we read, quicker Alice can invite everyone to the party."

"Yay!"

"I'm going to regret this party aren't I?"

"I wouldn't go that far."

"Esme please continue reading."

**I managed not to laugh. No one was here to watch me, I flitted to her side, and had her books put in order before she looked down. She bent halfway, saw me, and then froze. I handed her books back to her, making sure that my icy skin never touched hers.**

"**Thank you," she said in a cold, severe voice.**

**Her tone brought back my irritation.**

"**You're welcome," I said just as coldly.**

**She wrenched herself upright and stomped away to her next class. I watched until I could no longer see her angry figure. Spanish assed in a blur. Mrs Goff never questioned my abstraction – she knew my Spanish was superior to hers, and she gave me a great deal of latitude – leaving me free to think. So I couldn't ignore the girl. That much was obvious. But did it mean I had no choice but to destroy her? That could **_**not **_**be the only available future. There had to be some other choice, some delicate balance. I tried to think of a way…**

"Did you ever manage to come up with an answer?"

"I think you already know that answer sweetheart. The day we found out you were pregnant, I realised there was no holding back, I'd never taken anything away from you."

"Knowing that you don't have any regrets anymore makes everything a lot easier."

"I know."

"MOM! Can I come back in now."

"Are you going to behave?"

"I will I promise."

"Alright then."

Laughing quietly it wasn't long before Emmett was once again sitting next to Rose eagerly waiting for Esme to continue reading. Sometimes I really thought that someone had dropped him on his head before the change took place, I could feel Edward laughing underneath me no doubt hearing everything that was running through my head at this precise moment. Snuggling further into Edward's chest I relaxed the minute my head touched his bare chest. I could definitely get used to this.

**I didn't pay much attention to Emmett until the hour was nearly up. He was curious – Emmett was not overly intuitive about the shades in other's moods, but he could see the obvious change in me. He wondered what had happened to remove the unrelenting glower from my face. He struggled to define the change, and finally decided that I looked **_**hopeful**_**. Hopeful? Is that what it looked like from the outside? I pondered the idea of hope as we walked to the Volvo, wondering what exactly I should be hoping **_**for**_**. **

**But I didn't have long to ponder. Sensitive as I always was to thoughts about the girl, the sound of Bella's name in the heads of…of my rivals. I suppose I had to admit, caught my attention. Eric and Tyler, having heard – with much satisfaction – of Mike's failure, were preparing to make their moves.**

"Ugh, stupid, immature, BOYS! I wasn't interested the first day they showed interest in me why the hell did they think I would want to date them?"

"Ssh, love remember this is in the past."

"I know it just annoys me."

"I'm sorry,"

"You were just letting them fall on their faces. I can't be mad at you for that."

"Mm something tells me you're hiding something from me."

"You're just going to have to wait and find out."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

**Eric was already in place, positioned against her truck where she could not avoid him. Tyler's class was being held late to receive an assignment, and he was in a desperate hurry to catch her before she escaped. This I had to see. **

"**Wait for the others here, all right?" I murmured to Emmett.**

**He eyed me suspiciously, but then shrugged and nodded.**

_**Kid's lost his mind, **_**he thought, amused by my odd request.**

**I saw Bella on her way out of the gym, and I waited where she would not see me for her to pass. As she got closer to Eric's ambush, I strode forward, setting my pace so that I would walk by at the right moment. I watched her body stiffen when she caught sight of the boy waiting for her. She froze for a moment, then relaxed and move forward.**

"**Hi Eric," I heard her call in a friendly voice.**

**I was abruptly and unexpectedly anxious. What if this gangly teen with his unhealthy skin was somehow pleasing to her?**

"Not bloody likely."

"Bella language."

"Sorry Mom."

"You're forgiven this time."

**Eric swallowed loudly, his Adam's apple bobbing. "Hi, Bella."**

**She seemed unconscious of his nervousness. **

"**What's up?" she asked, unlocking her truck without looking at his frightened expression.**

"**Uh, I was just wondering…if you would go to the spring dance with me?" His voice broke.**

"What part of girls' choice don't they understand?"

"They're stupid I mean Jess noticed that I was interested in Edward, yet these three idiots had to irritate me because they wouldn't handle the fact that I didn't like them."

"You Bella Cullen are the light of my life."

"You complete me."

**She finally looked up. Was she taken aback, or pleased? Eric couldn't meet her gaze, so I couldn't see her face in his mind. **

"**I thought it was girls' choice." She said, sounding flustered. **

"**Well, yeah," he agreed wretchedly.**

**This pitiable boy did not irritate me as much as Mike Newton did, but I couldn't find it in myself to feel sympathy for his angst until after Bella had answered him in a gentle voice.**

"**Thank you for asking me, but I'm going to Seattle that day."**

**He's already heard this; still, it was a disappointment. **

"**Oh," he mumbled, barely daring to raise his yes to the level of her nose. "Maybe next time." **

"**Sure," she agreed. Then she bit down on her lip, as if she regretted leaving him a loophole. I liked that.**

"Of course you did."

"What's on your mind, love?"

"Where to start? Hearing your thoughts has made me feel so much closer to you, it's just…I was going to ask you to the girls' choice dance, it was something I'd been debating for a while up until you asked me to go to Seattle with you then I chickened out, and now, now I'm regretting not going."

"You really wanted to ask me?"

"I told you I did back then, I was just scared of what you'd say. And Rose intimated me."

"I'm sorry Bells."

"It's okay, and I guess it's not going to be the last time we go to high school, we can always make up for it with another school dance."

"Yay!"

"Not now Alice."

"Aww fine."

**Eric slumped forward and walked away, headed the wrong direction from his car, only thought escape. I passed her in that moment, and heard her sigh of relief. I laughed. She whirled at the sound, but I stared straight ahead, trying to keep my lips from twitching in amusement. Tyler was behind me, almost running in his hurry to catch her before she could drive away. He was bolder and more confident than the other two; had only waited to approach Bella this long because he'd respected Mike's prior claim.**

"And this is why Lauren hates me. I've never been interested in ANY boy before Edward, it wasn't until _after _I had to be around them constantly that I realised just how annoying he is. No one will ever live up to Edward; he is my life, forever."

"Bella, love please calm down. I know what you're thinking, and you're wrong. Jake doesn't hate you."

"I shouldn't still care after what he did, I just can't help it, but I know I have to leave him be, I refuse to put myself in that position again."

"After we read this chapter, we're going back to LaPush to talk to Jake."

"Really?"

"Mm."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

**I wanted him to succeed in catching her for two reasons. If – as I was beginning to suspect – all this attention was annoying to Bella. I wanted to enjoy watching her reaction. But, if it was not-if Tyler's invitation was the one she'd been hopingfor0 then I wanted to know that, too.**

"Seriously Edward, after nearly running me over you really thought I'd want to go out with him. Not bloody likely."

"I told him that but he wouldn't listen."

"I'm sorry, love."

"Mm well you're not going to like what I was thinking around this time. And don't dazzle me into telling you you're just going to have to wait and find out."

"I'll be looking forward to it."

"Mm."

"Felling sick again?"

"A little. It's manageable though."

"Alright tell me if it gets worse and I'll get you some more blood."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

"Awww so sweet."

I couldn't help but blush, turning my head into Edward's chest feeling my cheeks heat up as Esme started reading again.

**I measured Tyler Crowley as a rival, knowing it was wrong to do so. He seemed tediously average and unremarkable to me, but what did I know of Bella's preferences? Maybe she liked average boys…**

"Hell no. I have everything I want and more in you. You are my Prince Charming."

"And you my love are my angel."

"Get a room. We're never going to finish it."

"Alright, alright I'm sorry Esme please continue."

"It's alright sweetheart."

**I winced at that thought. I could never be an average boy. How foolish it was to set myself up as a rival for her affections. How could she ever care for someone who was, by any estimation, a monster? She was too good for a monster. I ought to have let her escape, but my inexcusable curiosity kept me from doing what was right. Again. But what if Tyler missed his chance now only to contact her later when I would have no way of knowing the outcome? I pulled my Volvo out into the narrow lane, blocking her exit.**

"How many times do I have to tell you that you're not a monster?"

"I felt that way for so many years. Back then I was scared. Plus I didn't know how you felt."

"It hurts me when you call yourself that. Because all I see is the man Edward Anthony Masen, who just happened to be a vampire in order for us to meet."

"Well…now you put it like that."

"Promise me you'll never think of yourself this way again."

"I promise."

"Good."

**Emmett and the others were on their way, but he'd described my strange behaviour to them, and they were walking slowly, watching me, trying to decipher what I was doing. I watched the girl in my rear-view mirror. She glowered toward the back of my car without meeting my gaze, looking as if she wished she were driving a tank rather than a rusted Chevy. Tyler hurried to his car and got in line behind her, grateful for my inexplicable behaviour. He waved at her, trying to catch her attention, but she didn't notice. He waited a moment, and then left his car, sauntering to her passenger side window. He tapped on the glass. **

**She jumped, and then stared at him in confusion. After a second, she rolled the window down manually, seeming to have some trouble with it. **

"**I'm sorry, Tyler," she said, her voice irritated. "I'm stuck behind Cullen."**

"Dude you're in trouble."

"How do you figure that one out?"

"She last named you."

"Emmett you do realise this happened two years ago right?"

"Oh yeah."

"Idiot."

**She said my surname in a hard voice- she was still angry with me. **

"**Oh I know," Tyler said, undeterred by her mood. "I just wanted to ask you something while we're trapped here."**

**His grin was cocky. I was gratified by the way she blanched at his obvious intent.**

"**Will you ask me to the Spring Dance? He asked no thought of defeat in his head.**

"**I'm not going to be in town, Tyler," she told him, irritation still plain in her voice. **

"**Yeah, Mike said that."**

"**Then why -?" she started to ask.**

**He shrugged. "I was hoping you were just letting him down easy." **

"Edward, how many people has Alice asked to this party?"

"Pretty much everyone we were in class with."

"Wonderful, morning sickness combined with Mike, Eric and Tyler."

"I'll not leave your side I promise."

"Okay I'll hold you to that."

**Her eyes flashed then cooled. "Sorry, Tyler," she said, not sounding sorry at all. "I really am going to be out of town." **

**He accepted that excuse, his self-assurance untouched. "That's cool. We still have prom."**

"Argh, how did you manage to put up with his thoughts?"

"Easy, my thoughts remained on you. You are my life now."

"I can't live without you. Ever. I tried and it almost killed us both."

"Don't remind me."

"Sorry."

"No need to apologise."

**He strutted back to his car. I was right to have waited for this. The horrified expression on her face was priceless. It told me what I should not desperately need to know – that she had no feelings for any of these human males who wished to court her. Also, her expression was possibly the funniest thing I'd ever seen. My family arrived then, confused by the fact that I was, for a change, rocking with laughter rather than scowling murderously at everything in sight.**

"Stupid shiny Volvo owner."

"What was that, love."

"Nothing."

"Mm hm."

_**What's so funny? **_**Emmett wanted to know.**

**I just shook my head while I also shook with fresh laughter as Bella revved her engine angrily. She looked like she was washing for a tank again.**

"Do you really want to know what I was thinking?"

"Yes please."

"I was wondering how much damage I cause by denting your back bumper."

"BELLA! How could you?"

"I didn't do it. All it would have done was scratched the paintwork and Rose intimated me too much. Forgive me?"

"You're forgiven."

"**Let's go!" Rosalie hissed impatiently. "Stop being an idiot. If you can." **

**Her words didn't annoy me – I was too entertained. But I did as she asked. No one spoke to me on the way home. I continued to chuckle every now and again, thinking of Bella's face. As I turned on to the drive – speeding up now that there were no witnesses – Alice ruined my mood. **

"**So do I get to talk to Bella now?" she asked suddenly, without considering the words first, thus giving me no warning.**

"**No," I snapped.**

"**Not fair! What am I waiting for?"**

"**I haven't decided anything, Alice."**

"**Whatever, Edward."**

**In her head, Bella's two destinies were clear again. **

"**What's the point in getting to know her?" I mumbled, suddenly morose. "If I'm just going to kill her?" **

"You are stronger than you realise baby."

"I know, angel. I wish I'd listened to Alice sooner."

"Me too, but you know what all the obstacles we've been through. They've brought us here. Stronger than ever before."

"How right you are."

"I have my moments."

**Alice hesitated for a second. "You have a point," she admitted.**

**I took the final hairpin turn at ninety males an hour, and then screeched to a stop an inch from the back garage wall.**

"**Enjoy your run," Rosalie said smugly as I threw myself out of the car.**

**But I didn't go running today. Instead I went hunting.**

**The others were scheduled to hunt tomorrow, but I couldn't afford to be thirsty now, I overdid it, drinking more than necessary, glutting myself again – a small grouping of elk and one black bear I was lucky to stumble across this early in the year. I was so full it was uncomfortable. Why couldn't that be enough? Why did her scent have to be so much stronger than anything else? The jittery high swept through me again when I realised I was going to go find the girl. I argued with myself all the way back to Forks, but my less noble side won the argument and I went ahead with my indefensible plan. The monster was relentless but well-fettered. I knew I would keep a safe distance from her. I only wanted to know where she was. I just wanted to see her face.**

"You were really there?"

"What do you mean?"

"I think this is the night I first dreamt of you. I woke up to find you there but I thought it was still half asleep."

"Yes I was there. I think being there helped with my thirst for your blood."

"Well that's a good thing I guess."

"You okay Bella you're looking a little green."

"I think I'm going to be sick."

Sliding off Edward's lap I covered my mouth rushing into the nearest downstairs bathroom, getting there just in time, leaning over the porcelain god I lost my stomach contents resting my hand gently over my swollen belly praying the nauseous feeling would ease off. Resting my head against the wall I stayed on the floor not sure I was able to move. I could seven pairs of eyes on me as I once more found myself leaning over the basin throwing up again leaning my head against Edward's cold chest. Instantly I started to feel better despite the thumping headache I was beginning to get. Before I could register it, Edward was holding out my toothbrush for me. As I brushed my teeth to rid myself of the vile taste, Edward rested his hand against my back rubbing it in soothing motions holding out a cup of ginger ale.

"Thank you."

"Feeling better now?"

"A little, I know you don't like to see me like this but it will go away its normal."

"I know."

"You look like I feel are you still feeling my nausea?"

"Unfortunately yes but it's worth it."

"We should get back in there."

"You sure."

"Mmm."

After Edward flushed the chain I rested my head against his chest curling onto his lap the moment we sat down feeling tired yet eager to hear the rest of this chapter. In the end Edward started to hum my lullaby soothing me enough to concentrate on Esme's voice as she picked up where we had left off.

**It was past midnight and Bella's house was dark and quiet. Her truck was parked against the curb, her father's police cruiser in the driveway. There were no conscious thoughts anywhere in the neighbourhood. I watched the house for a moment from the blackness of the forest that bordered it on the east. The front door would probably be locked – not a problem, except that I didn't to leave a broken door as evidence behind me. I decided to try the upstairs window first. Not many people would installing a lock there.**

"Stalker much."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Humph."

"Oh quit being a baby Emmett."

**I crossed the open yard and scaled the face of the house in half a second. Dangling from the eave above the window by one hand, I looked through the glass, and my breath stopped. It was her room. I could see her in the small bed, her covers on the floor and her sheets twisted around her legs. As I watched, she twitched restlessly and threw one arm over her head. She did not sleep soundly, at least not this night. Did she sense the danger near her?**

"Nope, you were the star figure of my dreams."

"If I could dream of you I would."

"I know baby, I know."

"Mm."

"You like when I call you baby?"

"Very much so."

"Then I shall call you that more often."

"I'll look forward to it."

**I was repulsed by myself as I watched her toss again. How was I any better that some sick peeping tom? I **_**wasn't **_**any better. I was much, much worse. I relaxed my fingertips, about to let myself drop. But first I allowed myself long last her face. It was not peaceful. The little furrow was there between her eyebrows, the corners of her lips turned down. Her lips trembled, and then parted.**

"**Okay, Mom," she muttered. **

**Bella talked in her sleep.**

"Oh no."

"What's the matter, love?"

"It was one thing for you to hear this but everyone else. Not to mention him."

"Who's him?"

Emmett, he's going to poke fun of me."

"I'd like to see him try."

"Promise."

"I promise."

"Okay."

**Curiosity flared, overpowering self-disgust. The lure of those unprotected unconsciously spoken thoughts was impossibly tempting. I tried the window, and it wasn't locked, though it stuck due to long disuse. I slid it slowly aside, cringing at each faint groan of the metal frame. I would have to find some oil for next time… Next time? I shook my head, disgusted again.**

"Never be ashamed for wanting to see me."

"Even then when you didn't know?"

"Yes even then. I told you this at the time."

"I know, but I meant every word."

"I love you Mrs Cullen."

"Love you too."

**I eased myself silently through the half-opened window. Her room was small – disorganised but not unclean. There were books puled the floor beside her bed, their spines facing away from me, and CDs scattered by her inexpensive CD Player – the one on top was just a clear jewel case. Stacks of papers surrounded a computer that looked like it belonged in a museum dedicated to obsolete technologies. Shoes dotted the wooden floor. I wanted very much to go and read the titles of her books and CDs but I'd promised myself that I would keep my distance instead; I went to sit in the old rocking chair in the corner of the room.**

"I wish we could bring that here so I could nurse our baby."

"We could ask Charlie."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Yay."

**Had I really once thought her average looking? I thought of that first day and my disgust for the boys who were so immediately intrigued with her. But when I remembered her face in their minds now, I could not understand why I not found her beautiful immediately. It seemed an obvious thing. Right now – with her dark hair tangled and wild around her pale face, wearing a threadbare t-shirt full of holes with tatty sweatpants, her features relaxed in unconscious, her full lips slightly parted – she took my breath away. Or would have, I thought wryly, if I were breathing. **

"Bella, what's wrong?"

"Mm, oh nothing. Just thinking about my mom."

"She's happy; she and Phil are going to have another baby."

"What? Why didn't you tell me sooner Alice?"

"Where would be the fun in that?"

"One day I'll be stronger than you."

"I surrender."

"Good."

"Love, if there something else bothering you?"

"This is when you started thinking of leaving me?"

"Yes, I'm sorry."

"You were doing it to protect me, it's over now."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

**She didn't speak again. Perhaps her dream had ended. I stared at her face and tried to think of some way to make the future bearable. Hurting her was not bearable. Did that mean my only choice was to try and leave again? The others could not argue with me now. My absence would not put anyone in danger. There would be no suspicion, nothing to link anyone's thoughts back to the accident. I wavered as I had this afternoon, and nothing seemed possible. I could not hope to rival the human boys, whether these specific boys appealed to her or not. I was a monster. How could she see me as anything else? If she knew the truth about me, it would frighten and repulse her. Like the intended victim in a horror movie, she would run away, shrieking in terror. I remembered her first day in biology…and knew that this was exactly the right reaction for her to have.**

"Oww, Rose why did you hit me."

"Bella asked me to."

"Why?"

"You know why, calling yourself a monster, do you honestly think Esme is a monster, or Carlisle. What about Alice and her bubbly personality seriously Edward sometimes I wonder whether you think before you assume things."

"I'm sorry, love."

"You're forgiven. I know this is the past it just kills me to hear you say this."

"I must have a soul. Because you love me."

"Exactly."

**It was foolishness to imagine that if I had been the one to ask her to the silly dance, she would have cancelled her hastily made plans and agreed to go with me. I was not the one she was designed to say yes to. It was someone else, someone human and worm. And I could not let myself – someday, when that yes came – hunt down and kill him, because she deserved him, whoever he was. She deserved happiness and love with whomever she chose.**

"I hate myself for what I put you through with Jake."

"Ssh, love. He manipulated you."

"It still doesn't make it right. And now he's hurting. But I know who I couldn't live without; I don't regret being with you Edward and I never will."

"I know sweetheart, I know."

**I owed it to her to do the right thing now; I could no longer pretend that I was only **_**in danger **_**of loving this girl. After all, it really didn't matter if I left, because Bella could never see me the way I wished she would. Never see me as someone worthy of love. Never. Could a dead, frozen heart break? It felt like mind would.**

"**Edward," Bella said.**

**I froze, staring at her unopened eyes. Had she woken, caught me here? She **_**looked **_**asleep, yet her voice had been so clear… She sighed a quiet sigh, and then moved restlessly again, rolling to her side – still fast asleep and dreaming. **

"**Edward," she mumbled softly. **

**She was dreaming of me. Could a dead, frozen heart beat again? It felt like mine was about to.**

"**Stay," she sighed. "Don't go. Please…don't go."**

**She was dreaming of me, and it wasn't even a nightmare. She wanted me to stay with her, there in her dream. I struggled to find words to name the feelings that flooded through me, but I had no words strong enough to hold him. For a long moment, I frowned in them. **

"Was this when you decided to talk to me?"

"Mm, I wanted to hear more, you fascinated me. You still do."

"I thought you were too out of my league."

"You never did see yourself clearly."

"I think I'm getting better at that. Especially now, with our little one nestled under my heart."

"Does that mean you'll let me buy you stuff?"

"Within reason yes."

**When I surfaced, I was not the same man I had been. My life was unending, unchanging midnight. It must, by necessity, always be midnight for me. So how was it possible that the sun was rising now, in the middle of my midnight? At the time that I had become a vampire, trading my soul and my mortality for immortality in the searing pain of transformation. I had truly been frozen. My body had turned into something more like rock than flesh, enduring and unchanging. My **_**self, **_**also, had frozen as it was – my personality, my likes and dislikes, my moods and my desires, all were fixed in place. It was the same for the rest of them. We were all frozen. Living stone. When change came for one of us it was a rare and permanent thing. I had seen it happen with Carlisle, and then a decade later with Rosalie. Love had changed them in an eternal way, a way that never faded. More than eighty years had passed since Carlisle had found Esme, and yet he still looked at her with the incredulous eyes of first love. It would always be that way for them. It would always be that way for me, too. I would always love this fragile human girl, for the rest of my limitless existence.**

Cool hands wiped away the falling tears which I didn't even realise had spilled over. How I wished Edward had explained all of this to me sooner, I might not have believed his lies so easily that fall day in September. As much as Edward was leaving to protect me, I should have realised he was lying to me. Taking a deep breath I rested my head against his bare chest breathing in his scent as I slowly started to calm down as I inhaled his sweet scent.

"Bella sweetheart what made you cry?"

"If I knew this from the start, I wouldn't have believed the lie."

"Oh Bella."

"I'm…I'm sorry."

"No need my love."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

**I gazed at her unconscious face, feeling this love for her settle into every portion of my stone body. She slept more peacefully now, a smile on her lips. Always watching her I began to plot. I loved her, and so I would try and be strong enough to leave her. I knew I wasn't that strong now. I would work on that one. But perhaps I was strong enough to circumvent the future in another way. Alice had seen only two futures for Bella, and now I understood them both.**

"Stupid vampire. We are two halves of one whole. Severing one hurts us both."

"That it does. You're so forgiving."

"Mm."

"All done with the invitations, the party will be tomorrow."

"That's great Ali cat now we can finish the rest of this chapter and you can keep Emmett out of trouble."

"Hey!"

"Am I wrong?"

"Guess not."

**Loving her would not keep me from killing her, if I let myself make mistakes. Yet I could not feel the monster now, could not find him anywhere in me. Perhaps love had silenced him forever. If I killed her now, it would not be intentional, only a horrible accident I would have to be inordinately careful. I would never, ever be able to let my guard down. I would have to control my every breath. I would always have to keep a cautious distance. I would never make a mistake.**

"How did that work out for you Mr Cullen?"

"Well Mrs Cullen, it seems I fell for the princess."

"You should never have bet against Alice."

"You're meant to be on my side."

"Mm hm."

**I finally understood that second future. I'd been baffled by that vision – what could possibly happen to result in Bella becoming a prisoner to this immortal half-life?**

"Half life? Really Edward, sometimes I really wish I was strong enough to cause you pain."

"What did I do now?"

"You don't live half-lives. You're the very best part of my life and your soul is beautiful."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

**Now – devastated by the longing for the girl – I could understand how I might, in unforgivable selfishness, ask my father for that favour. Ask him to take away her life and her soul so that I could keep her forever. She deserved better.**

"Humph. I have better. Even if you weren't a vampire you'd be my soul mate and it's about time you realised that."

"Bella, love I have. Remember this was years ago."

"I'm sorry; I guess these stupid pregnancy hormones have kicked in."

"I understand."

**But I saw one more future, one thin wire that I might be able to walk if I could keep my balance. Could I do it? Be with her and leave her human?"**

"Never bet against Alice, she always wins. But I do want to talk to you about the whole staying human thing."

"Oh?"

"Well I was thinking 18 or 19 there's not really much of a difference and I'd very much like to have a second child with you if that's possible."

"Really?"

"Yes really."

"Carlisle would this be possible?"

"I don't see why not,"

"Do you think we can put the Volturi off maybe tell them we intend to go to college."

"I'll take care of it."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

**Deliberately, I took a deep breath, and then another, letting her scent rip through me like wildfire. The room was thick with her perfume; her fragrance was layered on every surface. My head swam, but I fought the spinning. I would have to get used to this, if I were going to attempt any kind of relationship with her. I took another deep burning breath. I watched her sleeping until the sun rose behind the eastern clouds, plotting and breathing. **

"You did all that for me? Put yourself in pain."

"You're worth it, love. I'd do it all over again if I had to."

"You truly are amazing."

"So are you. How are you feeling?"

"A little hungry but still nauseous."

"How about some crackers sweetheart."

"Sounds good."

**I got home just after the others had left for school. I changed quickly, avoiding Esme's questioning eyes. She saw the feverish light in my face, and she felt both worry and relief. My long melancholy had pained her, and she was glad it seemed to be over. I ran to school, arriving a few seconds after my siblings did. They did not turn, though Alice at least must have known that I stood here in the thick woods that bordered the pavement. I waited until no one was looking, and then I strolled casually from between the trees into the lot full of parked cars. **

"I'm starting to think I should have just walked over to your table and introduced myself; it would have saved us all the pain."

"I had mentioned that to him when we were alone but your husband doesn't play fair."

"Well no offense Ali cat but you can be a little full on at times."

"Alright, alright I know. I'll try and be less full on from now on."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

**I heard Bella's truck rumbling around the corner, and I paused behind a Suburban where I could watch without being seen. She drove into the lot, glaring at my Volvo for a long moment before she parked in one of the most distant spaces, a frown on her face. It was strange to remember that she was probably still angry with me, and with good reason. I wanted to laugh at myself – or kick myself. All my plotting and planning was entirely moot if she didn't care for me too wasn't it? Her dream could have been about something completely random. I was just an arrogant fool.**

"No you were experiencing first love. And sometimes that makes your decisions a little screwed up."

"How did you get so wise?"

"I'm an old soul remember."

"Aah yes, born thirty five."

"Yup that's me."

"What are you two going on about?"

"Wait and see."

"Fine. Party poopers."

"Oh well you'll live."

**Well, it was so much the better for her if she didn't care for me. That wouldn't stop me from pursuing her, but I would give her fair warning as I pursued. I owed her that. I walked slowly, wondering how best to approach her. She made it easy. Her truck key slipped through her fingers in the cold water. I leaned back against her truck as she started and then straightened up. **

"**How do you **_**do **_**that?" she demanded.**

**Yes; she was still angry. **

**I offered her the key. "Do what?"**

**She held her hand out, and I dropped the key into her palm. I took a deep breath, pulling in her scent. **

"**Appear out of thin air," she clarified.**

"**Bella it's not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant."**

I snorted. "Yeah right. When have you known me to be that?"

"Never, but you know what?"

"What?"

"It's one of the many things I love about you."

"Aww."

"Whipped."

"I'll say it again, and you two aren't."

"Okay I see your point."

"You're just saying that because you're scared of Rose."

"Maybe I am, maybe I'm not."

"Good luck with that one Emm."

"Rosie baby I…"

"Save it Emmett."

"Thanks dude."

"Not my fault you dripped yourself in it."

**The words were wry, almost a joke. Was there anything she didn't see? Did she hear how my voice wrapped around her name like a caress? She glared at me, not appreciating my humour. Her heartbeat sped – from anger? From fear? After a moment, she looked down.**

"**Why the traffic jam last night?" she asked without meeting my eyes. "I thought you were supposed to be pretending I don't exist, not irritating me to death." **

**Still very angry. It was going to take some effort to make things right with her. I remembered my resolve to be truthful with her…**

"**That was for Tyler's sake not mine. I had to give him his chance." And then I laughed. I couldn't help it, thinking of her expression yesterday. **

"**You –" she gasped, and then broke off, appearing to be too furious to finish. There it was – that same expression. I choked down another laugh. She was mad enough already. **

"I'm sorry, I was just frustrated trying to work out your moods."

"I understand, if the roles were reversed I probably would have felt the same way."

"I feel like I know you better now."

"Hearing your thoughts has done that for me."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

"**And I'm not pretending you don't exist," I finished. It was right to keep this casual, teasing. She would not understand if I let her see how I really felt. I would frighten her. I had to keep my feelings in check, keep things light…**

"**So you **_**are **_**trying to irritate me to death? Since Tyler's van didn't do the job?" **

**A quick flash of anger pulsed through me. Could she honestly believe that? It was irrational for me to be so affronted – she didn't know of the transformation that had happened in the night. But I was angry all the same. **

"**Bella, you are utterly absurd," I snapped. **

**Her face flushed, and she turned her back on me. She began to walk away. Remorse. I had no right to my anger.**

"**Wait," I pleaded. **

**She did not stop, so I followed after her.**

"**I'm sorry, that was rude. I'm not saying it isn't true, – it was absurd to imagine that I wanted her harmed in any way – "but it was ride to say it, anyways." **

"**Why won't you leave me alone?"**

_**Believe me; **_**I wanted to say **_**I've tried. Oh and also, I'm wretchedly in love with you.**_

**Keep it light.**

"**I wanted to ask you something, but you side-tracked me." A course of action had just occurred to me, and I laughed. **

"No way, you actually asked her to the Girls' Choice Dance?"

"Not quite."

"Then what?"

"You'll see."

"So not cool."

"You'll live."

_I'd really like it if we took that Seattle trip._

"We will soon I promise."

"What'd I miss?"

"None of your business."

"Moving on, I'll read now."

"Before you do, I'd like some eggs."

"I'll do it."

"Thank you Rose."

"You're welcome."

"**Do you have a multiple personality disorder?" she asked.**

**It must seem that way. My mood was erratic, so many new emotions coursing through me. **

"**You're doing it again," I pointed out.**

**She sighed. "Fine then. What do you want to ask?"**

"**I was wondering if, a week from Saturday…" I watched the shock cross her face, and chocked back another laugh. "You know, the day of the spring dance –"**

**She cut me off, finally returning her eyes to mind. "Are you trying to be **_**funny**_**?" **

**Yes.** **"Will you let me finish?" **

**She waited in silence, her teeth pressing into her soft lower lip. That sight distracted me for a sound. Strange, unfamiliar reactions stirred deep in my forgotten human core. I tried to shake them off so I could play my role. **

"You really were at war with yourself weren't you?"

"Mm hm. I was driving Jasper crazy."

"I bet that wasn't very much fun."

"Not really."

"Sorry."

"Not your fault baby sister."

"Thanks."

"Here you go Bella."

"Thank you Rose."

"You're welcome."

Taking the plate from Rosalie I smiled suddenly ravenous as my stomach growled. Blushing bright red I picked up the fork digging into the plateful of eggs and bacon humming with pleasure."

"This is wonderful."

"I'm glad you like it."

"Mm."

"**I heard you say that you were going to Seattle that day, and I was wondering if you wanted a ride?" I offered. I'd realised that, better than just questioning her about her plans, I might **_**share **_**them.**

**She stared at me blankly. "What?"**

"**So you want a ride to Seattle?" Alone in a car with her – my throat burned at the thought. I took a deep breath. **_**Get used to it. **_

"**With who?" she asked her eyes wide and bewildered again.**

"**Myself, obviously," I said slowly.**

"**Why?"**

**Was it really such a shock that I would want her company? She must have applied the worst possible meaning to my past behaviour.**

"**Well," I said casually as possible. "I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks, and, to be honest, I'm not sure if your truck can make it." It seemed safer to tease her than to allow myself to be serious.**

"**My truck works just fine, thank you very much for your concern," she said in the same surprised voice. She started walking again. I kept pace with her. She hadn't really said no, so I pressed that advantage. Would she say no? What would I do if she did? **

"I'd never say no to you baby."

"I know you wouldn't, love."

"Plus you always dazzle me; you'd have gotten your way even if I was which I wasn't."

"So when would you like to go?"

"After the party. We can stay the night there."

"Mm I like that idea."

"Knew you would."

Alright enough with the mushy stuff. Can we read now?"

"Mm hm."

"**But can your truck make it there on one tank of gas?"**

"**I don't see how that is any of your business," she grumbled.**

**That still wasn't a no. And her heart was beating faster again, her breath coming more quickly. **

"**The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business." **

"**Honestly, Edward, I can't keep up with you. I thought you didn't want to be my friend." **

**A thrill shot through me when she spoke my name. How to keep it light and yet be honest at the same time? Well, it was more important to be honest. Especially on this point. **

"**I said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be." **

"**Oh, thanks, now that's **_**all **_**cleared up," she said sarcastically. **

"Honestly to think I taught you children manners."

"Sorry mom. I know I'm being rude."

"Yes, you are. It's a good job that Bella is forgiving by nature."

"I'm thankful for that every single day."

"I love you my Bella."

"I love you too baby."

**She paused, under the edge of the cafeteria's roof, and met my gaze again. Her heartbeats stuttered. Was she afraid? I chose my words carefully. No, I could not have her, but maybe she would be smart enough to leave me, before it's too late.**

"**It would be more…**_**prudent **_**for you not to be my friend." **

**Staring into the melted chocolate depths of her eyes, I lost my hold on **_**light. **_**But I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella." The words burned with much too much fervour. Her breathing stopped and, in the second it took for it to restart, that worried me. How much would I find out? **

"**Will you go to Seattle with me?" I demanded, point blank.**

**She nodded her head drumming loudly.**

_**Yes. **_**She said yes to **_**me**_**. **

**And then my conscious smote me. What would this cost her?**

"**You really should stay away from me," I warned her. Did she hear me? Would she escape the future I was threatening her with? Couldn't I do anything to save her from **_**me?**_

"Nope, my heart beats for you and only you. Those _boys _will never live up to you."

"I'll never get tired of hearing that."

"Had a feeling you'd say that."

"Oh you did, huh?"

"Mm hm."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

_**Keep it light, **_**I shouted at myself. "I'll see you in class." **

**I had to concentrate to stop myself from running as I fled.**

"That's the end of the chapter."

"Alright everyone let's get this place ready for the party."

"Alice calm down."

"Silly Bella you should know me better than that."

"Fine, fine we'll get ready."

"Good."

Taking a deep breath I slid from Edward's lap once more taking my dinner plates into the kitchen just as Esme entered taking it away from me. It still felt strange having someone do the daily chores I was so used to, yet at the same time it felt nice to be taken care of for once instead of being the one looking after everyone else. As cool arms wrapped around my waist I hummed in pleasure as he led me toward our bedroom on the third floor helping me into the room. As I looked around I groaned at the outfit Alice had laid out for me, yet I had promised not to complain at the things she bought me so placing a smile on my face I picked up the dress moving into the walk in closet. This party should be interesting to say the least. And despite my nerves I was looking forward to it.


	9. House Party Cullen Style

**Title:** Receiving The Books – The Cullens Read Midnight Sun

**Author:** Bella Katelyn

**Rating:** M

**Summary:** On their arrival home from their honeymoon, Bella and Edward find out that five books have been delivered to the Cullen house. Four from the past and one of the future. Follow my story as they sit down to read. How will Bella react when she hears Edward's thoughts for the first time? How will Edward react when he realises Bella's feelings for him mirrored his own?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to author Stephanie Meyer, and are brought to the fandom by Summit Entertainment. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours. With that said I hope you enjoy this story as much as I'm going to enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter Nine **

**House Party Cullen Style **

**BPOV**

Knowing exactly how Alice was whenever we disobeyed her, Edward and I decided it was best if we didn't cross her until after the party was over, after all she had already done so much for us since we'd revealed my surprise pregnancy. Once I had showered and dressed, I moved slowly back into the bedroom for some reason feeling shy. The dress Alice had chosen for me made my baby bump more visible and despite my admission in front of Jessica and Mike, I was still worried about how the rest of old class mates would react, the only ones I knew who wouldn't judge me was Angela and Ben. Edward obviously hearing my thoughts came up behind me wrapping his arms around my waist rubbing my belly gently.

"Don't worry my Bella; everyone will be happy for us."

"Even Lauren Mallory."

"The jury is still out on that one."

"I doubt she'll ever change."

"You look stunning, love."

"Thank you."

"You're very welcome, my love."

"We should get back down there otherwise Alice will send Emmett up."

"Good point. Come on, love."

Resting my head against Edward's chest I couldn't stop myself from caressing my stomach lightly. As much as I hated being the centre of attention, I had to admit I was looking forward to revealing our news to our friends. Most of them seemed to have grown up and put the high school drama behind them. I decided to try and talk to Jessica again; I knew we might never be as close as Angela and I were but if she truly had stopped drooling over my husband then I would try and work on our broken friendship. By the time we entered the living room it was totally unrecognisable, the couches and coffee table were pushed back against the walls and a dance floor had been positioned into the open space. Glancing over at Alice, I smiled seeing the twinkle in her eye. I knew then that this was the right decision; maybe it would make up for the disastrous birthday party. Before I had a chance to freak out, the doorbell went, once again the lure of the Cullen mansion had won out as our friends started arriving.

"Well it appears they didn't need much persuading."

"Look on the bright side; at least we aren't worrying about revengeful vampires this time."

"Nope, now all we have to battle against is morning sickness."

"If you start to feel unwell again we can call it a night."

"I'll be alright."

"Love you."

"I love you too."

Taking a deep breath out, I prepared myself for the rest of the night, no matter what anyone said tonight, no one would take away the blissful happiness. Looking into Edward's eyes I saw all the love and happiness that I was feeling, long gone was the fear which had crippled him for so long. Music was playing softly in the background as we approached the DJ deck, I had no idea where they'd managed to find one of them at such short notice, yet something told me I didn't want to know. Leaning against Edward's shoulder I looked around the room at our friends, my eyes meeting Angela's. I knew she could tell there was something different about me. Out of everyone we had invited she and Ben were the ones I was the most excited to tell. As Edward took the mic out of Alice's hands I tried in vain to stifle the giggle at her face.

"Don't worry Ali cat, you'll get a nice gift for all your hard work. I promise."

"Yay. Carry on Edward."

"Good evening everyone, I'm sure you're wondering why we've invited you all here at such a late hour, especially with college just around the corner. As you know Alice is always eager to throw a party, and as this will be the final time we will all be together Bella and I thought this could be a celebration."

"What kind of celebration?"

"Well you see Tyler, Lauren. Whilst we were on our honeymoon my beautiful wife and I found out we are expecting our first baby."

"Wow, congratulations."

"Thank you. Alright I'll stop hogging the mic now, Emmett will be your DJ for the night. Food is on the kitchen island if you get hungry."

Laying my hand over my stomach, I suddenly felt the craving for eggs again. Looking into Edward's eyes I smiled blushing, of all the food which had been set out there wasn't any that took my fancy. Noticing the silent conversation going on between Edward and Alice, followed by the speed (human speed of course) she moved into the kitchen, I knew they had been talking about me. Before Edward could lead me onto the dance floor, Angela, Ben, Mike and Jessica came over to us. I was a little apprehensive at first given the last meeting with Jessica and Mike.

"Congratulations Bella. I knew from the start you and Edward would end up together."

"Thank you, Angela, it's actually a miracle baby. Edward had an accident when he was younger and was informed he wouldn't be able to father a child."

"You guys will be wonderful parents."

"I hope so."

"You will."

"Um…Bella about the other day. I'm sorry. For everything, I was jealous of how much Edward loves you, until Jasper called me out on it I didn't really put all the pieces together. After you left, Mike and I had a long conversation and we realised what we were doing. I hope we can still keep in contact once we are all in college."

"Of course."

"I love this song. See you later Bella."

"Have fun."

I couldn't stop the smile from appearing on my face, I'd always hoped Jessica and I could come to an understanding, I just didn't expect it to happen once she found out that I was pregnant. Suddenly I realised just how much I'd missed her as a few stray tears fell down my cheeks. Cool fingers wiped them away as Alice came back into the living room handing me my food, with Edward holding the plate for me, I was able to eat without needing to sit down the last thing I wanted was to be stuck in the corner of the room while everyone around me had fun. I'd miss Forks when it was time to leave, to think this small town had once been purgatory for me, now it was home. As I looked around the room, I noticed the food and drink was being demolished. Something which was a very good thing because although I loved Esme's cooking, the smell was turning my stomach slightly. Just as I relaxed into Edward's embrace Lauren approached us.

"How come you're eating different from us? The food not good enough."

"Oh no I love Esme's cooking. You wouldn't understand why I'm not eating it."

"Enlighten me."

"Well you see when you're pregnant certain foods make you feel sick. Sugary foods and drinks are the one thing that I can't handle right now."

"Oh."

"Lauren, I'd like to ask you something you know since High School is over and all."

"Of course."

"Why do you hate me so much. What did I do to you? Other than fall in love with Edward."

"You had Tyler falling all over you when you first arrived here. You knew I liked him."

"Lauren, I never liked Tyler that way, from the first day I looked into Edward's eyes I was in love with him. No one else. Tyler just assumed that I was interested in him. Ever since that stupid van incident, Edward took me to prom and he turned up on Charlie's doorstep. You saw what I was like when Edward was gone. Do you really think I'd been that way if I wasn't in love with only him."

"Well, no."

"I was never competition, you need to let it go."

"I'm sorry."

"It's in the past. Just remember to ask next time before assuming things, it will save a lot of people from being hurt."

"Well, congratulations."

"Thank you."

As Lauren walked off I stood there dumbfounded, I had no idea where I'd gotten the courage to ask Lauren why she had tormented me whilst we were at Forks High, I definitely wasn't expecting her to be so understanding, Maybe there was hope for her yet. Just as I'd decided to put my empty plate in the kitchen, Alice whipped it out of Edward's hands for us. Sometimes having a psychic was a wonderful thing. With our baby moving inside me, Edward led me toward the dance floor allowing me to once again stand on his feet as my lullaby echoed around the room. Everyone around us stopped dancing, I wasn't sure if it was because they were intimidated by my husband or they were trying to figure out who was playing. Leaning my head against Edward's shoulder I closed my eyes getting lost in the music, smiling as his arms came to rest around my waist his stomach resting against my swollen one. Of course it wasn't long before Mike approached us again. He was definitely the exception when it came to people I would miss.

"Wow, I've never heard anything like it. Who's the composer?"

"Well Newton, the composer is me."

"Seriously?"

"Yup, it's the lullaby I wrote for my Bella."

"You've got talent."

"Thank you.

Rubbing my stomach gently I tried to hide the fact the plate of food Mike was holding had started to take an effect on how I was feeling. Taking a deep breath I turned my head slightly burying it into Edward's arm breathing in his unique scent. From the corner of my eye I noticed Alice setting up party games, I didn't doubt this was part of her original plan, Emmett's booming voice sounded over the loud speakers, telling everyone that it was time for party games. Knowing Emmett the way I did, I knew spin the bottle would be involved in some way. Five minutes later the music had been turned down really low almost background music and we were once again settled around the couches. My head was resting against Edward's lap with his hand resting against my stomach. Alice was once again in full host mode.

* * *

**Truth Or Dare**

We'd been playing games for the past five minutes when Emmett as I suspected he would shouted out that it was about time we played truth or dare, this was one of the last games I wanted to play it always ended with someone getting upset. Turning slightly I tried to get comfortable just as Edward rested a pillow underneath my head, making me instantly comfortable. This was the one game I was not looking forward to; lord knows what would be asked. Rubbing my stomach gently I opened my mind to Edward letting him know I was "thirsty" again, without speaking he communicated to Esme my request smiling as she jumped at the chance to do something for her grandbaby. Within minute I was once again sucking my blood instantly feeling better with every sip I took.

"Alright, let's get this show on the road who's starting?"

"Well since it's their party I think Bella or Edward should."

"Bella truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"The day we went to pick dresses out for the Girls' Choice Dance, why was Edward really there? You didn't mention you were meeting him."

"You sure you want to know that Jess it's not a pleasant story."

"I wouldn't have asked otherwise."

"Alright, if you must know, I got lost after going to the bookstore, I ended up near the warehouse buildings, it wasn't until I heard their footsteps that I realised I was being followed, at first I just thought it was a couple of muggers and just my luck I'd left the pepper spray Charlie had given me in my backpack, I was trying to remember how to do a karate move when I saw two more guys coming up ahead of me. That's when I realised I was being herded, just as I was about to knee _Lonnie _where it hurts Edward sped to a stop in front of us ordering me into the car, after that I'm not quite sure what happened."

"I can answer that. Whilst I kept Bella safe, Carlisle and Rosalie found drugged the lowlifes before dropping them off at Seattle police station. I don't like to think about what could have happened if I hadn't gotten there in time."

"Ssh I'm okay. I love you."

"I love you too."

"Wow that's…just wow."

"It's not something we like to think about. After you and Angela left we ate and then he drove me home."

"Is that all you wanted to know?"

"Mm."

Moving closer to Edward, I breathed in his honey, lavender and sunshine scent managing to calm myself down as the events of that night ran through my head. A shiver ran up my spine as I remember the way they spoke to me. Edward instantly sensed my fear running his hands across my stomach, instantly making me relaxed. Emmett took this as his opportunity to zone in on Lauren, I knew each Cullen guy wanted their final revenge on Lauren Mallory for hitting on them over the years, Edward included, and I actually felt slightly sorry for her.

"Emm your turn to ask."

"Lauren truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Now as much as I love what you're wearing tonight, I'm sure there is a much prettier outfit out there for you. I dare you to swap clothes with Mike for the rest of night."

"What? Why?"

"Are you backing out?"

"Of course not. Come on Mike."

"Fine, fine."

Rolling my eyes, I suddenly wished I was able to hear what everyone was thinking, out of everyone I thought Emmett would be the one who gave out the most embarrassing dare. Somehow I felt cheated. As Lauren and Mike left the room to swap clothes, I took this as my opportunity to get my own back on my big brother; after all he'd teased me for two years now payback is a bitch. Looking into Edward's eyes I smirked knowing exactly what I was going to do. Although that particular payback would need to wait until Rose had him well and truly out of the way. Turning to face Emmett I flashed him my biggest smile.

"Emmett truth or dare?"

"Dare obviously. Come on Bells don't you know me at all."

"Mm, alright then, I dare you to drink alcohol for the rest of the night and keep it down for the rest of the night."

"You're on, lil sis."

"Starting now."

As Emmett jumped up to start his dare I gave Rose an apologetic look knowing exactly what would happen once everyone else left, she smiled at me reassuringly knowing how much Emmett's sex jokes had been getting to us recently. Leaning my head against the pillow again I started to feel the now familiar wave of nausea roll through my stomach. Handing the polystyrene cup of blood to Edward sitting up quickly before dashing into the nearest bathroom once again losing the contents of my stomach. The one thing I was grateful for was the fact the nausea eased off quicker than it had previously. Taking a deep breath I stood, flushing the chain before brushing my teeth thoroughly ridding myself of the ghastly taste. Once I felt marginally better, I made my way back into the living room curling up on Edward's lap resting my head against his chest gazing around the room expecting someone to say something nasty, so you can imagine my surprise when it didn't come. As my eyes landed on Mike and Lauren I couldn't help the giggles that left me, instead of the usual skirt and tube top Lauren was now in a shirt, jeans and sweatshirt and Mike looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole as he tried to hide himself from view.

"Alice truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to wear jeans and a t shirt for the rest of the week, no designer labels, that includes if you go shopping at the mall, and don't think you can get passed me just because you've got Jasper next to you, I'll know if you're not. If you break this rule then I'll burn your closet."

"You wouldn't?"

"Try me."

"Fine. I'll do it."

"Alright I think that's enough of this game don't you?"

"But not everyone's had their turn yet."

"I'm sure there are other games we can play."

"Well I have an idea?"

"What is it Bells?"

"Pool Tournament there's a pool table in the garage I'm sure Jasper and Emmett could bring it in."

"I like that idea."

"You my love are a genius."

"Why thank you."

* * *

**Pool Tournament **

**EPOV**

After Bella returned from the bathroom, I knew she wasn't feeling nauseous still, mainly because my own stomach was in knots and for a vampire that was something of impossibility. When she suggested a pool tournament I couldn't have been more proud of her, she'd managed to sway everyone away from continuing to play these childish games and ended up managing to keep Emmett occupied for the rest of the night he wouldn't even flinch as he consumed the alcohol she had dared him to drink. If he hadn't have been testing my patience since the books arrived I'd have felt sorry for him. As Emmett and Jazz placed the table in the middle of the room part of me wanted to take part but the bigger half was content with Bella in my arms. Carlisle took charge.

"I want a clean game, no cheating. If you do then you get disqualified."

"Aww pops that's not fair."

"Fair or not those are the rules."

"Alright, alright."

"Good. Now pair up into teams. Edward are you playing?"

"I'm happy here for now."

"Baby if you want to play you can."

"I'll play later when everyone's gone. Carlisle could Bella and I talk to you please."

"Of course son."

Once Carlisle was sitting opposite us once more, I collected my thoughts as I tried to put everything Bella and I had talked about into words. Taking an unnecessary deep breath I lay my hand against Bella's stomach rubbing it gently as she relaxed into my neck, I could see the concern written in Carlisle's eyes as he tried to piece together exactly what we wanted to talk to him about, especially when we had our "human" friends over. Kissing Bella's forehead I tried to focus on the task at hand, knowing the sooner we discussed this the quicker we could get back to enjoying the party.

"What would you like to talk about?"

"It's nothing bad, really. You see I've been experiencing some of Bella's pregnancy symptoms."

"What kind of symptoms?"

"Well mainly its nausea, whenever Bella's morning sickness appears, I also feel rather sick."

"This is most unusual. Are you feeling sick now?"

"Mm and I've started to get her cravings. We first realised what was going on after our little visit to Newton's store."

"It's very rare that this occurs, unfortunately I can't give you any anti-nausea medication. But I do suggest when Bella is drinking from her cup, you drink also, it could help you the same way it helps her."

"I never thought of that. Thank you."

"Your welcome is there anything else?"

"Bella had a thought while we were reading and I'd like to discuss it with you."

"Go ahead."

"We would like to try for a second child when we're ready. I was wondering if that was possible."

"I don't see why not. We're doing everything we can right now and Bella is healthy."

"So it's viable?"

"I'd say so."

"Thank you."

"CHEAT!"

"Not my fault you're drunk."

As Emmett yelled, Carlisle and Esme, both headed toward the pool tournament, just once I'd love them to act normally around our friends, some were looking at them as if they'd been dropped on their heads when they were born, something I still wondered every day about Emmett, I couldn't hold the laugh in as Emmett cowered in the corner, completely afraid of Esme's wrath, not to mention what Carlisle's punishment would be.

"Emmett Dale McCarthy Cullen, you apologise to your brother now."

"Sorry."

"You're forgiven."

"You're also disqualified, Jasper wins this heat."

"See what you did now."

"Emmett don't make me ask you twice."

"Yes, ma'am."

Two hours later the games were winding down, Emmett was completely plastered and fighting the urge to vomit desperate to not lose the dare especially considering it was his little sister who had set the dare. And if there was one thing about Emmett, he hated losing at anything. Just as I was about to ask Carlisle if we could wrap everything up for the night, Jessica, Mike, Lauren and Tyler announced that they were heading home, leaving only Angela and Ben. Standing up, I wrapped my arms around Bella supporting her as I knew she was now getting really sleepy. The minute we approached them, Angela wrapped her arms around both of us whispering her congratulations to us again before taking Ben's hand making her way down the driveway toward their car. Once everyone was gone and out of earshot, I picked Bella up bridal style carrying her to our bedroom placing her feet on the ground as I got one of my t shirt from the closet helping her undress, before dressing her in my t shirt. Smiling slightly I picked her up, laying her against the soft bed covers before getting into some cotton PJ pants joining her. Today had been an exhausting day, with many surprises, mainly Lauren's acceptance. As I held Bella in my arms I closed my eyes relaxing matching my breathing to hers. Tomorrow was a new day and I was eager to see what else would be in store for us.


	10. Seattle

**Title:** Receiving The Books – The Cullens Read Midnight Sun

**Author:** Bella Katelyn

**Rating:** M

**Summary:** On their arrival home from their honeymoon, Bella and Edward find out that five books have been delivered to the Cullen house. Four from the past and one of the future. Follow my story as they sit down to read. How will Bella react when she hears Edward's thoughts for the first time? How will Edward react when he realises Bella's feelings for him mirrored his own?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to author Stephanie Meyer, and are brought to the fandom by Summit Entertainment. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours. With that said I hope you enjoy this story as much as I'm going to enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

**Seattle**

**BPOV**

When I awoke the morning after our party, I couldn't keep the smile from my face, for once not one person had anything bad to say about my husband. Not only that but for the first time ever I managed to pull a prank on Emmett. Opening my eyes slowly, I automatically gravitated toward Edward, resting my head against his bare chest sighing happily. Looking into Edward's eyes I saw all the love and happiness sparkling in his golden orbs. His hands came to rest on my stomach rubbing it lightly.

"Good morning, love."

"Good morning baby. What time is it?"

"Just after 7am, you can go back to sleep if you'd like."

"Don't think I can. How's Emmett?"

"Like a bear with a sore head."

"How much did he end up drinking?"

"I lost count after you fell asleep. Rose is angry at him."

"Is she mad at me?"

"No, love it was a dare, she's angry at the fact he didn't stop."

"That'll teach him to mess with me."

"Are you hungry?"

"Eggs please."

"One plate of egg coming up."

"Edward?"

"Yes, love."

"Can we take a break from the books today?"

"Of course we can. What would you like to do instead?"

"Baby shopping in Seattle."

"Mm sounds good to me."

"Alone Alice."

"Aww Bella."

I couldn't keep in the giggle as I slid out of bed, stripping out of my clothes along the way as I made my way into the bathroom for my human moment. I know Edward doesn't understand why I won't kiss him before brushing my teeth; he thinks I taste good no matter what. Turning on the shower I stepped inside sighing happily as the water hit my tight muscles, unknotting them instantly. I heard the door open and Edward's figure placing a towel on the basin for me. My entire body was screaming for him to join me in the shower but before I could tell him, he'd left, making his way downstairs. That's when I realised my shield must have closed whilst I slept, imagining a bubble I pushed it back over my mind, once again opening it up to Edward, I'd noticed how much more relaxed he'd been since he'd been able to hear my thoughts, this was the side of Edward I'd always wanted to see. Five minutes later I was dressed in Edward's sweats and Dartmouth sweater much to Alice's annoyance.

"Ali you know I love you right?"

"Of course I do, what's on your mind?"

"Well, I know you want to buy stuff for the baby, but this trip to Seattle is important to me. It needs to just me Edward and me, but in a few days, I promise you can take me shopping. And I promise to wear my maternity dresses just right now I'm comfortable in Edward's clothes alright?"

"Okay. I understand."

"There is one thing you can buy for me online."

"Oh what's that?"

"Bras and panties. The ones we bought are getting a little snug."

"Yay!"

Just as Edward placed my breakfast in front of me, I heard the back door creak open followed by Rosalie's tinkering laugh and Emmett's loud groan as he slouched against the couch. Trying to keep a straight face so I didn't choke on my eggs I kept my eyes on the plate, not wanting to look Rose in the eyes, although I knew she wasn't angry at me, I still felt guilty for the state Emmett was now in."

"Bella, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Emmett is the one that didn't stop."

"I was the one who made the dare."

"Well I thought it was funny."

"You would pixie."

"Hey!"

"Emmett come here I want to say sorry."

Before I could say anymore, Emmett was already standing next to me his huge arms wrapping me up in a hug as he picked me up off the seat, my fork clashing against the plate as he spun me around. Once again I found myself desperately trying to keep my breakfast down. Emmett seemed to realise this for once, placing my gently on my feet, making me a little dizzy. The next thing I knew he raced outside at vampire speed making it outside just in time before retching. Making my way slowly outside I sighed rubbing his back gently as he got sick, my own stomach turning in the process. After what seemed like forever, Emmett righted himself looking me in the eyes.

"I'm sorry big brother."

"No need, lil sis. Rosie's right I'm the one who didn't stop."

"I still feel bad."

"Would it make you feel better if I said I had fun?"

"Maybe. I um…I think hunting might help you feel better."

"That's what Rosie just said. I'm heading out now."

"Bring some back for me. I'd like to try bear blood."

"Anything for you lil sis. Enjoy Seattle."

"We will."

Making my way back inside, I wrapped my arms around Edward's waist as he led me toward the Volvo; helping me into the passenger side where I curled myself up resting my hand against my small baby bump. My thoughts wandered to Jacob as I wondered what he was doing now, I hadn't opened the Jacob drawer since the fight with Victoria and the newborn army. Laying my head back against the headrest noticing that we had already made it to Port Angeles, I found it funny how the speed Edward drove at didn't affect me anymore, I guess I was just used to it now. I was brought out of my thoughts by Edward's hand touching my leg, looking into his golden eyes I smiled slightly.

"We can go and see Jacob if you'd like, I know you miss him."

"I only want to see him if he's accepted my choices. Maybe in a few months from now."

"Alright, we need to speak to Sam again anyways."

"About the books?"

"I think after my thoughts have been read we should invite the wolves down to hear the remaining books."

"I had thought of that, it might help Jake to understand why I can't live without you."

The drive to Seattle usually takes three hours and thirty minutes from Forks, however with Edward's vampire speed and driving at 100mph we managed to make it there in just over twenty minutes. As we pulled into Westfield South centre Mall I couldn't stop the smile from appearing on my face, something that never happened when Alice forced me into the mall in Forks Shopping Mall. Taking a deep breath, I took hold of Edward's hand as he helped me from the car resting my head against Edward's chest as we walked into the mall, my eyes wandering around for the first baby store. Edward chuckled under his breath as he led me toward Baby Gap resting his hand against my stomach.

"See anything you like, mommy."

"Everything looks so beautiful."

"Promise me something."

"Anything."

"Pick out what you like and don't worry about the price."

"I think I can handle that."

Keeping hold of Edward's hand I walked through the store picking up baby onsies in blue, pink, white and yellow, since we didn't know the sex of the baby yet, this was the safest option and I had a feeling it would keep Alice occupied for a while. Handing the baby clothes to Edward, I started to look at bedding and blankets, finding one with lambs on. I couldn't resist buying it as it reminded me of the first time Edward had taken me to the meadow, further along the aisle I found the same blanket with mountain lions on it, once again handing them to Edward, who had acquired a basket. Making my way over to the cuddly toys I fell in love with all the stuffed animals rubbing my swollen belly gently in the process imagining our little one playing with them. I was brought out of my thoughts by a bottle blonde sales assistant coming over to us; I could tell she was going to be one of those girls who flirted with Edward. I'd like to see her try.

"Can I help you with anything? Anything at all."

"No thank you. I think we have everything."

"Are you _sure_?"

"He just said so didn't he? We'll be paying soon. Please _leave._"

Thankfully the blonde bimbo left after my short outburst, I'd never reacted that way before, even when I'd felt the most vulnerable knowing Tanya had been hitting on Edward for years before my birth. Taking calming deep breaths I managed to gain some control back. Stupid pregnancy hormones. Looking into Edward's eyes I sighed completely relaxing again as I inhaled his unique scent. The flirty bimbo sales assistant rang through our purchases giving me a smug look. I knew she thought we couldn't pay for everything. Edward already had his black card out.

"That'll be $900. Thank you."

"No change."

"Where to next?"

"Wherever you'd like to go, love. Today is your day."

"What about baby furniture?"

"Alice already ordered all of that, she did it before I could stop her."

"It's okay; at least she'll not feel left out. I think that's everything then."

"Alright, let's get all these bags to the car."

Leaning my head against Edward's arm, I smiled as we walked out of the store, for the first time not caring about the price of everything we'd just purchased. Our baby deserved the very best of everything. Just as we reached the Volvo, my breath caught in my throat as I spotted Jacob getting out of the Rabbit. Of course, my small gasp alerted him to our presence. What surprised me most was the smile he gave me as he started to walk toward us. Clutching onto Edward's hand tightly I took deep breaths managing to calm myself down just as Jacob appeared in front of us.

"Hey Bells, Edward."

"Hi Jake, are you okay?"

"Better than before. Dad told me that you'd been down to talk to him."

"He needed to know Jake, not everything that happened was my fault."

"I know that now Bells, Sam and Billy knocked some sense into me."

"So you know then?"

"That you're pregnant yes."

"And you're not mad at me?"

"No, I understand now. You're to Edward, what Emily is to Sam. I just want my best friend back."

"I'd like that."

"Edward, I'd like to say sorry for everything I did to you."

"It's in the past Jacob. We're going to be busy for a few more days but maybe we could meet up at Billy's after."

"I'll talk to Billy about it. Oh and Bells."

"Yeah."

"You're glowing."

"That's the morning sickness."

"That bad huh."

"Mm, tell Quil I said hi. We have to get all this stuff back to the house before Alice decides to buy more."

"Same old, same old."

"Alice will be Alice."

"See you later Bells. I'll call you."

"See you soon Jake."

As Jake made his way back toward Quil, I slid into the Volvo, still in shock, I couldn't believe I was finally getting my best friend back, it was something I'd always wanted but never allowed myself to think was possible especially after the events on that mountain top. It didn't take long for Edward to load all the shopping bags into the back of the car and once again we were on our way back to Forks, I knew the minute we left the parking lot, Alice would be calling us, Jake's presence would have made her visions go black. As if on cue, Edward's cell rang as he put her on speakerphone so his hands were kept free.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen do you mind explaining to me why my vision only just cleared up."

"Well hello to you too Alice. Bella and Jake were talking."

"You let that mutt near her."

"Alice he's changed, he's grown up. I know it's hard to believe but it's true."

"Aright, I believe you. When are you coming home?"

"We're nearly there. Why?"

"We want to start reading again that's if you're ready now of course."

"I'm ready, I'm sorry I made you wait, I just needed a normal day."

"We understand. I see you're coming up the driveway see you soon."

"Bye Alicat."

"Bye Bella."

After Edward hung up I couldn't keep my laugh in, we'd only been out for half an hour and already she was missing us, it warmed my heart to know that they missed us, I always knew Edward's family had accepted me wholeheartedly, but since we'd received these books, every single one of them had started to realise just how much our emotions and love was intertwined, even Rosalie seemed to have finally realised that Edward and I belonged together. It could only get better from here. After Edward unloaded the car, it wasn't long before we were once again sitting around the coffee table in the living room, the fire crackling in the background. I knew what would be coming up in the next chapter and I was desperately trying to hide my embarrassment. Taking a deep breath I prepared myself for every single joke Emmett could come up with as Edward picked up the book to begin reading.


	11. Blood Type

**Title:** Receiving The Books – The Cullens Read Midnight Sun

**Author:** Bella Katelyn

**Rating:** M

**Summary:** On their arrival home from their honeymoon, Bella and Edward find out that five books have been delivered to the Cullen house. Four from the past and one of the future. Follow my story as they sit down to read. How will Bella react when she hears Edward's thoughts for the first time? How will Edward react when he realises Bella's feelings for him mirrored his own?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to author Stephanie Meyer, and are brought to the fandom by Summit Entertainment. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours. With that said I hope you enjoy this story as much as I'm going to enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

**Blood Type**

**BPOV**

With my head resting snuggling in the crook of Edward's neck, I felt relaxed almost instantly as he prepared himself to read the next chapter, I'd often wondered if he had told his family of my little fainting spell, to say I was beyond mortified that they were not only going to hear this once but twice, from Edward's thoughts and secondly mine. Taking a deep breath I calmed instantly as Edward's smooth marble lips against my skin. Once he was completely satisfied that I was once again comfortable he cleared his thoughts preparing to read his thoughts for the first time.

"This chapter is called Blood Type."

**I followed her all day through other people's eyes, barely aware of my own surroundings. Not Mike Newton's eyes, because I couldn't stand any more of his offensive fantasies, and not Jessica Stanley's, because her resentment toward Bella made me angry in a way that wasn't safe for the petty girl. Angela Weber was a good choice when her eyes were available, she was kind – her head was an easy place to be. And then sometimes it was the teachers who provided the best views.**

"Wow, you really watched me like that?"

"You fascinated me, not only that but I wanted to make sure no one hurt you. Jessica's thoughts were really hard to listen to."

"Will you tell me?"

"Soon, when we are alone."

"I think I can handle that."

"I love you Mr Masen Cullen."

"I love you too Mrs Masen Cullen."

"Bella could I get you something to eat?"

"Pickles and peanut butter please."

"Eww gross."

"Can't help what I'm craving big brother."

"Coming up sweetheart."

"Thank you Esme."

"Carry on Edward, sorry for interrupting."

"It's okay, my love."

**I was surprised, watching her stumble through the day – tripping over cracks in the sidewalk, stray books, and most often, her own feet – that the people I eavesdropped on thought of Bella as **_**clumsy. **_**I considered that. It was true that she often had trouble staying upright. I remembered her stumbling into the desk that first day, sliding around on the ice before the accident, falling over the low lip of the doorframe yesterday…How odd they were right. She **_**was **_**clumsy.**

"No need to rub it in. It's Charlie's fault."

"Mm, I can believe that."

"I want to do something special for him."

"What did you have in mind?"

"Not sure yet. But I would like him to know our secret; maybe he can read the books with us after this one."

"I think we can do that. He is going to find out sooner or later now he's with Sue Clearwater."

"That's what I thought. He might finally forgive Edward for leaving if he finds out why as well."

"We trust you Bella, but what about your mother?"

"She wouldn't understand. It's better if she's kept in the dark."

"As you wish sweetheart."

"Thank you Carlisle."

"Any time."

**I didn't know why this was so funny to me, but I laughed out loud as I walked from American History to English and several people shot me wary looks. How had I never noticed this before? Perhaps because there was something very graceful about her in stillness, the way she held her head, the arch of her neck…**

"Dude you really did have her on your mind."

"Like you don't have Rose on your mind constantly."

"Well that's different."

"How so? Bella is my mate just as much as Rose is yours. The fact that she is human bares no difference. She is my life, my heart, but most importantly my soul. And this little one she carries under her heart, I'll always protect my family."

"I was only messing with you."

"I know you were, but remember next time to be a little bit more sensitive."

"Alright, I'm sorry."

"You're forgiven."

"Now read."

"Alright. Jeez."

"He's going to be worse when it's my thoughts."

"No doubt about it little sister."

"Great, just great."

**There was nothing graceful about her now. Mr Varner watched as she caught the toe of her boot on the carpet and literally fell into her chair. I laughed again. The time moved with incredible sluggishness while I waited for my chance to see her with my own eyes. Finally, the bell rang. I strode quickly to the cafeteria to secure my spot. I was one of the first there. I chose a table that was usually empty, and was sure to remain that way with me seated there.**

"I thought you'd left again."

"I guessed as much, you only spotted me when Jessica pointed me out."

"I remember I was so nervous."

"Why?"

"Because you captured my heart, I wanted you to know, but I felt scared that you would reject me."

"Oh Bella."

"S-sorry."

"No need sweetheart."

"Sorry I interrupted again."

"You're forgiven, this is the first time you're hearing it."

"Hey!"

"Oh shut up Emmett, you're wanting to read but then complaining throughout it."

"Humph!"

**When my family entered and saw me sitting alone in a new place, they were not surprised. Alice must have warned them. Rosalie stalked past me without a glance.**

_**Idiot.**_

**Rosalie and I had never had an easy relationship – I'd offended her the very first time she'd heard me speak, and it was downhill from there – but it seemed like she was even more ill-tempered than usual the last few days. I sighed. Rosalie made everything about herself.**

"I'm sorry Bella; I know my hostility frightened you."

"You intimated me, especially when our eyes locked. But I know now why you were so closed off."

"Edward's right, you're amazing."

"He's biased."

"We all think it."

"Well thank you."

"You're welcome."

**Jasper gave me a half smile as he walked by.**

_**Good luck, **_**he thought doubtfully.**

**Emmett rolled his eyes and shook his head. **

_**Lost his mind, poor kid.**_

"Gee thanks Emmett, I thought you liked me from the start."

"I did, but that still don't mean I didn't think your husband was crazy. I've felt the power of having a singer."

"You did?"

"Mm, twice."

"Edward mentioned something but he didn't exactly go into detail. You don't have to tell me."

"Maybe later. Don't want to prolong the books now do we?"

"Good point."

Resting my head against Edward's shoulder again, I rested my eyes inhaling his scent as it calmed me down instantly, the vibrations in his chest vibrated shot through my cheek as he began reading again. I'd always loved his velvety voice, but hearing him read his thoughts aloud warmed my beating heart.

**Alice was beaming, her teeth shining too brightly.**

_**Can I talk to Bella now?**_

"**Keep out of it," I said under my breath.**

**Her face fell, and then brightened again.**

_**Fine. Be stubborn. It's only a matter of time.**_

**I sighed again.**

_**Don't forget about today's biology lab, **_**she reminded me.**

I groaned burying my head into Edward's chest.

"What brought on that reaction?"

"I'm sure you're going to find out."

"Aww come on please tell."

"No, it's embarrassing."

"Leave her alone Emmett."

"Alright, alright."

**I nodded. No, I hadn't forgotten that. While I waited for Bella to arrive, I followed her in the eyes of the freshman who was walking behind Jessica on his way to the cafeteria. Jessica was babbling about the upcoming dance, but Bella said nothing in response. Not that Jessica gave her much of a chance. The moment Bella walked through the door, her eyes flashed to the table where my siblings sat. She stared for a moment, and then her forehead crumpled and her eyes dropped to the floor. She hadn't noticed me here. She looked so…**_**sad. **_

"That's because I was."

"Oh Bella, I really did misinterpret everything. As much as it pains me to say it I should never have tried to change Alice's visions."

"If Alice hadn't seen it, would you have done things the same way?"

"I don't think so, trying to stay away from you was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Leaving you was the worst. I was stupid to try and make your decisions for you."

"You were, but you learned from it and we're in a better place now. Sometimes things need to happen to become stronger."

"I love you."

"Love you too baby."

**I felt a powerful urge to get up and go to her side, to comfort her somehow, only I didn't know what she would find comforting. I had no idea what made her look that way. Jessica continued to jabber on about the dance. Was Bella sad that she was going to miss it? That didn't seem likely… **

**But that could be remedied, if she wished.**

**She bought a drink for her lunch and nothing else. Was that right? Didn't she need more nutrition than that? I'd never paid much attention to a human's diet before.**

"Here's your lunch sweetheart."

"Thank you Esme, I'm sorry about the smell."

"It's nothing, whatever my grandchild wants, she gets."

"She? You think it's a girl?"

"I do."

"I think so too."

"A little girl with her father's hair and mother's eyes."

"I'd rather her have your eyes."

"After this chapter we can do another sonogram if you'd wish."

"I'd like that. Very much."

"I'll go set everything up. Please continue."

**Humans were quite exasperatingly fragile! There were a million different things to worry about…**

"And you find every single thing to worry about."

"You wound me."

"Only playing with you. I love that you're protective especially now I'm pregnant."

"I'll try and not be too overprotective."

"Mm, I'll hold you to that."

"Get a room."

"Children."

"Sorry Mom."

"**Edward Cullen is staring at you again," I heard Jessica say. "I wonder why he's sitting alone today."**

**I was grateful to Jessica – though she was even more resentful now – because Bella's head snapped up and her eyes searched until they met mine. There was no trace of sadness in her face now. I let myself hope that she'd been sad because she'd thought I'd left school early, and that hope made me smile. I motioned with my finger for her to join me. She looked so startled by this that I wanted to tease her again. So I winked, and her mouth fell open.**

"**Does he mean **_**you**_**?" Jessica asked rudely.**

"**Maybe he needs help with his Biology homework," she said in a low, uncertain voice. "Um, I'd better go see what he wants." **

**This was another yes. **

**She stumbled twice on her way to my table, though there was nothing in her way but perfectly even linoleum. Seriously, how **_**had **_**I missed this before? I'd been paying more attention to her silent thoughts, I supposed... What else had I missed?**

_**Keep it honest; keep it light, **_**I chanted to myself.**

"Whoa, you really were nervous."

"Mm, more than you'll ever know."

"But why? I mean you knew she was your mate."

"Because I still thought she would run away screaming."

"Never."

"I know, love. Are you finished eating?"

"Mm hm."

"Here is your blood."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Less talking, more reading."

"So impatient but okay."

**She stopped behind the chair across from me, hesitating. I inhaled deeply, through my nose this time rather than my mouth. **

_**Feel the burn, **_**I thought dryly.**

"**Why don't you sit with me today?" I asked her.**

**She pulled the chair out and sat, staring at me the whole time. She seemed nervous, but her physical acceptance was yet another yes. I waited for her to speak. It took a moment, but, finally, she said, "This is different." **

"**Well…" I hesitated. "I decided as long as I'm going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly."**

**What had made me say that? I supposed it was honest, at least. And perhaps she'd hear the unsubtle warning my words applied. Maybe she would realise that she should get up and walk away as quickly as possible. **

"Not bloody likely. Being apart from you even back then, hurt."

"Really? How so."

"When I figured out what you were. I contemplated the idea of leaving you alone and getting on with my life, but the physical pain from the very thought of never sharing me life with you made me reject it instantly. Like I mentioned when we finally talked about our feelings after you left…it felt like a hole had been punched through my chest at the thought of never being with you. I think… no I know, if I couldn't be with you I'd probably have followed you just to see your face."

"Isabella."

"You are my reason for existing."

"So beautiful."

**She didn't get up. She stared at me, waiting, as if I'd left my sentence unfinished. **

"**You know I don't have any idea what you mean," she said when I didn't continue.**

**That was a relief. I smiled.**

"**I know." **

**It was hard to ignore the thoughts screaming at me from behind her back – and I wanted to change the subject anyway.**

"**I think your friends are angry at me for stealing you." **

**This did not appear to concern her. "They'll survive."**

"**I may not give you back, though." I didn't even know if I was trying to be honest now, or just trying to tease her again. Being near her made it hard to make sense of my own thoughts. Bella swallowed loudly. **

**I laughed at her expression. "You look worried." It really **_**shouldn't **_**be funny… She should worry.**

"You see through me so easily, even if I could lie as smoothly as you you'd see through me."

"How right you are sweetheart."

"I think everyone here could say that of you too."

"How right you are little sister."

"Hey!"

"Aww you know I still love you right baby?"

"Of course I do. I love you."

"Love you too."

"**No." She was a bad liar; it didn't help that her voice broke. "Surprised, actually… What brought this on?"**

"**I told you," I reminded her. "I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So I'm giving up." I held my smile in with a bit of effort. This wasn't working at all – trying to be honest and casual at the same time. **

"**Giving up?" she repeated, baffled.**

"**Yes – giving up trying to be good." And, apparently giving up trying to be casual. "I'm just going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may." That was honest enough. Let her see my selfishness. Let that warn her, too.**

"Edward! You are not selfish. You can't take something from someone when they want it just as badly."

"Why do I get the feeling that your thoughts are going to be hard to hear at times?"

"Because they probably will. I'm not looking forward to hearing them."

"Why not?"

"Well two reasons, number one, I don't want things out there that could set me and Rose's relationship back to the beginning and secondly, your oaf of a brother."

"Hey!"

"Well Emmett you've not helped the argument by being a pain in the ass throughout Edward's thoughts. I dread to think what you're going to do when it comes to mine."

"I'll try and behave okay."

"That's all I ask."

"**You lost me again."**

**I was selfish enough to be glad that this was the case. "I always say too much when I'm talking to you – that's one of the problems." **

**A rather insignificant problem, compared to the rest. **

"**Don't worry," she reassured me. "I don't understand any of it." **

**Good. Then she'd stay. "I'm counting on that." **

"**So, in plain English, are we friends now?"**

**I pondered that for a second. "Friends…" I repeated. I didn't like the sound of that it wasn't enough.**

"**Or not," she mumbled, looking embarrassed. **

"Oh no,"

"What is it, love?"

"I'm just not looking forward to what's coming up."

"Ooooh sounds intriguing."

"Urgh."

"Emmett don't start."

"Fine."

**Did she think I didn't like her that much?**

**I smiled. "Well, we can try, I suppose. But I'm warning you now I'm not a good friend for you."**

**I waited for her response, torn in two – wishing she would finally hear and understand, thinking I might die if she did. How melodramatic. I was turning into such a human. Her heart beat faster.**

"**You say that a lot."**

"**Yes, because you're not listening to me," I said, too intense again. "I'm still waiting for you to believe it. If you're smart, you'll avoid me."**

**Ah but would I allow her to do that, if you tried?**

**Her eyes tightened. "I think you've made your opinion on the subject of my intellect clear, too."**

"Ooooh burn you pissed her off."

"That's it I've had it with your remarks Emmett. No I wasn't angry at him, confused yes, angry no. However if you carry on with your idiotic comments much longer you'll find yourself on the receiving end of my shield. Do I make myself clear?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down."

"Do you want to take a break, love?"

"No I'm good, I'm just sick of him winding you up."

"I'm fine, sweetheart I promise."

"Alright."

"You better listen to her Emmett; otherwise you'll be sleeping on the couch."

"Rosie."

"Don't Rosie me."

"Fine."

**I wasn't exactly sure what she meant, but I smiled in apology, guessing that I must have offended her accidentally.**

"**So," she said slowly. "As long as I'm being…not smart, we'll try to be friends?"**

"**That sounds about right."**

**She looked down, staring intently at the lemonade bottle in her hands. The old curiosity tormented me.**

"**What are you thinking?" I asked – it was a relief to say the words out loud at last.**

**She met my gaze, and her breathing sped while her cheeks flushed faint pink. I inhaled, tasting that in the air.**

"**I'm trying to figure out what you are."**

"I didn't see that one coming. Alice started distracting us halfway through your conversation."

"Well you all know I was going to find out eventually even without Jake's help."

"I know, I know."

"And you know what Jazz."

"What?"

"There was never any doubt in my mind that Edward was my soul mate."

"I can tell. I know your emotions remember."

"Mm."

**I held the smile on my face, locking my features that way, while panic twisted through my body. Of course she was wondering that. She wasn't stupid. I couldn't hope for her to be oblivious to something so obvious.**

"**Are you having any luck with that?" I asked as lightly as I could manage.**

"**Not too much," she admitted.**

**I chuckled in sudden relief. "What are your theories?" **

**They couldn't be worse than the truth, no matter what she'd come up with. **

"Utterly embarrassing."

"Ssh, love you need to stay calm."

"Sorry."

"No need, sweetheart, deep down I wanted you to know what I was. I was just scared."

"No matter what happens as long as we're together I'll survive."

"I feel the same way."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

"What's embarrassing?"

"You'll see very soon."

**Her cheeks turned brighter red, and she said nothing. I could feel the warmth of her blush in the air. I tried using my persuasive tone on her. It worked well on normal humans.**

"**Won't you tell me?" I smiled encouragingly.**

**She shook her head. "Too embarrassing."**

**Ugh. Not knowing was worse than anything else. Why would her speculations embarrass her? I couldn't stand not knowing. **

"**That's **_**really **_**frustrating you know."**

**My complaint sparked something in her. Her eyes flashed and her words flowed more swiftly than usual. **

"**No, I can't **_**imagine **_**why that would be frustrating at all – just because someone refuses to tell you what they're thinking, even if all the while they're wondering what they could possibly mean…now, why would that be frustrating?"**

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologise for. Reading this, I can understand why you believed me so easily."

"You spent so much time saying you'd leave if you needed to, to protect me, I started to believe I wasn't good enough. I already thought it before that but this just made it sink in deeper. I always thought it was too good to be true."

"Oh sweetheart, I love you with every fibre of my existence."

"I love you more than my own life. You've given me everything I could ever want and more."

"Awww."

"Way to show us up dude."

"It's not my fault you can't be a gentleman."

**I frowned at her, upset to realise that she was right. I wasn't being fair. **

**She went on. "Or better, say that person also did a wide range of bizarre things – from saving your life under impossible circumstances one day to treating you like a pariah the next, and he never explained any of that either, even after he promised. That, also, would be **_**very **_**non-frustrating."**

**It was the longest speech I'd ever heard her make, and it gave me a new quality for my list. **

"**You've got a bit of a temper, don't you?**

"**I don't like double standards."**

**She was completely justified in her irritation, of course.**

**I stared at Bella, wondering how I could possibly do anything right by herm until the silent shouting in Mike Newton's head distracted me. He was so irate that it made me chuckle.**

"Stupid, immature boys."

"Huh?"

"Mike Newton, know he still thinks stuff about me in his thoughts despite Jess finally realising we are meant for each other. I can always tell by the look on Edward's face."

"I think they all finally got the message last night. I'd still keep my eye on Lauren though. She was _too _nice."

"That's what I thought. I just wish we could stay here longer."

"Would you like to move to Seattle instead of Hanover, that way we can be closer to your father and still be outside of Forks."

"I'd like that."

"Then that's what we'll do."

"Only if everyone else is happy with it. I don't want to cause any trouble."

"Bella I think we should talk after this chapter."

"Okay Rose."

"And I'm happy with being in Seattle."

"Thank you."

"Any time little sister."

"**What?" she demanded.**

"**Your boyfriend seems to think I'm being unpleasant to you – he's debating whether or not to come and break up our fight." **

**I would love to see him try. I laughed again.**

"**I don't know what you're talking about," she said in an icy voice. "But I'm sure you're wrong anyway."**

**I very much enjoyed the way she disowned him with her dismissive sentence. **

"**I'm not. I told you, most people are easy to read." **

"**Except me, of course."**

"**Yes. Except for you." **

"Such a worrier."

"I'll always worry about you, love. And soon our little one."

"I know. No matter what happens we'll always protect each other. Forever."

"Forever. Can I have some more blood?"

"Of course sweetheart, let me get it."

"Thank you Esme."

"Any time, I like being able to look after you."

**Did she have to be the exception to everything? Wouldn't it have been fairer – considering everything else I had to deal with now – if I could have at least heard **_**something **_**from her head? Was that so much to ask? **

"**I wonder why that is?"**

_I love you._

"I love you too angel,"

"She never spoke."

"No she opened up her thoughts to me."

"You just love that you can read her thoughts now."

"Of course I do. I've had to wait two years for it."

"And I wouldn't change a thing. I see how much you're relaxed since we found out."

"I am, it puts my mind at ease knowing what you're thinking."

"And that's all that matters."

**I stared into her eyes, trying again…**

**She looked away. She opened her lemonade and took a quick drink, her eyes on the table. **

"**Aren't you hungry?" I asked.**

"**No." She eyes the empty table between us. "You?"**

"**No I'm not hungry." I said. I was definitely not that.**

**She stared at the table her lips pursed. I waited.**

"**Could you do me a favour?" she asked, suddenly meeting my gaze again.**

**What would she want from me? Would she ask for the truth that I wasn't allowed to tell her – the truth I didn't want her to be ever, ever know? **

"**That depends on what you want." **

"**It's not much," she promised.**

**I waited, curious again.**

"**I just wondered.." she said slowly, staring at the lemonade bottle, tracing its lip with her littlest finger. "If you could warn me beforehand the next time you decide to ignore me for my own good? Just so I'm prepared."**

**She wanted a warning? Then being ignored by me must be a bad thing… I smiled.**

"It's a very bad thing, I worry about you just as much as you worry about me you know."

"I know sweetheart."

"You two are so adorable."

"I think I'll take that as a compliment Rose."

"Good because that's what it was meant as."

"I'm glad you don't hate me anymore."

"I never hated you Bella. I just needed to get to know you."

"I always wanted a big sister."

"And now you have two."

"Best thing to ever happen to me."

"Good to know."

"**That sounds fair," I agreed.**

"**Thanks," she said, looking up. Her face was so relieved that I wanted to laugh with my own relief.**

"**Then can I have one in return?" I asked hesitantly.**

"**One," she allowed.**

"**Tell me **_**one **_**theory." **

**She flushed. "Not that one." **

"**You didn't qualify, you just promised one answer," I argued.**

"**And you've broken promises yourself," she argued back.**

**She had me there. **

"**Just one theory – I won't laugh."**

"**Yes, you will." She seemed very sure of that, though I couldn't imagine anything that would be funny about it. I gave persuasion another try. I stared deep into her eyes – an easy thing to do with eyes so deep – and whispered, "Please?"**

**She blinked, and her face went blank.**

"Now I get why you say I dazzle you."

"I just had to look at you and you'd smile at me, everything about you sucked me in."

"Mrs Cullen are you telling me that I'm your own brand of heroin?"

"Mm hm."

"You manage to surprise me again and again."

"That goes for both of us. You're constantly surprising me."

"I love you angel."

"I love you too baby."

"Hey little sis are you finished with those pickles yet?"

"Mm why?"

"The smell is vile."

"Oh sorry you can take them away if you'd like."

Before I could even finish talking, Emmett had already taken the pickles away and was once again sitting next to Rosalie on the loveseat. Blushing tomato red I buried my head into Edward's chest smiling against his skin as he began reading again.

**Well, that wasn't exactly the reaction I'd be going for.**

"**Er, what?" she asked. She looked dizzy. What was wrong with her?**

**But I wasn't giving up yet.**

"**Please tell me just one little theory," I pleaded in my soft, non-scary voice, holding her eyes in mine. To my surprise and satisfaction, it finally worked.**

"**Um, well, bitten by a radioactive spider?"**

"Oh Bella that's funny, I thought you had more imagination than that."

"I wouldn't get so cocky if I were you Emmett, Wouldn't want anything happening to that pretty little jeep of yours now would you."

"You wouldn't."

"Try me. These books are hard enough for Edward and me to live through again without you trying to make fun of us."

"I didn't mean it in a bad way."

"Whatever."

"Bella…"

"Emmett not now, please."

"Alright."

**Comic books? No wonder she thought I would laugh. **

"**That's not very creative," I chided her, trying to hide my fresh relief.**

"**I'm sorry that's all I've got." She said, offended.**

**This relieved me even more. I was able to tease her again. **

"**You're not even close."**

"**No spiders?"**

"**Nope." **

"**And no radioactivity?"**

"**None."**

"**Dang," she sighed.**

"**Kryptonite doesn't bother me either," I said quickly – before she could ask about **_**bites **_**– and then I had to laugh because she thought I was a superhero.**

"You'll always be my hero."

"You're my hero. You saved me from myself."

"You trusted me with your secret and that will always mean something to me. I love you."

"I love you too."

"What are you thinking?"

"Just wondering what it would be like to hear this conversation in my thoughts."

"We'll find out soon enough."

"That's true. Sorry I interrupted again."

"I don't mind."

"Please continue."

"**You're not supposed to laugh, remember?"**

**I pressed my lips together.**

"**I'll figure it out eventually," she promised.**

**And when she did, she would run.**

"Yeah right. I'll always run toward you."

"I know, and when our baby is born I'll protect you both with my life."

"I know you will, you're going to be a wonderful father."

"You'll be a wonderful mother."

"**I wish you wouldn't try," I said, all teasing gone.**

"**Because…?"**

**I owed her honesty. Still, I tried to smile, to make my words sound less threatening. "What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?" **

**Her eyes widened by a fraction and her lips fell slightly apart. "Oh," she said. And then after another second. "I see."**

**She finally heard me.**

"**Do you?" I asked, working to conceal my agony.**

"**You're dangerous?" she guessed. Her breathing hiked, and her heart raced. I couldn't answer her. Was this my last moment with her? Would she run now? Could I be allowed to tell her that I loved her before she left? Or would that frighten her more?**

"**But not bad," she whispered, shaking her head, no fear in her clear eyes. "No, I don't believe that you're bad." **

"**You're wrong," I breathed.**

"And you tell Bella that she doesn't see herself clearly."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Time and time again she told you that she didn't think you were bad yet you wouldn't believe her, time and time again you tell Bella she looks beautiful but she doesn't believe it. You both need to build up your self-esteem."

"I didn't think of it that way."

"Maybe these books will teach you."

"I already know that I messed up back then."

"But you made up for it. Not that I ever blamed you, nor Jazz. I should have been more careful."

"Let's not go over that until we have to."

"Alright."

**Of course I was bad. Wasn't I rejoicing now, that she thought better of me than I deserved? If I were a good person, I would have stayed away from her. I stretched my hand across the table, reaching for the lid to her lemonade bottle as an excuse. She did not flinch away from my suddenly closer hand. She really was not afraid of me. Not yet.**

"Not ever."

"Are you okay, love?"

"Mm hm. The baby is moving a little I think."

"Really?"

"It feels like butterflies in my stomach."

"I think you're right about the baby. It's early but Carlisle did say that this pregnancy would be shorter than a normal one. And it's not uncommon for mother's to feel the baby moving earlier."

"As long as he or she is healthy that's all I care about."

"Bella?"

"Yeah Carlisle."

"Your baby is very healthy, the heartbeat is strong and I'd say you are progressing about a week or two ahead of a normal human pregnancy."

"That's good to know."

"Glad I could help."

**I spun the lid like a top, watching it instead of her. My thoughts were in a snarl.**

_**Run, Bella, run. **_**I couldn't make myself say the words out loud. **

**She jumped to her feet. "We're going to be late," she said, just as I'd started to worry that she'd somehow heard my silent warning.**

"Oh no."

"What? What are we missing?"

"I have a feeling you're going to find out very soon."

"Aww that's not fair tell us."

"No, you're going to find out. It's embarrassing enough that it's in Edward's thoughts, let alone that you'll hear it again in my thoughts."

"Fine, Edward continue."

"Very well."

"**I'm not going to class."**

"**Why not?"**

_**Because I don't want to kill you. **_**"It's healthy to ditch class now and then." **

**To be precise, it was healthier for the humans if the vampires ditched on days when human blood would be spilt. Mr Banner was blood typing today. Alice had already ditched her morning class. **

"**Well, I'm going," she said. This didn't surprise me. She was responsible – she always did the right thing.**

**She was my opposite. **

"**I'll see you later then," I said, trying for casual again, staring down at the whirling lid. **_**And, by the way, I adore you…in frightening, dangerous ways.**_

"Do you still have that lemonade cap?"

"Of course I do. It's in our closet in a box amongst other mementoes."

"Can we look through them later. I'd like to know what else you've saved."

"Of course we can."

"Thank you."

"What for?"

"Loving me."

"You are my life."

"Enough with the mushy stuff and get on with the reading."

"You never learn do you Emmett."

"What does that mean?"

"You'll see."

**She hesitated, and I hoped for a moment that she would stay with me after all. But the bell rang and she hurried away. I waited until she was gone, and then I put the lid in my pocket – a souvenir of this most consequential conversation – and walked through the rain to my car. I put on my favourite calming CD – the same one I'd listened to that first day – but I wasn't hearing Debussy's notes for long. Other notes were running through my head, a fragment of a tune that pleased and intrigued me.**

"My lullaby?"

"Would you teach me how to play?"

"Of course I will. I'd be honoured."

"I feel sick again."

"I know my love, I can feel it."

"Sorry."

"You have nothing to apologise for."

"But you don't feel well now either."

"I wouldn't change it."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

**I turned down the stereo and listened to the music in my head, playing with the fragment until it evolved into a fuller harmony. Instinctively, my fingers moved in the air over imaginary piano keys. The new composition was really coming along when my attention was caught in a wave of mental anguish. I looked toward the distress.**

_**Is she going to pass out? What do I do? **_**Mike panicked.**

**A hundred yards away, Mike Newton was lowering Bella's limp body to the sidewalk. She slumped unresponsively against the wet concrete, her eyes closed, and her skin chalky as a corpse. I almost took the door off the car.**

"**Bella?" I shouted.**

**There was no change in her lifeless face when I yelled her name. **

**My whole body went colder than ice.**

"You really were freaking out?"

"Of course, I thought you'd been taken away from me."

"No one can ever take me away from you. I'm yours."

"Mine. Always mine."

"Agreed."

"Aww."

I blushed hiding my face once more resting my hand over my swollen belly rubbing it gently smiling as Edward's free hand slid under his sweater caressing our baby through my skin as he started to read again.

**I was aware of Mike's aggravated surprise as I sifted through his thoughts. He was only thinking of his anger toward me, so I didn't know what was wrong with Bella. If he'd done something to harm her, I would annihilate him.**

"**What's wrong – is she hurt?" I demanded, trying to focus his thoughts. It was maddening to have to walk at a human pace. I should not have called attention to my approach. Then I could hear her heart beating and her even breath. As I watched, she squeezed her eyes more tightly shut. That eased some of my panic.**

**I saw a flicker of memories in Mike's head a splash of images from the Biology room. Bella's head on our table, her fair skin turning green. Drops of red against the white cards…**

**Blood typing.**

**I stopped where I was, holding my breath. Her scent was one thing, her flowing blood was another altogether. **

"**I think she's fainted," Mike said, anxious and resentful at the same time. "I don't know what happened, she didn't even stick her finger."**

"You get sick by the sight of blood?"

"I'm not telling you, it'll be coming up in a matter of moments I'm sure you can wait that long."

"Fine. Spoil all my fun."

"Too bad."

**Relief washed through me, and I breathed again, tasting the air. Ah I could smell the tiny flow of Mike Newton's puncture wound. Once, that might have appealed to me. I knelt beside her while Mike hovered next to me, furious at my intervention.**

"**Bella. Can you hear me?"**

"**No," she moaned. "Go away." **

**The relief was so exquisite that I laughed. She was fine. **

"**I was taking her to the nurse," Mike said. "But she wouldn't go any further."**

"**I'll take her. You can go back to class," I said dismissively.**

"He hated that. I felt like I was going to throw up at any moment but I could tell that."

"He just didn't want to admit to himself that you really weren't interested in him."

"He's an idiot."

"How right you are, love."

"I think I'm learning way more from your thoughts than I did from my own thoughts."

"I can't wait to hear your thoughts."

"I know, and it's only because you want to hear them I'm willing to sit through them."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

**Mike's teeth clenched together. "No. I'm supposed to do it."**

**I wasn't going to stand around arguing with the wretch. Thrilled and terrified, half-aggrieved by the predicament which made touching her a necessity, I gently lifted Bella from the sidewalk and held her in my arms, touching her clothes keeping as much distance between our bodies as possible. I was striding forward in the same movement, in a hurry to have her safe – father away from me, in other words.**

"All I could think was "Please don't let me throw up on him."

"Well I have to say I'm immensely glad you didn't. Although I didn't think it was that bad."

"It didn't used to be, but as time got on it got worse. Who thought that there would be a time when I'd actually be drinking it?"

"It keeps you and the baby healthy."

"I know, since I started to drink it the baby has been moving around more. I dread to think what could have happened if I didn't start to crave it myself. Although something tells me we will find out."

"Why do you think that?"

"Just a feeling I get."

"And you are usually right when it comes to your intuition."

"I love you. I'm sorry I interrupted again."

"I like to hear your thoughts on my words, it helps me understand more."

"I know the feeling."

**Her eyes popped open, astonished.**

"**Put me down," she ordered in a weak voice – embarrassed again, I guessed from her expression. She didn't like to show weakness. I barely heard Mike's shouted protests behind us. **

"**You look awful," I told her, grinning because there was nothing wrong with her but I was light head and a weak stomach.**

"**Put me back on the sidewalk," she said. Her lips were white.**

"**So you faint at the sight of blood?" Could it get any more ironic?**

**She closed her eyes and pressed her lips together.**

"**And not even your own blood," I added, my grin widening.**

"Glad you find my suffering amusing."

"Oh, love, I'm sorry I didn't want to hurt your feelings."

"It's not that, it's just a little embarrassing."

"Do you want to take a break?"

"No, we might as well get this chapter done with."

"Alright beautiful."

**We were at the front office now. The door was propped open an inch, and I kicked it out of my way. Ms Cope jumped, startled.**

"**Oh, my," she gasped as she examined the ashen girl in my arms.**

"**She fainted in Biology," I explained, before her imagination could get too out of hand. **

**Ms Cope hurried to open the door to the nurse's office. Bella's eyes were open again, watching her. I heard the elderly nurse's internal astonishment as I laid the girl carefully on the one shabby bed. As soon as Bella was out of my arms, I put the width of the room between us. My body was too excited, too eager, my muscles tense and the venom flowing. She was so warm and fragrant.**

"Oh my god, Why did you never tell me this. I could have made things easier for you."

"It's not exactly something you can tell the girl you're falling in love with. I'm sorry but I can't stand next to you because I want to drink your deliciously smelling blood."

"Alright I see your point. I'd still have liked to know. It's not like that now though right?"

"No, ever since Volterra I've got control over _that _side of my nature."

"I still hate to see you in pain."

"That makes two of us."

"Mm."

"**She's just a little faint," I reassured Mrs Hammond. "They're blood typing in biology." **

**She nodded, understanding now. "There's always one."**

**I stifled a laugh. Trust Bella to be that one.**

"**Just lie down for a minute, honey," Mrs Hammond said. "It'll pass."**

"**I know," Bella said.**

"**Does this happen often?" the nurse asked.**

"**Sometimes," Bella admitted.**

**I tried to disguise my laughter as coughing. This brought me to the nurse's attention. "You can go back to class now," she said.**

**I looked her straight in the eye and lied with perfect confidence. "I'm supposed to stay with her."**

_**Hmm. I wonder…oh well. **_**Mrs Hammond nodded.**

"You dazzled her."

"Apparently so. I didn't think it was that effective."

"Oh believe me it's very effective."

"You my love are amazing."

"How so?"

"You never cease to amaze me. You've always taken me for who I am not what I am."

"You're part of me. My heart it's yours. I was already in love with you. I couldn't turn away from you."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

**It worked fine on her. Why did Bella have to be so difficult?**

"**I'll go get you some ice for your forehead, dear," the nurse said, slightly uncomfortable from looking into my eyes – the way a human **_**should **_**be – and left the room. **

"**You were right," Bella moaned, closing her eyes.**

**What did she mean? I jumped to the worst conclusion: she'd accepted my warnings. **

"**I usually am," I said trying to keep the amusement in my voice, it sounded sour now. "But about what in particular this time?"**

"**Ditching is healthy," she sighed.**

**Ah, relief again.**

**She was silent then. She just breathed slowly in and out. Her lips were beginning to turn pink. Her mouth was slightly out of balance, her lower lip just a little too full to match the top. Staring at her mouth made me feel strange. Made me want to move closer to her, which was not a good idea.**

"**You scared me for a minute there," I said – to restart the conversation so that I could hear her voice again. "I thought Newton was dragging your dead body off to bury in the woods."**

"**Ha, ha," she said. **

"**Honestly – I've seen corpses with better colour." This was actually true. "I was concerned that I might have to avenge your murder." And I would have.**

"I have no doubt in my mind that would. I can still remember the way you threw yourself at James. I was so scared I was going to lose you then, and then with Victoria."

"You've done the same for me. Remember Volterra."

"Mm, And I'd do it all over again in a heartbeat."

"I know you would."

"Forever."

"**Poor Mike," she sighed. "I'll bet he's mad." **

**Fury pulsed through me, but I continued it quickly. Her concern was surely just pity. She was kind. That was all. **

"**He absolutely loathes me," I told her, cheered by that idea.**

"**You can't know that."**

"**I saw his face – I could tell." **

**It was probably true that reading his face would have given me enough information to make that particular deduction. All this practice with Bella was sharpening my skill at reading human expressions.**

"**How did you see me?" I thought you were ditching." Her face looked better – the green undertone had vanished from her translucent skin. **

"**I was in my car, listening to a CD," **

"Such a normal thing to do. It did catch me off guard."

"I could tell."

"But when I heard Clair De Lune my heart skipped a beat. To know we liked the same music, it filled me with hope."

"That's how I felt."

"Can we go to the meadow after we finish this chapter please?"

"Of course we can."

"It's been ages since we've been there."

"The night we got engaged."

"See it's been a long time."

"We'll go there again before we move I promise."

"Alright."

**Her expression twitched, like my very ordinary answer had surprised her somehow. She opened her eyes again when Mrs Hammond returned with an icepack. **

"**Here you go, dear," the nurse said as she laid it across Bella's forehead. "You're looking better."**

"**I think I'm fine," Bella said, and she sat up while pulling the icepack away. Of course. She didn't like to be taken care of.**

**Mrs Hammond's wrinkled hands fluttered toward the girl, as if she was going to push her back down, but just then Ms Cope opened the door to her office and leaned in. With her appearance came the smell of fresh blood, just a whiff. Invisible in the office behind her, Mike Newton was still very angry, wishing the heavy boy he dragged now was the girl who was here with me.**

"Ugh I already feel sick. Now I have to hear that. Was it me, did I do something to lead them on?"

"No you didn't Bella, the thing you need to know about Mike Newton and those guys, they think they can get any girl they want; just the same way as Jessica believed she could tear you and Edward apart. It wasn't until you and Edward revealed your pregnancy at the party the other night that Lauren and Jessica truly moved on, and Mike and Tyler, they finally realised that your marriage was real and you were not going to break up again."

"Seriously, Edward and I have been together two years and married eight weeks, they are seriously deluded."

"Yes they are, but you're a Cullen now, they can't deny it."

"Good because I'm not for sale."

"Mine!"

"Yes yours."

"Aww."

"**We've got another one," Ms Cope said. **

**Bella quickly jumped down from the cot, eager to be out of the spotlight. **

"**Here," she said, handing the compress back to Mrs Hammond. "I don't need this?"**

**Mike grunted as he half-shoved Lee Stevens through the door. Blood was still dripping down the hand Lee held to his face, trickling toward his wrist.**

"**Oh no." This was my cue to leave – and Bella's too, it seemed. "Get out to the office Bella."**

**She whirled and caught the door before it had swung shit rushing through to the office. I followed a few inches behind her. Her swinging hair brushed my hand… She turned to look at me, still wide eyed.**

"**You actually listened to me." That was a first. **

**Her small nose wrinkled. "I smelled the blood."**

Glancing around the room, I smiled as I noticed six completely stunned vampires, I couldn't stop the giggle from leaving my mouth, and I guessed Edward hadn't told everyone what had happened that day after all. Resting my hand over my stomach I blushed ten shades of red as they continued to stare at me. I should have known this would be a shock to them, my only hope was Carlisle didn't feel the need to experiment on me. We all knew his thirst for knowledge.

"Excuse me."

"Whoa!"

"Dude."

"Bella, humans can't smell blood."

"I can that's what makes me sick. Or I guess used to since I'm drinking it now."

"You were definitely born to be a vampire."

"Thanks I think."

"Let's continue shall we?"

"Hell yeah, it's just getting interesting."

**I stared at her in blank surprise. "People can't smell blood."**

"**Well I can – that's what makes me sick. It smells like rust…and salt."**

**My face froze, still staring. **

**Was she really even human. She **_**looked **_**human. She felt soft as a human. She smelled human – well better actually. She acted human…sort of. But she didn't think like a human, or respond like one.**

"Is that meant to be a compliment or an insult Mr Cullen?"

"Well Mrs Cullen you certainly confused me, your reactions were never what I thought they would be. I couldn't read your thoughts to get a basis on what you were really thinking. Only vampires can smell blood."

"I think we have already established I'm not your normal human."

"Maybe not, but I wouldn't change anything about you."

"I'd change one thing about me."

"Oh?"

"The scar from James. I wish it was gone."

"I'm sorry, love."

"It's okay. I know it's not going anywhere."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

**What other option was there, though?**

"**What?" she demanded.**

"**It's nothing." **

**Mike newton interrupted us then, entering the room with resentful, violent thoughts. **

"_**You **_**look better," he said to her rudely. **

**My hand twitched, wanting to teach him some manners. I would have to watch myself, or I would end up actually killing this obnoxious boy.**

"**Just keep your hand in your pocket," she said. For one wild second, I thought she was talking to me.**

"I was, but you know what Mike's like, he thought I was talking to him."

"See what I mean, once again you've amazed me."

"I just know you, I'm not the only one who's got a temper when they're angry only difference is you could cause broken bones."

"I know, I know. And trust me if you hadn't been standing next to me I don't think I would have been able to stop myself."

"Just as well I was there then isn't it."

"Mm."

"**It's not bleeding anymore," he answered sullenly. "Are you going back to class?"**

"**Are you kidding? I'd just have to turn around and come back."**

**That was very good. I'd thought I was going to have to miss this whole hour with her, and now I got extra time instead. I felt greedy, a miser hording over each minute.**

"**Yeah, I guess…" Mike mumbled. "So are you going this weekend? To the beach?"**

"You were jealous?"

"Of course I was, you were going out with Newton, even if it wasn't a date."

"Silly husband, it was a group trip and the only good part about it was finding out what you were from Jake, Lauren was there so it wasn't exactly fun for me. Plus you were on my mind, I told you I worried about you that weekend."

"You really were miserable?"

"I missed you. It hurt being away from you. Next time we go to the beach it will be just the two of us."

"Sounds good to me."

**Ah, they had plans. Anger froze me in place. It was a group trip though I'd seen some of this in other students' heads. It wasn't just the two of them. I was still furious. I leaned motionless against the counter trying to control myself. **

"**Sure, I said I was in," she promised him.**

**So she'd said yes to him, too. The jealousy burned, more painful than thirst. No it was just a group outing. I tried to convince myself. She was just spending the day with friends. Nothing more.**

"If I knew you felt this upset about it, I'd never have gone."

"What do you mean?"

"No trip to the beach is worth you being upset. It's just not worth it."

"I suddenly can't wait to hear your thoughts."

"I had a feeling you'd say that."

"Dude, read!"

"Shut up Emmett."

"**We're meeting at my dad's store, at ten." **_**And Cullen's NOT invited.**_

"I am starting to hate him."

"I can see why. Edward why didn't you say anything about this to Bella?"

"I didn't want to upset her, she thought he was her friend."

"Some friend, all he wanted was to use me as a tool to wind you up. That's not a friend."

"Go, Bella."

"Thanks Rose."

"Any time little sister."

"**I'll be there," she said.**

"**I'll see you in Gym, then."**

"**See you," she replied.**

**He shuffled off to his class, this thoughts full of ire. **_**What does she see in that freak? Sure, he's rich, I guess. Chicks think he's hot, but I don't see that. Too…too perfect. I bet his dad experiments with plastic surgery on all of them. That's why they're all so white and pretty**_**. **_**It's not natural. And he's sort of… scary looking. Sometimes, when he stares at me, I'd swear he's thinking about killing me… Freak…**_

"How about because he's kind, gentle, honest, selfless, he loves his family more than his own life. Oh and did I mention handsome and gorgeous and beautiful."

"Why thank you love. But you do know you're talking to a book."

"Oh I know, I'll be telling Mike though, I just need to figure out a way to let him know I know without revealing the books."

"I'm sure we can come up with something."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Awesome. He's going to freak. Maybe we can go camping?"

"When you're pregnant?"

"Well not in a tent obviously, I have an idea but it would mean going to see Jake. Is that okay?"

"It's fine, sweetheart."

"Let's get this chapter done with."

"Yes let's."

**Mike wasn't entirely unperceptive.**

"**Gym," Bella repeated quietly. A groan.**

**I looked at her, and saw that she was sad about something again. I wasn't sure why, but it was clear she didn't want to go to her next class with Mike, and I was all for that plan. I went to her side and bent down close to her face, feeling the warmth of her skin radiating out to my lips. I didn't dare breath. **

"**I can take care of that," I murmured. "Go sit and look pale."**

**She did as I asked, sitting in one of the folding chairs and leaning her head back against the wall, while, behind me Ms Cope came out of the back room and went to her desk. With her eyes closed, Bella looked as if she'd passed out again. Her full colour hadn't returned yet. I turned to the secretary. Hopefully Bella was paying attention to this, I thought sardonically. This was how a human was **_**supposed **_**to respond. **

"You two are completely useless. If you'd just talked to each other you could have gotten together so much sooner."

"Yes, Alice we know."

"Sorry to point out the obvious."

"Alice, as much as I wish Edward and I had been together sooner, I understand why he was hesitant, so much more than I did before."

"I know, I didn't mean to sound rude."

"You didn't, I'm just a little irritable."

"I can tell. Eddie read."

"Don't call me Eddie."

"Sorry."

"You're forgiven."

"**Ms Cope?" I asked, using my persuasive voice again.**

**Her eyelashes fluttered, and her heart sped up. **_**Too young, get a hold of yourself!**_

"**Yes?"**

**That was interesting. When Shelly Cope's pulse quickened it was because she found me physically attractive, not because she was frightened. I was used to that around human females…yet I hadn't considered the explanation behind Bella's racing heart. I rather liked that. Too much, in fact I smiled and Mrs Cope's breathing got louder.**

"You have that effect on me every single day."

"I know, it's wonderful knowing that I can do that to you with just one smile."

"Um…do I um… dazzle you?"

"Frequently."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously, it used to drive Jasper nuts."

"Wow."

"Surprised?"

"Mm hm. But happy."

"Good to know, love."

"**Bella has gym next hour, and I don't think she feels well enough. Actually I was thinking I should take her home now. Do you think you could excuse her from class?" I stared into her depthless eyes, enjoying the havoc that this wreaked on her thought processes. Was it possible that Bella…? **

**Mrs Cope had to swallow loudly before she answered. "Do you need to be excused, too, Edward?"**

"**No, I have Mrs Goff, she won't mind."**

**I wasn't paying much attention to her now. I was exploring this new possibility. Hmm. I'd like to believe that Bella found me attractive like other humans did, but when did Bella ever have the same reaction as other humans? I shouldn't get my hopes up.**

"Silly husband. You had me from day one. I'm actually wanting you to hear my thoughts now just so you'll finally believe that I was never going anywhere."

"I was scared of letting you in."

"I know, I felt the same way, the day we went to the meadow, it finally gave me the courage to open up to you."

"Oh, Bella. I love you so very much."

"I love you too. Always have, always will."

"**Okay, it's taken care of. You feel better."**

**Bella nodded weakly – overacting a bit.**

"**Can you walk, or do you want me to carry you again?" I asked, amused by her poor theatrics. I knew she would want to walk – she wouldn't want to be weak.**

"**I'll walk," she said.**

**Right again. I was getting better at this. She got up, hesitating for a moment as if to check her balance. I held the door for her, and we walked out into the rain. I watched her as she lifted her face to the light rain with her eyes closed, a slight smile on her lips. **_**What was she thinking? **_**Something about this action seemed off, and I quickly realised why the posture looked unfamiliar to me. Normal human girls wouldn't raise their faces to the drizzle that way; normal human girls usually wore makeup, even here in this wet place.**

"I think we all know how different I am from other girls, I actually have a brain."

"That, my love is very true. Especially the girls in this town."

"Apart from Angela, I wish there was a way for me to keep Ang and Ben in my life."

"There might be, but I'd have to talk to a colleague of mine."

"You lost me."

"He owns a cosmetics company, however he's also a vampire."

"And you think he could help us?"

"I do. Hair extensions make up that sort of thing."

"To make you look more human."

"Exactly."

"I've been thinking of a hair colour change for a while, I've just been putting it off."

"Why is that, love?"

"I didn't know if you'd like it."

"What colour?"

"I was thinking a few shades lighter. Maybe put some blonde highlights in."

"I think I'd like that a lot."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Yay!"

"Ali can you do it for me?"

"Of course."

"Alright can we get back to the book now?"

"Mm hm."

**Bella never wore makeup, nor should she. The cosmetics industry made billions of dollars a year from women who were trying to attain skin like hers.**

"**Thanks," she said, smiling at me now. "It's worth getting sick to miss Gym." **

**I stared across the campus, wondering how to prolong my time with her.**

"**Any time," I said.**

"**So are you going? This Saturday, I mean?" She sounded hopeful. Ah, her hope was soothing. She wanted me with her, not Mike Newton. And I wanted to say yes. But there were many things to consider. For one, the sun would be shining this Saturday…**

"**Where are you all going, exactly?" I tried to keep my voice nonchalant as if it didn't matter much. Mike had said **_**beach **_**though. Not much chance of avoiding sunlight there.**

"**Down to LaPush, to First Beach."**

_**Damn**_**. Well, it was impossible then.**

With my head rested against Edward's chest I could feel my eyes getting heavy, knowing it wouldn't be long until I was asleep. Taking a deep breath I gave up trying to stay awake, as much as I wanted to hear Edward's thoughts, I knew I would get to see more of them at a later date when he allowed me to read his journals. His voice started to fade into the background as I began to lose myself to sleep letting out a content sigh.

**EPOV**

I knew Bella was losing the battle to stay awake it had been an eventful day, it made me worry less that she was listening to her body's needs rather than ignoring them like she was known for doing. Holding Bella close in my arms, I smiled as Esme stood up coming back a few minutes later with a blanket covering us both with it. Leaning down I placed a small kiss on her forehead smiling as she snuggled closer to me wrapping her arm around my stomach.

"Would you like me to take over reading Edward?"

"Yes, please Esme. I wondered how long it would be until she fell asleep."

"It's been a busy day for her, and we were up late last night,"

"That's true."

Handing the book to Esme, I wrapped both arms around my Bella inhaling her sweet scent as I swung my legs up onto the couch making sure I was in a comfortable position, knowing my posture would help Bella's comfort. Once I had gotten settled down again, I nodded for Esme to start reading again.

**Anyway, Emmett would be irritated if I cancelled our plans.**

_Sure would. _

"If it hadn't been LaPush then I would have cancelled."

"Oh burn."

"Dude!"

"Would you keep your voice down?"

"Sorry."

"You should be."

"Boys, let your mother read."

"Sorry Mom."

"It's okay."

**I glanced down at her, smiling wryly. "I really don't think I was invited."**

**She sighed, already resigned. "I just invited you." **

"**Let's you and I not push poor Mike any further this week. We don't want him to snap." I thought about snapping **_**poor Mike **_**myself, and enjoyed the mental picture instantly.**

"Well it's a good job that you didn't son."

"I know, and I wouldn't have done that to Bella."

"You two truly are made for each other."

"I know."

"**Mike-schmike," she said, dismissive again. I smiled widely. And then she started to walk away from me. Without thinking about my action, I reached out and caught her by the back of her rain jacket. She jerked to a stop.**

"Edward that was rude."

"I know and I've already apologised for it."

"Good."

"**Where do you think you're going?" I was almost angry that she was leaving me. I hadn't had enough time with her. She couldn't go, not yet. **

"**I'm going home," she said, baffled as to why she should upset me.**

"**Didn't you hear me promise to take you safely home? Do you think I'm going to let you drive in your condition?" I knew she wouldn't like **_**that **_**– my implication of weakness on her part. But I needed to practice for the Seattle trip, anyway. See if I could handle her proximity in an enclosed space. This was a much short journey.**

"Why didn't you just tell her that I'm sure she would have understood?"

"I don't know. I guess I was fearful of her rejection as much as she feared mine."

"You could have just asked me what would happen."

"I know Alice and I should have trusted you more."

"I understand why you fought it, especially now we have these books."

"I think we all understand more."

"Thank you Rose."

"No need to thank me. I just hope that I can make up for my behaviour when I finally hear Bella's thoughts."

"I'm sure you will."

"**What condition?" she demanded. "And what about my truck?"**

"**I'll have Alice drop it off after school." I pulled her back to my car carefully, as I now knew that walking **_**forward **_**was challenging enough for her.**

"**Let go!" she said, twisting sideways and nearly tripping. I held one hand out to catch her, but she righted herself before it was necessary. I shouldn't be looking for excuses to touch her. That started me thinking about Mrs Cope's reaction to me, but I filed it away for later. There was much to be considered on that front. **

"I'm so glad that we've graduated now. Hearing her thoughts was not pleasant."

"I can imagine. I bet Bella didn't like it either."

"I never asked, but knowing Bella I'd say she wouldn't."

"Just like you hated Newton ogling her."

"Exactly."

**I let her go beside the car, and she stumbled into the door. I would have to be even more careful, to take into account her poor balance…**

"**You are so **_**pushy**_**!"**

"**It's open."**

**I got in my side and started the car. She held her body rigidly, still outside, though the rain had picked up and I knew she didn't like the cold and wet. Water was soaking through her thick hair, darkening it to near black.**

"**I'm perfectly capable of driving myself home!"**

**Of course she was – I just wasn't capable of letting her go. **

"Aww that's so sweet." Alice and Rosalie cooed.

"Dude, could you be any more obvious I'm amazed Bella didn't realise."

"Not everyone needs to be so loud to get their point across Emmett."

"Emmett do me a favour."

"What is it Rosie?"

"Be quiet, we want Bella to be well rested right."

"Of course."

"Then if you need to comment, keep your voice down."

"Alright alright jeez."

**I rolled down her window and leaned toward her. "Get in Bella."**

**Her eyes narrowed, and I guessed that she was debating whether or not to make a run for it. **

"**I'll just drag you back," I promised, enjoying the chagrin on her face when she realised I meant it.**

**Her chin stiffly in the air, she opened her door and climbed in. Her hair dripped on the leather and her boots squeaked against each other.**

"It's a good job Bella is so forgiving; I thought I taught you better than that."

"Sorry Mom."

"You're forgiven."

"In my defence, having her in the car for that short journey did help immensely."

"I could have told you that."

"I know you could Alice but you know sometimes it's nice to be surprised."

"I can't possibly understand why."

"One day soon, we will manage to surprise you."

"Good luck with that."

"**This is completely unnecessary," she said coldly. **

**I thought she looked embarrassed under the pique. I just turned up the heater so she wouldn't be uncomfortable, and set the music to a nice background level. I drove out toward the exit, watching her from the corner of my eye. Her lower lip was jutting out stubbornly. I stared at this, examining how it made me feel…thinking of the secretary's reaction again. **

**Suddenly she looked at the stereo and smiled, her eyes widening. "Clair de Lune?" she asked.**

**A fan of classics? "You know Debussy?"**

"I love it; Edward is never taken off guard."

"Yeah well, I can't hear her thoughts, well back then anyways. It thrilled me that she liked the same music as me."

"I can tell. When you picked us up that night you couldn't stop smiling."

"She gives me a reason to."

"We know, son."

"Sorry mom, please continue."

"**Not well," she said. "My mother plays a lot of classical music around the house – I only know my favourites." **

"**It's one of my favourites, too." I stared at the rain, considering that. I actually had something in common with the girl. I'd begin to think we were opposite in every way. **

**She seemed more relaxed now, staring at the rain like me, with unseeing eyes. I used her momentary distraction to experiment with breathing. I inhaled carefully through my nose. Potent. I clutched the steering wheel tighter. The rain made her smell better. I wouldn't have thought that was possible. Stupidly, I was suddenly imagining how she would taste.**

"That probably wasn't the best idea."

"Not really, but it did help me with my control."

"How so?"

"Because I didn't hurt her. Venom flooded my mouth and I managed to control myself."

"I see your point now."

"I still shouldn't have pushed myself though."

"Maybe not but it all turned out alright in the end, son."

"I know. She completes me and now our baby."

"You're very lucky."

"I know."

**I tried to swallow against the burn in my throat, to think of something else. **

"**What is your mother like?" I asked as a distraction.**

**Bella smiled. "She looks a lot like me, but she's prettier.**

**I doubted that.**

_You would._

"Shut up Emmett."

"Sorry."

"It's okay; I just don't want anyone to wake Bella up."

"I know. It's just nice to finally understand why you were so protective."

"If this had been Rose you'd be the same way, or Jazz you with Alice."

"That's true."

"I've only ever wanted what's best for her."

"You are what's best for her."

"I know. I learned the hard way."

"You're mated now that's all that matters."

"I wouldn't change anything."

"**I have too much Charlie in me," she went on. "She's more outgoing than I am, and braver."**

**I doubted that, too.**

"**She's irresponsible and slightly eccentric, and she's a very unpredictable cook. She's my best friend. Her voice had turned melancholy; her forehead creased.**

**Again she sounded more like parent than child.**

**I stopped in front of her house, wondering too late if I was supposed to know where she lived. No, this wouldn't be suspicious in such a small town, with her father a public figure.**

_Keep telling yourself that brother dear._

I couldn't help but smile at Rose, my self cantered sister finally seemed to be realising what the rest of my family had known for years, Bella was pure goodness and would never put our family in danger. Of course I wasn't stupid enough to not realise that Bella's pregnancy also had a lot to do with it, but whatever the reason all that mattered to me was she was willing to try.

"**Hold old are you Bella?" She must be older than her peers. Perhaps she'd been late to start school, or been held back. That wasn't likely, though.**

"**I'm seventeen," she answered.**

"**You don't seem seventeen."**

**She laughed.**

"**What?"**

"**My mom always says I was born thirty five years old and that I get more middle aged every year." She laughed again, and then sighed. "Well, someone has to be the adult."**

"I'm glad I'm able to look after her the way she deserves to."

"So am I mom, Bella misses Renee, but it's safer if she doesn't come back to Forks."

"Maybe there is a way around it; if I contact my colleague then we can keep Renee in Bella's life."

"Really?"

"Mm."

"I'll talk to Bella about it when she wakes up."

"Are we ready to read again?"

"Yes, sorry Mom."

"It's okay."

**This clarified things for me. I could see it now…how the irresponsible mother helped explain Bella's maturity. She'd had to grow up early, to become the caretaker. That's why she didn't like being cared for – she felt it was her job. **

"**You don't seem much like a junior in high school yourself," she said, pulling me from my reverie.**

**I grimaced. For everything I perceived about her, she perceived too much in return. I changed the subject.**

"**Do you approve?" I wondered.**

"**Does it matter?" she asked. "I want her to be happy…and he is who she wants."**

_So selfless. I've been horrible._

"Rose, you didn't know, you can't keep blaming yourself."

"I just don't see how she can be so forgiving after everything."

"She's always wanted your approval. Remember Bella is an only child and her parents split up when she was just a baby, she's always deep down wanted the security of siblings then when she finally does meet you, you rejected her, but I think the whole trip to Italy and you being brave enough to tell her your story, it helped you bond with Bella. And then…"

"The mutt."

"Jake, yes, you need to accept him for Bella's sake, the boy has changed."

"I'll behave, but only for Bella."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

**The unselfishness of her comment would have shocked me, except that it fit in all too well with what I'd learned of her character. **

"**That's very generous…I wonder."**

"**What?"**

"**Would she extend the same courtesy to you, do you think? No matter who your choice was?"**

"Why did you ask that?"

"You'll see, I'm sure it'll tell you."

"Alright."

**It was a foolish question, and I could not keep my voice casual while I asked it. How stupid to even consider someone approving of **_**me **_**for their daughter. How stupid to even think of Bella choosing me.**

_Mom accepts you just as much as I do._

"Bella?"

"She's still asleep Edward."

"I just heard her thoughts, maybe her shield is down whilst she is vulnerable."

"It's definitely something to think about."

"**I-I think so," she stuttered, reacting in some way to my gaze. Fear…or attraction?**

"**But she's the parent, after all. It's a little bit different," she finished. **

**I smiled wryly. "No one too scary then."**

**She grinned at me. "What do you mean by scary? Multiple facial piercings and extensive tattoos?"**

_Ha, she really does have a sense of humour._

"**That's one definition, I suppose." A very nonthreatening definition, to my mind.**

"**What's your definition?" **

**She always asked the wrong questions. Or exactly the right questions, maybe. The ones I didn't want to answer, at any rate.**

"**Do you think that **_**I **_**could be scary?" I asked her, trying to smile a little.**

**She thought it through before answering me in a serious voice. "Hmm…I think you **_**could **_**be, if you wanted to."**

_She knows you better than you know yourself son, I promise to do everything I can in order to make sure you and Bella can have another child._

"Thanks Dad."

_Your welcome._

"Huh? What did we miss?"

"None of your business."

**I was serious too. "Are you frightened of me now?"**

**She answered at once, not thinking this through. "No."**

**I smiled more easily. I did not think she was entirely telling the truth, but nor was she truly lying. She wasn't frightened enough to want to leave, at least. I wondered how she would feel if I told her she was having this discussion with a vampire. I cringed internally at her imagined reaction.**

"**So, now are you going to tell me about your family? It's got to be a much more interesting story than mine." **

**A more frightened one, at least. **

"**What do you want to know?" I asked cautiously.**

"**The Cullens adopted you?"**

"**Yes." **

_I've always wondered what you talked about. Seems like we're going to find out._

"Just be considerate, especially when we get to Bella's thoughts."

"_Edward what do you think I'm going to do. I can feel her emotions remember. It's Emmett you got to worry about._

"That's true."

"What's true?"

"That you're good at embarrassing us."

"Oh."

**She hesitated, then spoke in a small voice. "What happened to your parents?"**

**This wasn't so hard, I didn't even have to lie to her. "They died a very long time ago."**

"**I'm sorry," she mumbled, clearly worried about having hurt me.**

_**She **_**was worried about **_**me.**_

"Mm, Edward, so good."

"What the-?"

"Is she still asleep?"

"Mm hm, I was wondering if this would happen."

"She sleeptalks?"

"Every night without fail. I love hearing her."

"I bet you do."

"Love you Edward."

"Eww Gross, first time we get to hear her when she is asleep and she's having one of those dreams."

"Shut up Emmett."

Wrapping my arms around Bella's waist I rubbed her stomach gently feeling our baby fluttering underneath her skin, unable to resist I kissed her forehead again brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes, letting her know I was still there, I knew she always slept better when in my arms. The only difference is that it wasn't usually in front of our family. Once she'd settled down again I smiled nodding for Esme to continue.

"**I don't really remember them that clearly," I assured her. "Carlisle and Esme have been my parents for a long time now."**

"**And you love them," she deducted.**

**I smiled. "Yes. I couldn't imagine two better people." **

"**You're very lucky."**

"**I know I am." In that one circumstance, the matter of parents, my luck could not be denied. **

"**And your brother and sisters?"**

**If I let her push for too many details, I would have to lie. I glanced at the clock, disheartened that my time with her was up.**

"**My brother and sister, and Jasper and Rosalie for that matter, are you going to be quite upset if they have to stand in the rain for me."**

"**Oh, sorry, I guess you have to go."**

_Bet she didn't like that._

"Not really. We were both reluctant to leave."

_I can see why. _

"I really should have spoken to her sooner, but everything worked out well in the end."

_You are going to be a wonderful father._

"Thank you Dad."

**She didn't move. She didn't want our time to be up either. I liked that very, very much.**

"**And you probably want your truck back before Chief Swan gets home, so you don't have to tell him about the Biology incident." I grinned at the memory of her embarrassment in my arms.**

"**I'm sure he's already heard. There are no secrets in Forks." She said the name of the town with distinct distaste.**

**I laughed at her words. No secrets indeed. "Have fun at the beach." I glanced at the pouring rain, knowing it would not last, and wishing more strongly than usual that it could. "Good weather for sunbathing." Well it would be by Saturday. She would enjoy that.**

"**Won't I see you tomorrow?"**

**The worry in her tone pleased me.**

"It pleased me then, but once I heard that she worried about me and became anxious I wanted to kick myself."

"It's natural for her to miss you Edward. She's your mate."

"I know that now."

"How long do you think she'll be asleep?"

"I'm not sure. I'm hoping until the morning, it's been a long morning for us."

"True. And hearing your thoughts has to be emotional for her."

"Mm."

"**No. Emmett and I are starting the weekend early." I was mad at myself now for having made the plans. I could break them…but there was no such thing as too much hunting at this point, and my family was going to be concerned enough about my behaviour without me revealing how obsessive I was turning. **

"**What are you going to do?" she asked not sounding happy with my revelation.**

**Good.**

"**We're going to be hiking in Goat Rocks Wilderness, just south of Rainier." Emmett was eager for bear season.**

"**Oh, well, have fun," she said half-heartedly.** **Her lack of enthusiasm pleased me again. As I stared at her, I began to feel almost agonised at the thought of saying even a temporary goodbye. She was just so soft and vulnerable. It seemed foolhardy to let her out of my sight, where anything could happen to her. And yet, the worst things that could happen to her would result from being with me.**

"You two really did miss each other. I often had visions of her when she was missing you."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I didn't want you to think I'd been snooping."

"Alright I can see how it would have looked."

"Mm, and I didn't want to embarrass you."

"Well thank you."

"No need I'd do it any time for you and Bella."

"**Will you do something for me this weekend?" I asked seriously.**

**She nodded, her eyes wide and bewildered by my intensity.**

**Keep it light.**

"**Don't be offended, but you seem to be one of those people who just attract accidents like a magnet. So…try not to fall into the ocean or get run over or anything, all right?"**

**I smiled ruefully at her, hoping she couldn't see the sadness in my eyes. How much I wished that she wasn't so much better off away from me, no matter what might happen to her there.**

_**Run, Bella run. I love you too much, for your good or mine.**_

_Idiot_

"I know, I know. First love emotions are confusing."

"Edward, please stay."

"Ssh, Bella, love I'm here."

_How long has she been having these dreams?_

"She hasn't had one in a while."

_Ask her when she wakes. We don't need her stressed._

"I will."

**She was offended by my teasing. She glared at me. "I'll see what I can do," she snapped, jumping out into the rain and slamming the door as hard as she could behind her. Just like an angry kitten that believes it's a tiger. I curled my hand around the key I'd just picked from her jacket pocket, and smiled as I drove away.**

"That's the end of the chapter."

"I should get Bella to bed."

"Alright, we can read again tomorrow."

Standing up slowly, I walked at human pace toward our bedroom, the last thing I wanted to do was wake Bella up. Once we were safely in our bedroom on the third floor I laid her on the bed underneath the covers pulling off the sweatshirt and sweats she had on replacing them with one of my oversized t shirts after taking her panties off dropping them on the pile of clothes, slowly unclipping her bra sliding it onto the pule on the floor. Pulling my own clothes off I slid on a pair of silk boxers before getting underneath the covers wrapping my arms around Bella once again relaxing as Bella rested her head against my chest. Kissing her forehead I started to hum her lullaby hoping she would be able to sleep through until morning. She would have a busy day tomorrow.


	12. Meeting The Pack

**Title:** Receiving The Books – The Cullens Read Midnight Sun

**Author:** Bella Katelyn

**Rating:** M

**Summary:** On their arrival home from their honeymoon, Bella and Edward find out that five books have been delivered to the Cullen house. Four from the past and one of the future. Follow my story as they sit down to read. How will Bella react when she hears Edward's thoughts for the first time? How will Edward react when he realises Bella's feelings for him mirrored his own?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to author Stephanie Meyer, and are brought to the fandom by Summit Entertainment. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours. With that said I hope you enjoy this story as much as I'm going to enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

**Meeting The Pack**

**BPOV**

I couldn't remember the last time I had woken up confused, however when I opened my eyes from my nap I frowned not understanding how I'd ended up in bed, the last thing I remembered was falling asleep on Edward's lap as we read the books. The light coming in from the open window was blinding as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes. A low chuckle brought my attention away from the window and back to my angel. How had I not noticed him sooner? Before I could even say his name I was back in his arms, snuggled into his chest.

"How did I get up here?"

"We finished that chapter whilst you slept. I brought you up here afterward."

"Oh, that makes sense."

"You're cute when you're confused."

"I've heard that one before. I um…was thinking before I fell asleep."

"Oh what were you thinking about?"

"I think it's time we told the rest of the pack about my pregnancy, with Sam and now Jake knowing, it won't be long before they find out and I'd rather it came from us."

"I called Billy after getting you comfortable in bed last night; he's agreed to let me cross the boundary line to be with you."

"Wow, that's one thing I wasn't expecting."

"I think you going down there and explaining our relationship to him helped, and not to mention Jacob finally letting go."

"Can you get me the royal blue maternity dress out for me whilst I shower?"

"Of course I can. I love you."

"Love you too."

Sliding out of bed, I grabbed the soft towel making my way into the en-suite bathroom, turning on the hot water letting it run a few minutes while I undressed catching my reflection in the mirror. Letting out a small gasp I smiled as I lay my hand against my belly, Carlisle had been right when he said my pregnancy would be different, but thankfully after measuring my stomach again, he'd realised that it would likely last 8 months instead of his first observation. I knew Edward was pleased by this news. Rubbing my stomach gently I stepped into the shower, letting the hot water untighten my muscles. After thoroughly washing my hair and body I stepped slowly out of the shower, drying off quickly wrapping the towel around my waist, blow drying my hair until it was bone dry I tied it into a high ponytail. Satisfied with my look, I brushed my teeth, thoroughly, before making my way back into the bedroom. Edward of course was waiting for me, underwear and dress in his hand. Walking slowly toward him I took hold of my clothes, dropping the towel getting dressed quickly.

"Mm, that colour looks absolutely stunning on you sweetheart."

"Alice told me that you loved the colour blue on me. And it doesn't hide my stomach which I love."

"Are you hungry?"

"Mm,"

"What would you like?"

"Not sure, for the first time since we arrived home I don't feel sick. I don't want to jinx it."

"How about you eat at Billy's?"

"I like that idea. Emily does most of the cooking."

"Alright then, if you're ready to go."

"I am."

Wrapping my arm around Edward's waist I couldn't keep the smile off my face as we walked downstairs together, although the look on Alice's face had me a little nervous, the little pixie had the pout placed on her face and I knew once again she was going to try and get her way by manipulating me. I knew everyone was enjoying reading the books, but they had to understand since these books were in our point of view we needed a breather from them. Crossing my arms I growled under my breath feeling completely frustrated with Alice's constant need for attention, I knew I was being unreasonable but I was pregnant, hormonal and needed my own space. Edward obviously hearing my thoughts stood in front of me glaring at his sister.

"Whatever you're going to say Alice, the answer is no."

"But Edward, you know I can't see you when you go and see those mutts."

"Those mutts have names, and you know how important they are to Bella."

"After everything Jacob did to her and she's going to forgive him just like that."

"Alice!"

"What it's true."

"If that's the way you truly feel Alice then you don't have to be around him, but Edward and I have spoken at length about this, Jacob apologised for his actions that's good enough for me. It hurts that you of all people are behaving this way. I'll make sure not to make that mistake again."

Releasing my hold on Edward's waist I wiped the traitor tears away from my eyes, making my way toward the car, I always knew Alice's inability to see the wolves made her frustrated but this was the first time Alice had ever taken her frustrations out on me. Resting my head against the headrest I sighed closing my eyes just as the driver side door opened and Edward's hand took mine in his rubbing soothing circles on it; I instantly relaxed beneath his feather like touch. Looking into his eyes I smiled.

"I knew they didn't like Jake but I wasn't expecting that."

"Carlisle and Esme are having a good talk with her, by the time we get home she should have calmed down."

"As long as you're alright with me seeing Jake again that's all that matters, I mean you saw his thoughts you out of all of us would have been able to tell if he was lying."

"He was genuine."

"That's what I thought."

I'd been so busy talking, I hadn't even noticed that Edward had started driving; once again Edward had dazzled me. It used to both me that he was able to get his own way so easily but now it was soothing. Ten minutes later we were crossing the boundary line into the LaPush Reservation. I could see Sam and Jake along with Billy in his wheelchair were waiting for us. Once Edward had parked outside Billy's house, he helped me out of the car wrapping his arms protectively around my waist. Sam spoke first.

"I have to say when Billy told us you called I was a little surprised. I thought you said everything you needed to."

"We did, but after talking to Jake whilst we were in Seattle yesterday, I realised that it was time the rest of the pack found out about my pregnancy, the last thing any of us need is for one of them to attack. I'm sure you can understand that."

"I can. Would you like to come to our house, Emily is cooking."

"I'd love to. I think my appetite might rival theirs now."

"I can imagine."

Taking hold of Edward's hand, I led him toward Emily and Sam's house, it wasn't hard to find, just as we turned the corner from Billy's every member of the pack had started to file into their house, I used to wonder how Emily managed it, but once I'd witnessed her cooking for myself, I could see she enjoyed it, she'd make a wonderful mother one day. Taking a deep breath I stepped inside after Jake, staying a little behind Edward unsure of how our news would go down. Paul still had a temper although since finding his imprint in Rachel he'd calmed down a lot.

"What's the _bloodsucker _doing here?"

"Edward is here by invitation. If you want breakfast then I suggest you sit down and stay quiet."

"Bella, sweetheart why do you look so scared."

"I'm just worried about how this lot will take the news, only Sam and Jake know so far, and Billy of course."

"Come have a seat."

Smiling at Emily, I let go of Edward's hand curling up on the couch, relaxing the moment Edward sat next to me bringing his arm around my shoulders. Taking a deep breath I prepared myself to tell the biggest news I think the wolves would ever get. Laying my hand lightly over my growing baby bump, I noticed the wolves' attention was still on the food Emily was making and not on my hand giving away the news before I could open my mouth. As Edward rubbed soothing circles on my back I finally plucked up the courage to tell them our news.

"Well, I'm sure you all know by Jake's thoughts that Edward and I went on honeymoon with the intent on consummating our marriage. Sam and Seth know how upset he was about it at the time, but after talking to him yesterday whilst we were in Seattle I've come to the decision to let you all in on our little surprise. You see after Edward and I made love for the first time, we conceived a child."

"Wait you're pregnant?"

"Mm hm."

"How do we know that it won't attack us when born?"

"Paul could you be more sensitive."

"No Rach it's alright it's a question I expected from him. In answer to your question, we know because this baby is part human/part vampire, she has a strong heartbeat, Carlisle has already done a sonogram and estimated my pregnancy will last eight months opposed to the normal nine month gestation. We only found out three weeks ago that I'm pregnant."

"But you're already showing?"

"That's where the pregnancy differs from say Emily or Kim becoming pregnant, she grows a little faster than a normal baby, yet she's perfectly healthy, I know this is a lot to take in, but I wanted you to know before you heard it from anyone else and tried to hurt me or the baby before finding out the facts."

"We appreciate you telling us Bella."

"I owe you a lot, you helped save our lives."

"Is there something else you'd like to discuss?"

"It can wait."

"Food's ready."

With our news revealed and apart from the one negative comment from Paul I started to relax again, Edward immediately got up to get me something to eat, knowing that now my morning sickness had disappeared I would be eating a lot more than usual. After waiting in a queue that rivalled the lunch line at Forks High, Edward made his way back over to me, handing me the plate of food, it had been a while since I'd enjoyed Emily's cooking and with our baby growing inside me, eating had become a necessity and as usual it didn't take long for me to demolish everything that had been on my place feeling full afterward, looking up from my plate I blushed as all eyes were on me.

"Damn Bella, you weren't kidding when you said you'd give us a run for our money in the eating department."

"I'm eating for two now. Although this is also the first day I haven't woken up feeling sick so that helps."

"Would you like to talk now?"

"Mm, I'm sure you know that we'll have to move soon."

"I was wondering when that would come up."

"We were planning on moving to Hanover in New Hampshire but I'm not ready to say goodbye to Charlie, I don't think I ever will be, so we've decided to move to Seattle instead."

"What does that have to do with us?"

"Well, now that I'm pregnant my need to protect her comes first and I was wondering if it was possible for Edward and I to move onto the reservation for a few months until she's born, we can't have everyone starting to suspect that the Cullens don't age and the house is so close to Forks."

"Bella."

"What is it Billy?"

"I would be honoured if you and Edward moved here; I can see it's taken a lot for you to come here today."

"Really?"

"Really and I think Jake needs to tell you something."

"Oh what is it Jake?"

"I…um…now you understand that I couldn't help it."

"What did you do?"

"I imprinted…on your baby."

"You…you…wow."

"You're not mad?"

"Well I can't say I'm pleased that my daughter is going to have her life mapped out for her but I'm sure we can come up with a compromise. Now I'm glad that we're staying close."

"What about you Edward?"

"Everything certainly makes sense now. The reason why you two were unable to say goodbye."

"It was her all along. I'm the key to his imprint being born."

"Exactly."

"Wow."

"You and Edward are now part of the pack. You'll be welcome here any time?"

"And the rest of our family?"

"As long as they are with either you or Edward, then they can enter the reservation as well."

"Thank you, you have no idea how much this means to me."

"Oh I think I have some idea. Have you told Charlie about the baby yet?"

"Mm hm. We've told our friends from school as well it's just the gossips who don't know but I'm not sure how long that will last in a town this small."

"I'd like to apologise for the way I treated you and Edward when you were first dating."

"It's okay I understand why you were the way you were, all that matters is we came out the other side."

"When would you like to move in, there is a house next door to here that is available?"

"As soon as possible."

"We'll get everything ready for you."

"Thanks Billy, we should get going now, Alice is in one of her moods."

"See you later Bells."

"Oh and Jake."

"Yeah Bells."

"Come see us in a few days we should be finished reading that book I was on about then, we can discuss the imprint with the rest of the family."

"Will do. Bye for now Bells."

"Bye Jake.

Resting my head against Edward's chest I sighed content with everything that had happened, when I contemplated telling the wolves about my pregnancy I had not envisioned it being this good. Once we'd said our goodbyes to everyone Edward helped me into the Volvo making his way at vampire speed toward the drivers' side gracefully entering the car, I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I took hold of his free hand resting it against my stomach. Everything was finally fitting into place. I had my best friend back, the way things should have been all along.

* * *

**Revelations**

Once we arrived home, I feared Alice's reaction to the news that Edward and I would be moving to LaPush, I knew she felt vulnerable without her ability to see around the wolves, but I trusted them and it was about time that she realised that it was time Edward and I had a little privacy, yes we had the cottage and I loved it, but I needed to be closer to Charlie and since he and Sue were living together, the reservation was where I needed to be. Taking a deep breath, I bit my lip, just as Edward stopped the car. Laying his hand against my cheek, I leaned against it feeling comforted.

"If Alice says anything then she'll have to deal with me."

"I don't want her to think that we're abandoning them."

"They'll understand that we need our space. And we will always have our cells on us."

"That's true."

"Come on Mommy, let's go inside."

Nodding slowly, I unclipped my seatbelt, sliding out of the Volvo, taking hold of Edward's hand the moment he flashed to my side. Taking one final deep breath out, I mentally prepared myself for the reaction toward our news, Carlisle and Esme would understand we needed our own space, Emmett and Jazz would miss us, the ones who would take it the hardest would be Alice and Rosalie. Leaning my head against Edward, he opened the front door for me, helping me up the stairs before we entered the living room to six vampires. Curling up on the couch I rested my hand onto my stomach looking into Alice's eyes.

"Before you say it, yes I love you but I need to do this. We need to. Please understand."

"I understand that you need space to be a family but did you really have to choose LaPush."

"Charlie is there, you know how much he means to me, I don't want him to miss out on anything."

"But what about us."

"We have cell phones, call us if you want to see us and we'll be there."

"I'm just going to miss you."

"I'll miss you too Ali, but it's only until we move to Seattle then we'll be together again."

"Alright, I guess I can try and see passed the wolves."

"Rose what are you thinking?"

"If it's what you need then I support you. They're your family as much as we are there is no denying that."

"Just visit us regularly son."

"We will Mom, I promise."

"Now all the excitement is over can we read again."

"Alright, but remember these first few books are hard for us to hear."

"We know."

Rubbing my belly gently, I relaxed knowing that everyone was accepting of our decision to move down to the reservation. Emmett ever the enthusiast already had Midnight Sun in his hands ready to read. There was definitely no getting past it. And the sooner we finished this book, the quicker we could involve the wolves in the reading of the remaining four. Things were definitely going to get interesting in a few weeks' time, and yet I was excited for the wolves to finally understand my marriage. The bond I shared with Edward, my love, my mate, my husband.


	13. Melody

**Title:** Receiving The Books – The Cullens Read Midnight Sun

**Author:** Bella Katelyn

**Rating:** M

**Summary:** On their arrival home from their honeymoon, Bella and Edward find out that five books have been delivered to the Cullen house. Four from the past and one of the future. Follow my story as they sit down to read. How will Bella react when she hears Edward's thoughts for the first time? How will Edward react when he realises Bella's feelings for him mirrored his own?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to author Stephanie Meyer, and are brought to the fandom by Summit Entertainment. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours. With that said I hope you enjoy this story as much as I'm going to enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Melody**

**BPOV**

"Melody," Emmett read aloud.

"Oh, something I don't know finally."

"You're going to like this part aren't you?"

"Mm, of course."

"Can I read now?"

"Sorry Emm."

"It's okay little sister."

**I had to wait when I got back to school. The final hour wasn't out yet. That was good, because I had things to think about and I needed the alone time. Her scent lingered in the car. I kept the windows up, letting it assault me, trying to get used to the feel of intentionally torching my throat. **

**Attraction.**

**It was a problematic thing to contemplate. So many sides to it, so many different meanings and levels. Not the same thing as love, but tied up in it inextricably. I had no idea if Bella was attracted to me. (Would her mental silence somehow continue to get more and more frustrating until I went mad? Or was there a limit that I would eventually reach?)**

"Overthinking everything again I see."

"Don't I always?"

"I think you've gotten better. You've relaxed a lot more."

"Mm well that is good to know."

"Dude, is this the chapter where we went hunting?"

"It sounds like it."

"Damn I was hoping to find out what Bella did at the beach."

"Don't worry big brother, I'm positive that it will be in the first of the books in my view."

"Oh that's okay then. I can start reading again now."

**I tried to compare her physical responses to others, like the secretary and Jessica Stanley, but the comparison was inconclusive. The same markers – changes in heart rate and breathing patterns – could just as easily mean fear or shock or anxiety as they did interest. It seemed unlikely that Bella could be entertaining the same thoughts that Jessica Stanley used to have. After all Bella knew very well that there was something wrong with me, even if she didn't know exactly what it was. She had touched my icy skin and then yanked her hand away from the chill.**

"Silly vampire."

"I know, I know. I'm slow for someone who can read minds."

"You know you could have just asked me if Bella felt the same way."

"Well I didn't think you'd be interested in helping me, after all you didn't approve."

"By this time I knew that you were in love, though."

"It all worked out well in the end."

"And I wouldn't change anything about it."

"Nothing not even…"

"No, because it made us who we are today, we're stronger than ever before and that's definitely a good thing."

"That's true."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

**And yet…as I remembered those fantasies that used to repulse me, but remembered them with Bella in Jessica's place…**

**I was breathing more quickly, the fire clawing up and down my throat. What if it had been **_**Bella **_**imagining me with my arms wrapped around her fragile body? Feeling me pull her tightly against my chest and then cupping my hand under her chin? Brushing the heavy curtain of hair back from her blushing face? Tracing the shape of her full lips with my fingertips? Leaning my face closer to hers, where I could feel the heat of her breath on my mouth? Moving closer still…**

"Mmmm."

"Dude she has it bad."

"Bella?"

"I did imagine all those things. It was all I ever thought about."

"I should have just asked you huh?"

"It would have been better but I understand now why you were so reluctant."

"Thank you."

"No need. I love you; I'd do anything for you."

"As I would for you. I love you too."

**But then I flinched away from the daydream, knowing, as I had when Jessica had these things, what would happen if I got closer to her. Attraction was an impossible dilemma, because I was already too attracted to Bella in the worst way. Did I want Bella to be attracted to me, a woman to a man? That was the wrong question. The right question was **_**should **_**I want Bella to be attracted to me that way and that answer was no. Because I was not a human man, and that wasn't fair to her.**

"How's that choice working out for you?"

"I'm very happy to be proved wrong. My life without you is not worth remembering."

"You're my life Edward, not loving you. Not being with you, I hate it."

"Shh I know sweetheart. I love you."

"Love you too. So much."

**With every fibre of my being, I ached to be a normal man, so I could hold her in my arms without risking her life. So that I could be free to spin my own fantasies, fantasies that didn't end up with her blood on my hands, her blood glowing in my eyes. My pursuit of her was indefensible. What kind of relationship could I offer her, when I couldn't risk touching her? I hunt my head in my hands. It was all the more confusing because I had never felt so human in my whole life – not even when I **_**was **_**human, as far as I could recall. **

"I wish you'd talked to me, I would have understood. You were just as scared as I was, for all your vampire nature you're still only seventeen."

"I wish I had now, I know that I had nothing to fear."

"I never fit in anywhere until I met you. Look at the facts, my husband is a vampire and my best friend is a shape-shifter."

"Good point."

"Do you ever wish that you had been able to turn 18?"

"Sometimes but then I look into your eyes and I thank God that everything turned out the way it did."

Smiling, I made the decision to throw Edward a birthday party on June 20th, everyone deserved to celebrate their birthday even if they couldn't technically age anymore. Looking into Alice's eyes I knew she'd seen my plans, as she was unable to keep the smile off her face, I knew then that our decision to move to LaPush was completely out of her head and instead she was planning Edward's party.

**When I had been human, my thoughts had all been turned to a soldier's glory. The Great War had raged through most of my adolescence, and I'd been only nine months away from my eighteenth birthday when the influenza had struck… I had just vague impressions of those human years, murky memories that faded more with every passing decade. I remembered my mother most clearly, and felt an ancient ache when I thought of her face. I recalled dimly how much she hated the future I'd raced eagerly toward, praying every night when she said grace at dinner that the "horrid war" would end… I had no memories of another kind of yearning. Besides my mother's love, there was no other love than had made me wish to stay…**

"She'd be so proud of you if she could see you now baby."

"Do you really think so?"

"I know so. She did everything in her power to save you, to make sure you lived on and had a happy life."

"I wish I could let her know that I'm happy."

"She knows son."

"I never did thank you for saving me Carlisle."

"I know you are thankful son. You just needed Bella in your life to understand."

"You are a man Edward, you just happen to be a vampire as well."

"You see me so clearly."

"That's because I know you."

"You sure do."

"Read on Emmett."

**This was entirely new to me. I had no parallels to draw, no comparisons to make. The love I felt for Bella had come purely, but now the waters were muddled. I wanted very much to be able to touch her. Did she feel the same way? That didn't matter, I had to convince myself. I stared at my white hands, hating their hardness, their coldness, their inhuman strength.**

_I love those things about you._

"Really?"

_Really._

**I jumped when the passenger door opened.**

_**Ha. Caught you by surprise. There's a first, **_**Emmett thought as he slid into the seat. "I'll bet Mrs Goff thinks you're on drugs you've been so erratic lately. Where were you today? **

"**I was…doing good deeds."**

_**Huh?**_

**I chuckled. "Caring for the sick, that kind of thing."**

**That confused him more, but then he inhaled and caught the scent in the car.**

"**Oh. The girl again?"**

**I grimaced.**

_**This is getting weird.**_

"The girl has a name you know."

"I know, but back then Edward had us all confused."

"I can see why. But you could have been a little bit more sensitive."

"Sorry."

"It's okay just remember that in future."

"Okay."

"**Tell me about it," I mumbled.**

**He inhaled again. "Hmm, she does have quite a flavour doesn't she?"**

**The snarl broke through my lips before his words had even registered all the way, an automatic response.**

"**Easy, kid, I'm just sayin." **

**The others arrived then. Rosalie noticed the scent at once and glowered at me, still not over her irritation. I wondered what her problem was, but all I could hear was insults. I didn't like Jasper's reaction either. Like Emmett, he noticed Bella's appeal. Not that the scent had, for either of them, a thousandth portion of the draw it had for me. I was still upset that her blood was sweet for them. Jasper had poor control.**

"Hey!"

"Sorry, I realise now, keeping you away from Bella at the time only made things worse."

"Don't blame yourself we all thought it was for the best."

"I just wonder had we done something different would the events at her birthday been different."

"You'll drive yourself mad if you keep doing that. It's in the past please let it go."

"Alright, for you."

"Love you."

"Love you too, angel."

**Alice skipped to my side of the car and held her hand out for Bella's truck key.**

"**I only saw that I was," she said – obscurely, as was her habit. "You'll have to tell me the whys."**

"**This doesn't mean -." **

"**I know, I know, I'll wait. It won't be long."**

**I sighed and gave her the key.**

**I followed her to Bella's house. The rain was pounding down like a million hammers, so loud that maybe Bella's human ears couldn't hear the thunder of the truck's engine. I watched her window, but she didn't come to look out. Maybe she wasn't there. There were no thoughts to hear.**

"I was reading, I only noticed the truck was there after I got done with the chapter, I must have just missed you."

"It made me sad."

"I'm sorry."

2It's alright, at least I knew you were safe."

"I'll always be safe when I'm with you."

**It made me sad that I couldn't hear enough to even check on her – to make sure she was happy, or safe, at the very least. Alice climbed in the back and we sped home. The roads were empty, and so it only took a few minutes. We trooped into the house, and then went to our various pastimes. Emmett and Jasper were in the middle of an elaborate game of chess, utilizing eight joined boards – spread out along the glass back wall – and their own complicated set of rules. They wouldn't let me play; only Alice would play games with me anymore.**

"I'll play a game with you if you teach me first."

"I'd like that."

"I had a feeling you'd say that."

**Alice went to her computer just around the corner from them and I could hear her monitors sing to life. Alice was working on a fashion design project for Rosalie's wardrobe, but Rosalie did not join her today, to stand behind her and direct cut and colour as Alice's hand traced over the touch sensitive screens (Carlisle and I had to tweak that system a bit, given that most such screens responded to temperature).**

"Alice?"

"What is it Bella?"

"Well…um…since I've had to wear dresses, I realised how much I like them, so I…um…I'm not so opposed to you buying or even designing some for me anymore. Only if you still want to though."

"Are you serious? Don't tease me,"

"I'm serious. And Edward likes me in dresses, and it's not like they're not going to be stylish."

"No one dressed by me is ever unstylish."

"Exactly, so would you do it?"

"Of course. I'd love to."

"Thanks sis."

"You're welcome."

**Instead, today Rosalie sprawled sullenly on the sofa and started flipping through twenty channels a second on the flat screen, never pausing. I could hear her trying to decide whether or not to go out to the garage and tune her BMW again. Esme was upstairs, humming over a new set of blue prints. Alice leaned her head around the wall after a moment and started mouthing Emmett's next moves – Emmett sat on the floor with his back to her – to Jasper, who kept his expression very smooth as he cut off Emmett's favourite knight.**

"Esme's right, you do cheat."

"Hey we resent that."

"The proof is in the book Alice you have no argument."

"But, but-."

"But nothing."

"Gah."

**And I, for the first time in so long that I felt ashamed, went to sit at the exquisite grand piano station just off the entryway. I ran my hand gently up the scales, testing the pitch. The tuning was still perfect. Upstairs, Esme paused what she was doing and cocked her head to the side. I began the first line of the tune that had suggested itself to me in the car today, pleased that it sounded even better than I imagined.**

"Will you play for me after this chapter?"

"Of course I will, love."

"Maybe you could teach me at the same time."

"That sounds like a wonderful idea."

"Mm."

_**Edward is playing again, **_**Esme thought joyously, a smile breaking across her face. She got up from her desk, and flitted silently to the head of the stairs. I added a harmonising line, letting the central melody weave through it. Esme sighed with contentment, sat down on the top step, and leaned her head against the banister. **_**A new song. It's been so long. What a lovely tune.**_

**I let the melody lead in a new direction, following it with the bass line.**

_**Edward is composing again? **_**Rosalie thought, and her teeth clenched together in fierce resentment. In that moment, she slipped, and I could read all her underlying outrage. I saw why she was in such a poor temper with me. Why killing Isabella Swan had not bothered her conscience at all. With Rosalie, it was always about vanity.**

"I don't see why when you're already beautiful."

"I didn't want you to give up your life. But I see now that you gain everything by being with Edward."

"We need to have that talk; I want to tell you a few things."

"Alright, you can come to my room afterward."

"Okay."

**The music came to an abrupt halt, and I laughed before I could help myself, a sharp bark of amusement that broke off quickly as I threw my hand over my mouth. Rosalie turned to glare at me, her eyes sparkling with chagrined fury. Emmett and Jasper turned to stare too, and I heard Esme's confusion. Esme was downstairs in a flash, pausing to glance between Rosalie and me.**

"**Don't stop, Edward," Esme encouraged after a strained moment.**

**I started playing again, turning my back on Rosalie while trying very hard to control the grin stretching across my face. She got to her feet and stalked out of the room, more angry than embarrassed. But certainly quite embarrassed.**

_**If you say anything I will hunt you like a dog**_

_Why did she have to be so mean? I get she was protecting the family but that hurt._

"Sshh it's okay, love."

_What's wrong Edward?_

"She's upset by your thoughts on her Rose, what do you think?"

_Oh. Sorry._

**I smothered another laugh.**

"**What's wrong Rose?" Emmett called after her. Rosalie didn't turn. She continued, back ramrod straight, to the garage and then squirmed under her car as if she could bury herself there.**

"**What's that about?" Emmett asked me.**

"**I don't have the faintest idea," I lied.**

**Emmett grumbled, frustrated.**

"**Keep playing," Esme urged. My hands had paused again. **

**I did as she asked, and she came to stand behind me, putting her hands on my shoulders. The song was compelling, but incomplete. I toyed with a bridge but it didn't seem right somehow.**

"I love my lullaby."

"I'm glad you do, love I've been writing one for the baby."

"Really?"

"I'd love to hear it, unless you want to wait until we are alone."

"I'll play it after you've talked to Rosalie."

"Sounds good to me."

"**It's charming. Does it have a name?" Esme asked.**

"**Not yet." **

"**Is there a story to it?" she asked, a smile in her voice. This gave her very great pleasure, and I felt guilty for having neglected my music for so long. It had been selfish. **

"**It's a lullaby," she repeated to herself.**

**There **_**was **_**a story to this melody, and once I saw that, the pieces fell into place effortlessly. The story was a sleeping girl in a narrow bed, dark hair thick and wild and twisted like seaweed across the pillow… Alice left Jasper to his own devices and came to sit next to me on the bench. In her trilling, wind chime voice, she sketched out a wordless descent two octaves above the melody. **

"**I like it," I murmured. "But how about this?" **

**I added a line to the harmony – my hands were flying across the keys now to work all pieces together – modifying it a bit, taking it in a new direction…**

"It's even more special to me, now that I know Alice helped."

"Yay!"

"I had a feeling you'd like that."

"Of course I do."

"Love you Alicat."

"Love you too Bells."

**She caught the mood, and sung along.**

"**Yes. Perfect," I said.**

**Esme squeezed my shoulder. But I could see the end now, with Alice's voice rising above the tune and taking it to another place. I could see how the song must end, because the sleeping girl was perfect just the way she was, and any change at all would be wrong, a sadness. The song drifted toward that realisation, slower and lower now. Alice's voice lowered, too, and became solemn, a tone that belonged under the echoing arches of a candlelit cathedral.**

"I'd love to hear my lullaby with you singing it Alice."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Edward hums it too much at night to get ne into a sound sleep but I would love to hear it the way its described here."

"Well then, love we'll show you afterward."

"Of course, I wouldn't want to stop the chapter halfway through, Emmett would have a fit."

"Hey!"

"Am I wrong?"

"Well no."

"Well then. Now if you'll excuse me a moment."

"What's wrong?"

"I need a human moment."

"h okay."

Blushing ten shades of red, I slid off the couch making my way into the downstairs bathroom taking care of business, washing my hands afterward, looking in the mirror I smiled noticing that for the first time in two weeks I actually had some colour back in my cheeks and that was without any blood so far, although I knew after we read this chapter I would need some. I didn't want to take any chances with our baby. Taking a deep breath, I prepared myself for the rest of the chapter, making my way back into the living room curling up on the couch next to Edward again resting my head against his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around my waist rubbing my belly in soothing motions, I could once again feel the fluttering movements relaxing once more nodding at Emmett showing him I was settled again.

**I played the last note, and then bowed my head over the keys. Esme stroked my hair.**

_**It's going to be fine, Edward. This is going to work out for the best. You **_**deserve **_**happiness, my son. Fate owes you that.**_

"**Thanks," I whispered, wishing I could believe it.**

_**Love doesn't always come in convenient packages.**_

_And I will be a vampire one day, after giving you two beautiful children._

"I love you."

_Love you too my Edward._

**I laughed once without humour.**

_**You, out of everyone on this planet, are perhaps best equipped to deal with such a difficult quandary. You are the best and the brightest of us all.**_

**I sighed. Every mother thought the same of her son. Esme was still full of joy that my heart had finally been touched after all this time, no matter the potential for tragedy. She'd thought I would always be alone…**

_**She'll have to love you back; **_**she thought suddenly, catching me by surprise with the direction of her thoughts. **_**If she's a bright girl. **_**She smiled. **_**But I can't imagine anymore being so slow they wouldn't see the catch you are.**_

_Forever I'm yours._

"**Stop it, Mom, you're making me blush," I teased. Her words, though improbable, did cheer me. **

**Alice laughed and picked out the top of "Heart and Soul." I grinned and completed the simple harmony with her. Then I favoured her with a performance of "Chopsticks." **

**She giggled, and then sighed. "So I wish you'd tell me what you were laughing at Rose about," Alice said. "But I can see that you won't."**

"**Nope." **

**She flicked my ear with her finger.**

"**Be nice, Alice," Esme chided. "Edward is being a gentleman."**

"**But I want to **_**know**_**."**

"Wow, Alice sometimes you really can be a baby."

"That's not nice, Bella."

"Maybe not, but I'm telling the truth."

"Fine, next time I'll be more understanding."

"That's all I ask."

**I laughed at the whinging tone she put on. Then I said, "Here, Esme," and began playing her favourite song, an unnamed tribute to the love I'd watched between her and Carlisle for so many years.**

"**Thank you, dear." She squeezed my shoulder again.**

**I didn't have to concentrate to play the familiar piece. Instead I thought of Rosalie, still figuratively writhing in mortification in the garage and I grinned to myself. Having just discovered the potency of jealousy for myself, I had a small amount of pity for her. It was a wretched way to feel. Of course, her jealousy was a thousand times more petty than mine. Quite the fox in the manager scenario.**

**I wondered how Rosalie's life and personality would have been different if she had not always been the most beautiful. Would she be have been a happier person if beauty hadn't at all times been her strongest selling point? Less egocentric? More compassionate?**

"Edward that's a mean thing to say or even think."

"I'm sorry, love and I'm sorry Rose, I shouldn't have thought that way."

"You're entitled to your opinion. But I think maybe I would be more of those things, but I think I' getting better."

"Yes you are."

"Thanks I think."

"Don't mention it."

**Well, I supposed it was useless to wonder, because the past was done, and she always **_**had **_**been the most beautiful. Even when human, she had ever lived in the spotlight of her own loveliness. Not that she'd minded. The opposite – she'd loved admiration above almost anything else. That hadn't changed with the loss of her mortality. It was no surprise then, taking this need as a given, that she'd been offended when I had not, from the beginning, worshiped her beauty the way she expected al males to worship. Not that she'd wanted **_**me **_**in any way – far from it. But it had aggravated her that I did not want her, despite that. She was used to being wanted. It was different with Jasper and Carlisle – they were already both in love. I was completely unattached and yet still remained obstinately unmoved.**

"Wow, way to make him feel guilty Rose. I'm sorry, I love you and all, but you can't hold that against him."

"I don't anymore. Like I said when I told you my story, I was jealous of your humanity. But back then, I was so destroyed by what Royce had done to me that rejection was painful."

"I was born for Bella, it wasn't that I didn't love you, it was just not in the way you needed back then, and it wasn't long after that you found Emmett."

"And he's the best thing that happened to me. My monkey man."

"I just don't want any of you to fight because of me."

"I'll try and keep my moods under wraps for you I promise."

"I think I can handle that."

**I'd thought that old resentment was buried. That she was long passed it. And she had been…until the day I finally found someone whose beauty touched me the way hers had not. Rosalie had relied on the belief that if I did not find **_**her **_**beauty worth worshiping, then certainly there was no beauty on earth that would reach me. She'd been furious since the moment I'd saved Bella's life, guessing with her shrewd female intuition, the interest that I was all but unconscious of myself. Rosalie was morally offended that I found some insignificant human girl more appealing than her.**

"All my insecurities wrapped up into one sentence."

"Bella, I don't feel that way now."

"I know, but the fact you thought them at all, hurts."

"I understand."

"The sooner we have that conversation the better."

"I agree."

**It bothered me some, though, the way she saw Bella. Rosalie actually thought the girl was **_**plain. **_**How could she believe that? It seemed incomprehensible to me. A product of jealousy, not doubt.**

"**Oh!" Alice said abruptly. "Jasper guess what?"**

**I saw what she'd just seen, and my hands froze on the keys.**

"**What Alice?"**

"**Peter and Charlotte are coming to visit next week! They're going to be in the neighbourhood, isn't that nice." **

"Ooh, now it makes sense."

"What does?"

"After Edward dropped me off from school not to go into the woods alone, that he wasn't the most dangerous thing out there. You were talking about Peter and Charlotte?"

"Yes, I was."

"Will I ever get to meet them?"

"After your change but not until especially when you're pregnant."

"Sounds like fun."

"You would say that."

_Love you._

"As I love you, angel."

"**What's wrong Edward?" Esme asking, feeling the tension in my shoulders.**

"**Peter and Charlotte are coming to **_**Forks?" **_**I hissed at Alice.**

**She rolled her eyes at me. "Calm down, Edward. It's not their first visit."**

**My teeth clenched together. It **_**was **_**their first visit since Bella had arrived, and her sweet blood didn't appeal to just me. **

**Alice frowned at my expression. "They never hunt here, You know that."**

"Overprotective vampire."

"Where you are concerned I'll always be overprotective."

"I know. I love you for it. Wait, you followed me through the woods while I was at school?"

"Yes, how did you know?"

"I didn't, I heard the trees rustle whilst I was talking to Mike that day, and I hoped it was you."

"Oh, love I missed you too that day so much."

"Can I read again?"

"Sorry Emmett, go ahead."

**But Jasper's brother of sorts and the little vampire he loved were not like us; they hunted the usual way. They could not be trusted around Bella.**

"**When?" I demanded.**

**She pursed her lips unhappily, but told me what I needed to know. **_**Monday morning. No one is going to hurt Bella.**_

"**No," I agreed, and then turned away from her. "You ready, Emmett?"**

"**I thought we were leaving in the morning?"**

"**We're coming back by midnight Sunday. I guess it's up to you when you want to leave." **

"**Okay, fine. Let me say goodbye to Rose first."**

"**Sure." With the mood Rosalie was in, it would be a short goodbye.**

"Now I'm excited."

"Why? What did I miss?"

"Well you missed nothing, but I haven't heard this before."

"Oh yeah, I guess that's true."

"And I might not get to _see _Edward hunt but I get to hear about it, that's enough for now."

"You're too cute."

"Thanks I think."

_**You really have lost it, Edward, **_**he thought as he headed toward the back door.**

"**I suppose I have."**

"**Play the new song for me, one more time," Esme asked.**

"**If you'd like that," I agreed, though I was a little hesitant to follow the tune to its unavoidable end – the end that had set me aching unfamiliar ways. I thought for a moment, and then pulled the bottle cap from my pocket and set it on the empty music stand. That helped a bit – my little memento of her **_**yes. **_

**I nodded to myself, and started playing.**

**Esme and Alice exchanged a glance, but neither one asked.**

_Mine!_

"Yes, yours. Always yours."

"So do we get to hear about you hunting now?"

"I believe so yes."

"Hold me."

Laying my head against Edward's chest I smiled as he started to rub my baby bump lightly, calming my excitement slightly but not enough to send me to sleep, this was definitely one part of Edward's thoughts I wanted to hear, to finally understand what he and Emmett had spoken about that day.

"**Hasn't anyone ever told you not to play with your food?" I called to Emmett.**

"**Oh hey Edward!" he shouted, grinning and waving at me. The bear took advantage of his distraction to rake its heavy paw across Emmett's chest. The sharp claws shredded through his shirt, and squealed across his skin.**

_**Aw hell, Rose gave me this shirt!**_

**Emmett roared back at the enraged animal. I sighed and sat down on a convenient boulder. This might take a while. But Emmett was almost done. He let the bear try to take his head off with another swipe of the paw, laughing as the blow bounced off and sent the bear staggering back. The bear roared and Emmett roared again through his laughter. Then he launched himself at the animal, which stood a head taller than him on its hind legs, and their bodies fell to the ground tangled up together, taking a mature spruce tree down with them. The bear's growls cut off with a gurgle.**

"Okay not exactly what I was expecting."

"I told you that Emmett likes to play with his food."

"Mm that you did. Didn't your mother ever tell you it's rude to play with your food?"

"Nope, and it's no fun if you don't."

"Boys."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Always liking to show off."

"Well I can't argue with that, love."

"Good because I'd get Alice or Rose to hit you if you didn't agree with me."

"No need to be mean."

"Sorry."

"You're forgiven."

**A few minutes later, Emmett jogged over to where I was waiting for him. His shirt was destroyed, torn and bloodied, sticky with sap and covered in fur. His dark curly hair wasn't in much better shape. He had a huge grin on his face.**

"**That was a strong one. I could almost feel it when he clawed me." **

"**You're such a child, Emmett." **

**He eyed my smooth, clean, white button down. "Weren't you able to track down a mountain lion then?"**

"**Of course I was. I just don't eat like a savage." **

"Damn it, it looks like I'm not going to get my wish."

"There are still four other books, I bet one of them involves hunting with you after your change."

"Oh I never thought of that."

"See where would you be without me?"

"I don't know Ali."

**Emmett laughed his booming laugh. "I wish they were stronger. It would be more fun." **

"**No one said you had to fight your food." **

"**Yeah, but who else am I going to fight with. You and Alice cheat, Rose never wants to get her hair messed up, and Esme gets mad if Jasper and I **_**really **_**go at it." **

"**Life is hard all around isn't it?"**

"Aww poor Emmybear. So many rules you have to follow."

"I know, thanks for being on my side."

"Oh I'm not, I'm Team Edward all the way,"

"I love you, sweet angel."

"I love you too."

"Rosie?"

"Don't drag me into this."

"Fine I'll keep reading then."

"I'd say that is a very good idea."

**Emmett grinned at me, shifting his eight a bit so that he was suddenly poised to take a charge. **

"**C'mon Edward. Just turn it off for one minute and fight fair."**

"**It doesn't turn off," I reminded him.**

"**Wonder what that human girl does to keep you out?" Emmett mused. "Maybe she could give me some pointers."**

"Sorry, Em, but I'm not letting you use my shield to gang up on Edward."

"How the hell did you hear what I was thinking?"

"I didn't, I just know you. And I'm getting better at reading Edward's facial expressions."

"Leave your brother alone Emmett."

"Alright, alright."

**My good humour vanished. "Stay away from her," I growled through my teeth.**

"**Touchy, touchy." **

**I sighed. Emmett came to sit beside me on the rock.**

"**Sorry. I know you're going through a touch spot. I really am trying not to be **_**too **_**much of an insensitive jerk, but, since that's sort of my natural side…"**

**He waited for me to laugh at his joke, and then made a face.**

_**So serious all the time. What's bugging you now?**_

"**Thinking about her. Well, worrying really."**

"**What's there to worry about? **_**You **_**are **_**here." **_**He laughed loudly.**

"That wasn't funny."

"I know, I can see that now."

"And for the record, I was just as worried and anxious about him."

"Calm down, love."

"I'm sorry, stupid hormones."

"It's alright, little sister I understand."

"Just read."

**I ignore his joke again, but answered his question. "Have you ever thought about how fragile they all are? How many bad things there are that can happen to a mortal?"**

"**Not really. I guess I see what you mean though. I wasn't much match for a bear that first time around, was I?"**

"**Bears," I muttered, adding a new fear to the pile. "That would be just her luck wouldn't it? Stray bear in town. Of course it would head straight for Bella." **

**Emmett chuckled. "You sound like a crazy person, do you know that?" **

"**Just imagine for one minute that Rosalie was human, Emmett. And she could run into a bear…or get hit by a car…or **_**lightening…**_**or fall down stairs…or get sick – get a **_**disease**_**!" The words burst from me stormily. It was a relief to let them out – they'd been festering inside me all weekend. "Fires and earthquakes and tornados! Ugh! When's the last time you watched the news? Have you **_**seen **_**the kinds of things that happen to them? Burglaries and homicides…"**

"You really did worry about me?"

"Of course I did, I love you. I had a panic attack that day."

"I can tell. But you know what?"

"What?"

"I have a vampire doctor, who will always take care of me. These things will never happen."

"I know, love it's just the thought of losing you."

"You won't lose me. I promise."

"Forever."

"Yes, forever. Only yours."

**My teeth clenched together, and I was abruptly so infuriated by the idea of another **_**human **_**hurting her that I couldn't breathe.**

"**Whoa, whoa! Hold up, there kid. She lives in Forks, remember? So she gets rained on." He shrugged.**

"Famous last words."

"Yeah well, only you can piss off so many nomads."

"All I did was fall in love. It's not my fault James got in the way. He shouldn't have messed with me."

"Whoa feisty little one aren't you?"

"When it's about Edward, yes I am. He's my mate and human or not I'm always going to protect him, even against his bonehead brother."

"Gee thanks."

"Just read and stop making stupid remarks."

"**I think she has some serious bad luck, Emmett, I really do. Look at the evidence. Of all the places in the world she could go, she ends up in a town where **_**vampires **_**make up a significant portion of the population."**

"**Yeah, but we're vegetarian. So isn't that good luck, not bad?"**

"**With the way she smells? Definitely bad. And then, more bad luck, the way she smells to **_**me**_**." I glowered at my hands, hating them again.**

"You Mr Cullen have extremely talented hands. Remember on Isle Esme."

"Mm, now that you mention it, I can see a bright side to them."

"And they most definitely came in useful when I was so hot on the island."

"Too Much Information. Ew Edward that's just gross."

"Now you know how I feel every single day when you imagine what you want to do to your mates."

"Alright I see your point, we'll try and tone it down."

"Thank you."

"**Except that you have ore self-control than just about anyone but Carlisle. Good luck again." **

"**The van?"**

"**That was just an accident."**

"**You should have seen it coming for her, Em, again and again. I swear, it was like she had some kind of magnetic pull."**

"**But you were there. That was good luck."**

"**Was it? Isn't this the worst luck any human could ever possibly have – to have a **_**vampire **_**fall in **_**love **_**with them?"**

_NO! You're the very best part of my life._

"No need to scream your thoughts at me love."

"Sorry."

"It's okay, I can see why you're upset."

"Good,"

**Emmett considered that quietly for a moment. He pictured the girl in his head, and found the image uninteresting. **_**Honestly, I can't really see the draw. **_

"**Well, I can't really see Rosalie's allure, either," I said rudely. "**_**Honestly, **_**she seems like more work than any pretty face is worth."**

**Emmett chuckled. "I don't suppose you'd tell me…"**

**I don't know what her problem is, Emmett," I lied with a sudden, wife grin. **

**I saw the intent in time to brace myself. He tried to shove me off the rock, and there was a loud cracking sound as a fissure opened in the stone between us.**

"**Cheater," he muttered. **

"Emmett I'm still not helping you cheat."

"So not fair, what's the point in you having a shield if you can't use it for her advantage?"

"But-."

"But nothing and if you thought I wouldn't shield Edward in your little games you're mistaken."

"Fine."

**I waited for him to try another time, but his thoughts took a different direction. He was picturing Bella's face again, but imagining it whiter, imagining her eyes bright red…**

"**No," I said, my voice strangled.**

"**It solves your worries about morality, doesn't it? And then you wouldn't want to kill her, either. Isn't that the best way?"**

"**For me? Or for her?"**

"**For you," he answered easily. His tone added the **_**of course.**_

**I laughed humourlessly. "Wrong answer."**

"**I didn't mind so much," he reminded me.**

"**Rosalie did."**

**He sighed. We both knew that Rosalie would do anything, give up anything, if it meant she could be human again. Even Emmett.**

"Do you still feel that way?"

"Sometimes, but I love Emmett, he's my life, just as Edward is yours, I might not be able to have my own children but I do get to be an auntie."

"So in a way, my pregnancy has helped you move on?"

"Mm."

"That's nice to know."

"**Yeah, Rose did," he acquiesced quietly.**

"**I can't…I shouldn't…I'm **_**not **_**going to ruin Bella's life. Wouldn't you feel the same, if it were Rosalie?"**

**Emmett thought about that for a moment. **_**You really…love her?**_

"**I can't even describe it, Emmett. All of a sudden, this girl's the whole world to e. I don't see the **_**point **_**of the rest of the world without her anymore."**

_**But you won't change her? She won't last forever, Edward.**_

"**I know that," I groaned.**

"You were meant to be helping him not making him question himself more."

"Hey, don't blame me little sis, these are his thoughts."

"I'd like to have seen you go through everything we have just to be together."

"I'm sorry, I didn't think about that."

"You never do, you just blurt everything out. But you're forgiven this time."

_**And as you've pointed out, she's sort of breakable.**_

"**Trust me – that I know, too." **

**Emmett was not a tactful person, and delicate discussions were not his forte. He struggled now, wanting very much to be offensive.**

_**Can you even touch her? I mean, if you **_**love **_**her…wouldn't you want to, well touch her?**_

**Emmett and Rosalie shared an intensely physical love. He had a hard time understanding how one **_**could **_**love, without that aspect.**

**I sighed. "I can't even think of that, Emmett." **

"Edward, I know I've apologised before, but I didn't know you felt this strongly."

"It's alright Rose, we've all learned a lot in the last two years. What matters is we got through it."

"I guess that's true."

"And family's fight it's normal."

"I'm still going to try and be more understanding of your feelings."

"That's all I can hope for."

_**Wow. So what are your options, then?**_

"**I don't know," I whispered. "I'm trying to figure out a way to…leave her. I just can't fathom how to make myself stay away…"**

**With a deep sense of gratification, I suddenly realised that it was **_**right **_**for me to stay – at least for now, with Peter and Charlotte on their way. She was safer with me here temporarily than she would if I were gone. For the moment, I could be her unlikely protector. The thought made me anxious; I itched to be back so that I could fill that role for as long as possible. **

**Emmett noticed the change in my expression. **_**What are you thinking about?**_

"**Right now," I admitted a bit sheepishly. "I'm dying to run back to Forks and check on her. I don't know if I'll make it until Sunday night."**

"**Uh-uh! You are **_**not**_** going home early. Let Rosalie cool down a bit. Please! For my sake."**

"**I'll try to stay," I said doubtfully.**

"Talk about laying it on thick."

"What? Is it pick on Emmett day or something?"

"Well you are trying to make him feel bad Em; you know how hard he was being on himself."

"I just didn't want any more fights."

"Let's just agree to disagree I'm always going to be on Edward's side just as you'll always take Rose's side."

"I guess that's fair."

**Emmett tapped the phone in my pocket. "Alice would call if there were any basis for your panic attack. She's as weird about this girl as you are."**

**I grimaced at that. "Fine. But I'm not staying past Sunday." **

"**There's no point in hurrying back – it's going to be sunny, anyway. Alice said we were free from school until Wednesday." **

**I shook my head rigidly.**

"**Peter and Charlotte know how to behave themselves."**

"**I really don't care, Emmett. With Bella's luck, she'll go wandering off into the woods at exactly the wrong moment and –"I finished. "Peter isn't known for his self-control. I'm going back Sunday."**

**Emmett sighed. **_**Exactly like a crazy person.**_

"Ouch! Rosie what was that for?"

"Making fun of your brother."

"Geez I'm starting to wish we never got these books, no one is any fun."

"We know that you're trying to lighten the mood Emmett, but sometimes it's not funny, it's hard for me to know that Edward was this conflicted. Yes we are well passed that now, but hearing how sad he was upsets me."

"Alright I'll try and tone it down I promise."

"Good."

**Bella was sleeping peacefully when I climbed up to her bedroom window early Monday morning. I'd remembered oil this time, and the window now moved silently out of my way. I could tell by the way her hair lay smooth across the pillow that she'd had a less restless night than the last time I was here. She had her hands folded under her cheek like a small child, and her mouth was slightly open. I could hear her breath moving slowly in and out between her lips.**

"Aww, that's so sweet."

"You really were in my room every night?"

"I told you I was."

"I know it's just nice to hear in your thoughts just as much as hearing you say it."

"I'm sure if things had been reversed you'd be doing the same thing."

"Oh I have no doubt about it."

"So cute together."

"Made for each other."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

**It was an amazing relief to be here, to be able to see her again. I realised that I wasn't truly at ease unless that was the case. Nothing was right when I was away from her. Not that all was right when I was with her, either, though. I sighed, letting the thirst fire rake through my throat. I'd been away from it too long. The time spent without pain and temptation made it all the more forceful now. **

"Is it still that painful? Don't lie to me."

"Sometimes, but for the majority of the time it's just a dull ache."

"I'm glad it's not this bad for you anymore. I hate to cause you pain."

"It's not exactly your fault, love. You can't help the way you smell."

"Mm I guess not."

**It was bad enough that I was afraid to go kneel beside her bed so that I could read the titles of her books. I wanted to know the stories in her head, but I was afraid of more than my thirst, afraid that if I let myself get that close to her, I would want to be closer still… Her lips looked very soft and warm. I could imagine touching them with the tip of my finger. Just lightly… That was exactly the kind of mistake that I had to avoid. **

I sighed, nuzzling my head into Edward's chest again, feeling the need to be closer to him. His arms instantly wrapped around my body as I slowly let a few tears escape. I always knew how Edward felt back then, he hadn't hidden any of it from me, and I just hadn't expected it to be this bad. I hated to see him in pain just as he hated to see me in pain; I only wished I'd been able to reassure him. I'd have done anything in order for him to feel more comfortable.

"Bella, love, I wouldn't have known how to talk to you about this stuff. That's why I talked to Emmett."

"I know, it's just upsetting to know you were feeling how I was and not able to discuss it…until later of course."

"Taking you to the meadow that day was the biggest test I've ever been through. But afterward, when I held you on my back, I knew I would be able to stay in control."

"Really?"

"Really."

"I feel better now."

"Good."

**My eyes ran over her face again and again, examining it for changes. Mortals changed all the time – I was sad at the thought of missing anything. I thought she looked…tired. Like she hadn't gotten enough sleep this weekend. Had she gone out? I laughed silently and wryly at how much that upset me. So what if she had? I didn't own her. She wasn't mine. No she wasn't mine – and I was sad again.**

"I've always been yours, even then. You just had to believe in yourself first."

"I love you."

"Love you too. Forever."

"Forever."

**One of her hands twitched, and I noticed that there were shallow, barely healed scrapes across the heel of her palm. She'd been hurt? Even though it was obviously not a serious injury, it still disturbed me. I considered the location and decided she must have tripped. That seemed a reasonable explanation, all things considering.**

"You were right as usual. I tripped over my feet on the way up to the ocean pools."

"What am I going to do with you?"

"You can blame Charlie for my clumsiness."

"I had noticed."

"Don't let him hear you say that."

"Oh I won't."

"My angel."

"My love."

"Can I read now?"

"Yup."

**It was comforting to think that I wouldn't have to puzzle over either of these small mysteries forever. We were **_**friends **_**now – or, at least, trying to be friends. I could ask her about her weekend. – about the beach, and whatever late night activity had made her look so weary. I could ask what had happened to her hands. And I could laugh a little when she confirmed my theory about them. I smiled gently as I wondered whether or not she **_**had **_**fallen in the ocean. I wondered if she'd had a pleasant time on the outing. I wondered if she'd thought about me at all. If she'd missed e even the tiniest portion of the amount that I'd missed her.**

"In answer to your questions. Yes I thought about you, I always do."

"It warms my still heart to hear that."

"No one else has ever made me feel the way you do. Knowing your secret just made me want to get even closer to you."

"You're amazing."

"Mm, you have told me that once or twice."

"And I'll keep telling you that."

"So sweet."

"Dude way to put us to shame."

"It's not my fault I know how to be treat my mate."

"Humph."

**I tried to picture her in the sun on the beach. The picture was incomplete, though, because I'd never been to First Beach myself. I only knew how it looked in pictures… I felt a tiny qualm of unease as I thought about the reason why I'd never once been to the pretty beach located just a few minutes run from my home. Bella had spent the day at LaPush – a place where I was forbidden; by treaty, to go. A place where a few old men still remembered the stories about the Cullens remembered and believed them. A place where our secret was known… **

"I'll take you there when we move down there I promise. I can tell you all my stories."

"I'd like that a lot."

"Had a feeling you would."

"What about the rest of us?"

"Billy said as long as either Edward or I were with you that you were welcome as well."

"Cool."

"Just read Emmett."

**I shook my head. I had nothing to worry about there. The Quileutes were bound by treaty, too. Even had Bella run into one of those aging sages, they could reveal nothing. And why would the subject be broached? Why would Bella think to voice her curiosity there? No – the Quileutes were perhaps the **_**one **_**thing I did not have to worry about. I was angry with the sun when it began to rise. It reminded me that I could satisfy my curiosity for days to come. Why did it choose to shine now? **

"The sun always does come out and ruin things."

"How right you are."

"I think I'll always love the sun, even when I can't enjoy it the way I do now."

"Mm I had a feeling you'd say that."

"You're cheating you read it in my mind before I said it."

"You caught me."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

**With a sigh, I ducked out her window before it was light enough for anyone to see me here. I meant to stay in the thick forest by her house and see her off to school, but when I got into the trees, I was surprised to find the trace of her scent lingering on the trial there. I followed it quickly, curiously, becoming more and more worried as it led deeper into the darkness. What had Bella been doing out **_**here**_**? The trial stopped abruptly, in the middle of nowhere in particular. She'd gone just a few steps off the trail, into the ferns, where she'd touched the truck of a fallen tree. Perhaps sat there…**

**Why would Bella have come to sit here alone – and she had been alone, no doubt about that – in the idle of the wet, murky forest? It made no sense, and, unlike those other points of curiosity, I could hardly bring things up in casual conversation.**

_And you say that I'm full of questions._

"I can't help it. I want to know everything about you."

_I think you know everything by now._

"This is going to get annoying. It's bad enough that he can have secret conversations with Alice but now Bells too."

"Aww poor Emmybear you know what?"

"No, what?"

"Deal with it. Now read."

"Fine."

_**So, Bella, I was following your scent through the woods after I left your room where I'd been watching you sleep… **_**Yes, that would be quite the ice breaker. I would never know what she'd been thinking and doing here, and that had my teeth grinding together in frustration. Worse, this was far too much like the scenario I'd imagined for Emmett – Bella wandering alone in the woods, where her scent would call to anyone who had the senses to track it… I groaned. Not only did she have bad luck, but she courted it. Well, for this moment she had a protector. I would watch over her, keep her from harm, for as long as I could justify it. I suddenly found myself wishing that Peter and Charlotte would make an extended stay.**

"That's the end of the chapter."

"Bella would you like to have that talk now?"

"Of course."

* * *

**Talk With Rosalie**

Sliding off the couch, I followed Rosalie up to the bedroom she shared with Emmett, suddenly feeling anxious on what we were going to talk about. I knew how far we had come since Edward and I had gotten married and the last thing I wanted was for something to be taken the wrong way and end up back at square one again. Taking a deep breath I sat in the middle of the huge bed suddenly finding the decorative pattern interesting. I was brought out of my thoughts by the bed sinking next to me. Gazing into Rosalie's eyes I was shocked at what I found there, instead of resentment I found compassion, love and acceptance.

"I know we haven't spoken in detail about my conversation with Edward that led to his going to the Volturi, at the time you were too exhausted for us to talk and then I backed out on talking to you about it that day when Alice kidnapped you."

"I understand why you told him, you were protecting him. I just wish instead of being happy you were leaving me behind you could have stopped him. I honestly don't know how he's going to handle hearing my thoughts from our time apart."

"It wasn't that I was happy, I've never seen Edward so devastated before, if it hadn't been for Alice forcing him to feed he would have starved himself."

"I have a lot of regrets the main one being I didn't see through his lies."

"I don't know exactly what he said to you, something tells me that we're going to find out."

"That's what worries me."

"Hey, hey, hey. Calm down, nothing bad will happen. And I'm long passed my bitterness. I realise now that being with Edward doesn't take away things that are important like children."

"I'm glad we can talk about this stuff."

"So am I. Now do you want to move down to LaPush now or read another chapter?"

"I want to read another chapter then start moving things down there."

"Come on then. It's your turn to read."

"This should be fun."

Wrapping my arms around Rose, I rested my head against her shoulder, finally feeling free from all the guilt I'd been holding inside ever since finding out that my big sister was jealous of me, I didn't want anyone to hurt because of me. In truth, I'd always admired her, she had confidence where I had none, and maybe after my change she could teach me a few things. She pulled away first blinking back tears I knew could never fall holding out her hand for me. Taking hold of it I smiled, standing slowly as we walked downstairs together, I could tell by the look on Edward's face he had heard something positive in her thoughts. The past had finally been laid to rest, I only hoped it would stay there as we continued reading. Only time would tell. Curling up in Edward's loving arms again, I took the book from Emmett taking a deep breath preparing to read.


	14. Ghost

**Title:** Receiving The Books – The Cullens Read Midnight Sun

**Author:** Bella Katelyn

**Rating:** M

**Summary:** On their arrival home from their honeymoon, Bella and Edward find out that five books have been delivered to the Cullen house. Four from the past and one of the future. Follow my story as they sit down to read. How will Bella react when she hears Edward's thoughts for the first time? How will Edward react when he realises Bella's feelings for him mirrored his own?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to author Stephanie Meyer, and are brought to the fandom by Summit Entertainment. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours. With that said I hope you enjoy this story as much as I'm going to enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Ghost**

**BPOV**

"This chapter is called Ghost."

"Oooh scary."

"Shut up and let Bella read."

"Fine."

**I did not see much of Jasper's guests for the two sunny days that they were in Forks. I only went home at all so that Esme wouldn't worry. Otherwise, my existence seemed more like that of a spectator than a vampire. I hovered, invisible in the shadows, where I could follow the object of my love and obsession – where I could see her and hear her in the minds of the lucky humans who could walk through the sunlight behind her,**

"I was so lonely those too days and miserable."

"Why?"

"Because Edward wasn't there. It made me anxious to be away from him."

"You two truly are mates; I'm amazed you two managed to wait until you were married to complete the mating bond."

"I knew it was important to Edward and that's all that mattered."

"I see your point."

"Thought you might."

**sometimes accidentally brushing the back of her hand with their own. She never reacted to such contact; their hands were just as warm as hers. The enforced absence from school had never been a trial like this before. But the sun seemed to make her happy, so I could not resent it too much. Anything that pleased her was in my good graces. Monday morning, I eavesdropped on a conversation that had the potential to destroy my confidence and make the time spent away from her a torture. As it ended up, though, it rather made my day. **

"Is this where Mike tries to ask me out again?"

"Mm, I wanted to show you that I was there so badly."

"I'd like to have seen that. Especially Mike's face."

"I had a feeling you'd say that."

"His thoughts are enough to make me feel sick again."

"I'm sorry you have to hear them."

"At least I know how delusional he is."

"That's true."

**I had to feel some little respect for Mike Newton; he had not simply given up and slunk away to nurse his wounds. He had more bravery than I'd given him credit for. He was going to try again. Be;;a got to school quite early and, seeming intent on enjoying the sun while it lasted, sat at one of the seldom used picnic benches while she waited for the first bell to ring. Her hair caught the sun an unexpected ways, giving off a reddish shine that I had not anticipated. Mike found her there, doodling again, and was thrilled at his good luck. **

"I didn't like him touching me."

"I know I saw you flinch compared to the reaction when I did the same thing."

"I don't want anyone who isn't you touching me that way."

"I can understand sweetheart I feel the same way."

"What do you think he would do if he knew you knew his every thought?"

"I have no idea, why?"

"Just a little revenge."

"We will be talking about that later, for now keep reading."

"Okay."

**It was agonising to only be able to watch, powerless, bound to the forest's shadows by the bright sunlight. She greeted him enough enthusiasm to make him ecstatic, and me the opposite.**

_**See, she likes me. She wouldn't smile like that if she didn't. I bet she wanted to go to the dance with me. Wonder what's so important in Seattle…**_

**He perceived the change in her hair. "I never noticed before – your hair has red in it."**

**I accidentally uprooted the young spruce tree my hand was resting on when he pinched a strand of her hair between his fingers. **

"**Only in the sun," she said. **

**To my deep satisfaction, she cringed away from him slightly when he tucked the strand behind her ear. It took Mike a minute to build up his courage, wasting some time on small talk. **

"Idiot."

"He sure is little sis."

"I had the last laugh. I can't see Mike and Jess even being able to commit to each other, and if they do it won't last."

"That's true, although Jess seems to be more grown up now."

"Mm, I still don't trust Lauren though."

"She's one to watch."

"Thought so. But that's why I'm glad we're staying close."

"Why?"

"To see if they truly have changed."

"Good idea."

**She reminded him of the essay we all had due on Wednesday. From the faintly smug expression on her face, hers was already done. He's forgotten altogether, and that severely diminished his free time. **

_**Dang – stupid essay.**_

**Finally he got to the point – my teeth were clenched so hard they could have pulverised to granite – and even then, he couldn't make himself ask the question outright.**

"**I was going to ask if you want to go out."**

"**Oh," she said.**

**There was a brief silence. **

_**Oh? What does that mean? Is she going to say yes? Wait – I guess I didn't really ask. **_

**He swallowed hard.**

"**Well, we could have dinner or something…and I could work on it later.**

_**Stupid – that wasn't a question either.**_

"Ugh."

"Teenagers are so hormonal they can't tell when someone isn't interested."

"He's an idiot."

"He has no brain that's why."

"If he did he'd realise that he was stepping on dangerous territory."

"I think it's time Mike and Jessica realised that what they think has a tendency to blow up in their face. You invite them to LaPush once you are moved in and then play games with them, and you freak them out by answering their thoughts or say something that they have thought in the past."

"Oh I like that idea."

"Alright we'll do it."

"Yay!"

"**Mike…"**

**The agony and fury of my jealousy was every bit as powerful as it had been last week. I broke another tree trying to hold myself here. I wanted so badly to race across the campus, too fast for human eyes, and snatch her up – to steal her away from the boy that I hated so much in this moment I could have killed him and enjoyed it.**

**Would she say yes to him?**

_Never._

I know, love. I don't blame you for thinking I had a personality disorder now that we are reading these books."

_You did confuse me a lot at the beginning but I understand. It's a lot for you to deal with._

"It was."

"Ugh, speak out loud so the rest of us can hear."

"No."

"Spoil Sport."

"Bite me."

"**I don't think that would be the best idea."**

**I breathed again. My rigid body relaxed.**

_**Seattle was just an excuse, after all. Shouldn't have asked. What was I thinking? Bet it's that freak, Cullen…**_

**Why?" he asked sullenly.**

"**I think…" she hesitated. "And if you ever repeat what I'm saying right now I will cheerfully beat you to death –."**

**I laughed out loud at the sound of a death threat coming through her lips. A jay shrieked, startled, and launched itself away from me. **

"**But I think that it would hurt Jessica's feelings."**

"**Jessica?" **_**What? But… Oh. Okay. I guess…So… Huh.**_

"Wow, real intelligent."

"His thoughts are just as stupid as he is."

"I sometimes wonder how that boy managed to graduate."

"I think we'd all like to know that."

"Probably got Jess to help."

"Dude! I bet you he tries to ask her out again during the rest of these books. $1,000."

"You're on."

_Idiots, oh well it's their money._

**His thoughts were no longer coherent.**

"**Really, Mike, are you **_**blind**_**?"**

**I echoed her sentiment. She shouldn't expect everyone to be as perceptive as she was, but really this instance was beyond obvious. With as much trouble as Mike had had working himself up to ask Bella out, did he imagine it wasn't just as difficult for Jessica? It must be selfishness that made him blind to others. And Bella was so unselfish, she saw everything.**

_**Jessica. Huh. Wow. Huh. **_**"Oh," he managed to say.**

**Bella used his confusion to make her exit.**

"**It's time for class, and I can't be late again."**

"Good for you Bella."

"I tried to let him down nicely but he just didn't get it."

"Newton will always be an annoyance."

"Maybe so but look at it this way, I married you, and I'm carrying your baby. You won."

"Mm, when you put it that way."

_Love you._

"You are my life."

**Mike became an unreliable viewpoint from then on. He found, as he turned the idea of Jessica around and around in his head, that he rather liked the thought of her finding him attractive. It was second place, not as good as if Bella had felt that way. **

_**She's cute, though, I guess. Decent body. A bird in the hand…**_

**He was off then, on the new fantasies that were just as vulgar as the ones about Bella, but now they only irritated me rather than infuriated. How little he deserved either girl; they were almost interchangeable to him. I stayed clear of his head after that. When she was out of sight, I curled up against the cool trunk of an enormous madrone tree and danced from mind to mind, keeping her in sight, always glad when Angela Weber was available to look through. **

"You really did watch me all the time."

"Of course I did, love."

"Well I think it's cute."

"We know Ali. I wouldn't change a single thing that has happened. Yes we have had ups and downs, but we got through them as a couple. I doubt Lauren or even Jessica could have dealt with half the things we have."

"They truly do have fickle minds."

"I should scold you for that comment but on this occasion I agree with you."

"Thanks Mom/"

**I wished there was some way to thank the Weber girl for simply being a nice person. It made me feel better to think that Bella had one friend worth having. I watched Bella's face from whichever angle I was given, and I could see that she was sad again. This surprised me – I thought the sun would be enough to keep her smiling. At lunch, I saw her glance time and time again toward the empty Cullen table, and that thrilled me. It gave me hope. Perhaps she missed me, too.**

"I was miserable the whole day. I was starting to think I'd scared you off."

"You could never scare me off sweetheart and if I knew you were this upset I would have found a way to let you know I was watching."

"I know you would. I guess these books are a good thing, they are helping us understand each other."

"Aww." everyone but Emmett cooed

"What's up Emm?"

"You keep talking instead of reading."

"Well I'm only human; I need to breath in between sentences."

"Oh yeah I didn't think about that."

"That's nothing new."

"Hey! I resent that."

"Mm I'm hungry."

"What can I get you dear?"

"Eggs please and a cup of blood."

"Coming up, keep reading I can hear from the kitchen."

"Alright."

**She had plans to go out with the other girls – I automatically planned my own surveillance – but these plans were postponed when Mike invited Jessica out on the date he'd planned for Bella. So I went straight to her house instead, doing a quick sweep of the woods to make sure no one dangerous had wandered too close. I knew Jasper had warned his one-time brother to avoid the town – citing my insanity as both explanation and warning – but I wasn't taking any chances. Peter and Charlotte had no intention of causing animosity with my family, but intentions were changeable things.**

"Oh no."

"What is it, love?"

"You saw me reading, this is embarrassing."

"I think it was endearing."

"Even in my books I kept thinking of you."

"So that's why you came back with a goofy grin on your face."

"Oh shut up Emmett."

"I'm going hunting; it's getting annoying being told to shut up all the time."

"Fair enough, see you later."

I couldn't help but giggle, as much as Emmett played the tough guy he was definitely a big teddy bear, as he raced outdoors I rested my head against Edward's chest, waiting until he was out of sight before preparing myself to read again, maybe now we'd be able to get through more than a few sentences before being interrupted. With Edward's arms securely around my waist, I started reading again.

**Alright, I was overdoing it. I knew that.**

**As if she knew I was watching, as if she took pity on the agony I felt when I couldn't see her, Bella came out to the backyard after a long hour indoors. She had a book in her hand and a blanket under her arm. Silently, I climbed into the higher branches of the closest tree overlooking the yard. She spread the blanket on the damp grass and then lay on her stomach and started flipping through the worn book, as if trying to find her place. I read over her shoulder. **

**Ah – more classics. She was an Austen fan.**

**She read quickly, crossing and re-crossing her ankles in the air. I was watching the sunlight and wind play in her hair when her body suddenly stiffened, and her hand froze on the page. All I saw was that she'd reached chapter three when she roughly grabbed a thick section of pages and shoved them over.**

_This is so embarrassing. And it will be worse when it's in my thoughts._

"It's okay, love I will love hearing your thoughts whatever they are."

_Really?_

"Yes, really."

_Alright_

**I caught a glance of a title page, **_**Mansfield Park. **_**She was starting a new story – the book was a compilation of novels. I wondered why she'd switched stories so abruptly. Just a few moments later, she slammed the book angrily shut. With a fierce scowl on her face, she pushed the book aside and flipped over onto her back. She took a deep breath, as if to calm herself, pushed her sleeves up and closed her eyes. I remembered the novel and couldn't think of anything offensive in it to upset her. Another mystery. I sighed.**

"Here's your eggs and blood sweetheart."

"Thank you Esme. Can you read the book for a while until I've finished eating?"

"Of course I can."

Snuggling into Edward's side I took the plate from Esme's hands handing her the book which she took eagerly. Since my morning sickness had eased off I was definitely going to eat more, but I wasn't stupid, I wasn't going to push myself. Sucking on the blood after inhaling a mouthful of eggs I relaxed as Esme began reading where I left off.

**She lay very still, moving just once to yank her hair away from her face. It fanned out over her head, a river of chestnut. And she was motionless again. Her breathing slowed. After several long minutes her lips began to tremble. Mumbling in her sleep. Impossible to resist. I listened as far out as I could, catching voices in the houses nearby.**

_**Two tablespoons of flour…one cup of milk…**_

_**C'mon! Get it through the hoop! Aw, c'mon!**_

"That sounds like something Emmett would say?"

"Hey! That's not nice little sis."

"Am I wrong?"

"Well no but still."

"How was hunting? Find any good bears?"

"Three."

"Mm hm."

"What's that mean?"

"You'll see."

"Spoiler."

"You'll love it. Promise."

"Alright then."

_**Red, or blue…or maybe I should wear something casual…**_

**There was no one close by. I jumped to the ground, landing silently on my toes. This was very wrong, very risky. How condescendingly I'd once judged Emmett for his thoughtless ways and Jasper for his lack of discipline - and now I was consciously flouting all the rules with a wild abandon that made their lapses look like nothing at all. I used to be the responsible one. I sighed, but crept out into the sunshine regardless. I avoided looking at myself in the sun's glare. It was bad enough that my skin was stone and inhuman in shadow; I didn't want to look at Bella and myself side by side in the sunlight. The difference between us was already insurmountable, painful enough without this image also in my head.**

"I…just…wow."

"What is it, love?"

"I thought I felt a presence there but I had no idea you were actually there."

"You look beautiful in the sun."

"Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself."

**But I couldn't ignore the rainbow sparkles that reflected onto her skin when I got closer. My jaw locked at the sight. Could I be any more of a freak? I imagined her terror if she opened her eyes now… I started to retreat, but she mumbled again, holding me there.**

"Oh no. You heard me sleep talking even then."

"Mm."

"Embarrassing."

"**Mmm… Mmm." **

**Nothing intelligible. Well, I would wait for a bit. I carefully stole her book, stretching my arm out and holding my breath while I was close, just in case. I started breathing again when I was a few yards away, tasting the way the sunshine and open air affected her scent. The heat seemed to sweeten her scent. My throat burned with desire, the fire fresh and fierce again because I had been away from her for too long. I spent a moment controlling that, and then – forcing myself to breathe through my nose – I let her book fall open in my hands. She started with the first book … I flipped through the pages quickly to the third chapter of **_**Sense and Sensibility, **_**searching for something potentially offensive in Austen's overly polite prose. **

Pushing my empty plate away I sighed, burying my head into Edward's shirt groaning, the reason behind my anger seemed silly now, letting out a deep breath I prepared myself for Emmett's teasing.

"What is it, love?"

"It seems so ridiculous now, getting upset because of the characters' name."

"Dude that's hilarious. Couldn't even stop thinking about him whilst reading."

"Shut up, Emmett."

**When my eyes stopped automatically at my name – the character Edward Ferrars being introduced for the first time – Bella spoke again. **

"**Mmm, Edward," she sighed.**

"Good one you were having a sex dream about him."

"Emmett Dale McCarthy Cullen I swear if you don't stop with your comments, you won't be present for the rest of the books."

"Aww mom come on I'm just teasing."

"You're not funny."

"Spoil all my fun."

**This time I did not fear that she had awoken. Her voice was just a low, wistful murmur. Not the scream of fear it would have been if she'd seen me now. Joy warred with self-loathing. She was still dreaming of me, at least.**

"**Edmund. Ahh. Too…close…"**

"**Edmund?"**

"I was dreaming of you, I guess that stupid character just popped in my head at that moment. You were and still are in every dream I have."

"Good to know."

"I can't believe you were jealous of a fictional character."

"That's Edward for you."

"I'm still here you know."

"Boys."

**Ha! She wasn't screaming of me at all, I realised blackly. The self-loathing returned in force. She was dreaming of a fictional character. So much for my conceit. I replaced her book and stole back into the cover of the shadows – where I belonged.**

"Never say that again do you hear me."

"I don't feel that way anymore."

"Good, do you know how much it hurts to hear you think that."

"I'm sorry, love."

"You're forgiven this time."

"Whipped."

"Yeah, yeah you two are both the same way with your mates."

"Guess you've got us there."

"Mm."

**The afternoon passed and I watched, feeling helpless again, as the sun slowly sank in the sky and the shadows crawled across the lawn toward her. I wanted to push them back, but the darkness was inevitable; the shadows took her. When the light was gone, her skin looked too pale – ghostly. Her hair was dark again, almost black against her face. It was a frightening thing to watch – like witnessing Alice's visions come to fruition. Bella's steady, strong heartbeat was the only reassurance, the sound that kept this moment from feeling like a nightmare. I was relieved when her father arrived home. **

"I wish you'd told me all this. I would have understood."

"Looking back I wish that I had, it would have made things a lot easier."

"When has anything we've done been easy."

"Our honeymoon."

"Dude, spill."

"Hell no. I seriously hope it's not in these books."

"Don't count on it."

"Wonderful."

**I could hear little from him as he drove down the street toward the house. Some vague annoyance…in the past, something from his day at work. Expectation mixed with hunger – I guessed that he was looking forward to dinner. But his thoughts were so quiet and contained that I could not be sure I was right; I only got the gist of them. I wondered what her mother sounded like – what the genetic combination had been that had formed her so uniquely.**

"What do you think now that you've met Renee?"

"She's interesting. I've never known a human to think of so many things at the same time."

"She loses focus on things so quickly."

"I definitely agree with you, you've got more Charlie in you. But you know what?"

"What?"

"I like that."

"Oh really."

"Really,"

"Get a room."

"We have one, but there is no way I'm using it with you all here. Sorry no sex show for you."

"Dude!"

"Oh my god I can't believe I said that."

"You're awesome baby sister."

"Thanks I think."

"Would you like to read again Bella?"

"Yes please."

"Here you go sweetheart."

Taking the book from Esme I sat up slightly finding the place Esme had left off as I prepared to read again. I didn't think Edward would know exactly how happy reading his thoughts made me. Waiting until Emmett had stopped torturing Edward I started reading.

**Bella started to wake up; jerking up into a sitting position when the tires of her father's car hit the brick driveway. She stared around herself, seeming confused by the unexpected darkness. For one brief moment, her eyes touched the shadows where I hid, but they flickered quickly away**

"**Charlie?" she asked in a low voice, still peering into the trees surrounding the small yard.**

**The door of his car slammed shut, and she looked to the sound. She got to her feet quickly and gathered her things, casting one more look back toward the woods. I moved into a tree closer to the back window near the small kitchen, and listened to their evening. It was interesting to compare Charlie's words to his muffled thoughts.**

"Well I guess we know where I get my silent mind from now."

"I often wondered if it was Charlie because I could hear Renee no problem."

"We are very alike so it's not a big surprise."

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"Read please."

"Alright."

**His love and concern for his only daughter were nearly overwhelming, and yet his words were always terse and casual. Most of the time, they sat in companionable silence. I heard her discuss her plans for the following evening in Port Angeles, and I refined my own plans as I listened. Jasper had not warned Peter and Charlotte to stay clear of Port Angeles. Though I knew they had fed recently and had no intention of hunting anywhere in the vicinity of our home, I would watch her, just in case. After all, there were always others of my kind out there. And then, all those human dangers that I never much considered before now.**

"Oh…oh no."

"What is it, love?"

"I'm going to hear what those…those men were thinking."

"I'm sorry, love I never wanted you to hear that."

"S'okay it's not your fault. Maybe it'll help."

"Maybe."

"I think it's time we went back to Bella Italia, it would be nice to have something other than the mushroom ravioli."

"Sounds good to me."

**I heard her worry aloud about leaving her father to prepare dinner alone, and smiled at this proof of my theory – yes she was a care taker. And then I left, knowing I would return when she was asleep. I would not trespass on her privacy the way the peeping tom would have. I was here for her protection, not to leer at her in the way Mike Newton no doubt would, where he agile enough to move through the treetops the way I could. I would not treat her so crassly. **

**My house was empty when I returned, which was fine by me. I didn't miss the confused or disparaging thoughts, questioning my sanity. Emmett had left a note stuck to the newel post.**

_**Football at the Rainier field – c'mon! Please?**_

"HA! Told you that those thoughts were just like something Emmett would say."

"Yeah, yeah laugh it up; just you wait until it's your turn to have your thoughts read out."

"Ugh don't remind me."

**I found a pen and scrawled the word **_**sorry **_**beneath his plea. The teams were even without me, in any case. I went for the shortest hunting trips, contenting myself with the smaller, gentler creatures that did not taste as good as the hunters, and then changed into fresh clothes before I ran back to Forks. Bell did not sleep as well tonight. She thrashed in her blankets, her face sometimes worried, sometimes sad. I wondered what nightmare haunted her…and then realised that perhaps I really didn't want to know. When she spoke, she mostly muttered derogatory things about Forks in a glum voice. Only once, when she sighed out the words "Come back" and her hand twitched open – a wordless plea – did I have a chance to hope she might be dreaming of me.**

"I think I can remember that dream. I don't want to give too much away though."

"I'd rather wait."

"You would say that. Now if it had been me."

"Well it's not you and Bella's thoughts are precious not something to be laughed over."

"No we just save that for yours."

"His thoughts are just as precious to me."

"Humph!"

**The next day of school, the **_**last **_**day the sun would hold me prisoner, was much the same as the day before. Bella seemed even gloomier than yesterday, and I wondered if she would bow out of her plans – she didn't seem in the mood. But, being Bella, she would probably put her friends' enjoyment above that of her own. She wore a deep blue blouse today, and the colour set her skin off perfectly, making it look like fresh cream.**

"I think I'll wear blue more often, Alice can you handle that."

"Eeek! I can't believe it, our Bella is growing up."

"Stop, you'll make me blush and Emmett's already making fun of me."

"Alright, alright I'll stop. You're going to love your new wardrobe."

_What did I just get myself into?_

**School ended, and Jessica agreed to pick the other girls up – Angela was going too, for which I was grateful. I went home to get my car. When I found that Peter and Charlotte were there. I decided I could afford to give the girls an hour or so head start. I would never be able to bear following behind them, driving at the speed limit – hideous thought. I came in through the kitchen, nodding vaguely at Emmett's and Esme's greetings as I passed by everyone in the front room and went straight to the piano.**

"Let me guess, there's going to be another fight?"

"Not really. I was still annoyed with Edward but I was coming around, very slowly."

"Let's just hope that there are no other nomads out there that want to hurt me. I don't think I can take anymore."

"That goes for all of us."

_**Ugh, he's back. **_**Rosalie, of course.**

_**Ah, Edward I hate to see him suffering so. **_**Esme's joy was becoming marred by concern. She **_**should **_**be concerned. This love story she envisioned for me was careening toward a tragedy more perceptibly every moment.**

"OW! What was that for Rose?"

"I might not have agreed with you back then, but finding our mate is not a tragedy."

"I know that, Geez you almost gave me whiplash."

"Then next time maybe you'll think beforehand."

"I already have learned my lesson. The hard way."

"Can I read again now?"

"Of course, love."

_**Have fun in Port Angeles tonight, **_**Alice though cheerfully. **_**Let me know when I'm allowed to talk to Bella.**_

_**You're pathetic. I can't believe you missed the game last night just to watch somebody sleep, **_**Emmett grumbled.**

**Jasper paid me no mind, even when the song I played came out a little more stormily than I'd intended. It was an old song, with a familiar theme: impatience. Jasper was saying goodbye to his friends, who eyed me curiously.**

_**What a strange creature, **_**the Alice-sized, white-blond Charlotte was thinking. **_**And he was so normal and pleasant the last time we met. **_

"Edward, we need to tell your cousins that I'm pregnant. I have a feeling that something bad will happen if they don't see me pregnant."

"What sort of feeling?"

"The wolves killed Laurent, Irina is still very upset."

"I don't think we have anything to worry about, but I'll call them when we get settled in LaPush."

"Alright."

"It's a good job you thought of them Bella."

"Why? What am I missing?"

"I think it will be in these books. It might explain it better."

"Oh okay."

**Peter's thoughts were in sync with hers, as was usually the case.**

_**It must be the animals. The lack of human blood drives them mad eventually, **_**he was concluding. His hair was just as fair as hers, and almost as long. They were very similar – except for size, as he was almost as tall as Jasper – in both look and thought. A well matched pair, I'd always thought. **

**Everyone but Esme stopped thinking about me after a moment, and I played in more subdued tones so that I would not attract notice. I did not pay attention to them for a long while, just letting the music distract me from my unease. It was hard to have the girl out of sight and mind. I only returned my attention to their conversation when the goodbyes grew more final.**

"**If you see Maria again," Jasper was saying, a little warily, "tell her I wish her well." **

"I'm so glad that I haven't had to come up against her. She sounds horrible."

"She is."

"Sorry Jasper, I wasn't meaning it like that."

"I know you weren't. And after everything you've been through I don't blame you for thinking it."

"I just hope that we can live in peace now."

"That's what we all want little sister."

**Maria was the vampire who had created both Jasper and Peter – Jasper in the latter half of the nineteenth century, Peter more recently, in the nineteen forties. She'd locked Jasper up once where we were in Calgary. It had been an eventful visit – we'd had to move immediately. Jasper had politely asked her to keep her distance in the future. **

"**I don't imagine that will happen soon," Peter said with a laugh – Maria was undeniably dangerous and there was not much love lost between her and Peter. Peter had, after all, been instrumental in Jasper's defection. Jasper had always been Maria's favourite; she considered it a minor detail that she had once planned to kill him. "But should it happen, I certainly will."**

"I'm so glad you got away from her Jasper."

"Me too, little sister. Alice saved me."

"I know the feeling. If it weren't for her…"

"It's okay, love I'm here now."

"I know. Sorry it just… knowing I'm going to have to hear it again. It's hard."

"We'll get through it together."

**They were shaking hands then, preparing to depart. I let the song I was playing off to an unsatisfying end, and got hastily to my feet. **

"**Charlotte, Peter," I said, nodding.**

"**It was nice to see you again Edward," Charlotte said doubtfully. Peter just nodded in return.**

_**Madman, **_**Emmett threw after me.**

_**Idiot, **_**Rosalie thought at the same time. **

_**Poor boy. **_**Esme.**

**And Alice, in a chiding tone. **_**They're going straight east, to Seattle. Nowhere near Port Angeles. **_**She showed me the proof in her visions. **

**I pretended I hadn't heard that. My excuses were already flimsy enough. Once in my car, I felt more relaxed; the robust purr of the engine Rosalie had boosted for me – last year when she was in a better mood – was soothing. It was a relief to be in motion, to know that I was getting closer to Bella with every mile that flew away under my tires.**

"That's the end of the chapter."

"Who wants to read next?"

"I do."

Handing the book to Alice I cringed knowing what would happen next.

"Maybe we should take a break first."

"Alright, we can continue later."

"Aww man, why?"

"Because the next chapter is not going to be easy on me. And we need to move our things down to LaPush."

"Fine."

Sliding off the couch, I made the short journey up to our bedroom pulling out the suitcases from under the bed, I didn't know how I was going to get through the next chapter not once but twice the only thing getting me through was the knowledge that _Lonnie _was firmly behind bars. Pulling out clothes I started to pack just as the door opened, glancing back I smiled slightly seeing Rosalie standing in our doorway. No hiding from it now, I had to tell her what was on my mind. This was going to be an interesting conversation.


	15. Sisters Finally Port Angeles (Sonogram)

**Title:** Receiving The Books – The Cullens Read Midnight Sun

**Author:** Bella Katelyn

**Rating:** M

**Summary:** On their arrival home from their honeymoon, Bella and Edward find out that five books have been delivered to the Cullen house. Four from the past and one of the future. Follow my story as they sit down to read. How will Bella react when she hears Edward's thoughts for the first time? How will Edward react when he realises Bella's feelings for him mirrored his own?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to author Stephanie Meyer, and are brought to the fandom by Summit Entertainment. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours. With that said I hope you enjoy this story as much as I'm going to enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Sisters Finally**

**BPOV**

With Rosalie waiting patiently for me to talk, I curled myself up on the bed taking a deep breath as I prepared to lay my feelings bare on everything that had happened that night in Port Angeles. I didn't need to have vampire senses to know that this was one conversation Rose wouldn't take no for an answer on, especially considering everything she had been through before she was reborn. Looking my big sister in the eyes, I tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over. Before I could start talking I was in Rose's comforting arms. This alone gave me the confidence to talk.

"That night when we were in Port Angeles, I went to head toward the bookstore, it was just before I found out exactly what you were, I didn't know for sure until Edward let some things slip, and of course you know that Jake told me. I ended up getting lost, the next thing I knew two men were following me, at first I thought they just wanted to mug me I prepared to drop my bag and make a run for it. Then I turned the corner and found out I was…being herded. As frightened as I was the minute I heard Edward's voice it all disappeared. That was the first time I knew as long as Edward was by my side I would be safe."

"You kept all this hidden for so long."

"Edward was already fuming at the time; I didn't want to bring it up again."

"What has you so scared?"

"Hearing what they were thinking mainly. Then having to relive it when it comes to my thoughts."

"Oh, Bella. You should have spoken to someone, if not Edward than me. You know my story."

"I didn't know how to. Until these books arrived I thought I'd dealt with it."

"If you need to talk then you know where I am."

"Thanks Rose. I suppose the quicker we get this chapter read, the better I'll feel. I'm just scared."

"Edward will be next to you and if it helps I'll sit on the other side of you."

"That would help a lot. Thank you."

"Come on then, and I promise if it becomes too much, we'll get you and Edward moved into LaPush and then come back to it."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Being here for me."

"You're my sister. It's what we do."

Taking a deep breath, I slid off our bed, knowing that everything I'd just said to Rose had been heard by every other member of my family. I only hoped Emmett would stop and think before making any snide remarks. The minute I saw Edward, I walked faster, being careful not to trip on my way downstairs, making my way into Edward's arm, from the corner of my eye I noticed Carlisle had the book in his hands preparing to read. Just as Rose sat down next to me, Carlisle found the next chapter preparing to read again.

"Are we ready to begin again?"

"Yes, I'm sorry I just needed to get myself together."

"It's perfectly understandable. alright this chapter is called Port Angeles."

* * *

**Port Angeles**

**It was too bright for me to drive into town when I got to Port Angeles; the sun was still too high overhead, and, though my windows were tinted dark, there was no reason to take unnecessary risks. **_**More **_**unnecessary risks, I should say. I was certain I would be able to find Jessica's thoughts from a distance – Jessica's thoughts were louder than Angela's, but once I found the first, I'd be able to hear the second. Then, when the shadows lengthened, I could get closer. For now, I pulled off the road onto an overgrown driveway just outside the town that appeared to be infrequently used.**

"That was your car I saw there?"

"Yes, love it was. You just couldn't see who was inside."

"That makes me feel a lot better."

"Your safety always comes first."

"I know. Like I just said to Rose, when you're with me I always feel safe."

"I love you sweetheart."

"I love you too."

**I knew the general direction to search in – there was really only one place for dress shopping in Port Angeles. It wasn't long before I found Jessica, spinning in front of a three way mirror, and I could see Bella in her peripheral vision, appraising the long black dress she wore. **

_**Bella still looks pissed. Ha ha. Angela was right – Tyler was full of it. I can't believe she's so upset about it, though. At least she knows she has a back-up date for the prom. What if Mike doesn't have fun at the dance, and he doesn't ask me out again? What if he asks Bella to the prom? Would she have asked Mike to the dance if I hadn't said anything? Does he think she's prettier than me?**_

"Well isn't she just a wonderful ball of fakeness."

"I can't believe she actually thought this way. I trusted her with everything."

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way, love."

"It's okay; I sort of guessed she wasn't really my friend after my stinking birthday."

"What did she do?"

"You'll find out Emmett and trust me you won't like it."

"Oh boy. Well let's get this one and Twilight over with first."

"What joy."

"I'll protect you, love."

"I know you will."

"_**I think I like the**_ _**blue one better. It really brings out your eyes."**_

**Jessica smiled at Bella with false warmth, while eyeing her suspiciously.**

_**Does she really think that? Or does she want me to look like a cow on Saturday?**_

"Ugh not everyone is like you, I actually care about people."

"Bells you do know that you're talking to a book."

"Yes Emmett, I am well aware of that, I'm just annoyed with myself for trusting her for so long."

"It's not your fault, she's good at pretending. Her jealousy got the better of her."

"All I did was fall in love, I am not into popularity."

"We know, but tell Jess that and she wouldn't believe it."

"Well it's about time she did."

"I agree."

"What did you have in mind Alicat."

"We'll talk about it later."

"Alright."

**I was already tired of listening to Jessica. I searched close by for Angela – ah Angela was in the process of changing dresses, and I skipped quickly out of her head to give her some privacy. Well, there wasn't much trouble Bella could get into in a department store.**

"Famous last words."

"Don't remind me."

"Well we're reading about it so we're going to relive it."

"We'll get through it, together."

"I wouldn't be here listening to it if I thought anything else. And Rose is here, that helps."

"Hey what about us?"

"You too Emmett."

**I'd let them shop and then catch up with them when they were done. It wouldn't be long until it was dark – the clouds were beginning to return, drifting in from the west. I could only catch glimpses of them through the thick trees, but I could see how they would hurry the sunset. I welcomed them, craved them more than I ever yearned for their shadows before. Tomorrow I could sit beside Bella in school again, monopolise her attention at lunch again. I could ask her all the questions I'd been saving up…**

"Little did you know I'd know your secret."

"Mm, you definitely scared me. But at the same time I was relieved."

"Unlike everyone else. I can understand why though."

"We got through it."

"And I couldn't be happier."

"Me either. I love you."

"Love you too."

**So, she was furious about Tyler's presumption. I'd seen that in his head – that he'd meant it literally when he'd spoken of the prom, that he was staking a claim. I could picture her expression from that other afternoon – the outraged disbelief – and I laughed. I wondered what she would say to him about this. I wouldn't want to miss her reaction. The time went slowly while I waited for the shadows to lengthen. I checked in periodically with Jessica; her mental voice was the easiest to find, but I didn't like to linger there long. I saw the place they were planning to eat. It would be dark by dinner time…maybe I would coincidentally choose the same restaurant. I touched the phone in my pocket, thinking of inviting Alice out to eat…**

"I love you."

"I love you too sweetheart."

"Hearing your thoughts, I realise just how much you've always loved me no matter what happened."

"I'll love you forever."

"I'm sorry I doubted it."

"You're forgiven. After all it's not like I was making sense most of the time."

"That's true."

"You are my everything."

"Enough with the mushy stuff I want to continue reading."

"Shut up Emmett!"

"Humph!"

**She would love that, but she would also want to talk to Bella. I wasn't sure if I was ready to have Bella **_**more **_**involved with my world. Wasn't one vampire trouble enough?**

"_**Maybe I should take the necklace back. I've got one at home that would probably work, and I spent more than I was supposed to…" My mom is going to freak out. What was I thinking?**_

"_**I don't mind going back to the store. Do you think Bella will still be looking for us though?"**_

"I'm not sure I am ready for this."

"It'll be okay, Rose and I are here."

"Right, deep breaths."

"Are you sure you're going to be okay."

"Mm hm."

**What was this? Bella wasn't with them? I stared through Jessica's eyes first, then switched to Angela's. They were on the sidewalk in front of a line of shops, just turning back the other way. Bella was nowhere in sight.**

_**Oh, who cares about Bella? **_**Jess thought impatiently, before answering Angela's question. "**_**She's fine. We'll get to the restaurant in plenty of time, even if we go back. Anyway, I think she wanted to be alone." **_**I got a brief glimpse of the bookstore Jessica thought Bella had gone to.**

"Well isn't she nice. I have a feeling I'm going to have to remind her about this."

"How do you plan on doing that?"

"By telling her exactly what happened in that alleyway. She needs to learn she can't talk about people behind their backs and get away with it."

"Go Bella!"

"Why thank you."

"_**Let's hurry, the." **_**Angela said. **_**I hope Bella doesn't think we ditched her. She was so nice to me in the car before… She's a really sweet person. But she seemed kind of blue all day. I wonder if it's because of Edward Cullen? I'll bet that was why she was asking about his family…**_

**I should have been paying attention. What else had I missed here? Bella was off wandering by herself, and she'd been asking about me before? Angela was paying attention to Jessica now – Jessica was babbling about that idiot Mike – and I could get nothing more from her.**

"I was thinking of calling Angela and see if she wants to go shopping."

"I think she'd really enjoy that."

"I'm starting to think she and Ben are the only ones worth keeping in contact with."

"They are. But I still have hope for Jess."

"I'm hoping so."

"Guess only time will tell."

**I judged the shadows. The sun would be behind the clouds soon enough. If I stayed on the west side of the road, where the buildings would shade the street from the fading light… I started to feel anxious as I drove through the sparse traffic into the centre of the town. This wasn't something I had considered – Bella taking off on her own – and I had no idea how to find her. I **_**should **_**have considered it. I knew Port Angeles well; I drove straight to the bookstore in Jessica's head, hoping my search would be short, but doubting it would be so easy. When did Bella ever make it easy?**

"Hey I resent that."

"Sorry, love."

"It's alright. I understand. Danger magnet remember."

"Let's hope the danger is behind us."

"I really hope so."

**Sure enough, the little shop was empty except for the anachronistically dressed woman behind the counter. This didn't look like the kind of place Bella would be interested – too new age for a practical person. I wondered if she'd even bothered to go in? There was a patch of shade I could park in… It made a dark pathway right up to the overhang of the shop. I really shouldn't. Wandering around in the sunlight hours was not safe. What if a passing car threw the sun's reflection into the shade at just the wrong moment? But I didn't know how else to look for Bella! I parked and got out, keeping to the deepest side of the shadow. I strode quickly into the store, noting the faint trace of Bella's scent in the air. She had been here, on the sidewalk, but there was no hint of her fragrance inside the shop.**

"I didn't bother going inside. It was full of that crystal and witch type stuff."

"I thought that would be the case. It's at this point you should have turned around."

"Well I know that now."

"Bella are you sure you want to continue?"

"I'm sure. The longer we put it off the more I'll try and back out of it."

"Alright."

"**Welcome! Can I help –." the saleswoman began to say, but I was already out the door. I followed Bella's scent as far as the shade would allow, stopping when I got to the edge of the sunlight. How powerless it made me feel – forced in by the line between dark and light that stretched across the sidewalk in front of me. So limited. **

**I could only guess that she'd continued down the street, heading south. There wasn't really much in the direction. Was she lost? Well, that possibility didn't sound entirely out of character. I got back in the car and drove slowly through the streets, looking for her. I stepped out into a few other patches of shadow, but I only caught her scent once more, and the direction of it confused me. Where was she trying to go?**

"I got lost, and Emmett before you laugh now really isn't the time."

"I wasn't going to say anything."

"Good."

"Humph."

Leaning against Edward's chest I took hold of Rose's hand tightly, knowing it wouldn't be long until I would be faced with _their _thoughts, I thought I'd dealt with everything that happened that night, like I'd said to Edward I was good at blocking out unpleasant experiences, but hearing it read out loud again was taking me back to that place. Taking a deep breath, I inhaled Edward's scent as I heard Carlisle's voice as he read.

**I drove back and forth between the bookstore and the restaurant a few times, hoping to see her on the way. Jessica and Angela were already there, trying to decide whether to order, or wait for Bella. Jessica was pushing for ordering immediately. I began flitting through the minds of strangers, looking through their eyes. Surely, someone must have seen her somewhere. I got more and more anxious the longer she remained missing. I hadn't considered before how difficult she might prove to find once, like now, she was out of my sight and off her normal paths. I didn't like it.**

I shivered, clinging to Edward's shirt as I tried to control my nerves. Even with Edward's arms around me and Rose running soothing circles on the palm of my hand I couldn't push back the fear of actually hearing what those rapists were thinking about me. Taking deep breaths I closed my eyes focusing on Edward's scent allowing it to calm my nerves as I focused once again on the book.

"Are you okay to continue Bella?"

"Mm. Sorry about that."

"It's understandable."

**The clouds were massing on the horizon, and, in a few more minutes, I would be free to track her on foot. It wouldn't take me long then. It was only the sun that made me so helpless now. Just a few more minutes, and then the advantage would be mine again and it would be the human world that was powerless. Another mind, and another. So many trivial thoughts.**

…_**think the baby has another ear infection…**_

_**Was it six-four-oh or six-oh-four…?**_

_**Late again. I ought to tell him…**_

_**Here she comes! Aha!**_

**There, at last, was her face. Finally someone had noticed her! The relief lasted for only a fraction of a second, and then I read more fully the thoughts of the man who was gloating over her face in the shadows. His mind was a stranger to me and yet, not totally unfamiliar. I had once hunted exactly such minds.**

"It never happens, it never happens."

"Bella, love take deep breaths."

"I shouldn't have left Jess and Angela."

"You weren't to know what would happen."

"Still…"

"Bella listen to me. You are not to blame, they would have followed you whatever you did."

"S-sorry."

"You've no need to be sorry."

"Really?"

"Really."

"O-okay."

"**No!" I roared, and a volley of snarls erupted from my throat. My foot shoved the gas pedal to the floor, but where was I going? I knew the general location of his thoughts, but the knowledge was not specific enough. Something, there had to be something – a street sign, a store front, something in his sight that would give away his location. But Bella was deep in the shadow, and his eyes were focused on her frightened expression – enjoying the fear there. Her face was blurred in his mind by the memory of other faces. Bella was not his first victim.**

"If I'd have been there I wouldn't have let them live."

"We all know how you would have reacted Rose, but my main priority was Bella."

"I can understand that, and now Bella has explained how she was feeling then, I understand so much more."

"Thank you."

"No need."

**The sound of my growls shook the frame of the car, but did not distract me.**

**There were no windows in the wall behind her. Somewhere industrial, away from the more populated shopping district. My car squealed around a corner, swerving past another vehicle, heading in what I hoped was the right direction. By the time the other driver honked, the sound was far behind me.**

I clutched hold of Edward's shirt and Rose's hand at the same time knowing what would happen next. Taking a deep breath I inhaled Edward's honey, lavender and sunshine scent allowing it to calm my nerves before I had a full on panic attack. Carlisle had stopped reading waiting for me to get my bearings. Nodding slowly, I let him know that I was alright smiling reassuringly as he continued to read.

_**Look at her shaking! **_**The man chuckled in anticipation. The fear was the draw for him – the part he enjoyed.**

"_**Stay away from me." **_**Her voice was low and steady, not a scream.**

"_**Don't be like that, sugar."**_

**He watched her flinch to a rowdy laugh that came from another direction. He was irritated with the noise – **_**Shut up, Jeff! **_**he thought - but he enjoyed the way she cringed. It excited him. He began to imagine her pleas, the way she would beg… I hadn't realised that things that were others with him until I heard the loud laughter. I scanned out from him, desperate for something that I could use. He was taking the first step in her direction, flexing his hands.**

"I hate this! I hate hearing it again."

"I'm sorry, love."

"Not your fault. You weren't to know we would be sent these."

"I still don't like to see you hurting."

"The same goes for me."

**The minds around him were not the cesspool that his was. They were all slightly intoxicated, not one of them realising how far the man called Lonnie planned to go with this. They were following Lonnie's lead blindly. He'd promised them a little fun… One of them glanced down the street, nervous – he didn't want to get caught harassing the girl – and gave me what I needed. I recognised the cross street he stared toward. I flew under a red light, sliding through a space just wide enough between two cars in the moving traffic. Horns blared behind me. **

"Dude this is so not cool. Why didn't you tell us any of this."

"Because I didn't want to tell anyone. The only one I told was Carlisle because he could help me knock them out."

"And you wanted to focus on Bella first."

"Mm, I'm sure you can understand that more than anyone."

"I can."

**My phone vibrated in my pocket. I ignored it.**

**Lonnie moved slowly toward the girl, drawing out the suspense – the moment of terror that aroused him. He waited for her scream, preparing to savour it. But Bella locked her jaw and braced herself. He was surprised – he'd expected her to try and run. Surprised and slightly disappointed. He liked to chase his prey down the adrenaline of the hunt. **

_**Brave, this one. Maybe better, I guess…more fight in her. **_

**I was a block away. The monster could hear the roar of my engine now, but he paid it no attention, too intent on his victim. I would see how he enjoyed the hunt when he was the prey. I would be what he thought of **_**my **_**style of hunting.**

"Big bad scary vampire."

"You said it."

"Although you're not as big and scary as you think you are."

"You really shouldn't have said that."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

**In another compartment of my head, I was already sorting through the range of tortures I'd born witness to in my vigilante days, searching for the most painful of them. He would suffer for this. He would writhe in agony. The others would merely die for their part, but the monster named **_**Lonnie **_**would beg for death long before I would give him that gift. He was in the road, crossing toward her. I spun sharply around the corner, my headlights washing across the scene and freezing the rest of them in place. I could have run down the leader, who leapt out of the way, but that was too easy a death for him.**

"I've never been happier to see you than I was in that moment."

"I could tell."

"You are my safe haven."

"As you are mine, love."

**I let the car spin out, swinging all the way around so that I was facing back the way I'd come and the passenger door was closest to Bella. I threw it open, and she was already running toward the car.**

"**Get in," I snarled.**

_**What the hell?**_

_**Knew this was a bad idea! She's not alone.**_

_**Should I run?**_

_**Think I'm going to throw up.**_

**Bella jumped through the open door without hesitating, pulling the door shut behind her. And then she looked up at me with the most trustful expression I had ever seen on a human face, and all my violent plans crumbled.**

"Just like that?"

"Mm, seeing the trust in your eyes made me realise you came first."

"I love you."

"As I love you."

**It took much, much less than a second for me to see that I could not leave her in the car in order to deal with the four men in the street. What would I tell her, not to watch? Ha! When did she ever do what I asked? When did she ever do a safe thing? Would I drag them away, out of her sight, and leave her alone here? It was a long shot that another dangerous human would be prowling the streets of Port Angeles tonight, but it was a long shot that there was even the first! Like a magnet, she drew all things dangerous toward herself. I could not let her out of my sight. **

"You worry too much."

"Mm I have been told that once or twice."

"You need to stop. Nothing is going to happen to me."

""I know, I know I'll try I promise."

"That's all I ask."

**It would feel like part of the same motion to her as I accelerated, taking her away from her pursuers so quickly that they gaped after my car with uncomprehending expressions. She would not recognise my instant of hesitation. She would assume the plan was escape from the beginning. I couldn't even hit him with my car. That would frighten her.**

"Oh yeah, I was contemplating karate moves but hitting him with your car would have frightened me. Are you crazy?"

"Well I couldn't read your mind then."

"I just wish I'd remembered that pepper spray."

"Mm that might have been easier."

"But you saved me, that's what matters. You trusted yourself."

"I suppose I did."

"And that's one of the many reasons why I love you."

"I love you too."

**I wanted his death so savagely that the need for it rang in my ears and clouded my sight and was a flavour on my tongue. My muscles were coiled with the urgency, the craving, the necessity of it. I **_**had **_**to kill him. I would peel him slowly apart, piece by piece, skin from muscle, muscle from bone.**

"Oh eww, gross."

"Sorry, love."

"It's alright; it just made me a little queasy."

"You were the only one stopping me from doing that."

"Well then I'm glad that I was in the car."

"Me too."

**Except that the girl – the only girl in the world – was clinging to her seat with both hands, staring at me, her eyes still wide and utterly trusting. Vengeance would have to wait. **

"**Put your seatbelt on," I ordered. My voice was rough with hate and bloodlust. Not the usual bloodlust. I would not sully myself by taking any part of that man inside me. **

**She locked the seatbelt into place, jumping slightly at the sound it made. That little sound made her jump, yet she did not flinch as I tore through the town, ignoring all traffic guides. I could feel her eyes on me. She seemed oddly relaxed. It didn't make sense to me – not with what she'd just been through.**

"I probably would have been scared if you weren't with me."

"You really do stay calm around me?"

"It's a two way thing don't think I haven't noticed that you relax by my touch."

"Mm."

"**Are you okay?" she asked, her voice rough with stress and fear.**

_**She **_**wanted to know if **_**I **_**was okay? I thought about her question for a fraction of a second. Not long enough for her to notice the hesitation. **_**Was **_**I okay?**

"**No," I realised, and my tone seethed with rage. **

**I took her to the same unused drive where I'd spent the afternoon engaged in the poorest surveillance ever kept. It was black now under the trees. I was so furious that my body froze in place there, utterly motionless. My ice-locked hands ached to crush her attacker, to grind him into pieces so mangled that his body could never be identified…**

"Wow I didn't know…"

"You couldn't have known my thoughts any more than I knew yours…until now."

"You seemed so calm on the outside."

"I didn't want you to be scared of me."

"I never could be. You're everything to me."

**But that would entail leaving her here alone, unprotected in the dark night. **

"**Bella?" I asked through my teeth.**

"**Yes?" she responded huskily. She cleared her throat. **

"**Are you all right?" That wasn't the most important thing, the first priority. Retribution was secondary. I **_**knew **_**that, but my body was so filled with rage that it was hard to think.**

"**Yes." Her voice was still thick – with fear, no doubt.**

**And so I could not leave her. **

"I was already anxious about why you hadn't been in school."

"I could tell."

"So did me threatening to paralyse Tyler work?"

"A little."

**Even if she wasn't at constant risk for some infuriating reason – some joke the universe was playing on me – even if I could be **_**sure **_**that she would be perfectly safe in my absence, I could not leave her alone in the dark. She must be so frightened. Yet I was in no condition to comfort her – even if I knew exactly how that was to be accomplished, which I didn't. Surely she could feel the brutality radiating out of me, surely that much was obvious. I would frighten her even more if I could not calm the lust for slaughter boiling inside me.**

"Mm, me talking about Tyler was probably a bad idea."

"No, I enjoyed hearing your thoughts. I focused on your voice."

"Well I'm glad that I could help even if it was only a little bit."

"Are we ready to continue?"

"Yes, Sorry."

"It's alright."

**I needed to think of something else.**

"**Distract me, please," I pleaded.**

"**I'm sorry, what?" **

**I barely had enough control to explain what I needed.**

"**Just prattle about something unimportant until I calm down," I instructed, my jaw still locked. Only the fact that she needed me held me inside the car. I could hear the man's thoughts, his disappointment and anger… I knew where to find him…I closed my eyes, wishing that I couldn't see anyways…**

"**Um…" she hesitated = trying to make sense of my request, I imagined. "I'm going to run over Tyler Crowley tomorrow before school?" she said this like it was a question.**

"Well it's not every day I get told to talk to someone while they stop being angry. I was a little confused."

"I could tell."

"Dude you are so whipped."

"And you are a child."

"Hey! Boys let your father read."

"Sorry."

**Yes – this is what I needed. Of course Bella would come up with something unexpected. Like it had been before, the threat of violence coming through her lips was hilarious – so comical it was jarring. If I had not been burning with the urge to kill. I would have laughed.**

"**Why?" I barked out to force her to speak again.**

"**He's telling everyone that he's taking me to prom," she said her voice filled with her tiger-kitten outrage. "Either he's insane or he's still trying to make up for almost killing me last… well you remember it," she inserted dryly, "and he thinks **_**prom **_**is somehow the correct way to do this. So I figured if I endanger his life, then we're even, and he can't keep trying to make amends. I don't need enemies and maybe Lauren would back off if he left me alone. I might have to total his Sentra though," she went on, thoughtful now. "If he doesn't have a ride he can't take anyone to prom…"**

"You know, looking back. I really did want to total that Sentra."

"I could tell."

"But keeping you calm was my main thought."

**It was encouraging to see that she sometimes got things wrong. Tyler's persistence had nothing to do with the accident. She didn't seem to understand the appeal she held for the human boys at the high school. Did she not see the appeal she had for me, either?**

"Oh I saw the appeal I had for you, because I felt the same way. And the only reason I didn't see it with them was because my every waking minute was spent thinking and watching you."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. I'm sure you're going to find out very soon exactly how much."

"I can't wait."

"I can tell."

**Ah, it was working. The baffling processes of her mind were always engrossing I was beginning to gain control of myself to see something beyond vengeance and torture… **

"**I heard about that," I told her. She had stopped talking, and I needed her to continue.**

"_**You **_**did?" she asked incredulously.**

**And then her voice was angrier than before. "If he's paralysed from the neck down, he can't go to the prom either." **

**I wished there was some way I could ask her to continue without threats of death and bodily harm without sounding insane. She couldn't have picked a better way to calm me. And her words – just sarcasm in her case, hyperbole – was a reminder I dearly needed in this moment.**

"Sorry."

"No need to apologise, love."

"I should have chosen a different topic."

"Anything that comes from your beautiful mind is worth a little self-control on my part."

"I love you."

"I love you too, angel."

**I sighed, and opened my eyes.**

"**Better?" she asked timidly. **

"**Not really."**

**No, I was calmer, but not better. Because I'd just realised that I could not kill the monster named Lonnie, and I still wanted that more than almost anything else in the world. Almost. The only thing in this moment that I wanted more than to commit a highly justifiable murder was this girl. And, though I couldn't have her, just the dream of having her made it impossible for me to go on a killing spree tonight – no matter how defensible such a thing might be.**

_You are pure and good and you shouldn't feel bad about wanting to hurt someone who put me in danger. You were protecting your mate. I'm not nor have I ever been frightened of you._

"I know, love."

"Ugh not again."

"Shut it Emmett."

**Bella deserved better than a killer. I'd spent seven decades trying to be something other than that – anything other than a killer. Those years of effort could never make me worthy of the girl sitting beside me. And yet, I felt that if I returned to that life – the life of a killer – for one night, I would surely put her out of my reach forever. Even if I didn't drink their blood – even if I didn't have that evidence blazing red in my eyes – wouldn't she sense the difference?**

"Not really. I'd already decided I wanted to be with you no matter what."

"Really?"

"Absolutely. You wanted to hurt the people that would have raped me; I don't see anything bad in that. I don't think our family would either."

"You truly are amazing."

"She's right you know. Any one of us would do the same thing."

"Well that makes me feel better."

"Good."

**I was trying to be good enough for her. It was an impossible goal. I would keep trying.**

"**What's wrong?" she whispered.**

**Her breath filled my nose, and I was reminded of why I couldn't deserve her. After all of this, even with as much as I loved her…she still made my mouth water I would give her as much honesty as I could. I owed her that.**

"**Sometimes I have a problem with my temper, Bella." **

"Sometimes, before you met Bella you were a constant ball of moodiness."

"I'd like to see you cope for as long as I did without finding my mate and then you see if you still say that."

"All right I guess I see your point."

"It's about time."

**I stared out into the black night, wishing both that she would hear the horror inherent in my words and also that she would not. **_**Run Bella run. Stay, Bella, stay. **_**"But it **_**wouldn't **_**be helpful for me to turn around and hunt down those…" Just thinking about it almost pulled me from the car. I took a deep breath, letting her scent scorch down my throat. "At least, that's what I'm trying to convince myself." **

"**Oh." **

**She didn't say anything else. How much had she learned by my words? I glanced at her furtively, but her face was unreadable. Blank with shock, perhaps. Well, she wasn't screaming. Not yet. **

"Oh I've just realised our first date is in this chapter."

"That's right sweetheart, you and your mushroom ravioli."

"Best food I've ever tasted."

"We will go back there I promise."

""Sounds good to me."

**It was quiet for a moment. I warred with myself, trying to be what I should be. What I couldn't be.**

"**Jessica and Angela will be worried," she said quickly. Her voice was very calm, and I was not sure how that could be. **_**Was **_**she in shock? Maybe tonight's events hadn't sunk in for her yet. "I was supposed to meet them."**

**Did she want to be away from me? Or was she just worried about her friends' worry?**

"The second one. I didn't want to leave your side."

"I kind of guessed that when you stayed with me at the restaurant."

"Every time I had to stay goodbye to you was hard."

"I'm sorry."

"We are together now, that's all I care about."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

**I didn't answer her, but I started the car and took her back. Every inch closer I got to the town, the harder it was to hold on to my purpose. I was just so **_**close **_**to him… If it was impossible – if I could never have nor deserve this girl – then where was the sense in letting the man go unpunished? Surely I could allow myself that much…**

"You think things over too much do you know that?"

"When it comes to you Bella I'll always over worry even when you're like me."

"I know you will. It just upsets me that you were so confused."

"You saved me."

_Love you._

**No. I wasn't giving up. Not yet. I wanted her too much to surrender. We were at the restaurant where she was supposed to meet her friends before I'd even begun to make sense of my thoughts. Jessica and Angela were finished eating, and both now truly worried about Bella. They were on their way to search for her, heading off along the dark street. It was not a good idea to be wandering –**

"**How did you know where…?" Bella's unfinished question interrupted me, and I realised that I had made yet another gaffe. I'd been too distracted to remember to ask her where she was supposed to meet her friends. But instead of finishing her inquiry and pressing the point, Bella just shook her head and half smiled.**

"**What did **_**that **_**mean?**

"You'll find out in the next book."

"I hate that we have to read mine first."

"I don't." I've wondered what your thoughts were back then for years."

"Well I' glad that you are enjoying them."

**Well, I didn't have time to puzzle over her strange acceptance of my stranger knowledge. I opened my door.**

"**What are you doing?" she asked, sounding startled.**

_**Not letting you out of my sight. Not allowing myself to be alone tonight. In that order. **_**"I'm taking you to dinner."**

**Well this should be interesting. It seemed like another night entirely when I'd imagined bringing Alice along and pretending to choose the same restaurant as Bella and her friends by accident. And now, here I was, practically on a date with the girl. Only it didn't count because I wasn't giving her a chance to say no.**

"I wouldn't have said no even if you'd asked me. My heart was already yours."

"I know that now."

"I think you two should go on more dates."

"Mm. I like that idea."

"We'll go back really soon."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

**She already had her door half open before I'd walked around the car – it wasn't usually so frustrating to have to move at an inconspicuous speed – instead of waiting for me to get it for her. Was this because she wasn't used to being treated like a lady, or because she didn't think of me as a gentleman? I waited for her to join me, getting more anxious as her girlfriends continued in toward the dark corner.**

"**Go stop Jessica and Angela before I have to track them down too," I ordered quickly. "I don't think I could restrain myself if I ran into your other friends again." No, I would not be strong enough for that.**

**She shuddered and then quickly collected herself. She took half a step after them, calling "Jess! Angela!" in a loud voice. They turned, and she waved her arm over her head to catch their attention.**

"Let me guess Jess was pissed again."

"Mm, I was always irritated by her thoughts."

"Poor baby. We've definitely got to get her back for torturing you."

"I agree."

"Yay!"

_**Bella! Oh she's safe! **_**Angela thought with relief.**

_**Late much? **_**Jessica grumbled to herself, but she, too, was thankful that Bella wasn't lost or hurt. This made me like her a little more than I had. They turned back and then stopped shocked, when they saw me beside her.**

_**Uh**_**-huh! Jess thought stunned. '**_**No freaking way!**_

_**Edward Cullen? Did she go away by herself to find him? But why would she ask about them being out of town if she knew he was her… **_**I got a brief flash of Bella's mortified expressed when she'd asked Angela if my family were often absent from school. **_**No, she couldn't have known, **_**Angela decided.**

"I always knew her thoughts would be kind."

"She has one of the kindest minds I've ever heard."

"That's why I want to keep her in my life. She's the only _human _friend I've had."

"Then we'll figure something out."

"Thank you Dad."

"You're welcome honey."

**Jessica's thoughts were moving past the surprise and on to suspicion. **_**Bella's been holding out on me.**_

"**Where have you been?" she demanded, staring at Bella, but peeking at me from the corner of her eye.**

"MINE!"

"Yes yours. Only yours."

"Sorry. I…I don't know what came over me."

"It's natural; you were claiming me as your mate."

"Wow."

"Wow indeed."

"**I got lost. And then I ran into Edward," Bella said, waving one hand toward me. Her tone was remarkably normal. Like that was truly all that had happened. She must be in shock. That was the only explanation for her calm.**

"**Would it be alright if I joined you?" I asked – to be polite. I knew they'd already eaten.**

_**Holy crap but he's hot! **_**Jessica thought her head suddenly slightly incoherent.**

**Angela wasn't much more composed. **_**Wish we hadn't eaten. Wow. Just. Wow.**_

**Now why couldn't I do that to Bella?**

"You do. Frequently."

"I love it when I'm able to make you lose your words."

"Mm I bet you do."

"You know what, love?"

"What?"

"You dazzle me just as much as I dazzle you."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Wow."

"**Er…sure," Jessica agreed.**

**Angela frowned. "Um, actually Bella, we already ate while we were waiting." She admitted. "Sorry."**

_**What? Shut up? **_**Jess complained internally.**

**Bella shrugged casually. So at ease. Definitely in shock. "That's fine – I'm not hungry."**

"**I think you should eat something," I disagreed. She needed sugar in her bloodstream – though it smelled sweet enough as it was, I though wryly.**

"You did good son. Even though she seemed calm, the shock was still there."

"Thank you Dad."

**The horror was going to come crashing down on her momentarily and an empty stomach wouldn't help. She was an easy fainter, as I knew from experience. These girls wouldn't be in danger if they went straight home. Danger didn't stalk **_**their **_**every step. And I'd rather be alone with Bella – as long as she was willing to be alone with me. **

"**Do you mind if I drive Bella home tonight?" I asked Jessica before Bella could respond. "That way you won't have to wait while she eats."**

"**Uh no problem, I guess…" Jessica stared intently at Bella, looking for some sign that this was what she wanted. **

"Ugh she is so annoying. I can't believe I thought she was my friend."

"She's very good at hiding her true feelings."

"Now I know why she…"

"Why she what, love."

"Why she was so easily let by Lauren, I lost my appeal when we were apart."

"Oh."

_**I want to stay…but she probably wants him to herself. Who wouldn't? **_**Jess thought. At the same time, she watched Bella wink. Bella **_**winked**_**?**

"**Okay," Angela said quickly, in a hurry to be out of the way if that was what Bella wanted. And it seemed that she did want that. "See you tomorrow, Bella…Edward." She struggled to say my name in a casual tone. Then she grabbed Jessica's hand and began towing her away. I would have to find some way to thank Angela for this.**

**Jessica's car was close by and in a bright circle of light cast by a streetlamp. Bella watched them carefully; a little crease of concern between her eyes, until they were in the car, so she must be fully aware of the danger she'd been in. Jessica waved as she drove away, and Bella waved back. It wasn't until the car disappeared that she took a deep breath and turned to look up at me.**

"And once again got lost in your eyes."

"Mm, I get lost in your eyes every day."

"Don't think I haven't guessed that already Mr Cullen."

"Oh is that so?"

"Yup. I have my spies."

"You Mrs Cullen will be the death of me."

"Not possible now shh I want to find out more."

"**Honestly I'm not hungry," she said.**

**Why had she waited for them to be gone before speaking? Did she truly want to be alone with me – even now, after witnessing my homicidal rage? Whether that was the case or not, she was going to eat something.**

"**Humour me," I said.**

**I held the restaurant door open for her and waited. She sighed and walked through. I walked beside her to the podium where the hostess waited. Bella still seemed entirely self-possessed. I wanted to touch her hand, her forehead, to check her temperature. But my cold hand would repulse her, as it had before.**

_Silly vampire._

"Yeah, yeah I know."

"What do you know."

"Oh nothing, Bella is just telling me I was being silly in the book."

"Well I can see her point."

"Gee thanks."

"Any time bro."

_**Oh, my, **_**the hostess's rather loud mental voice intruded into my consciousness. **_**My, oh my.**_

_MINE!_

"Yours."

**It seemed to be my night to turn heads. Or was I only noticing it more because I wished so much that Bella would see me this way? We were always attractive to our prey. I'd never thought so much about it before. Usually – unless, as with people like Shelly Cope and Jessica Stanley, there was constant repetition to dull the horror – the fear kicked in fairly quickly after the initial attraction. **

"**A table for two?" I prompted when the hostess didn't speak. **

"**Oh, er, yes. Welcome to La Bella Italia." **_**Mmm! What a voice! **_**"Please follow me." Her thoughts were preoccupied – calculating.**

_**Maybe she's his cousin. She couldn't be his sister, they don't look anything alike. But family, definitely. **_**He **_**can't be with**_** her.**

"Oh I hate her even more than I did back then."

"We had the last laugh."

"Maybe we should go back there and see if she's working again."

"You've been spending too much time with Emmett."

"Hey I resent that."

"Even if I have it's a good idea and you know it."

"I like the idea."

**Human eyes were clouded; they saw nothing clearly. How could this small-minded woman find my physical lures – snares for prey – so attractive, and yet be unable to see the soft perfection of the girl beside me?**

_**Well no need to help her out, just in case, **_**the hostess thought as she led us to a family sized table in the middle of the crowded restaurant. **_**Can I give him my number while she's there…? **_**She mused.**

**I pulled a bill from my back pocket. People were invariably cooperative when money was involved. Bella was already taking the seat the hostess indicated without objection. I shook my head at her and she hesitated, cocking her head to one side with curiosity. Yes she would be very curious tonight. A crowd was not the ideal place for this conversation.**

_Stupid bitch._

"Easy, love. Remember this was two years ago."

"I know I'm sorry it's just annoying to hear her thoughts."

"**Perhaps something more private?" I requested of the hostess, handing her the money. Her eyes widened in surprise, and then narrowed while her hand curled around the tip.**

"**Sure."**

**She peeked at the bill while she led us around a dividing wall.**

_**Fifty dollars for a better table? Rich, too. That makes sense – I bet his jacket cost more than my last paycheque. Damn. Why does he want privacy with her?**_

_Ha if she knew the real reason why we were talking in private she'd run a mile._

"Very true, love."

"What now?"

"Just that the hostess would run a mile if she knew the real things we were talking about that night."

"Oh now that would have been funny."

"Mm."

**She offered us a booth in a quiet corner of the restaurant where no one would be able to see us – to see Bella's reactions to whatever I would tell her. I had no clue as to what she would want from me tonight. Or what I would give her. How much had she guessed? What explanation of tonight's events had she told herself?**

"**How's this?" the hostess asked.**

"**Perfect," I told her and, feeling slightly annoyed by her resentful attitude toward Bella, I smiled widely at her, baring my teeth. Let her see me clearly.**

_Bet she loved that. I love you my Edward._

"I love you too."

_**Whoa. **_**"Um…your server will be right out." **_**He can't be real. I must be asleep. Maybe she'll disappear…maybe I'll write my number on his plate with ketchup…**_**She wandered away, listing slightly to the side.**

**Odd. She still wasn't frightened. I suddenly remembered Emmett teasing me in the cafeteria, so many weeks ago. **_**I'll bet I could have scared her better than that.**_

**Was I losing my edge?**

"Nope, I've just never felt safer than when I'm with you."

"You had me so confused."

"I can tell, it's quite nice to see that you're not good at everything."

"Ouch! That hurts."

"Aww poor baby."

"**You really shouldn't do that to people," Bella interrupted my thoughts in a disapproving tone. "It's hardly fair."**

**I stared at her critical expression. "What did she mean? I hadn't frightened the hostess at all, despite my intentions. "Do what?"**

"**Dazzle them like that – she's probably hyperventilating in the kitchen right now." **

**Hmm. Bella was very nearly right. The hostess was only semi-coherent at the moment, describing her incorrect assessment of me to her friend on the wait staff.**

"**Oh come on," Bella chided me when I didn't answer immediately. "You **_**have **_**to know the effect you have on people."**

"**I dazzle people?" That was an interesting way of phrasing it. Accurate enough for tonight. I wondered why the difference…**

"Oh dude, this is hilarious."

"What's so funny about my confusion?"

"The fact that you didn't know you dazzled that poor hostess."

"Well excuse me for not having any experience back then. I'm sure you were the same with Rose."

"Oh he was, he just doesn't like to talk about it."

"Rosie why…"

"That'll teach you to tease your brother now shut up and let Carlisle read."

"Fine."

"**You haven't noticed?" she asked, still critical. "Do you think everybody gets their way so easily?"**

"**Do I dazzle **_**you**_**?" I voiced my curiosity impulsively, and then the words were out and it was too late to recall them. **

**But before I had time to deeply regret speaking the words aloud she answered.**

"**Frequently." And she cheeks took on a faint pink glow.**

"Aww."

**I dazzled her. My silent heart swelled with a hope more intense than I could ever remember having felt before.**

"**Hello," someone said, the waitress introducing herself. Her thoughts were loud, and more explicit than the hostess's, but I tuned her out. I stared at Bella's face instead of listening, watching the blood spreading under her skin, noticing not how that made my throat flame, but rather how it brightened her fair face, how it set off the scream of her skin…**

**The waitress was waiting for something from me. Ah, she'd asked for our drink orders.**

"Wow, I really did dazzle you just as much huh?"

"Always, love."

"I didn't think I could have that effect on you until after."

"Silly Bella."

**I continued to stare at Bella, and the waitress grudgingly turned to look at her, too. **

"**I'll have a coke?" Bella said, as if asking approval.**

"**Two cokes," I amended. Thirst – normal, human thirst – was a sign of shock. I would make sure she had some extra sugar from the soda in her system. She looked healthy though. More than healthy. She looked radiant.**

"Like everyone keeps telling me now, but I feel anything but."

"What do you mean, love?"

"Well, I know that you think I have that pregnancy glow, but honestly, I feel like crap."

"Oh Bella."

"Sorry, it's just the hormones."

"Are you feeling sick again?"

"A little, I'm alright though I'm fully sated."

"Alright."

"**What?" she demanded – wondering why I was staring. I guessed. I was vaguely aware that the waitress had left. **

"**How are you feeling?" I asked.**

**She blinked surprised by the question. "I'm fine."**

"**You don't feel dizzy, sick, cold?"**

_Good job son._

"Thanks Dad. Just wait until you hear her answer."

**She was even more confused now. "Should I?"**

"**Well, I'm actually waiting for you to go into shock." I half-smiled expecting her denial. She would not want to be taken care of. **

**It took her a minute to answer me. Her eyes were slightly unfocused. She looked that way sometimes, when I smiled at her. Was she…dazzled?**

**I would love to believe that.**

"You did, I was trying to clear my head."

"And it happens just by looking at you."

"All the time."

"Wow."

"**I don't think that will happen. I've always been very good at repressing unpleasant things," she answered, a little breathless.**

**Did she have a lot of practice with unpleasant things, then? Was her life always this hazardous?**

"**Just the same," I told her. "I'll feel better when you have some sugar and food in you."**

**The waitress returned with the cokes and a basket of bread. She put them in front of me, and asked for my order, trying to catch my eye in the process. I indicated that she should attend to Bella, and then went back to tuning her out. She had a vulgar mind.**

"**Um…" Bella glanced quickly at the menu. "I'll have the mushroom ravioli."**

"So good. I wish I knew how to make it."

"Would you like that for dinner, love?"

"Mm, but how?"

"The deliver to the house."

"Oh that sounds perfect."

**The waitress turned back to me eagerly. "And you?"**

"**Nothing for me."**

**Bella made a slight face. Hm. She must have noticed that I never ate food. She noticed everything. And I always forgot to be careful around her. I waited until we were alone again.**

"**Drink," I insisted.**

**I was surprised when she complied immediately and without objection. She drank until the glass was entirely empty, so I pushed the second coke toward her, frowning a little. Thirst or shock?**

"A little of both I think. You'll find out what I mean in Twilight."

"I knew it. You're so stubborn."

"No I just didn't want to look weak in front of the boy I liked."

"Aww."

"Whipped."

"Are you saying you wouldn't do the same for me?"

"Wait, Rosie, no of course I would."

"Mm hm."

**She drank a little more and then shuddered once.**

"**Are you cold?"**

"**It's just the coke," she said, but she shivered again, her lips trembling slightly as if her teeth were about to chatter. **

**The pretty blouse she wore looked too thin to protect her adequately; it clung to her like a second skin, almost as fragile as the first. She was so frail, so mortal. "Don't you have a jacket?"**

"**Yes." She looked around herself, a little perplexed. "Oh – I left it in Jessica's car."**

"Ooooh, this is going to be embarrassing."

"What is?"

"The way I smelled your jacket."

"I thought it was adorable."

"Why thank you."

**I pulled off my jacket, wishing that the gesture was not marred by my body temperature. It would have been nice to have been able to offer her a warm coat. She stared at me, her cheeks warming again. What was she thinking now? I handed her the jacket across the table, and she put it on at once, and then shuddered again. Yes, it would be very nice to be warm. **

"**Thanks," she said. She took a deep breath, and then pushed the too long sleeves back to free her hands. She took another deep breath. Was the evening finally settling in? Her colour was still good; her skin was cream and roses against the deep blue of her shirt. **

I blushed tomato red trying to hide my face in Edward's chest.

"I've never seen you blush this much before."

"My reactions to Edward's scent in my words are going to be even worse."

"Oh goody."

"Wonderful." I mumbled.

"Emmett stop."

"Fine."

"**That colour blue looks lovely with your skin," I complimented her. Just being honest.**

**She flushed, enhancing the effect. She looked well, but there was no point in taking chances. I pushed the basket of bread toward her.**

"**Really," she objected, guessing my motives. "I'm not going into shock."**

"**You should be – a **_**normal **_**person would be. You don't even look shaken." I stared at her, disapproving, wondering why she couldn't be normal and then wondering if really wanted her to be that way.**

"**I feel very safe with you," she said, her eyes, again, filled with trust. Trust I didn't deserve.**

_You did deserve it. I don't like to hear you talk or even think like that._

"I'm sorry, love."

_It's alright, just remember that in future._

"I will."

**Her instincts were all wrong – backwards. That must but the problem. She didn't recognise danger the way a human being should be able to. She had the opposite reaction. Instead of running, she lingered. Drawn to what should frighten her… How could I protect her from myself when **_**neither **_**of us wanted that?**

"**This is more complicated than I'd planned," I murmured.**

**I could see her turning my words over in her head, and I wondered what she made of them. She took a breadstick and began to eat without seeming aware of the action. She chewed for a moment, and then leaned her head to one side thoughtfully.**

"Dude, you really don't know when you've got a good thing do you?"

"Shut up Emmett."

"Jeez just trying to lighten the mood."

"Well don't."

"Take all my fun away."

"**Usually you're in a better mood when your eyes are so light," she said in a casual tone.**

"I bet that scared you."#

"You have no idea."

"Sorry."

"You're forgiven. It was a relief to be able to be myself around you."

"Well then, I'm glad I found out that weekend."

"So am I."

**Her observation stated so matter of factly left me reeling. "What?"**

"**You're always crabbier when your eyes are black – I expect it then. I have a theory about that," she added lightly.**

**So she had come up with her own explanation. Of course she had. I felt a deep sense of dread as I wondered how close she'd come to the truth. **

"**More theories?" **

"**Mm-hm." She chewed on another bite, entirely nonchalant. As if she weren't discussing the aspects of a monster with the monster himself. **

"Whoa, you really were observant."

"Of course I was. I wanted to know everything about him."

"That's so cute."

"Thanks I think."

"Bella dear, I've ordered your food."

"Thank you Esme."

"Anything for you sweetheart."

"**I hope you were more creative this time…" I lied when she didn't continue. What I really hoped was that she was **_**wrong **_**– miles wide of the mark. "Or are you still stealing from comic books?"**

"**Well, no, I didn't get it from a comic book," she said, a little embarrassed. "But I didn't come up with it on my own, either."**

"**And?" I asked between my teeth. **

**Surely she would not speak so calmly if she were about to scream.**

**As she hesitated, biting her lip, the waitress reappeared with Bella's food. I paid the server little attention as she set the plate in front of Bella and then asked if I wanted anything.**

"I hated the way she was staring at you."

"I could tell, she wasn't hiding her intentions very well."

"I'd love to see her face if she saw us now. Maybe I'll ask Angela if she wants to go back there."

"I think she'd like that a lot."

"Mm."

**I declined, but asked for more coke. The waitress hasn't noticed the empty glasses. She took them and left. **

"**You were saying?" I prompted anxiously as soon as we were alone again.**

"**I'll tell you about it in the car," she said in a low voice. Ah, this would be bad. She wasn't willing to speak her guesses around others. "If…" she tracked on suddenly.**

"**There are conditions?" I was so tense I almost growled the words.**

"**I do have a few questions, of course."**

"**Of course," I agreed my voice hard.**

"Edward you're being so rude."

"I'm sorry."

"So you should be. I'm amazed she even spoke to you with your attitude."

_I understood._

"Love you."

_Love you too._

**Her questions would probably be enough to tell me where her thoughts were heading. But how would I answer them? With responsible lies? Or would I drive her away with the truth? Or would I say nothing, unable to decide? We sat in silence while the waitress replenished her supply of soda.**

"**Well go ahead," I said, jaw locked, when she was gone.**

"**Why are you in Port Angeles?"**

**That was too easy a question – for her. It gave away nothing, while my answer, if truthful would give away too much. Let her reveal something first.**

"**Next," I said.**

"**But that's the easiest one!"**

"**Next," I said again.**

"When you're persistent you can be a right pain in the behind."

"Ouch, love that hurts."

"Am I wrong?"

"Well, um I guess not."

"I understand why though. You were nervous."

"Truly I was."

**She was frustrated by my refusal. She looked away from me, down to her food. Slowly, thinking hard, she took a bite and chewed with deliberation. She washed it down with more coke, and then finally looked up at me. Her eyes were narrow with suspicion.**

"**Okay then," she said. "Let's say, hypothetically, of course, that someone could know what people are thinking, read minds, you know – with just a few exceptions."**

"Oh this is classic. I bet you were scared shitless."

"Well that's one way of looking at it."

"I just wanted you to trust me."

"I do, and believe it or not I did back then I was only just learning it though."

_Love you._

"Love you too."

**It could be worse.**

**This explained that little half-smile in the car. She was quick – no one else had ever guessed this about me. Except for Carlisle, and it had been rather obvious then, in the beginning, when I'd answered all his thoughts as if he'd spoken them to me. He's understood before I had… This question wasn't so bad. While it was clear she knew something was wrong with me, was not as serious as it could have been. Mind reading was after all, not a facet of the vampire canon. I went along with the hypothesis.**

"How wrong you were. Thanks to Jake I already knew."

"I still need to thank him for that."

"Thank him for breaking the treaty?"

"Mm."

"Why?"

"Because look where we are now."

"I guess that's true."

"Love you."

"Love you too."

**I went along with the hypothesis. **

"**Just **_**one **_**exception," I corrected. "Hypothetically."**

**She fought a smile – my vague honesty pleased her. "All right, with one exception then. How does that work? What are the limitations? How would…that someone…find someone else at exactly the right time? How would he know that she was in trouble?"**

"**Hypothetically?" **

"**Sure." Her lips twitched, and her liquid brown eyes were eager. **

"**Well," I hesitated. "If…that someone…"**

"**Let's call him Joe," she suggested. **

"You two are as stubborn as each other."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"I think it's a good thing because you balance each other out."

"Thanks Esme."

"Your welcome sweetheart. Your food is ready."

"Mm."

Taking the plate from Esme I turned slightly trying to get comfortable as I rested the plate against my legs beginning to eat my mushroom ravioli, it was just as delicious as the first time I'd had it but this time I didn't have to deal with jealous waitresses.

**I had to smile at her enthusiasm. Did she really think the truth would be a good thing? If my secrets were pleasant, why would I keep them from her?**

"**Joe, then," I agreed. "If Joe had been paying attention, the timing wouldn't have needed to be quite so exact." I shook my head and repressed a shudder at the thought of how close I had been to being too late today. "Only you could get into trouble in a town this small. You would have devastated their crime rate statistics for a decade, you know."**

**Her lips turned down at the corners, and she pouted. "We were speaking of a hypothetical case."**

**I laughed at her irritation.**

**Her lips, her skin… They looked so soft, I wanted to touch them. I wanted to press my fingertip against the corner of her frown and turn it up. Impossible. My skin would be repellent to her.**

_I wanted you to touch me; I wanted to touch you just as badly._

"You did?"

"Mm hm."

"Wow."

"**Yes, we were," I said, returning to the conversation before I could depress myself too thoroughly. "Shall we call you "Jane'?"**

**She leaned across the table, all humour and irritation gone from her wide wyes.**

"**How did you know?" she asked, her voice low and intense.**

**Should I tell her the truth? And if so what portion? **

**I wanted to tell her. I wanted to deserve the trust I could still see on her face.**

"**You can trust me, you know," she whispered, and she reached one hand forward as if to touch my hands while they rested on top of the empty table before me.**

**I pulled then back – hating the thought of her reaction to my frigid stone skin – and she dropped her hand.**

"That hurt. It felt like rejection."

"What do you mean?"

"I felt a need to touch him. I knew then that I was in love with him."

"Oh Bella. I seem to have made a mess all the way through."

"No, I still understood even though it stung for you to pull them away. Your touch soothes me."

"That's how I feel."

**I know that I could trust her with protecting my secrets; she was entirely trustworthy, good to the core. But I couldn't trust her not to be horrified by then. She **_**should **_**be horrified. The truth **_**was **_**horror. **

"**I don't know if I have a choice anymore," I murmured. I remembered that I'd once teased her by calling her exceptionally unobservant.' "I was wrong – you're much more observant than I gave you credit for." And, though she might not realise it, I'd given her plenty of credit already. She missed nothing.**

"**I thought you were always right," she said, smiling as she teased me. **

"**I used to be." I used to know what I was doing. I used to be always sure of my course. And now everything was chaos and tumult.**

**Yet I wouldn't trade it. I didn't want the life that made sense. Not if the chaos meant that I could be with Bella.**

"I felt that way, I didn't care that some aspects of life would be complicated, and all I wanted was you."

"You captured my heart in your hands and never let it go. Even when I gave you reason to."

"You're my soulmate, my best friend and my husband; I'd do anything for you."

"As I would you, my love."

"**I was wrong about you on one other thing as well," I went on, setting the record straight on another point. "You're not a magnet for accidents – that's not a broad enough classification. You are a magnet for **_**trouble. **_**If there is anything dangerous within a ten-mile radius, it will invariably find you." Why her? What had she done to deserve any of this?**

**Bella's face turned serious again. "And you put yourself into that category?" **

**Honesty was more important in regards to this question than any other. "Unequivocally." **

**Her eyes narrowed slightly – not suspicious now, but oddly concerned. She reached her hand across the table again, slowly and deliberately. I pulled my hands an inch away from her, but she ignored that, determined to touch me. I held my breath – not because of her scent now, but because of the sudden, overwhelming tension. Fear. My skin would disgust her. She would run away. **

**She brushed her fingertips lightly across the back of my hand. The heat of her gentle, willing touch was like nothing I'd ever felt before. It was almost pure pleasure. Would have been, except for my fear. I watched her face as she felt the cold stone of my skin, unable to breathe. A half smile turned up at the corners of her lips.**

"It was the first time you trusted me."

"I was terrified you'd pull away from me."

"Never. Wherever you are that's my home."

"I know, love. I know. How's your dinner?"

"Yummy, you want to try some?"

"I think I'll pass."

"Oh."

"What is it?"

"Well, I um…I know it sounds silly but I'd feel better if I had someone to throw up with me."

"Then my love I'll do whatever you want me to do even if it means eating meals with you."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Dude! You're really going to eat?"

"Yup."

"Wow."

"**Thank you," she said, meeting my stare with an intense gaze of her own. "That's twice now."**

**Her soft fingers lingered on my hand as if they found it pleasant to be there. **

**I answered her as casually as I was able. "Let's not try for three, agreed?"**

**She grimaced at that, but nodded. **

**I pulled my hands out from under hers. As exquisite as her touch felt, I wasn't going to wait for the magic of her tolerance to pass, to turn to revulsion. I hid my hands under the table. I read her eyes; though her mind was silent, I could perceive both trust and wonder there. I realised in that moment that I **_**wanted **_**to answer her questions. Not because I owed it to her. Not because I wanted her to trust me. I wanted her to **_**know **_**me.**

"Believe it or not I already did trust you. It'll probably be in the other book to go with this."

"I could tell, your face is very easy to read when you're happy."

"Mm, I know someone else who's like that."

"Oh and who would that be?"

"You."

"She has you there man, we all see that."

"Really?"

"Yup."

"Wow."

"**I followed you to Port Angeles," I told her, the words spilling out too quickly for me to edit them. I knew the danger of the truth, the risk I was taking. At any moment, her unnatural calm could shatter into hysterics. Contrarily, knowing this only had me talking faster. "I've never tried to keep a specific person alive before and it's much more troublesome than I would have believed. But that's probably just because it's you. Ordinary people see to make it through the day without catastrophes."**

**I watched her, waiting.**

**She smiled. Her lips curved up at the edges, and her chocolate eyes warmed. I'd just admitted to stalking her and she was smiling. **

"**Did you ever think that maybe my number was up that first time, with the van, and you've been interfering with fate?" she asked.**

"**That wasn't the first time," I said, staring down at the dark maroon table cloth, my shoulders bowed in shame. My barriers were down, the truth still spilling free recklessly. "Your number was up the first time I met you."**

"That's not true. Why would you think this?"

"Because I was scared you'd run away screaming."

"That will never happen. You're everything to me, everything."

"I love you my Bella."

"I love you too my Edward. Promise me next time you start feeling this way you'll talk to me."

"I promise."

**It was true, and it angered me. I had been positioned over her life like the blade of a guillotine. It was as if she had been marked for death by some cruel, unjust fate, and – since I'd proved an unwilling took – the same fate continued to try to execute her. I imagined the fate personified – a grisly, jealous hag, a vengeful harpy. I wanted something, someone, to be responsible for this – so that I would have something concrete to fight against. Something anything to destroy, so that Bella could be safe.**

**Bella was very quiet, her breathing had accelerated. I looked up at her, knowing I would finally see the fear I was waiting for. Had I not just admitted how close I'd been to killing her? Closer than the van that had come within slim inches of crushing her. And yet, her face was still calm, her yes still tightened only with concern.**

"I was nervous."

"What about, love?"

"How you would handle it, me knowing. I knew how everyone else would react, but you, I didn't want you to…to…"

"Oh, love. I'm sorry."

"Not your fault."

"I wish I could take those memories away from you."

"They hurt, but they made us stronger."

"I love you."

"Love you too."

"**You remember?" She had to remember that.**

"**Yes," she said, her voice level and grave. Her deep eyes were full of awareness. **

**She knew. She knew that I wanted to murder her.**

**Where were the screams?**

"Never going to happen."

"I know, love."

"Sorry, I interrupted again."

"It's okay, shall we continue?"

"Please do."

"**And yet here you sit," I said, pointing out the inherent contradiction.**

"**Yes, here I sit…because of you." Her expression altered, trained curious, as she unsubtly changed the subject. "Because somehow you knew how to find me today…?" **

**Hopelessly, I pushed one more time at the barrier that protected her thoughts, desperate to understand. It made no logical sense to me. How could she even care about the rest with that glaring truth on the table? She waited, only curious. Her skin was pale, which was natural for her, but it still concerned me. Her dinner sat nearly untouched in front of her. If I continued to tell her too much she was going to need a buffer when the shock wore off.**

"I don't think the shock truly kicked in until I after you dropped me off."

"What do you mean?"

"Well it will probably be in the other book but I showered and no matter how high it was I felt cold."

"That certainly sounds like shock."

"Thought so."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't want you to overreact and let's face it you do that a lot."

"You got me there, love."

"Am I forgiven?"

"Mm hm."

**I named my terms. "You eat, I'll talk."**

**She processed that for half a second, and then threw a bite in her mouth with a speed that believed her calm. She was more anxious for my answer than her eyes let on. **

"**It's harder than it should be – keeping track of you," I told her. "Usually I can find someone very easily, once I've heard their mind before."**

**I watched her face carefully as I said this. Guessing right was one thing, having it confirmed was another. She was motionless, her eyes wide. I felt my teeth clench together as I waited for her panic. But she just blinked once, swallowed loudly, and then quickly scooped another bite into her mouth. She wanted me to continue.**

"I knew you were going to tell me in this moment and I was thankful that you were finally going to be honest with you."

"I tried so hard to keep it away from you; I should have known going to LaPush would mean you'd find out."

"I wouldn't change anything; well maybe I wouldn't have tried to flirt with Jake to get the info out of him."

"Wait, you flirted with the dog."

"Rose."

"It's okay Esme yes I did, to find out what you were, because I love Edward, it's always been about loving him, changing for him is a necessity to make us equal."

"Alright I see your point."

"**I was keeping tabs on Jessica," I went on watching each word as it sank in. "Not carefully – like I said only you could find trouble in Port Angeles –" I couldn't resist adding that. Did she realise that other human lives were not so plagued with near death experiences or did she think she was normal? She was the furthest thing from normal I'd ever encountered. "And at first I didn't notice when you took off on your own, then I realised that you weren't with her anymore. I went looking for you, randomly searching through the thoughts of people on the street – to see if anyone had noticed you so I would know where you were. I had no reason to be worried…but I was strangely anxious…"**

"Wow you really were scared."

"Of course I was, the woman I love was lost and alone."

"I'm sorry, I never should have left Jess and Angela, but you know one good thing came out of it."

"Your right. Now we are together."

"Forever."

**My breath came faster as I remembered that feeling of panic. Her scent blazed in my throat and I was glad. It was a pain that meant she was alive. As long as I burned, she was safe. **

"**I started to drive in circles, still…listening." I hoped the word made sense to her. This had to be confusing. The sun was finally setting, and I was about to get out, and follow you on foot. And then –" **

**As the memory took me – perfectly clear and as vivid as if I was in the moment again – I felt the same murderous fury wash through my body, locking it into ice. I wanted him dead. I needed him dead. My jaw clenched tight as I concentrated on holding myself here at the table. Bella still needed me. That was what mattered. **

"**Then what?" she whispered, her dark eyes wide.**

"**I heard what they were thinking," I said through my teeth, unable to keep the words from coming out in a growl. "I saw your face in his mind." **

_I'm sorry. So sorry._

"You have no need to be sorry, love."

_But if I'd just stayed in place…_

"Then we wouldn't have had this conversation and I'd still be wondering if you loved me."

_I'd have found out eventually. Observant remember. _

"That's true."

"Dude! It's bad enough that you have silent conversations with Alice but now Bella, this is so not cool."

"Aww poor Emmybear."

"Humph."

**I could hardly resist the surge to kill. I still knew precisely where to find him. His black thoughts sucked at the night sky, pulling me toward them… I covered my face, knowing my expression was that of a monster, a hunter, a killer. I fixed her image behind my closed eyes to control myself, focusing only on her face. The delicate framework of her bones, the thin sheath of her pale skin – like silk stretched over glass, incredibly soft and easy to shatter. She was too vulnerable for this world. She **_**needed **_**a protector. And, through some twisted mismanagement of destiny, I was the closest thing available. I tried to explain my violent reaction that she would understand.**

"This should be interesting."

"Jasper, shut up!"

"Oh come on Ali you've got to admit you want to know to."

"I've already seen it."

"**It was very…hard – you can't imagine how hard – for me to simply take you away, and leave them…alive." I whispered. "I could have let you go with Jessica and Angela, but I was afraid if you left me alone. I would go looking for them." **

**For the second time tonight, I confessed to an intended murder. At least this one was defensible. She was quiet as I struggled to control myself. I listened to her heartbeat. The rhythm was irregular, but it slowed as the time passed until it was steady again. Her breathing, too, was low and even. I was too close to the edge. I needed to get her home before… Would I kill him, then? Would I become a murderer again when she trusted me? Was there any way to stop myself? She'd promised to tell me her latest theory when we were alone. Did I want to hear it? I was anxious for it, but would the reward for my curiosity be worse than not knowing? **

"I'm getting whiplash with your thoughts and you're not even feeling them right now."

"Try living through it."

"No thanks. It's bad enough feeling emotions."

"Even though it's hard to hear I'm glad I know now. I know that I was enough for you from the start."

"Of course you were, love. You are my life."

"I know. It's just…"

"I'm really not going to like New Moon am I?"

"Nope. Sorry."

"We'll get through it, together."

**At any rate, she must have had enough truth for one night. I looked at her again, and her face was paler than before, but composed. **

"**Are you ready to go home?" I asked.**

"**I'm ready to leave," she said, choosing her words carefully, as if a simple 'yes' did not fully express what she wanted to say.**

**Frustrating.**

**The waitress returned. She'd heard Bella's last statement as she'd dithered on the other side of the partition, wandering what more she could offer me. I wanted to roll my eyes at some of the offerings she had in mind.**

"**How are you doing?" she asked me.**

"**We're ready for the check, thank you," I told her, my eyes on Bella.**

"Bet she didn't like that."

"She was trying to figure out ways in order to give me her number."

"Unbelievable. I think whilst you and everyone else is moving our things to LaPush, I'll drive to Port Angeles with Angela and Jessica."

"Would you like to borrow the Volvo?"

"Actually, I'd like to drive my Mercedes I give up fighting it."

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Accepting my gift."

"Your welcome."

**The waitress's breathing spiked and she was momentarily – to use Bella's phrasing – dazzled by my voice. In a sudden moment of perception, hearing the way my voice sounded in this inconsequential human's head, I realised why I seemed to be attracting so much admiration tonight – unmarred by the usual fear. It was because of Bella. Trying so hard to be safe for her, to be less frightening, to a **_**human **_**I truly had lost my edge. The other humans saw only beauty now, with my innate horror so casually under control.**

_Mine! My husband, my mate. MINE!_

"Bella, love look at me."

"I'm sorry; I don't know what came over me."

"Your thoughts became possessive."

"Is that a bad thing or a good thing?"

"Well, I think it's a good thing but we should be careful, I don't want you to get stressed, it's not good for you or the baby."

"Alright."

"Better now?"

"Mm hm."

**I looked up at the waitress, waiting for her to recover herself. It was sort of humorous, now that I understood the reason. **

"**Sure," she stuttered. "Here you go."**

**She handed me the folder with the bill, thinking of the card she'd slid in behind the receipt. A card with her name and telephone number in it. Yes it was rather funny.**

"Glad you think it's funny, I think it's rude."

"Sorry, love."

"Not your fault I just can't believe she actually did that."

"I threw it away."

"Stupid bitch."

"Bella, language."

"Sorry."

**I had money ready again. I gave the folder back at once, so she wouldn't waste anymore time waiting for a call that would never happen.**

"**No change," I told her, hoping the size of the tip would assuage her disappointment. I stood and Bella quickly followed out. I wanted to offer her my hand, but I thought that might be pushing my luck a little too far for one night. I thanked the waitress, my eyes never leaving Bella's face. Bella seemed to be finding something amusing too.**

**We walked out; I walked as close beside her as I dared. Close enough that the warmth coming off her body was like a physical touch against the left side of my body.**

"Edward do you still have that jacket?"

"Mm hm. Why?"

"Can I have it?"

"Of course you can."

"Thank you."

"Can I ask why?"

"Because it smells of you."

"Aww so sweet?"

"Would you like it if I wore it before you used it?"

"Very much so."

"Alright then."

_Love you_

"Love you too."

**As I held the door for her, she sighed quietly, and I wondered what regret made her sad. I stared into her eyes, about to ask, when she suddenly looked at the ground, seeming embarrassed. It made me more curious, even as it made me reluctant to ask. The silence between us continued while I opened her door for her and then got into the car. I turned the heater on – the warmer weather had come to an abrupt end; the cold car must be uncomfortable for her. She huddled in my jacket, a small smile on her lips. I waited, postponing conversation until the lights of the broadwalk faded. It made me feel more alone with her.**

**Was that the right thing? Now that I was focused only on her, the car seemed very small. Her scent swirled through it with the current of the heater, building and strengthening. It grew into its own force, like another entity in the car. A presence that demanded recognition.**

"You're over thinking again."

"I know, I seem to have done that a lot in this manuscript."

"But you know what?"

"No what?"

"It you weren't like this, I think you wouldn't have trusted yourself."

"That's true."

Bella, sweetheart are you finished eating."

"Yes thank you. I'm thirsty."

"I already have your blood ready."

"Thank you."

Handing Esme the now empty plate I took the cup of mountain lion blood from her hands taking a long suck, feeling relief instantly. Resting my head back against Edward's chest I relaxed immediately inhaling his unique scent. As I got settled again I heard Carlisle begin to read again.

**It had that, I burned. The burning was acceptable, though. It seemed strangely appropriate to me. I had been given so much tonight – more than I'd expected. And here she was, still willingly at my side. I owed something in return for that. A sacrifice. A burnt offering. Now if I could just keep it to that; just burn, and nothing more. But the venom filled my mouth, and my muscles tensed in anticipation as if I were hunting… **

"It's that bad for you."

"Mm, but I hardly react to it anymore."

"I never want to be the reason for you being in pain."

"I know love."

"Is this chapter nearly done Carlisle?"

"I believe so yes."

"Would you do a sonogram afterward."

"Of course I'd be honoured."

**I had to keep such thoughts from my mind. And I knew what would distract me.**

"**Now," I said to her, fear of her response taking the edge off the burn. "It's your turn."**

"That's the end of the chapter."

"Oh maybe I should have waited to talk."

"No it's okay, should we do that sonogram now."

"Mm."

* * *

**First Sonogram**

**EPOV**

I didn't know exactly what Bella and Rosalie had spoken about whilst they were together but I was very grateful to my sister. For decades she'd hidden her true feelings on what that vile Royce King did and although I'd never intended for my thoughts to be read out, the fact that it had brought my wife and my sister together filled me with pride. Standing up slowly, I walked the short distance into Carlisle's office where he'd already set up. I knew Bella was tired, after we'd gotten done here I was going to make sure she would sleep. Laying her gently on the bed smiling as Bella lifted her (well my) t shirt over her small bump.

"Now Bella this may be cold I'm sorry about that."

"It's alright I'm used to the cold now."

"Well, yes I guess you are."

Taking hold of Bella's hand I noticed her flinch slightly as the gel hit her warm skin. Her head was turned toward the screen in anticipation, eager to see our child on the screen, my eyes followed hers just as Carlisle pushed the wand over Bella's belly. What he found very nearly made my heart start beating again. I didn't think it was possible for me to have one child never mind…twins.

"Is that…?"

"Yes, love it is."

"Twins?"

"Congratulations you two. We were blessed to have one grandchild and now we find out that it will be twins."

"Can you tell what they are yet?"

"Not yet it's too soon."

"Oh when will we be able to find out?"

"Around 20 weeks."

"Thanks Dad."

"Your welcome son. I'll let you get cleaned up, would you like pictures."

"Yes please."

Grabbing the towels I gently rubbed the slimy gel off Bella's belly just as Carlisle printed off the pictures of our twins. My gaze fell on Bella as I helped her sit up allowing the t shirt to whoosh back over her exposed bump. Her beautiful chocolate brown eyes were filled with love and adoration, I knew now more than ever I would need to take care of my family. My Bella truly was a gift from god.

* * *

**A/N The next chapter will continue from the end of this chapter in Bella's Point Of View. Thank you for all the wonderful reviews they keep me on the right track. Eager to complete this story, which will be my biggest fic to date.**


	16. Moving To LaPush

**Title:** Receiving The Books – The Cullens Read Midnight Sun

**Author:** Bella Katelyn

**Rating:** M

**Summary:** On their arrival home from their honeymoon, Bella and Edward find out that five books have been delivered to the Cullen house. Four from the past and one of the future. Follow my story as they sit down to read. How will Bella react when she hears Edward's thoughts for the first time? How will Edward react when he realises Bella's feelings for him mirrored his own?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to author Stephanie Meyer, and are brought to the fandom by Summit Entertainment. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours. With that said I hope you enjoy this story as much as I'm going to enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Moving To LaPush**

**BPOV**

After Carlisle performed the sonogram, I tried to comprehend everything Carlisle had discovered, not only was I giving Edward one child, I was giving him two. I'd never even considered the possibility of a multiple pregnancy, but now I couldn't think of anything else. Our children, half me and half Edward. Leaning against Edward's chest I felt my eyes growing heavy trying to fight the fatigue. Edward however had other ideas, lifting me into his arms, carrying me to bed. I was too tired to care, it didn't take long for Edward to get me into my PJ bottoms and another one of his t shirts, before I fell asleep, once Edward was laying next to me I snuggled closer to him laying my head against his chest thinking of our children. In my mind they looked exactly like their father. With thoughts of our children easing my mind, With Edward humming my lullaby I knew I'd sleep right through until morning

**The Next Morning**

The last thing I could remember before going to sleep was finding out about our little miracles, at first I'd thought it was just a dream, until I opened my eyes and saw the sonogram already in a frame on the bedside table. My stomach twisted as the now familiar queasiness began again. Before I could fully wake up I felt the bed bouncing which wasn't helping the nausea, as I rubbed the sleep from my eyes I groaned seeing our hyperactive sister. As much as I loved her I really wished she wasn't bouncing me around. Turning away from her I tried to ignore her, sighing as I tried to keep my dinner from the previous night down.

"Come on Bella wake up. Today is going to be a busy day."

"What time is it?"

"It's 6am. Now come on get up."

"Can you please stop bouncing?"

"Why?"

"Because you're making me feel more nauseated than I already feel."

"Thought you were feeling better?"

"That was yesterday."

"Fine, fine."

The minute Alice stopped bouncing on the bed, my stomach rolled uncomfortably; covering my mouth I rushed into the en suite bathroom reaching the porcelain god as I lost my dinner from the previous night. Taking deep breaths I rested my head against the cool tiling cursing Alice in my thoughts, forgetting that I had my shield down, I knew Edward would hear and come to investigate. Letting out a groan I pulled myself over the toilet again losing the last of my stomach contents. This time I heard Edward and Alice arguing in the bedroom.

"Alice what the hell! I told you to leave her alone."

"But we need to start moving your things down to LaPush."

"There are enough of us to pack, Bella needs her sleep."

"You're a party pooper at times do you know that Edward Cullen."

"When it comes to my wife I'll always be a "party pooper" as you call it."

"Fine, I'll leave it. For now."

"Thank you."

Leaning my head back against the cold tiles again, I let out a sigh of relief as my stomach started to ease off. Reaching up slowly, I went to flush the chain, yet cool marble fingers got there first, looking up; I smiled weakly looking into Edward's liquid gold eyes. Moving slightly I rested my head against his chest inhaling his scent allowing it to fill my nose and I once again found myself instantly relaxed, The cup of blood in his free hand hit my nose instantly.

"Is that for me?"

"Mm hm. I was just bringing it up when I heard your thoughts. Alice won't be bothering us for a while."

"I really did think my morning sickness had disappeared."

"It's normal for it to come and go."

"Drinking the blood makes it easier."

"I'm glad. Would you like a hand up?"

"Yes please. There's no point in going back to sleep now."

"You need your rest."

"I know, I promise I'll take a nap before I go meet Angela and Jessica."

"Alright. Would you like a human moment?"

"Yes please."

Placing my hand in Edward's I stood up slowly placing my cup of blood onto the side of the sink as I brushed my teeth thoroughly three times in order to get the vile taste from my mouth, I could vaguely hear Alice downstairs complaining about the argument with Edward. Rolling my eyes I rinsed my mouth out, pulling my hair into a tight ponytail making my way back into the bedroom pulling off the t shirt and PJ pants I'd worn for bed, sliding into a maroon maternity dress and ballet flats. Before I could call Edward's name to tell him I was ready he was already standing in the entrance to our closet. I couldn't help but smile at this beautiful man, my Edward, my life, my mate. After retrieving the cup of blood from the bathroom sink, I laid my head against his chest as he led me downstairs toward the madness. I didn't even think we had that many boxes. The scene in front of me would have been funny if I wasn't feeling so tired, Esme and Carlisle were as always trying to stop Emmett and Jasper from mucking around, Alice was still complaining, and Rosalie was trying to place our belongings into the correct boxes, at vampire speed. By the time Edward had led me downstairs everything was packed up and ready to go. Edward had already packed most of our clothes into my Mercedes and his Volvo.

"I'm going to miss you two around here."

"I know, we'll still here during the day, and it will help me reconnect with the wolves."

"I still don't see why you need to move there. We already finished the cottage for you."

"Rose, I need to do this, and I know you don't like Jake, but he's different now. He understands."

"Alright, I trust you."

"I'll miss you too you know."

"Really?"

"Mm, but you know what, if we don't get gong soon Alice will throw another fit."

"I heard that!"

"You were meant to."

"You'll miss me and you know it."

"Yes I will, but I won't miss you waking me up."

"Sorry about that really."

"You're forgiven. Can we go now?"

"Of course."

"Esme, I'm not feeling well enough to eat but I promise I'll eat at Emily's later."

"Alright sweetheart."

Leaning against Edward's shoulder, I melted into his embrace as his arm wrapped around my waist, helping me toward my Mercedes, I had been planning to drive there myself but since Alice had woken me up, I was still tired. Reluctantly I slid into the passenger seat fastening my seatbelt leaning my head against the headrest just as Edward slid smoothly into the drivers' side of my Mercedes Guardian, making quick work of our drive to LaPush, I couldn't keep the smile off my face as we crossed the boundary line, pulling up outside Sam and Emily's house, I couldn't help but laugh as I saw them phase back to human form quickly slipping on their shorts. Getting out of the car slowly I tried and failed miserably to hide my smirk.

"Yeah, yeah laugh now Bells; wait until you get into the reservation life."

"Sorry we're here this early, you can blame the pixie for that."

"S'okay, have you got everything."

"Emmett and Jasper are arriving with the rest of our thinks later on, Right now we have the basics, clothes and um…"

"What is it Bella?"

"I'm drinking blood; it keeps the babies from making me too nauseated."

"How do you get it?"

"Edward goes hunting and brings it back in a thermos for me."

"We can handle that."

"Thank you."

"Let's get you settled in."

As Sam, Jake and Jared walked in front of us toward our new house, Edward and I followed in my Mercedes; I couldn't help but think of the irony of the situation, I never in my wildest dreams ever believed I'd one day not only be living on the reservation but be able to bring Edward with me, for the first time since coming down to First Beach as a kid I felt free to be myself. Resting my hand over my stomach, I felt relieved when we finally arrived, the exhaustion from the early morning starting to catch up on me. Before I could force my heavy eyes open, I fell asleep.

**EPOV**

As I pulled up to our new home, I noticed Bella's breathing pattern had changed, that could only mean one thing, my beautiful wife had finally listened to her body and slept, I was going to kill Alice the next time I saw her for waking her up at this ungodly hour. Pulling up outside the small wooden house, I couldn't help but smile, it was perfect for us, a little bigger than some of the houses on the reservation yet comfortable. Sliding out of the car I made my way around to Bella's side of the car picking her up bridal style being careful not to jostle her, locking the car I made my way toward the Quileute Elders.

"Billy, Quil, Sue, I'd like to thank you for allowing me access onto your lands I know it's taken a lot for you to welcome a cold one into your community, I promise the treaty still stands I'll hunt away from the reservation as will my family."

"Your welcome, Edward. I knew this was the right thing to do when you and Bella come down to talk to me. And Charlie lives here now I don't want her to miss out on anything. She won't be able to see him after…"

"Actually, we're in the process of finding a way around that I mean he's going to find out eventually."

"Your right. We'll leave Sam and Jake to help you settle in."

_Got the kid all wrong, I should never have forced Jake to be with her. Would have saved a lot of hurt._

_I'm not a big fan of this but Seth likes Edward, and it's obvious he loves Bella._

_Reminds me of our wolves imprinting._

Walking inside our new home I was completely astounded, I didn't know how they did it, but they'd managed to duplicate the inside of our cottage which stood on the grounds of the main house, suddenly I was wondering if Esme and Alice had something to do with this, walking slowly into the master bedroom I laid Bella down gently before closing the door over facing Sam and Jacob.

"Thank you, I will forever be grateful."

"You're welcome. We do have a few questions though."

"Of course. What would you like to know?"

"Why did you keep trying and put us off coming up to the big house?"

"Well, the day Bella and I got back from our honeymoon, Alice had been sent five books, one of the future and four from the past, one of them is in my point of view and I didn't think that you'd appreciate hearing my thoughts."

"What's bad about that? I think it would be nice to get inside your head for once." _Instead of always picking things out of my mind._

"How much did Bella tell you about our mating bond?"

"Not much, just that it was similar to imprinting and it was you and only you she needed."

"Bella is my singer, her blood calls to me, my throat burns and at the beginning it was hard to not think about killing her. But it's different now, I just didn't think you'd want to hear my thoughts, but if that's not the case I'm sure you can join us tomorrow."

"We'd like that."

"How is the holding up?"

She's tired a lot; drinking blood helps with the morning sickness. We found out that its twins last night."

"That's great news. Congrats."

"Thank you."

"Your welcome. We're doing patrols around the area, Jake and I have just come off, Paul, Jared and Seth are taking over."

"I should call Alice and let her know we arrived safely. You know how she is when she can't see us."

"Of course we'll leave you to it. I'm just next door if you need anything."

Grabbing my cell out of my pocket I scrolled through the numbers in it, stopping as I found Alice's number, making my way to the comfortable seating, I sat down relaxing into the couches, for the first time in my existence I was completely at ease, something I didn't think would ever happen when I was around the wolves. As I waited for Alice to pick up, I allowed myself to think back on the brief time we spent apart shuddering as I relived the emotions I had been feeling back then, if it hadn't been for my hallucinations of Bella's voice I surely would have given up. Shaking my head I tried to rid myself of those memories filling my head with thoughts of Bella and my children just as I heard Alice's voice.

"Hello brother dearest, what can I do for you?"

"Well hello to you too Alice, Bella told you that one of us would call when we arrived and she's sleeping right now."

"Oh I'm sorry, I'm glad to hear that you got there safely. I take it we are coming down there later on to read?"

"Well I told Sam and Jacob about the books but Bella is going to go see Angela and Jessica today."

"Oh that's right. I hope she has fun."

"She will. I better get going; I want to get everything unpacked before Bella wakes up."

"Alright I'll let Esme know that you're safe."

"Bye Ali."

"Bye Edward."

Ending the call I stood up getting everything I needed for Bella's breakfast, frying eggs in a pan, knowing recently she'd been liking them sunny side up. Glancing at the clock I sighed, it was still only 7am yet something told me the minute Bella smelt her breakfast she would be awake, although I was praying she wouldn't. She needed all the rest she could get, especially now we found out she was carrying twins. Once the eggs were finished, I poured the mountain lion blood into a glass feeling proud of myself. Living apart from the rest of our family would be different, yet at the same time I couldn't wait for the peace and quiet with Bella. My love, my life, my wife.


	17. Theory

**Title:** Receiving The Books – The Cullens Read Midnight Sun

**Author:** Bella Katelyn

**Rating:** M

**Summary:** On their arrival home from their honeymoon, Bella and Edward find out that five books have been delivered to the Cullen house. Four from the past and one of the future. Follow my story as they sit down to read. How will Bella react when she hears Edward's thoughts for the first time? How will Edward react when he realises Bella's feelings for him mirrored his own?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to author Stephanie Meyer, and are brought to the fandom by Summit Entertainment. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours. With that said I hope you enjoy this story as much as I'm going to enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Theory**

**BPOV**

I didn't exactly sure how long I'd been asleep; the last thing I could remember was arriving on the reservation. Stretching out the kinks in my body, I got out of bed slowly, pulling my poncho over my head to keep me warm. Although I'd planned to go to Port Angeles with Angela and Jessica, I wanted to find out what happened next in the book more. With that decision made I walked out of our new bedroom smiling as I instantly smelt eggs and blood, the perfect combination, I could feel the babies moving around inside me, eagerly awaiting the blood. Walking slowly toward Edward I wrapped my arms around his waist.

"That smells lovely."

"You're supposed to be sleeping."

"It's hard to sleep when you have two people growing inside your stomach."

"I'm sorry, love. Are you hungry?"

"Famished."

"Sit down."

Untangling myself from Edward's body, I made my way toward the huge kitchen table curling up on the seats resting my hand over my bump as I demolished the eggs, once again not allowing them to cool down first, letting out a contented sigh I moved onto the blood taking long sucks through the straw feeling sated instantly. Looking into Edward's honey golden eyes, it wasn't hard to see why I got lost in them, they were beautiful, taking a deep breath, and I decided to tell him my decision.

"So um, you know how I said I wanted to see Angela and Jess today?"

"Mm."

"I've changed my mind; I'd like to read another chapter first. I'm sure Alice is already giving orders."

"They'll be here momentarily."

"What about the pack?"

"Already on their way, I told them about the books earlier."

"This should be interesting."

Five minutes later we were all once again seated in the living room, thankfully not all the wolves had joined us, Jake, Sam, Paul, Jared, Seth and Leah were the only ones to make an appearance. Curling up on the couch, I laid my hand protectively over my stomach leaning my head against Edward's shoulder as he handed the manuscript to Jake. For once Jacob kept his mouth shut finding the correct place beginning to read.

"This chapter is called Theory."

"**Can I ask just one more?" she entreated instead of answering my demand. **

**I was on edge, anxious for the worst. And yet, how tempting it was to prolong this moment. To have Bella with me, willingly, for just a few seconds longer. I sighed at the dilemma, and then said, "One." **

"**Well…," she hesitated for a moment as if deciding which question to voice. "You said you knew I hadn't gone into the bookstore, and that I had gone south. I was just wondering how you know that."**

"Wow this sounds really interesting."

"It is, I love hearing his thoughts, it's only fair since he's able to hear ours."

"That's true."

"Edward, these books, they're going to go into everything aren't they?"

"Yes, they are."

"Oh crap. I'll shut up and start reading again now,"

**I glared out of the windshield. Here was another question that revealed nothing on her part, and too much on mine. **

"**I thought we were past all this evasiveness," she said, her tone critical and disappointed. **

**How ironic. She was relentlessly evasive, without even trying. Well, she wanted me to be direct. And this conversation wasn't going anywhere good regardless.**

_Little did you know what I already knew._

"Mm that's true."

"Edward who are you talking to?"

"Bella was talking to me."

"But she didn't move her mouth."

"And, you knew I could read minds."

"Since when could you read hers."

"Leah behave,"

"Sorry."

"Bella has a gift, I'm sure it will be mentioned in one of these books."

"Alright we can wait."

"But-."

"Seth, we'll wait. Let Jake read."

"Sure sure."

"Whoa!"

"What? What's wrong is it the twins?"

"I'm fine, I promise. There is just a lot of movement happening."

Leaning my head against Edward's chest again I let out a deep breath as I felt his hand resting against my belly, as my eyes met his I could see them sparkling with what would have been tears could they fall. Reaching up, I slowly touched his face running my hand down it, Emmett's loud booming laugh echoed around the house as I realised everyone else had started to chuckle. Stupid super hearing mythical creatures. As Edward kissed me I focused on Jake as he started to read again.

"**Fine, then," I said. "I followed your scent."**

**I wanted to watch her face, but I was afraid of what I would see. Instead, I listened to her breath accelerate and then stabilize. She spoke again after a moment, and her voice was steadier than I would have expected. **

"**And then you didn't answer one of my first questions…" she said.**

**I looked down at her, frowning. She was stalling too.**

"**Which one?" **

"**How does it work – the mindreading thing?" she asked, reiterating her question from the restaurant. "Can you read anybody's mind, anywhere? How do you do it?" Can the rest of your family…?" she trailed off, flushing again.**

"Wow Bella eager much."

"Shut up Jasper I was happy he was finally opening up to me."

"Mm we can tell."

"I still don't see why you had to mess everyone around."

"Leah! That's in the past now."

"No it's alright Jake, you see Leah, Jake and I were always meant to be in each other's lives, everything just got messed up for a while, you don't have to believe me but hurting Jake is one of the things I regret most. Don't you see it was Renesmee all along."

"I find that hard to believe, you clung to him when Edward left then messed him around."

"Leah stop, Bella hurt deeply when she made the choice between Jacob and myself, I can verify that as she cried herself to sleep that night and it took hours for her tears to run dry. It was one of the most harrowing nights of my existence, you can't keep punishing her for this, not when she and Jake have finally found the bond they should have had all along."

"I, I didn't realise."

"Let's just put it behind us alright."

"Alright."

"**That's more than one," I said.**

**She just looked at me, waiting for answers. And why not tell her? She'd already guessed most of this, and it was an easier subject than the one that loomed. **

"If I knew this was how you'd felt I would never have reacted the way I did."

"I know you wouldn't Rose, it's forgotten about."

"You're too kind."

"We're family that's what we do."

"Rose, I already told you I didn't blame you, you've been through so much."

"Thank you Bella."

"Any time. We're sisters now remember."

"Yes, yes we are."

"**No it's just me. And I can't hear anyone, anywhere. I have to be fairly close. The more familiar someone's… 'voice' is, the farther away I can hear them. But still, no more than a few miles." I tried to think of a way to describe it so that she would understand. An analogy that she could relate to. "It's a little like being in a huge hall filled with people, everyone talking at once. It's just a hum – a buzzing of voices in the background. Until I focus on one voice, and then what they're thinking is clear. Most of the time I tune it all out – it can be very distracting. And then it's easier to seem **_**normal.**_**"**

"Wow it must suck to be normal."

"Haha. It's not like you guys can talk, you hear each other's thoughts."

"That's true but we can switch it off."

"That's one thing I envy about you."

"Edward I'm thirsty again."

"I'll get your blood."

"Thank you."

Moving from my comfortable spot leaning against Edward's shoulder, watching as he walked into the small kitchen to get my blood, I was beginning to feel nauseous again and the last thing I wanted was for a pack of teenage wolves hear me getting sick. Leaning my hand back against my swollen belly I rubbed it gently letting out a deep breath. Glancing up I sighed seeing all eyes were on me. Shifting in my seat slightly I was glad when Edward came back through with my cup of blood curling up against him the minute he sat down and handed me the delicious liquid. Taking a big gulp I couldn't help but laugh at their reactions.

"What?"

"I just never thought I'd see the day you were drinking that stuff."

"Shut up and read Jake, that is unless you want me to kick you out."

"No, no. I'm good I'll keep reading."

"Good."

**- I grimaced – "when I'm not accidentally answering someone's thoughts rather than their words."**

"**Why do you think you can't hear me?" she wondered.**

**I gave her another truth and another analogy.**

"**I don't know," I admitted. "The only guess I have is that maybe your mind doesn't work the same way as the rest of theirs do. Like your thoughts are on the AM frequency and I'm only getting FM."**

"Well that's one way of looking at it."

"It was hard to find an analogy that would fit, especially since I only suspected that she knew."

"I can see you're dilemma."

"I think we'll find out more when it comes to reading the rest of the books."

"Can't wait."

"I can."

"Why's that Bells?"

"Because they're in my view."

"That sound be fun."

"Mm."

**I realised that she would not like this analogy. The anticipation of her reaction had me smiling. She didn't disappoint. **

"**My mind doesn't work right?" she asked, her voice rising with chagrin. "I'm a freak."**

"Oh my God that's classic, he's the one that can hear voices and you think you're the freak."

"Look at it from my point of view I was the only one he couldn't hear and even though I said that I didn't want to, deep down I wanted him to hear my thoughts more than ever, when I… when I found my shield, it was amazing to be able to let him into my thoughts."

"What's a shield?"

"It means that I can keep people out of my mind if I want privacy, I'd rather you just read about it rather than me explain it."

"I can deal with that."

"Good."

"Cranky today aren't you?"

"Tell you what, you try carrying not one but two people inside you and see how comfortable you are."

"Whoa I was only joking."

"I'm sorry."

"Your forgiven."

**Ah, the irony again.**

"**I hear voices in my mind and **_**you're **_**the freak." I laughed. She understood all the small things, and yet the big ones she got backwards. Always the wrong instincts. Bella was gnawing on her lip, and the crease between her eyes was etched deep. "Don't worry," I reassured her. "It's just a theory…" And there was a more important theory to be discussed. I was anxious to get it over with. Each passing second was beginning to feel more and more like borrowed time. "Which brings us back to you," I said, divided in two anxious and reluctant.**

**She sighed, still chewing her lip – I worried that she would hurt herself. She stared into my eyes, her face troubled.**

"**Aren't we passed all the evasions now?" I asked quietly.**

"You two are giving me whiplash, so alike yet you don't even know it."

"Is that meant to be a compliment?"

"Coming from Leah yeah."

"Shut up Seth."

"Don't argue, please."

"We're sorry Bells."

"S'okay. Just sensitive right now."

"We understand, this has to be an emotional time for you."

"It is, but it's one of the most amazing at the same time. I've never felt this kind of excitement before."

"Tell me about it, I can feel it rolling off you in waves."

"Thanks for that Jazz."

"You're welcome."

**She looked down, struggling with some internal dilemma. Suddenly she stiffened and her eyes flew wide open. Fear flashed across her face for the first time. **

"**Holy crow!" she gasped.**

**I panicked. What had she seen? How had I frightened her?**

**Then she shouted "Slow down!"**

"Oh this is classic."

"Don't even start Emmett. I'm warning you I can kick you out now."

"Fine."

"**What's wrong?" I didn't understand where her terror was coming from.**

"**You're going a hundred miles an hour!"** ** she yelled at me. She flashed a look out the window, and recoiled from the dark trees racing past us. **

**This little thing, just a bit of speed had her shouting in fear?**

"Glad you find this so funny, how would you like it if things were reversed?"

"Alright I guess I can see your point."

"Not to mention I'm the daughter of the Chief of Police."

"Yeah, Bells I can just see Charlie's face if he had to arrest you for speeding."

"Shut up Jake."

"Sorry."

"S'okay just remember to make fun of Edward also."

"Hey!"

"Aww baby you know I love you."

"Truly I do."

"Jake read quickly before they start kissing."

"Sure, sure."

**I rolled my eyes. "Relax, Bella."**

"**Are you trying to kill us?" she demanded, her voice high and tight.**

"**We're not going to crash," I promised her.**

**She sucked in a sharp breath, and then spoke in a slightly more level tone. "Why are you in such a hurry?"**

"**I always drive like this."**

**I met her gaze, amazed by her shocked expression. **

"**Keep your eyes on the road!" she shouted.**

"That sounds like Bells, always worried about the wrong things."

"You're a fine one to talk, how many times did you purposely try and piss Edward off again."

"Low blow Bells, love blow."

"You know I'm only joking, my point is no matter what you do, and sometimes you have to follow your heart, even if it means hurting yourself."

"Bells don't."

"Sorry."

"**I've never been in an accident, Bella. I've never even gotten a ticket." I grinned at her and touched my forehead. It made it even more comical – the absurdity of being able to joke with her about something so secret and strange. "Built in radar detector."**

"**Very funny," she said sarcastically, her voice more frightened than angry.**

"**Charlie's a cop, remember? I was raised to abide by traffic laws. Besides, if you turn us into a Volvo pretzel around a tree trunk, you can probably just walk away."**

"Bet that shocked you."

"Mm, you could say that."

"You should have seen him when he came home I've never seen him so scattered."

"I'd have loved to see that."

"Alright, alright stop picking on him now alright."

"Thank you, love."

"Anytime baby."

"**Probably," I repeated, and then laughed without humour. Yes, we would fare quite differently in a car accident. She was right to be afraid, despite my driving abilities… "But you can't."**

**With a sigh, I let the car drift into a crawl. "Happy?"**

**She eyed the speedometer. "Almost."**

**Was this still too fast for her? "I hate driving slow," I muttered, but let the needle slide another notch down.**

"You seriously call 80mph slow; I'd hate to be in the car with you when you're driving top speed."

"Just you wait until after, then you'll change your mind."

"After what?"

"After I'm changed into one of them."

"What?! Sam you're just going to let him break the treaty?"

"He won't be, we've already agreed on it, if things were reversed I'd want the same for Emily."

"Fine."

"**This is slow?" she asked.**

"**Enough commentary on m driving," I said impatiently. How many times had she dodged my question now? Three times? Four? Were her speculations that horrific? I had to know – immediately. "I'm still waiting for your latest theory."**

**She bit her lip again, and her expression became upset, almost pained. I reigned in my impatience and softened my voice. I didn't want her to be distressed. **

"**I won't laugh," I promised, wishing that it was only embarrassment that made her unwilling to talk.**

_I was scared, but I know you were too. We just needed to be honest with each other._

"I know, love."

"Whoa, that's going to take some getting used to."

"You have it easy at least you can switch it off when you phase back to human."

"You have a point there."

"Jake read again, I don't want this to take all day."

"Sorry Bells."

"It's okay."

"**I'm more afraid that you'll be angry with me," she whispered.**

**I forced my voice to stay even. "Is it that bad?"**

"**Pretty much, yeah."**

**She looked down, refusing to meet my eyes. The seconds passed.**

"**Go ahead," I encouraged. **

**Her voice was small. "I don't know how to start."**

"**Why don't you start at the beginning?" I remembered her words before dinner. "You said you didn't come up with this on your own.**

"**No," she agreed, and then was silent again. **

"Ooh it's getting close to the time."

"Emmett, shut up."

"Spoil all my fun."

"You know, I used to think that you and Jake were alike once, then I changed my mind, but now, I think I was right the first time."

"Hey!"

"Sorry Jake, no offence."

"None taken now stop talking so I can read this part."

"Excited huh?"

"You bet."

"Carry on then."

**I thought about things that might have inspired her. "What got you started – a book? A movie?"**

**I should have looked through her collections when she was out of the house. I had no idea if Brum Stoker or Anne Rice was there in her stack of worn paperbacks… **

"Wait you stalked her?"

"I had to get used to her scent."

"Why?"

"I'm his singer; it means my blood calls to him."

"And yet here you sit with her carrying your children. How can you do that?"

"I love her. Without her I'm nothing. I learned that the hard way."

"Ssh, baby don't."

"Alright moving on."

"Thanks Jake."

"S'okay."

"**No," she said again. "It was Saturday at the beach."**

**I hadn't expected that. Was there a new rumour I'd missed? Bella peeked up from her hands and saw the surprise on my face. **

"**I ran into an old family friend – Jacob Black," she went on. "His dad and Charlie have been friends since I was a baby."**

"And they gossip like a couple of old women."

"Ain't that the case. One of these days I'm going to get them a handbag each."

"Now that I'd like to see."

**Jacob Black – the name was not familiar, and yet it reminded me of something…some **_**time, **_**long ago…I stared out of the windshield, flipping through memories to find the connection. **

"**His dad is one of the Quileute elders," she said.**

**Jacob Black. **_**Ephraim Black. **_**A descendant, no doubt. **

**It was as bad as it could get. **

**She knew the truth.**

Leaning my head against Edward's chest I started to feel my eyes getting heavy again, Jacob's voice had started to get further and further away the more I let sleep take me. As Edward's arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me onto his lap, I felt the cup being taken out of my hand, as I let my eyes drop closed I heard Edward humming my lullaby. I knew he'd tell me later what I'd missed out on.

**EPOV**

As Bella slept, I looked around the room smiling as I noticed my family and the wolves with the same look on their faces, it seemed that reading my thoughts with us had in fact improved our treaty with the wolves, it still felt strange to know after we finished reading this chapter, I would be staying here. If you'd told me two years ago I'd be living on the reservation I'd have laughed. Taking an unnecessary deep breath out, I nodded for Jake to continue reading.

_You sure, we could wait until she wakes up."_

"I'm sure, when she wakes up I'll fill her in on everything."

"Alright."

"I have to say you're taking this rather well considering."

"She loves you, I've accepted that now."

"Thank you."

"No need."

**But…if she'd learned the truth Saturday…then she'd known it all evening long…and yet…**

"**We went for a walk," she went on. "And he was telling me about some old legends – trying to scare me, I think. He told me one…"**

**She stopped short, but there was no need for her qualms now, I knew what she was going to say. The only mystery left was why she was here with me now.**

"**Go on," I said.**

"**About vampires," she breathed the words less than a whisper.**

_Bet that had you scared._

"That's one way of looking at it Sam, I can honestly say out whole relationship I've been waiting for her to run away screaming but she accepted me straight away."

_We've been too hard on you. We should have trusted you._

"Don't worry about it, it's in the past, you've allowed me to live on your lands that's more than I ever thought possible."

"Geez bro you and those silent conversations."

"Shut up Emmett."

"Aww Rosie."

"No, you'll be nice to Edward if you don't want to sleep on the sofa tonight."

"We don't sleep dug."

"Emm if you don't want to lose your head, I wouldn't say that."

"Fine."

**Somehow, it was even worse than knowing that she knew, hearing her speak the word aloud. I flinched at the sound of it, and then controlled myself again. **

"**And you immediately thought of me?" I asked.**

"**No. He…mentioned your family."**

**How ironic that it would be Ephraim's own progeny that would violate the treaty he'd vowed to uphold. A grandson, or great grandson perhaps. How many years had it been? Seventy?**

"I really was the one to tell her?"

"Yes, I never did thank you for that."

"I didn't believe them at the time, I was just trying to scare her."

"I know she told me. We didn't contact the elders because I was preparing to tell her anyway."

"Oh I was just about to ask that. And Ephraim is my grandfather."

"Thank you for clearing that up."

**I should have realised that it was not the old man who **_**believed **_**in the legends that would be the danger. Of course, the younger generation – those who would have been warned, but would have thought the ancient superstitions laughable – of course that was where the danger of exposure would lie. I supposed this meant I was now free to slaughter the small, defenceless tribe on the coastline, was I inclined. Ephraim and his pack of protectors were long dead…**

"Only Sam had already phased."

"We're sorry, if we had of known our presense was the key we would never have moved back here."

"It's not your fault Carlisle, and if you hadn't Bella and Edward wouldn't have met and I can honestly say that wouldn't have been a good thing. I can see now why they are drawn to each other, it's like Emily and I,"

"Thank you for your acceptance. It means more to me than you'll ever know and I know it makes Bells happy."

"This is a new treaty I just need to make it for you all to sign."

"Can we read again now?"

"Yes, jeez Emmett you'd think you were three years old."

"Shut it mutt."

"**He just thought it was a silly superstition," Bella said suddenly, her voice edged with a new anxiety. "He didn't expect me to think anything of it."**

**Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her twist her hands uneasily.**

"**It was my fault," she said about a brief pause, and then she hung her head as if she were ashamed. "I forced him to tell me."**

"**Why?" It wasn't so hard to keep my voice level now. The worst was already done. As long as we spoke of the details of the revelation, we didn't have to move on to the consequences of it.**

_How did she force me?_

"You'll see."

_Stay out of my head Edward._

"Can't help it sorry."

"**Lauren said something about you – she was trying to provoke me." She made a little face at the memory. I was slightly distracted, wondering how Bella would be provoked by someone talking about me… "And an older boy from the tribe said your family didn't come to the reservation, only it sounded like he meant something different. So I got Jacob alone and I tricked it out of him."**

_I told her, inadvertently._

"It all turned out for the best Sam."

_You're too nice considering the way we've treated you._

"No point in dwelling on the past."

_Thank you_

I nodded letting him know I heard his thoughts, smiling as I looked at Jacob nodding once more to show him it was alright to carry on reading now. Hearing my thoughts was definitely taking its toll, I couldn't wait until the focus was on Bella.

**Her head dropped even lower as she admitted this, and her expression looked…guilty. I looked away from her and laughed out loud. **_**She **_**felt guilty? What could she possibly have done to deserve censure of any kind**

"**Tricked him how?" I asked.**

"**I tried to flirt – it worked better than I thought it would," she explained, and her voice turned incredulous at the memory of her success.**

"What?! You mean she never…oh no."

"What? What is it?"

"That's why I thought she liked me. I shouldn't have done what I did."

"In the past Jake, please stop worrying about it."

"You sure."

"Positive."

"Thank you."

"Your welcome."

**I could just imagine – considering the attention she seemed to have for all things male, totally unconscious on her part – how overwhelming she would be when she **_**tried **_**to be attractive. I was suddenly full of pity for the unsuspecting boy she'd unleashed such a potent force on.**

"**I'd like to have seen that," I said, and then I laughed again with the black humour. I wished I could have heard the boy's reaction, witnessed the devastation for myself.**

"**And you accused me of dazzling people – poor Jacob Black."**

_Should have known better, I know he says that I have to forget it, but I hurt her._

"Jake I know what happened is likely going to be in one of these books. Just as I have to forgive myself for leaving, you need to forgive yourself for what happened on the mountain."

_I know, it's just difficult._

"I know but if you don't Bella will have your head."

_You have a point there. I'll get reading again._

**I wasn't as angry with the source of my exposure as I would have expected to feel. He didn't know better. And how could I expect anyone to deny this girl what she wanted? No, I only felt sympathy for the damage she would have done to his peace of mind. I felt her blush heat the air between us. I glanced at her, and she was staring out her window. She didn't speak again.**

"Mm Edward…love you."

"Is she awake?"

"No I'd say we were in for a show. Our Bella here sleep talks."

"Oh this should be fun."

"Don't be too hard on her when she wakes up."

"Alright."

"**What did you do then?" I prompted. Time to get back to the horror story.**

"**I did some research on the internet." **

**Ever practical. "And did that convince you?"**

"**No," she said. "Nothing fit. Most of it was kind of silly. And then –" **

**She broke off again and I heard her teeth lock together.**

"**What?" I demanded. What had she found? What had made sense of the nightmare for her?**

_Bet you got a shock when you figured out she knew._

"That's an understatement."

**There was a short pause, and then she whispered. "I decided it didn't matter."**

_HOLY SHIT! "_She really thought that?"

"Yes, right from the start even when she found out what I was. That's why I was so possessive when we returned, you were here, you saw how Bella was when I…when I wasn't here, but what you didn't know is I pretty much gave up, I couldn't be around my family, seeing them happy just reminded me of what I lost. In the end I tried to track Victoria, of course she was already here, another thing I'll always owe you for. You kept her safe when I couldn't. But you were wrong when you said I should have stayed away, I'm nothing without her. I curled up in a ball and let the misery take me. Then when I heard she had thrown herself off a cliff, and Rose told me she was dead, I made my way to the Volturi begging them to kill me. Of course Alice came here and Bella saved me. That's how much she means to me."

"Wow. I didn't know it was like that for you."

"She's my life."

"We've gravely misjudged you."

"Your legends aren't completely false I mean you witnessed the newborns."

"Yes they were something else."

"Dude let's read."

"Sure, sure."

**Shock froze my thoughts, for half a second, and then it all fit together. Why she'd sent her friends away tonight rather than escape with them. Why she had gotten into my car with me again instead of running screaming for the police. Her reactions were always wrong – always completely wrong. She pulled danger toward herself. She invited it.**

_Stupid Shiny Volvo Owner_

"Bella, love are you awake?"

"Mm hm."

"How are you feeling?"

"Thirsty and I kind of want some icecream."

"I'll get it."

"Thank you Sam."

"You're welcome."

"**It didn't **_**matter**_**?" I said through my teeth, anger filling me. How was I supposed to protect someone so…so…determined to be unprotected?**

"**No," she said in a low voice that was inexplicably tender. "It doesn't matter to me what you are."**

**She was impossible.**

"**You don't care if I'm a monster? If I'm not **_**human**_**?"**

"**No." **

"Bet you loved this conversation. I guess we should have known Bella would not have reacted the way a human should."

"Hey! I'm still here you know. You might be Rach's imprint but I'll still make you suffer."

"Ooh really vampire girl. And what are you going to do? The last time you tried hitting a wolf you broke your knuckle."

"That might be true, but I've slapped you once without hurting myself, don't think I won't do it myself."

"Whoa, I surrender."

"Wow, Paul, scared of human."

"She hits hard."

"Edward always thought he wasn't good enough for me. I always thought I wasn't good enough for him. But I'd give my life for him and our children. I'd be lost without them."

"Bells; I'm sorry. I should have taken no for an answer."

"In the past Jake."

"Let's continue reading."

**I started to wonder if she was entirely stable.**

**I supposed that I could arrange for her to receive the best care available… Carlisle would have the connection to find the most skilled doctors; the most talented therapists. Perhaps something could be done to fix whatever it was that was wrong with her, whatever it was that made her content to sit beside a vampire with her heart beating calmly and steadily. I would watch over the facility, naturally, and visit as often as I was allowed…"**

_I love you, you silly vampire._

"I know you do love."

"You know Emmett's right that is really annoying."

"Sorry, Seth, but now he can hear my thoughts it's sometimes easier to talk this way."

"S'okay."

"**You're angry," she sighed. "I shouldn't have said anything."**

**As if her hiding these disturbing tendencies would help either of us. **

"**No. I'd rather know what you're thinking – even if what you're thinking is insane." **

"**So I'm wrong again?" she asked, a bit belligerent now.**

"**That's not what I was referring to!" My teeth clenched together again. "It doesn't matter'!" I repeated in a scathing tone.**

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen that was rude. You had no right to talk to Bella that way."

"I know Mom, I'm sorry."

"So you should be."

"Dude, you're in trouble."

"Shut up."

**She gasped. "I'm right?"**

"**Does it **_**matter?**_**" I countered.**

**She took a deep breath. I waited angrily for her answer. **

"**Not really," she said, her voice composed again. "But I **_**am **_**curious."**

**Not really. It didn't matter. She didn't care. She knew I was inhuman, a monster, and this didn't really matter to her.**

"Edward Cullen you are not a monster how many times…"

"I'm sorry, love. I don't think that anymore."

"Good, because if you did I wouldn't hesitate to have Rosalie slap you upside your head."

"Whipped."

"Sam, you can't honestly tell me that you wouldn't be the same with Emily."

"No I can't, you're right I probably would."

"Well then. Stop making fun of Edward/"

"Sorry Bells. Jake continue reading."

"Edward before we do. I um…"

"What is it, love?"

"I'm hungry but I'm not sure what I want."

"Listen to your body."

"Eggs."

"I'll make them sweetheart."

"Thank you Esme."

**Aside from my worries about her sanity, I began to feel a swelling of hope. I tried to squash it. **

"**What are you curious about?" I asked her. There were no secrets left, only minor details. **

"**How old are you?" she asked. **

**My answer was automatic and ingrained. "Seventeen."**

"**And how long have you been seventeen?"**

**I tried not to smile at the patronising tone. "A while," I admitted.**

"How long have you been seventeen?"

"I was born in 1901; Carlisle changed me in 1918 when I was dying of the Spanish Influenza."

"Wow. That's…just wow."

"Wait so you're really a hundred and eleven?"

"Mm hm."

"And let me get this straight, Bella never cared about that either."

"Nope."

"Wow we severely overestimated your mating bond."

"I'm sure it will be in one of these books and then you can find out more."

"Can't wait."

"Here are your eggs sweetheart."

"Thanks Mom."

Taking the plate from Esme, I handed it to my Bella smiling as I watched her dig into the plate of scrambled eggs, we already knew one of the babies was a girl because of the imprint, however I was eager to know whether the second baby was a boy or a girl, I'd never seen Bella eat so many eggs before, from what I'd gathered before we started dating, she hated them.

"**Okay," she said abruptly enthusiastic. She smiled up at me. When I stared back, anxious again about her mental health, she smiled wider. I grimaced. **

"**Don't laugh," she warned. "But how can you come out during the daytime?"**

_Oh this should be good._

**I laughed despite her request. Her research had not netted her anything unusual, it seemed. "Myth," I told her.**

"**Burned by the sun?"**

"**Myth."**

"**Sleeping in coffins?"**

"**Myth."**

**Sleep had not been a part of my life for so long – not until these last few nights, as I'd watched Bella dreaming…**

"Hold on a minute, you guys don't sleep?"

"Nope. But that does give us time for other activities if you know what I mean."

"Eww, too much information."

"That's Emmett for you."

"Hey!"

"Am I wrong?"

"Well no, but Rosie that's not fair."

"I'll make it up to you tonight."

"Gross, Rose I'm eating."

"Sorry, Bella."

"You're forgiven."

"Can I read now?"

"Sure, sure."

"**I can't sleep," I murmured, answering her question more fully.**

**She was silent for a moment.**

"**At all?" she asked.**

"**Never," I breathed.**

**I stared into her eyes; wide under the thick fringe of lashes, and yearned for sleep. Not for oblivion, as I had before, not to escape the boredom, but because I wanted to **_**dream. **_**Maybe, if I could be unconscious, if I could dream, I could live for a few hours in a world where she and I could be together. She dreamed of me. I wanted to dream of her.**

"Wow."

"I told you but you never listened."

"Wish I had, it would have saved us all a lot of hurt."

"You didn't know that our child was the key. You and Bella were meant to be family."

"You're too understanding."

"I've heard that a lot, but your Bella's best friend and I can see how much you care for her."

"Thanks."

"Your welcome."

**She stared back at me, her expression full of wonder. I had to look away.**

**I could not dream of her. She should not dream of me.**

_I'm always going to dream of you, even when it's only a day dream."_

"Smooth, love."

_I only tell the truth._

"Vixen."

_Bite me._

"Soon, my love."

_You're forgiven. This time._

"**You haven't asked me the most important question yet," I said, my silent chest colder and harder than before. She had to be forced to understand. At some point, she would have to realise what she was doing now. She must be made to see this; all **_**did **_**matter – more than any other consideration. Considerations like the fact that I loved her. **

"**Which one is that?" she asked, surprised and unaware.**

**This only made my voice harder. "You aren't concerned about my diet?"**

"**Oh. That." She spoke in a quiet tone that I couldn't interpret.**

"Oh I bet you didn't like that."

"That's putting it mildly. She knew how to confuse me from the start, but I love her too much to walk away."

"Yet you did."

"Yes I did and you'll find out why I'm sure. It's the worst mistake I've ever made."

"We trust you."

**BPOV**

As Edward and Leah talked, I couldn't help thinking how surreal this all was, my perfect world had always been that one day the tribe and my family would get along, however I never dreamed that they would be accept our relationship but actually allow Edward to live on the reservation, everything finally started to slot into place. Although I knew some of the younger members of the tribe would take some persuading. Nuzzling into Edward's chest I smiled as he nodded toward Jake to continue reading again.

"**Yes, that. Don't you want to know if I drink blood?"**

**She cringed away from the question. Finally. She was understanding.**

"**Well, Jacob said something about that," she said.**

"**What did Jacob say?"**

"**He said you didn't…hunt people. He said your family weren't supposed to be dangerous because you only hunted animals." **

"**He said we weren't dangerous?" I repeated cynically.**

"Dude your being rude again. Don't you know the first rule of being a husband is you don't piss off your wife?"

"Of course I do, I'd like you to try being in my shoes back then and then see how you felt. And if that's true why do you persistently piss off Rose."

"Rose knows I don't mean any harm."

"That may be true my monkey man but you still irritate me sometimes."

"Sorry Rosie."

"You're forgiven."

"**Not exactly," she clarified. "He said you weren't **_**supposed **_**to be dangerous. But the Quileutes still didn't want you on their land just in case.**

**I stared at the road, my thoughts in a hopeless snarl, my throat aching with the familiar fiery thirst.**

"**So, was he right?" she asked, as calmly as if she was confirming a weather report. "About not hunting people?"**

"**The Quileutes have long memories."**

**She nodded to herself, thinking hard.**

"I'm actually starting to get excited about reading my view of this now."

"Oh really, what changed?"

"Well you've always wanted to hear my thoughts for one. And maybe if you hear them, you'll see that my feelings were just as strong from the very beginning."

"Mm. the end of this book can't come soon enough."

"Had a feeling you'd say that."

"What happened at the beginning?"

"A lot of things that you wouldn't like that's why we didn't have you reading with us from the start. I'd rather not talk about it."

"Alright, I'll start reading again then."

"Thanks Jake."

"**Don't let that make you complacent though," I said quickly. "They're right to keep their distance from us. We are still dangerous."**

"**I don't understand."**

**No she didn't. How to make her see?**

"**We try," I told her. "We're usually very good at what we do. Sometimes we make mistakes. Me, for example, allowing myself to be alone with you." **

**Her scent was still a force in the car. I was growing used to it, I could almost ignore it, but there was no denying that my body still yearned toward her for the wrong reason. My mouth was swimming with venom.**

"WHAT!?"

"Her blood calls to me. It's not like I can stop myself from feeling that way. It barely registers anymore."

"Well that's something I guess."

"I lived 24 hours thinking she was dead after that experience, any temptation I had for her blood vanished."

"This is why you didn't want us to read the first half of the book?"

"Yes, I'm sure you can understand."

"I do."

"Can we read now?"

"Sure, sure."

"**This is a mistake?" she asked, and there was heartbreak in her voice. The sound of it disarmed me. She wanted to be with e – despite everything, she wanted to be with me. **

**Hope swelled again, and I beat it back.**

"**A very dangerous one," I told her truthfully, wishing the truth could really somehow cease to matter. She didn't respond for a moment. I heard her breathing change – it hitched in strange ways that did not sound like fear. **

"**Tell me more," she said suddenly, her voice distorted by anguish. **

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen you made her cry."

"I didn't mean to. I was just scared. I'm truly sorry, love."

"Don't be, I understand you were battling with yourself."

"I think you're right, it's a good job we didn't hear the beginning of this."

"You'd only have misinterpreted everything."

"Hopefully we'll understand each other better now."

"I do hope so."

**I examined her carefully. **

**She was in pain. How had I allowed **_**this**_**?**

"**What more do you want to know?" I asked, trying to think of a way to keep her from hurting. She should not hurt; I couldn't let her be hurt.**

"**Tell me why you hunt animals instead of people," she said, still anguished. **

**Wasn't it obvious? Or maybe this didn't matter to her either.**

"**I don't **_**want **_**to be a monster," I muttered.**

"**But animals aren't enough?"**

"How the hell did you come to that conclusion?"

"Easy, he struggled so much to control his thirst at the beginning, I knew it was hard for him…to not give in."

"You're truly amazing."

"Stop, I'm embarrassed."

"You have nothing to be embarrassed about sweetheart."

"Thanks Dad."

"Your welcome honey."

**I searched for another comparison, a way that she could understand. "I can't be sure, of course, but I'd compare it to living on tofu and soy milk, we call ourselves vegetarians, our little inside joke. It doesn't completely satiate the hunger – or rather thirst. But it keeps us strong enough to resist. Most of the time." My voice got lower; I was ashamed of the danger I had allowed her to be in. Danger I continued to allow…**

"Nobody _allows _me to do anything Edward. I fell in love with you the first day I looked across the cafeteria I knew I loved you, of course I thought you hated me but I've never doubted that you were the one for me. Not even…"

"Hey, hey, we'll have none of that. Thank you."

"For what?"

"Trusting me, even when I didn't deserve it."

"Now who's being the silly one?"

"Alright, let's get back into it shall we?"

"Sure Jake. Please continue."

"**Sometimes it's more difficult than others."**

"**Is it very difficult for you now?"**

**I sighed. Of course she would ask the question I didn't want to answer. "Yes," I admitted.**

**I expected her physical response correctly this time, her breathing held steady, her heart kept its even pattern. I expected it, but I did not understand it. How could she not be afraid?**

_Quite easily, I love you._

"I love you too, love."

"**But you're not hungry now," she declared, perfectly sure of herself.**

"**Why do you think that?"**

"**Your eyes," she said her tone offhand. "I told you I had a theory. I've noticed that people – men in particular – are crabbier when they're hungry."**

**I chuckled at her description: **_**crabby. **_**There was an understatement. But she was dead right, as usual. You're observant aren't you?" I laughed again.**

**She smiled a little, the crease returning between her eyes as if she were concentrating on something. **

"**Were you hunting this weekend, with Emmett?" she asked after my laugh had faded. The casual way she spoke was as fascinating as it was frustrating. Could she really accept so much in stride? I was closer to shock than she seemed to be. **

"**Yes," I told her, and then, as I was about to leave it at that, I felt the same urge I'd had in the restaurant: I wanted her to know me. "I didn't want to leave," I went on slowly, "but it was necessary. It's a bit easier to be around you when I'm not thirsty." **

"Wow you two are giving me whiplash; I can't imagine what it was like living through it."

"Well Seth, confusing and frustrating is one way of describing it."

"That must have sucked."

"It did, but look where we are today. As long as we have each other that's all that matters to me."

"To both of us."

"I wish we hadn't been so hard on you now, we've all witnessed the lengths you'll go to in order to keep Bella safe."

"She's my life I'm sure you'd do the same for Emily."

"I would."

"**Why didn't you want to leave?"**

**I took a deep breath, and then turned to meet her gaze. This kind of honesty was difficult in a very different way. **

"**It makes me…anxious," I supposed that word would suffice, though it wasn't strong enough, "to be away from you. I wasn't joking when I asked you to try not to fall in the ocean or get run over last Thursday. I was distracted all weekend, worrying about you. And after what happened tonight, I'm surprised that you did make it through a whole weekend unscathed," I amended.**

"**What?"**

"**Your hands," I reminded her.**

**She sighed and grimaced. "I fell."**

"No shit Sherlock."

"Emmett Cullen you apologise right now."

"Sorry Bells."

"It's alright Emmybear."

"Oh this is classic, you're a vampire and you're scared of your mom."

"You would be too if she gave you that look."

"Well maybe if you didn't break everything I wouldn't."

"Busted."

"Shut up!"

"Moving on let's continue."

**I'd guessed right. "That's what I thought," I said, unable to contain my smile. "I suppose, being you, it could have been much worse – and that possibility tormented me the entire time I was away. It was a very long three days. I really got on Emmett's nerves." Honestly, that didn't belong in the past tense. I was probably still irritating Emmett, and the rest of my family, too. Except Alice…**

"**Three days?" she asked her voice suddenly sharp. "Didn't you just get back today?"**

**I didn't understand the edge in her voice. "No, we got back Sunday."**

"**Then why weren't any of you in school?" she demanded. Her irritation confused me. She didn't seem to realise that this question was one that related to mythology again. **

"I was wrong before, I really don't like being inside your head."

"Neither do I. Believe it or not Jake I don't like that I can hear everything people think."

"I know that…now…it's not a bed of roses hearing the pack's voices either."

"I'll bet."

"Well look at this."

"What?"

"You and Jake finally have something in common."

"Don't push it, Jasper."

"Fine you win, this time."

"**Well, you asked if the sun hurt me, and it doesn't," I said. "But I can't go out in the sunlight, at least, not where anyone can see."**

**That distracted her from her mysterious annoyance. "Why?" she asked, leaning her head to one side.**

**I doubted I could come up with the appropriate analogy to explain this one. So I just told her, "I'll show you sometime." And then I wondered if this was a promise I would end up breaking. Would I see her again, after tonight? Did I love her enough yet to be able to bear leaving her?**

"It's no wonder she believed your lie so easily Edward. You were constantly talking about leaving."

"I know. I should have just been honest."

"Yes you should. But sometimes people need to go through things to make them stronger. The moment we came back from Italy I noticed a change in you. You didn't second guess yourself anymore, you trusted yourself. I'm not sure you would have had we not been through the things we did."

"I guess that's one way of looking at it."

"Interesting."

"What it is Carlisle?"

"You are experiencing vampire thoughts."

"And that's a bad thing?"

"I'm not sure yet."

"Oh alright."

"**You might have called me," she said.**

**What an odd conclusion. "But I knew you were safe."**

"**But **_**I **_**didn't know **_**you **_**were. I—"She came to an abrupt stop, and looked at her hands. **

"**What?"**

"Wait just a minute; you felt the separation of being parted from your mate?"

"Yes, that's why I was so sad at school."

"Wow. I really did get you wrong little sister."

"Thanks Rose."

"You're welcome."

"**I didn't like it," she said shyly, the skin over her cheekbones warming. "Not seeing you. It makes me anxious too."**

_**Are you **_**happy **_**now? **_**I demanded of myself. Well, here was my reward for hoping. I was bewildered, elated, horrified – mostly horrified – to realise that all my wildest imaginings were not so far off the mark. This was why it didn't matter to her that I was a monster. It was exactly the same reason that the rules no longer mattered to me. **

"Oh my god. Well you certainly know how to shock a room full of mythical creatures Bella."

"What do you mean?"

"This is the reaction every mate has when they leave their spouse, but to hear that you feel this whilst you're still human, it's unheard of."

"Well we always knew that I wasn't a normal human."

"We can talk about this later alright."

"Mm hm."

**Why right and wrong were no longer compelling influences. Why all my priorities had shifted one rung down to make room for this girl at the very top. Bella cared for me, too. I knew it could be nothing but pain. Would it stop me from staying now? From making it worse? The way I felt right now, feeling her warmth against my skin…**

**No. Nothing would stop me.**

"**Ah," I groaned to myself. "This is wrong."**

"Definitely the wrong thing to say."

"Don't remind me/"

"Sorry man but you're going to be reminded anyways."

"Gee thanks."

"Any time."

"**What did I say?" she asked, quick to take the blame of herself.**

"**Don't you see, Bella? It's one thing for me to make myself miserable, but a whole other thing for you to be so involved. I don't want to hear that you feel that way."**

**It was the truth, it was a lie. The mot selfish part of me was flying with the knowledge that she wanted me as I wanted her. "It's wrong. It's not safe. I'm dangerous Bella – please grasp that."**

"**No." Her lips pouted out petulantly. **

"**I'm serious." I was battling with myself so strongly – half desperate for her to accept, half desperate to keep the warnings from escaping – that the words came through my teeth as a growl. **

"Edward you really need to remember your manners."

"Sorry Esme, I was kind of shocked in that moment."

"I know, son. Just remember for future reference."

"I will."

"Edward can we talk after this?"

"Of course we can Jake."

"Thanks."

"**So am I," she insisted. "I told you it doesn't matter what you are. It's too late."**

**Too late? The world was bleakly black and white for one endless second as I watched the shadows crawl across the sunny lawn toward Bella's sleeping form in my memory. Inevitable, unstoppable. They stole the colour from her skin and plunged her into darkness. Too late? Alice's vision swirled in my head, Bella's blood red eyes staring back at me impassively. Expressionless – but there was no way that she could **_**not **_**hate me for that future. Hate me for stealing everything from her. Stealing her life and her soul.**

**It could not be too late.**

"How many times do I have to tell you that you are my soul. Take yourself away from me and nothing matters anymore."

"I know, love. It was very confusing trying to work out how I was feeling."

"Now I feel really bad. You've always been against her changing, I hope you don't mind me asking, 'What changed?"

"I've tried doing things my way, it very nearly killed both of us. So now I'm doing things her way."

"That makes sense."

"**Never say that," I hissed.**

**She stared out her window, and her teeth bit into her lip again. Her hands were balled into tight fists in her lap. Her breathing hitched and broke. **

"**What are you thinking?" I had to know.**

**She shook her head without looking at me. I saw something glisten, like a crystal, on her cheek.**

**Agony. "Are you crying?" I'd made her **_**cry**_**. I'd hurt her that much.**

**She scrubbed the tears away with the back of her hand.**

"**No," she lied her voice breaking.**

"Edward this is no way to treat the woman you love."

"Shut up."

"Hey just trying to teach you how to be a better man."

"Emmett, if you don't shut up, I'll feed you to the wolves. And I don't mean the wolves that are sitting around us. Maybe Rose should have left you to be eaten by that bear after all."

"Ouch that one hurt baby sister."

"Then stop picking on my husband. These books are hard enough."

"Fine."

"Oooh scared of little old Bella."

"That goes for you too Jake."

"Easy Bells."

"Just read."

**Some long buried instinct had me reaching out toward her – in that one second I felt more human than I ever had. And then I remembered that I was…not. And I lowered my hand. **

"**I'm sorry," I said my jaw locked. How could I ever tell her how sorry I was? Sorry for all the stupid mistakes I made. Sorry for my never ending selfishness. Sorry that she was so unfortunate as to have inspired this first, tragic love of mine. Sorry also for the things beyond my control. – that I'd been the monster chosen by fate to end her life in the first place. **

**I took a deep breath – ignoring my wretched reaction to the flavour in the car – and tried to collect myself. I wanted to change the subject, to think of something else. Lucky for me, my curiosity about the girl was insatiable. I always had a question.**

"**Tell me something," I said.**

"**Yes?" she asked huskily, tears still in her voice. **

"**What were you thinking tonight, just before I came around the corner? I couldn't understand your expression – you didn't look that scared, you looked like you were concentrating very hard on something," I remembered her face – forcing myself to forget whose eyes I was looking through – the look of determination there.**

"I stupidly thought I could fight them off. I know now that that would have been a big mistake."

"Yes, it would."

"Thought so. The minute you came round the corner I felt safe. It never mattered that you were not human because from the very start you were my one and only love."

"Oh Bella."

"Ssh, I know."

"**I was trying to remember how to incapacitate an attacker," she said, her voice more composed. "You know, self-defence. I was going to smash his nose into his brain."**

"Oh that's classic, you really are a tiger kitten aren't you."

"Emmett, shut up! Only Edward is allowed to call me that."

"Sorry."

"So you should be."

"Is it always like this?"

"All the time."

"I feel for you."

"Thank you Sam."

"You're welcome Esme."

**Her composure did not last to the end of her explanation. Her tone twisted until it seethed with hate. This was no hyperbole, and her kittenish fury was not humorous now. I could see her frail figure – just silk over glass – overshadowed by the meaty, heavy fisted human monsters who would have hurt her. The fury bolted in the back of my head. **

"**You were going to fight them?" I wanted to groan. Her instincts were deadly – to herself. "Didn't you think about running?"**

"**I fall down a lot when I run," she said sheepishly.**

"**What about screaming for help?"**

"**I was getting to that part."**

"Unbelievable I'm beginning to think Edward was right, you are a danger magnet."

"It's not like a go looking for trouble."

"I know I'm only kidding."

"Sorry, dumb hormones."

"S'okay."

**I shook my head in disbelief. How had she managed to stay alive before she'd come to Forks?**

"**You were right," I told her, a sour edge to my voice. "I'm definitely fighting fate trying to keep you alive."**

**She sighed, and glanced out the window. Then she looked back at me. **

"**Will I see you tomorrow?" she demanded abruptly.**

**As long as I was on my way to hell – I might as well enjoy the journey. **

"**Yes – I have a paper due, too.2 I smiled at her, and it felt good to do this. "I'll save you a seat at lunch."**

**Her heart fluttered, my dead heart suddenly felt warmer. I stopped the car in front of her father's house. She made no move to leave me.**

"**Do you **_**promise **_**to be there tomorrow?" she insisted.**

"Someone's keen."

"Shut it."

"Spoil all my fun."

"Emmett leave your sister alone."

"Yes, mom."

"**I promise."**

**How could doing the wrong thing give me such happiness? Surely there was something amiss in that. She nodded to herself, satisfied and started to remove my jacket.**

"I love that jacket."

"Would you like to keep it, love?"

"Mm, if you don't mind though. I know you like it too."

"I can buy another jacket, love."

"Thank you."

"I love you."

"**You can keep it," I assured her quickly. I rather wanted to leave her with something of myself. A token, like the bottle cap that was in my pocket now… "You don't have a jacket for tomorrow."**

**She handed it back to me smiling ruefully. "I don't want to have to explain to Charlie," she told me.**

**I would imagine not. I smiled at her. "Oh right."**

**She put her hand on the door handle, and then stopped. Unwilling to leave, just as I was unwilling for her to go. To have her unprotected, even for a few moments… Peter and Charlotte were well on their way by now, long past Seattle, no doubt. But there were always others. This world was not a safe place for any human, and for her it seemed to be more dangerous than it was for the rest. **

"**Bella?" I asked, surprised at the pleasure there was in simply speaking her name.**

"**Yes?"**

"**Will you promise me something?"**

"**Yes," she agreed easily, and then her eyes tightened as if she'd thought of a reason to object.**

"**Don't go into the woods alone," I warned her, wondering if this request would trigger the objection in her eyes.**

**She blinked, startled. "Why?"**

"Wow Bells you really do ask some weird questions."

"Yeah well, the boy I liked was being cryptic there's nothing like a good mystery to keep you awake at night."

"You're too forgiving."

"So I've been told. Though it's lucky I am when it comes to you."

"Guess you have a point there."

"Bella, love how are you feeling?"

"A little nauseated. Are you?"

"Mm a little."

"What are you guys talking about?"

"Edward is getting sympathy symptoms."

"No way?"

"Mm."

"Heard it all now."

"Wouldn't be so sure about that excuse me."

Sliding off Edward's lap, I bolted for the bathroom closing the door after me, kneeling down over the porcelain god as I lost my lunch. Taking a deep breath, I tried to control my unsettled stomach, reaching up to flush the chain just as I heard the wolves' groans coming from the living room. Chuckling slightly, I pulled myself up off the floor brushing my teeth, rinsing the vile taste out of my mouth, pulling my hair into a ponytail, trying to make myself look decent again. Still feeling queasy I made my way back into the living room curling up on Edward's lap burying my face into his chest as his arms wrapped around my waist, I breathed in, inhaling his unique scent.

"You okay Bells."

"I will be in a minute. Carry on reading."

"Sure, sure."

**I glowered into the untrustworthy darkness. The lack of light was no problem for **_**my **_**eyes, but neither would it trouble another hunter. It only blinded humans. **

"**I'm not always the most dangerous thing out there," I told her. "Let's leave it at that."**

**She shivered, but recovered quickly and was even smiling when she told me, "Whatever you say."**

**Her breath touched my face, so sweet and fragrant. I could stay here all night like this, but she needed her sleep. The two desires seemed equally strong as they continually warred inside me: wanting her versus wanting her to be safe. I sighed at the impossibilities.**

"**I'll see you tomorrow," I said, knowing that I would see her much sooner than that. She wouldn't see **_**me **_**until tomorrow, though. **

"**Tomorrow, then," she agreed as she opened the door.**

**Agony again, watching her leave. **

"Wow, bro you really did have it bad."

"So did you when you first laid eyes on Rose, the only difference is you were a newborn at the time."

"You have a point there."

"I think we should leave that story until the wolves are not here."

"Sounds juicy."

"Not really, only Emmett being Emmett."

"What did he do?"

"Dude you promised."

"Well I can't deny Bella anything, you know that."

"Fine."

"Rose's story is something that I'm not going to share with anyone, but they went hunting after he woke up; let's just say that the tension after the hunt is intense. Well these two come back, go upstairs in the blink of an eye, Esme had just installed their new queen size bed, she's had it delivered overnight, the minute they got up there, they start fooling around, the next thing we know there's a huge thud from upstairs; we all go running to see what's going on to find these two, fully naked and the bed completely wrecked."

"Thanks, dude. Really."

"I can't believe it, this is classic. I never knew vampires could actually have this much fun."

"It can be sometimes. When we're not being hunted by nomads."

"Edward, please…I can't."

"Ssh it's okay, love."

"I'll start reading again."

"Thanks Jake."

**I leaned after her, wanting to hold her here. "Bella?"**

**She turned, and then froze, surprised to find our faces so close together. I, too, was overwhelmed by the proximity. The heat rolled off her in waves, caressing my face. I could all but feel the silk of her skin… Her heartbeat stuttered, and her lips fell open.**

"**Sleep well," I whispered, and leaned away before the urgency in my body – either the familiar thirst or the very new and strange hunger I suddenly felt – could make me do something that might hurt her.**

**She sat there motionless for a moment, her eyes wide and stunned. Dazzled, I guessed. As was I. **

"I dazzle you?"

"Frequently. Just because you're still human doesn't mean you don't have the same effect on me."

"Wow, just wow."

"Dude you're so whipped."

"And? At least I don't act like a two year old."

"Hey!"

"Am I wrong?"

"Stupid mind reader."

Boys!"

"Sorry mom."

**She recovered – though her face was still a bit bemused – and half fell out of the car, tripping over her feet and having to catch the frame of the car to right herself. I chuckled – hopefully it was too quiet for her to hear. I watched her stumble her way up to the pool of light that surrounded the front door. Safer for the moment. And I would be back soon to make sure. I could feel her eyes follow me as I drove down the street. Such a different sensation than I was accustomed to. Usually, I could simply **_**watch **_**myself through someone's following eyes, were I of a mind to. This was strangely exciting – this intangible sensation of watching eyes. I knew it was just because they were **_**her **_**eyes.**

_I love you, my mate._

"Love you too my mate."

"Aww, so cute."

"Don't tease him Leah; I swear if he wasn't a vampire his blush would be as bright as mine sometimes."

"I'll try not to although it could be a little difficult."

"It'll get better once these books hit my point of view."

"Yes love, they will."

**A million thoughts chased each other through my head as I drove aimlessly into the night. For a long time I circled through the streets, going nowhere, thinking of Bella and the incredible release of having the truth known. No longer did I have to dread that she would find out what I was. She knew. It didn't matter to her. Even though this was obviously a bad thing for her, it was amazingly liberating for me. More than that, I thought of Bella and requited love. She couldn't love me the way I loved her – such an overpowering, all consuming, crushing love would probably break her fragile body. **

_Wish we didn't have to find out the hard way that this was not the case._

"So do I, love."

"What?"

"Nothing, it'll probably be in these books anyways I'd rather not explain."

"Oh. Alright."

**But she felt strongly enough. Enough to subdue the instinctive fear. Enough to want to be with me. And being with her was the greatest happiness I had ever known. For a while – as I was all alone and hurting no one else for a change – I allowed myself to feel the happiness without dwelling on the tragedy. Just to be happy that she cared for me. Just to exult in the triumph of winning her affection. Just to imagine day after date sitting close to her, hearing her voice and earning her smiles.**

**I replayed that smile in my head, seeing her full lips pull up at the corners, the hint of a dimple that touched her pointed chin, the way her eyes warmed and melted… Her fingers had felt so warm and soft on my hand tonight. I imagined how it would feel to touch the delicate skin that stretched over her cheekbone – silky, warm…so fragile. Silk over glass…frighteningly breakable.**

"Humph!"

"Oh no, you're in the dog house."

"I'm sorry but I'm not the one who smells like wet dog."

"Touché."

"Bella, love, even when you're changed I will want to protect you the same way I do now."

"I know, stupid hormones are making me irrational."

"I love your silly hormones."

"Really?"

"Mm hm."

"Can I read now?"

"Sure, sure."

**I didn't see where my thoughts were leafing until it was too lit. As I dwelled on that devastating vulnerability, new images of her faces intruded on my fantasies. Lost in the shadows, pale with fear – yet her jaw tight and determined, her eyes fierce, full of concentration, her slim body braced to strike at the hulking form that gathered around her, nightmares in the gloom…**

"**Ah," I groaned as the simmering hate that I'd all but forgotten in the joy of loving her burst again into an inferno of rage. I was alone. Bella was, I trusted, safe inside her home for the moment I was fiercely glad that Charlie Swan – head of the local law enforcement, trained and armed – was her father. That ought to mean something, provide some shelter for her. She was safe. It wouldn't take me very long to avenge the insult…**

"What did happen to those guys. All you said was Carlisle took care of it."

"We drugged them and left them for the police."

"You didn't do anything to them? I wouldn't have blamed you if you did."

"Of course I didn't. I wanted to be better than that. For you."

"You are better for me. I was made for you."

"You two really are mates."

"No shit Sherlock. Really Paul did you think he was lying to you."

"After everything we've been through, I wondered."

"Unbelievable. Jake read."

**No. She deserved better. I could not allow her to care for a murderer.**

**But… what about the others?**

**Bella was safe, yes. Angela and Jessica were also, surely, safe in their beds.**

**Yet a monster was loose in the streets of Port Angeles. A human monster – did that make him the humans' problem? To commit the murder I ached to commit was wrong. I knew that. But leaving him free to attack again could not be the right thing either. The blond hostess from the restaurant. The waitress I'd never really looked at. Both had irritated me in a trivial way, but that did not mean they deserved to be in danger. Either one of them might be somebody's Bella. That realisation decided me.**

**I turned the car north, accelerating now that I had a purpose. Whenever I had a problem that was beyond me – something tangible like this – I knew where I could go for help. Alice was sitting on the porch waiting for me. I pulled to a stop in front of the house rather than going around to the garage.**

"Edward the last time I was in Port Angeles without you, was…"

"Was what, love?"

"When you were away. I um…just wondered if you'd take me to meet up with Angela and Jess after we finish this chapter. I'm not sure I can go by myself yet."

"It's alright, love. If that's what you want."

"It is."

"Then I'll drive. Would you like me to stay?"

"Mm."

"Alright, lovebirds we have all eternity for that stuff."

"Shut up, Ali."

"**Carlisle's in his study," Alice told me before I could ask.**

"**Thank you," I said, tousling her hair as I passed.**

_**Thank **_**you **_**for returning my call, **_**she thought sarcastically.**

"**Oh." I paused by the door, pulling out my phone and flipping it open. "Sorry, I didn't even check to see who it was. I was…busy."**

"**Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, too. By the time I saw what was going to happen, you were on your way."**

"**It was close," I murmured.**

_**Sorry, **_**she repeated, ashamed of herself.**

**It was easy to be generous knowing that Bella was fine. "Don't be. I know you can't catch everything. No one expects you to be omniscient, Alice."**

"**Thanks." **

**I almost asked you out to dinner tonight – did you catch that before I changed my mind?"**

**She grinned. "No, I missed that one, too. Wish I'd known. I would have come."**

"I have no doubt that you would have Ali, you were just so eager to meet me."

"Yeah well, Edward kept keeping you away from us."

"Not on purpose. We had to find our feet with each other."

"I know that now. But at the time."

"I know, hyperactive pixie."

"Hey!"

"Love you really."

"Love you too little sister."

"**What were you concentrating on, that you missed so much?"**

_**Jasper's thinking about our anniversary. **_**She laughed. **_**He's trying not to make a decision on my gift, but I think I have a pretty good idea…**_

"**You're shameless."**

"**Yep."**

**She pursed her lips, and stared up at me, a hint of accusation in her expression. **_**I paid better attention later. Are you going to tell them that she knows?**_

**I flinched. "Sure." **

"I'm not going to like this am I?"

"I don't think so, I'm sorry Bella."

"Don't be, Rose we've been through this."

"I know."

"What are we missing?"

"Long story. I'd rather not say quite yet."

"Alright."

_**Bella took it pretty well.**_

"**Too well."**

**Alice grinned at me. **_**Don't underestimate Bella.**_

**I tried to block the image I didn't want to see – Bella and Alice best of friends. Impatience now, I sighed heavily. I wanted to be through with the next part of the evening; I wanted it over with. But I was a little worried to leave Forks…**

"**Alice…" I began. She saw what I was planning to ask.**

_**She'll be fine tonight. I'm keeping a better watch now'. She sort of needs twenty-four hour supervision, doesn't she?**_

"**At least."**

"**Anyway, you'll be with her soon enough."**

**I took a deep breath. The words were beautiful to me.**

"**Go on – get this done so you can be where you want to be," she told me. **

"Baby, you should have told me you were there sooner. I would have welcomed you."

"Really?"

"Really. You have always stared in my dreams, having you close to me when I sleep makes me feel safe."

"Mm, I'll remember that for future reference."

"Down, boy. Save it for later."

"Eww, Bells."

"Just read."

**I nodded, and hurried up to Carlisle's office.**

**He was waiting for me, his eyes on the door rather than the thick book on his desk.**

"**I heard Alice tell you where to find me," he said, and smiled.**

**It was a relief to be with him, to see the empathy and deep intelligence in his eyes. Carlisle would know what to do.**

"**I need help."**

"**Anything, Edward," he promised.**

"**Did Alice tell you what happened to Bella tonight?"**

_**Almost happened, **_**he amended. **

"**Yes, almost. I've got a dilemma, Carlisle. You see, I want…very much…to kill him." The words started to flow fast and passionate. "So much. But I know that would be wrong, because it would be vengeance, not justice. All anger, no impartiality. Still, it can't be right to leave a serial rapist and killer wandering Port Angeles! I don't know the humans there, but I can't let someone else take Bella's place as his victim. Those other women – someone might feel about them the way I feel about Bella. Might suffer what I would have suffered if she'd been harmed. It's not right -."**

**His wide, unexpected smile stopped the rush of my words cold. **

"I'm sorry, so sorry."

"Ssh, you did a good thing. You saved no only my life but the lives other women."

"You have so much faith in me."

"And I always will."

"Thank you, my love."

"What for?"

"Saving me."

"We saved each other my mate."

"That we did."

_**She's very good for you, isn't she? So much compassion, so much control. I'm impressed.**_

"**I'm not looking for compliments, Carlisle." **

"**Of course not. But I can't help my thoughts, can I?" He smiled again. "I'll take care of it. You can rest easy. No one will be harmed in Bella's place."**

**I saw the plan in his head. It wasn't exactly what I wanted, it did not satisfy my craving for brutality, but I could see that it was the right thing.**

"**I'll show you where to find him," I said.**

"**Let's go." **

**He grabbed his black bag on the way. I would have a preferred a more aggressive form of sedation – like a cracked skull – but I would let Carlisle do this his way. We took my car. Alice was still on the steps. She grinned and waved as we drove away. I saw that she had looked ahead of me; we would have no difficulties. The trip was very short on the dark, empty road. I left off my headlights to keep from attracting attention. It made me smile to think how Bella would have reacted to **_**this **_**pace. I'd already been driving slower than usual – to prolong my time with her – when she'd objected. Carlisle was thinking of Bella, too.**

_**I didn't foresee that she would be so good for him. That's unexpected. Perhaps this was somehow meant to be. Perhaps it serves a higher purpose. Only…**_

"Hold on, I'm confused."

"What are you confused about?"

"You were just saying there was no way you could go back there, but then you did with Carlisle."

"Well, I'd already decided not to kill them, so it made going back with Carlisle easier, I also didn't want him to be disappointed in me."

"Huh, I guess I see your point now."

"Thought you would."

**He pictured Bella with snow cold skin and blood red eyes, and then flinched way from the image. Yes. **_**Only**_**. Indeed. Because how could there be any good in destroying something so pure and lovely? I glowered into the night, all the joy of the evening destroyed by his thoughts. **_**Edward deserves happiness. He's **_**owed **_**it. **_**The fierceness of Carlisle's thoughts surprised me. **_**There must be a way.**_

**I wished I could believe that – either one. But there was no higher purpose to what was happening to Bella. Just a vicious harpy, an ugly, bitter fate who could not bear for Bella to have the life she deserved. I did not linger in Port Angeles. I took Carlisle to the dive where the creature named Lonnie was drowning his disappointed with his friends – two of whom had already passed out. Carlisle could see how hard it was for me to be so close – for me to hear the monster's thoughts and see his memories, memories of Bella mixed in with less fortunate girls who no one could save now.**

"Jake can you stop for a little while. Edward and I need a moment."

"Sure thing Bells."

Sliding off Edward's lap, I held my hand out, smiling as he wrapped his slender fingers around my own, I knew this was going to be difficult considering the room full of supernatural beings in our living room, but I needed Edward to know he was not a monster once and for all. Once we entered our bedroom, I slowly shut the door with my foot, wrapping my free arm around his waist, bringing my left hand up to his cheek gently running my hand down his jaw.

"Baby, you did the right thing. Without you and Carlisle more innocent people would have been hurt."

"I just feel like I walked away. It was Carlisle who did all the hard work."

"Carlisle loves you, he'd do anything for his family. You're his first born and he along with every single member of this family will always protect you, me more than them. I'm proud of you."

"Really?"

"Yes really. You were faced with the opportunity to kill and the option to get justice, you chose justice. That's got to mean something doesn't it?"

"I suppose it does."

"So no more talk of being a monster, a monster couldn't love me the way you do, a monster couldn't love our children, but you do. You have a beautiful soul."

"You are my life Isabella Cullen."

"And you are mine Edward Masen Cullen."

"They're getting anxious to get reading again."

"Alright, alright. Let's get this over with."

Two minutes later we were once again curled up next to each other, Edward's hand resting gently on my swollen belly. I could feel the babies moving around inside me where Edward was currently rubbing in soothing circles. I was so relaxed I nearly missed Jake begin to read again.

**My breathing sped. I clenched the steering wheel.**

_**Go, Edward, **_**he told me gently. **_**I'll make the rest of t hem safe. You go back to Bella.**_

**It was exactly the right thing to say. Her name was the only distraction that could mean anything to me now. I left him in the car and ran back to Forks in a straight line through the sleeping forest. It took less time than the first journey in the speeding car. It was just minutes later that I scaled the side of her house and slid her window out of my way. I sighed silently with relief. Everything was as it should be. Bella was safe in her bed, dreaming her wet hair tangled like seaweed across the pillow. **

**But unlike most nights, she was curled into a small ball with the covers stretched taut around her shoulders. Cold, I guessed. Before I could settle into my usual seat, she shivered in her sleep, and her lip trembled. I thought for a brief moment, and then I eased out into the hallway, exploring another part of her house for the first time.**

"You really were busy weren't you?"

"Well I needed to know for my own peace of mind."

"I know. I love that you're so protective."

"You weren't saying that before the wedding."

"Yeah well, being pregnant changed my mind."

"That's good to hear."

**Charlie's snores were loud and even. I could almost catch the edge of his dream. Something with the rush of water and patient expectation…fishing maybe? There at the top of the stairs, was a promising looking cupboard. I opened it, hopefully and found what I was looking for. I selected the thickest blanket from the tiny linen closet, and took it back to her room. I would return it before she woke and no one would be the wiser. Holding my breath, I cautiously spread the blanket over her; she didn't react to the added weight. I returned to the rocking chair.**

"You really did that for me?"

"Of course, I didn't want you to freeze."

"My hero."

**While I waited anxiously for her to warm up, I thought of Carlisle, wondering where he was now. I knew his plan would go smoothly – Alice had seen that. Thinking of my father made me sigh – Carlisle gave me too much credit. I wished I was the person he thought me to be. That person the one who deserved happiness, might hope to be worthy of this sleeping angel. How different things would be if I could be that Edward. As I pondered this, a strange, uncalled image filled my head. For one moment, the hag-faced fate I'd imagined, the one who sought Bella's destruction was replaced by the most foolish and reckless of angels. A guardian angel – something Carlisle's version of me might have had.**

"You've always been my angel."

"As you're mine, love."

"Yuk, this mushy stuff is starting to turn me off my food."

"You know what you can do if you don't like it."

"No, no I'm good."

"Geez Paul afraid of Bells."

"Yeah."

**With a heedless smile on her lips, her sky-coloured eyes full of mischief, the angel formed Bella in such a fashion that there was no way I could possibly overlook her. A ridiculously potent scent to demand my attention, a silent mind to enflame my curiosity; a quiet beauty to hold my eyes, a selfless soul to earn my awe. Leave out the natural sense of self-preservation – so that Bella could bear to be near me – and, finally, add a wide streak of appallingly bad luck. With a careless laugh, the irresponsible angel propelled her fragile creation directly into my path, trusting blithely in my flawed morality to keep Bella alive.**

_I love you_

"Love you too, angel."

"Awww."

**In this vision, I was not Bella's sentence; she was my reward. I shook my head at the fantasy of the unthinking angel. She was not much better than the harpy. I could not think well of a higher power that would behave in such a dangerous and stupid manner. At least the ugly fate I could fight against. **

"OUCH! Rose what was that for?"

"That was for Bella. How could you say that?"

"Say what? What did I do?"

"Never EVER take Bella for granted, that's what. I know you were confused Edward but seriously."

"Sorry."

"E-Edward don't fight with your sister."

"I'm sorry, love."

"S'okay."

**And I had no angel. They were reserved for the good – for people like Bella. So where was her angel through all this? Who was watching over her? I laughed silently, startled, as I realised that, just now, I was filling that role. A vampire angel – there was a stretch. After about half an hour Bella relaxed out of the tight ball. Her breathing got deeper and she started to murmur. I smiled, satisfied. It was a small thing, but at least she was sleeping more comfortably tonight because I was here. **

"**Edward," she sighed, and she smiled, too. **

**I shoved tragedy aside for the moment, and let myself be happy again.**

"That's the end of the chapter."

"Well that was definitely an eye opener."

"We should get going, patrol starts again soon and I want to get back to Em."

"Is it alright if I come by your place after I met up with Angela and Jess?"

"Of course. You're always welcome."

"Thank you Sam. For everything."

"Your welcome."

Ten minutes later we were once again alone in our small house; it had taken longer for our family to leave mainly because Emmett refused to leave. I could understand why, he was so used to being with Edward, but things were different now, we were a family. And we needed our space. After getting myself ready, I was once again ready to meet Angela and Jessica having called them whilst I was changing. This was definitely going to be an interesting meeting. But oddly enough, I was excited. No sooner had I left our bedroom had Edward picked me up carrying me to my new Mercedes. My husband, my mate, my life.


	18. Dinner With Angela and Jess

**Title:** Receiving The Books – The Cullens Read Midnight Sun

**Author:** Bella Katelyn

**Rating:** M

**Summary:** On their arrival home from their honeymoon, Bella and Edward find out that five books have been delivered to the Cullen house. Four from the past and one of the future. Follow my story as they sit down to read. How will Bella react when she hears Edward's thoughts for the first time? How will Edward react when he realises Bella's feelings for him mirrored his own?

**Disclaimer:** Twilight and its characters belong to author Stephanie Meyer, and are brought to the fandom by Summit Entertainment. I'm just borrowing the characters for my own enjoyment and hopefully yours. With that said I hope you enjoy this story as much as I'm going to enjoy writing it.

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen**

**Dinner With Angela and Jess**

**BPOV**

During the journey into Port Angeles I let my mind wander back to our first date, I'd been so nervous about the fact I was finally going to find out that Edward was a vampire to notice the smaller details of the tiny town, I could definitely see the attraction, like Forks everybody had grown up together, taking a deep breath out, I prepared myself for the realisation that Jess might have invited Lauren to have lunch with us, something I wasn't looking forward to. I was brought out of my thoughts by Edward's cold hand against my own; looking into his eyes I smiled seeing nothing but love and devotion in his honey golden eyes. Before I could let my worries begin again, Edward pulled up at "La Bella Italia', Leaning sideways I kissed Edward's lips gently sighing at the thought of him not being with me; however I knew I needed this time alone with them, no matter how hard it would be. Before I could ever lay my hand against the door handle, my sweet angel, held it open for me, once again holding out his hand. Taking his hand I slid from the car leaning my head against his chest.

"Are you sure you don't want me to come in with you?"

"I'm sure, I need to do this and you need to spend time with your brothers. Maybe you can teach Emmett not to make fun of us. I'll call when I'm ready to come home."

"Alright, I love you. Look after my heart; I'm leaving it with you."

"I love you too."

Nuzzling my head into Edward's neck inhaling his scent allowing it to calm my nerves before reluctantly pulling away resting my hand over my swollen abdomen, it seemed Carlisle had been correct in his estimations, to the outside world I looked 3 months pregnant, however in reality I was only 3 and a half weeks. I laughed internally at the thought of giving birth to our twins; I'd go through any amount of pain if it meant bringing Edward's children into the world. Pulling myself out of my thoughts, I kissed Edward's lips gently one last time before turning to enter La Bella Italia, I knew he didn't want to be away from me, but he needed to hunt. Taking a deep breath, I pulled the door open, smiling as I spotted Jessica and Angela in a small booth close to the door, as I got closer I realised Lauren had in fact tagged along. Not that I was surprised, I think without Jess by her side, Lauren would forget how to function. Angela was the first one up to greet me.

"Bella, I'm glad you could make it. How are you?"

"I'm good, tired but happy."

"I can imagine. Come on sit. I hope you don't mind Lauren being here."

"No not at all. The more the merrier."

Taking my seat next to Angela in the circular booth I curled my feet underneath me, keeping my hand over my stomach gently rubbing it, I could feel their eyes on me but oddly unlike in the past I didn't shy away from the attention. Smiling shyly, I grabbed the nearest menu blushing slightly as I spotted the mushroom ravioli, however deciding to order the chicken tagliatelli instead. Once we'd all chosen our food, I couldn't help but snarl at the waitress. It appeared _Amber _still worked here.

"Good afternoon I'll be your server what can I get you?"

"I'll have the Chicken Tagliatelli and a coke please. Jess what you having?"

"Mushroom and Spinach lasagne and a coke thank you."

"Mushroom Ravioli and orange juice."

"And you miss?"

"Spaghetti Bolognaise and coke."

"I'll be right out with your bread sticks."

"Thank you."

Placing the menu back on the table I sighed feeling the twins moving around actively inside me, they were definitely taking after their father so far, always on the go. Rubbing the spot they had just nudged, I looked across the table smiling as I noticed Angela, Jessica and surprisingly Lauren all looking at me in awe. I'd expected it from Angela and Jess but never from Lauren, she's always been the more forceful in her jealousy of me being with Edward. Smiling shyly, I took hold of their hands placing it onto my belly, smiling as the babies moved around, the look on their faces was priceless, and I almost wished I had a camera.

"Wow, the baby is really strong. How far along are you?"

"Three months, but we didn't find out for sure until we were on our honeymoon. I thought I had food poisoning."

"So you fell pregnant before the wedding?"

"That's right. And Edward and I are very happy. Oh we found out that we are having twins."

"Are the babies the only reason you got married."

"No not at all. We were already planning to get married after graduation. Edward was told when he was younger that he wouldn't be able to have children after he had an accident, so these babies are our little miracles."

"You two really do love each other."

"Yes, we do. I knew from the minute I looked across the cafeteria how much I loved him. He felt the same way, of course he is a male he tried to fight it at first, he's been alone for so long. I didn't understand why you hated me so much Lauren, Edward is the only one I've ever been with, he is my first and only love, I know Tyler tried to ask me out and made a fool of himself at prom, but honestly it was all one sided."

"I can see that now, I just thought it was a high school relationship that would fizzle out."

"You will find your prince charming, I promise."

Soon after my conversation with Lauren, _Amber _returned with our drinks and food, suddenly I was starving; this pregnancy was definitely making me eat a lot more than usual, although I wasn't complaining at least the babies were getting the right amount of nutrition. I couldn't help but scowl at her, not forgetting the last time we had been here and she had been caught not only drooling over my husband but having the audacity to give him her number. Once our food was placed in front of us, and _Amber _had disappeared twenty questions started again only this time it wasn't going to be as easy to deflect.

"Wow, Bella I think that's the first time I've seen you give anyone the cold shoulder, even to me and Jess."

"Yeah, well you tend to get this way when the waitress practically ignores you, focuses completely on the guy you like and then blatantly gives him her phone number."

"Yeah you're right, that's exactly how I felt until you just explained everything, Now I think back, Edward never paid attention to anyone until you arrived."

"We're soulmates."

"You're lucky."

"I know, so where are you going for College?"

"Ben and I have been accepted into Washington University, we're hoping to be in the same dorm."

"Mike's already been accepted to Washington University, but I'm going further afield, I've been accepted to Stamford."

"Wow, impressive, Lauren?"

"Seattle University. What about you and Edward?"

"Seattle, I didn't want to move that far away from Charlie."

"I can understand why, he's going to be a grandfather."

"Ang, when your mom was pregnant with the twins, did she get bigger quicker, I feel huge."

"Pretty much, yeah. It gets easier though."

"That's good to know."

Taking a deep breath, I continued eating, really wishing I'd asked Edward to stay, the small amount of panic I still had when separated from Edward made itself known as I tried to focus on the rest of the meal, I knew Angela was watching me carefully, I just wasn't sure that I would get away without Jessica asking what the matter was. Sighing I pushed the remains of my meal around the place before giving in, feeling a little nauseated.

"Bella are you okay?"

"Mm, yeah it's just sometimes when Edward and I are apart, it becomes physically painful to be apart."

"That's why you were so miserable when he left."

"Yeah, he left because they moved; it wasn't because he stopped loving me."

"We really did underestimate your relationship."

"It's in the past all we can do now is move forward."

"You're too forgiving."

"I have been told that. Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah, did you drive?"

"No Edward drove, I need to call him to come get me."

"Need a lift to the Cullens save Edward coming?"

"Actually Edward and I live on the reservation now."

"Alright we'll go pay and you can call Edward."

"I can't…"

"Yes you can, this is our treat."

"Thank you."

Sliding out of the booth, I walked toward the front door, giving up on trying to pay, I knew it was a lost cause; I was starting to wonder if Angela had been talking to Alice. Laughing quietly, I pulled out my IPhone finding Edward's number quickly, I didn't like to disturb his hunt, but there was only so much of Lauren I could handle, although things were going to be interesting when I told him we would be going to the same university. As usual, Edward answered the first few rings, no doubt just as anxious to come back to me. I heard the car screech to a halt so he could talk.

"Hello, love. How was your afternoon?"

"Eventful, we're done. How far away are you?"

"Not far, Alice saw your decision to call me I'm a block away."

"Come get me. I'll be waiting."

"I love you."

"Love you too my Edward."

Letting out a deep breath, I reluctantly hung up, pulling the door open again walking back inside, I could already tell Lauren had left, Angela and Jess were getting ready to leave, it felt strange to suddenly have Jessica and Lauren as allies instead of enemies. It gave me hope that maybe now she knew Edward and I were bringing children into the world, our relationship wasn't to be taken lightly. However I didn't think that Mike would be quite so easy to handle. From the corner of my eye, I noticed _Amber _approaching me, great I just get one problem out of the way and another crops up. Resting my hands over my baby bump, I prepared myself to put this little harpy in her place.

"You're the same girl who came in with that gorgeous guy a few years ago, am I right?"

"Yes that's right. What business of it to you?"

"Well, you're obviously not with him anymore. Why would he stay with _you_?"

"Sorry to disappoint you, but we are still very much together, and married. And are you not seeing the truth in front of your eyes, we're having a family together. Time to take the delusions elsewhere or better still get your own boyfriend."

"Why you little-."

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. Otherwise I won't be responsible for my actions."

The familiar velvety voice calmed my emotions instantly, cold arms wrapped protectively around my stomach as the babies calmed down, I could see the realisation dawn on _Amber's _face as Edward made it quite clear who he belonged to. Burying my head into Edward's chest I tried to hide my smile, knowing that he was scenting me, something I realised I myself had started to do. Nuzzling my head into Edward's chest I inhaled his scent hearing the vibrations as Edward spoke.

"Did you have anything important to say or were you just trying to make my wife feel small."

"N-no I've forgotten what I was going to say."

"Good, now if you want to keep your job I suggest you turn around and keep walking."

"Y-yes sir."

Before I could reprimand him, Edward scooped me up bridal style carrying me to the car, I noticed once again he'd driven my Mercedes, suddenly I knew exactly what to get him for Christmas, although I would have to make sure I blocked my thoughts from him whilst thinking about it, the last thing I wanted was for him to rumble me before it was time to reveal it. Taking a deep breath, I started to relax as Edward placed me into the car, the last thing I could remember was Edward getting into the car, completely drained from the hectic day I'd had, I let myself sleep, knowing Edward would undress me once we arrived home. The minute the car started moving I fell into a deep sleep to Edward once again humming my lullaby.


End file.
